Life As We Knew It
by Aurora Borealis 1234
Summary: The daily lives of the Marauders and Regulus (told from their alternating points of view) starting with year one and carrying on into their post-school years. A lot of in-depth character development more than specific plot. Mostly to canon but not necessarily to all of the new Pottermore writing. It has funny parts, but it's more of a drama than a comedy. Please read & review! :-)
1. Prologue

Author's Notes:

I was a little hesitant to have prologue that was from the point of view of Dorea, because the remainder of the story (save for a couple chapters) will be from the points of view of Sirius, James, Remus, Regulus, and Peter. Thus, if you don't want to read a story entirely from Dorea's perspective, please keep reading; it's just the prologue (and a couple chapters way later on).

Secondly, this story has a lot of flashbacks. When those occur, I reverse the italics. For instance: in present time, the font is regular and thoughts are in italics, whereas in a flashback, the font is italicized and thoughts are regular. I also try to make it clear when a flashback is occurring with the flow of the story. The name in parentheses at the top of a section will indicate whose point of view that section is written from.

Thirdly, I know that it has been revealed on Pottermore that Dorea isn't James' mother, but I'm still holding onto the fact that Dorea and Charlus were his parents. I try to stay as close to canon as I can, but with new writing coming out on Pottermore so frequently, it's challenging to do so. The story is pretty true to canon as far as the original books go.

Also, just as a warning, I am rating this story an M for later chapters. Most chapters are not M, but there are/will be some swearing and violence in later chapters. I will put specific warnings at the top of those chapters.

 **(Dorea Potter)**

Dorea Potter had been born Dorea Black. When she thought back on her childhood and early years, she often wondered what higher power had intervened to spare her from the misguided thoughts of her relatives. As she could still vividly, yet grudgingly, recall, she had not always viewed the world as she did now. She had been born the fourth child of two very prominent wealthy members of elite wizarding society. As such, Dorea had been informed of her pristine pure blood from birth; she was better than almost all others, and she was a member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.

From a very young age, Dorea had taken immense pride in her surname and all of the privileges that she had been told went with it. She had looked at muggles with a learned demeanor of disdain and, because she was naturally compassionate, pity. Looking back now, she could almost chide herself for how foolishly naïve she had been back then – to think that muggles were so weak and stupid that they deserved pity rather than respect. Dorea often liked to forget that she had ever thought of muggles, who she now considered equals to magic folk, as inferiors.

Like all members of the Black family, she had been brought up to know exactly how to conduct herself in high society. Her parents were constantly taking her to social events where she would meet and mingle with the most elite members of the wizarding community. By the time she was old enough to attend school however, much of the glamorous world she thought she knew had changed.

Dorea's earliest childhood memories were not at all happy despite their lavishness; yet, her parents had changed their ways significantly after her elder sister, Cassiopeia, fell tragically ill when Dorea was eight. For almost as long as she could remember, her sister had been ill – mostly bedridden, and though Dorea did not realize until she was older, the untimely illness of her sister had spared Dorea from her parents' severity. She, now the only public daughter and the youngest child, was granted a leniency that her cousins, and even her brother, Pollux, were not afforded. At eight years old, Dorea witnessed how life could change in the blink of an eye. Her once healthy sister was so ill and frail that she could not return to Hogwarts for her third year of school. Instead, Cassiopeia stayed home, shut up in her bedroom, and Dorea was not permitted to visit her.

That same year, her brother Marius did not receive a Hogwarts acceptance letter, thus confirming her family's suspicions that he was indeed a squib. This was of the highest disgrace for her family – or so she had been told at the time. Marius – the thought of him now still brought tears to her eyes – had been ostracized fully after that. He was sent promptly away to a muggle boarding school in Switzerland, and he was never allowed to return home again. If he had ever written to her, Dorea still did not know. She had never received any letters, though she knew that her parents would not have allowed her to correspond with a squib, and would have taken it upon themselves to prevent such a relationship. After her mother and father had been so quick to lock Cassiopeia away from society and to cast Marius out of their family entirely, Dorea had become even more terrified than ever to make even the slightest mistake in her parents' eyes.

By the time she was old enough to attend school, she had perfected her ability to portray a beautiful, flawless, emotionless, marble statue. She was admired by her family and her peers for her beauty, intelligence, wit, and grace. She made friends within her house: Slytherin. Yet, she was not happy. Dorea's early years of Hogwarts, like her years at home, were encompassed by a tremendous fear of being less than her surname and her family required of her. By her fifth year, her parents were already beginning to pick out a suitor for her. But, that was the year that everything changed once again, and she had left the world she thought she knew far behind.

 _Dorea sat neatly by the lake in the white Louis 14th chair that she'd conjured. She was reading her fifth-year Transfiguration textbook. She wished that the tree beside her was providing more shade; the last thing she wanted was a sunburn when she met her parents' latest selection for a potential husband._

I do hope he's kind. _She thought to herself. Suddenly, Dorea was aware of a rising commotion heading her way. Students were yelling, laughing, and shouting._

 _"Look out!" a boy's voice yelled, and Dorea stood and turned to look behind her towards the grounds, when something large and solid crashed into her. She was shocked by the impact, she was falling backward, and all at once she was underwater in the lake on her back. Paralyzed by shock, she hardly noticed the heavy thing getting off of her. Dorea sat up in the water, coughing, thoroughly embarrassed and confused. She looked around to see what had hit her and then she saw him._

 _He was sitting there beside her, handsome as the devil with a look of utter shock on his face. He had a mop of messy black hair that was dripping wet. His t-shirt, equally soaked, clung to him. When she saw him, although her first thought was to scold this boy for what he'd done to her – didn't he know how to behave in a lady's presence – she must not have looked angry enough, because that handsome reckless boy dared to smile at her._

You should be apologizing to me profusely, not smiling! _She thought furiously._

 _"You've got a bit of leaf" he said, reaching towards her face. They were only a foot or so apart, and so Dorea lurched backward to avoid him._

 _"I beg your pardon" she exclaimed, some of her confidence returning to her now that the initial shock of being plowed into by this boy and falling into the lake was passing. She sounded every bit the pampered sophisticated young elite that she was. He retracted his hand and gave a small laugh._

 _"I'm sorry" he said, still chuckling. "But, you've got a bit of leaf in your hair and the way you're glaring at me… it's as if you're Medusa reincarnate."_

 _Dorea gawked at him. She had never been spoken to so rudely in all her life. She stood up, and he quickly followed suit. He extended a hand to her to help her out of the water, but she ignored it. As she walked, she pulled at her wet hair and yanked a very large, slimy green leaf out of her hair. She gave a little screech and threw it into the lake._

 _"How dare you!" She rounded on the boy as soon as they'd reached the grassy shore. There were people standing with them on the bank but she didn't care. How dare he humiliate her like this? How dare he laugh at her instead of apologize, and then compare her to Medusa?!_

 _"I'm really sorry" he said earnestly, putting up his hands in defense._ Isn't he on one of the other houses' Quidditch team? _Dorea wasn't sure; she had never paid much mind to Quidditch._ Merlin, he is handsome _._ No; it doesn't matter if he's handsome, he's rude and clearly uncivilized.

 _"For what? Plowing into me? Knocking me into the lake? Or comparing me to a mythical monster with a face that could turn men to stone?" She was glaring at him, and to her utter surprise and frustration, that boy apparently had the audacity to laugh at her anger._

 _He was laughing – albeit he appeared to be struggling hard not to – but he was actually laughing behind his hand all the same. Covering his mouth, and shaking his head apologetically, he managed_

 _"I'm sorry for all of those things, and one more."_

 _"Oh, and what is that, may I ask?" Dorea snapped back, eyeing him with disdain. He wasn't laughing anymore as he took a few steps closer to her. He leaned down to whisper in her ear so that the onlookers wouldn't hear. She had half a second to wonder why before he whispered_

 _"I'm sorry that I don't know your name, because, leaf and all, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen." Dorea almost smiled._ No. Flattery doesn't work on me after you've just behaved in such a way and hardly even given a real apology. And now he thinks he's going to get a date out of it? Must be a Gryffindor.

 _"Yes, well…" she said, stepping backward away from him and picking up her transfiguration textbook off the grass. "I'm not interested." Before he could reply, she turned on her heel and began marching back up towards the castle._ Wait until I tell the girls about this! _Not a minute later, that boy was jogging up beside her._

 _"I really am very sorry" he told her. She glanced over at him, still soaking wet, his long hair messier than ever._ How could anyone stand to be so handsome? _She did not slow down in her retreat to the castle._

 _"Perhaps those should have been your first words after you rammed me into the lake."_

 _"You're right. They should have been. I'm sorry for that as well." She stole another glance at him; he was looking at her hopefully behind round hazel eyes._

 _"Fine." She said, "You're forgiven; now you may leave me in peace."_

 _"Can I at least know your name?" he asked her. Dorea sighed._

 _"Dorea Black, if you must know." She kept walking._

 _"Dorea" he said. "What a lovely name."_

 _"Thank you" she said, already annoyed by this boy, yet unable to refrain from using her instilled manners to thank him for the compliment. "Good day." She added, dismissively._

 _"Wouldn't you like to know my name?"_

 _"Not really. I'd prefer to carry on as if this incident and meeting you never occurred."_

 _"But how will you address all of your letters of anger for the humiliation I've caused you?" He was teasing her, and she knew it. She tried to hide her smirk from him. "I'm in Gryffindor" he told her._ Hadn't that just been so obvious? _She stopped at the foot of the front steps. She did not want to walk in, soaking wet with this boy. Goodness knows what people would think, and she couldn't risk looking shameful._

 _"Fine. Tell me your name if you must, and then kindly part from me. I have no desire to spend my time talking to a boy who rudely plows ladies into lakes while they're reading." Again, he laughed at her choice of words. "You aren't helping your case by laughing at me, you know. Tell me your name so that after today I can do my best to avoid you and never speak to someone so ungracious again."_

 _He looked unabashed by her words, and instead adopted a more confident – if not arrogant – expression. He held out a hand for her to shake and offered her a little bow, still grinning recklessly. He might just be the most handsome boy she had ever laid eyes on – not that it mattered because she didn't like him._

 _"Dorea, I'm very honored to meet you." He said smoothly, and she thought that she could now pick up an heir of aristocracy in his manner. "My name is Charlus Potter."_

Even still today, after many happy years of marriage, Dorea still thought of the day that Charlus fell into her life as the day the real world literally hit her like a well-built Quidditch player and woke her up in a lake. Her life was never the same after he had entered it. She had at first tried to do all she could to avoid him, but despite his initial rudeness upon meeting, he was quite charming. More than that, his view of the world -politics, muggles, and traditions - was fascinating. She had never heard anyone talk the way he did – animated, alive, excited about everything and truly eager to make a difference in the world. Dorea had been fascinated to learn that not all members of the upper class upheld all of the behavioral traditions that her family insisted upon so religiously.

Being the youngest daughter of aging parents, Dorea had been allowed to marry Charlus Potter, the man who revealed to her that not all pureblood families were like hers, when she was nineteen. It was the happiest day of her life up until that point. She had never dared to imagine she'd marry for love – it just didn't happen in the elitist pureblood families – and yet she had been that fortunate.

Life with Charlus could not have been more enjoyable. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that she had never dared to let herself envision living a life she had chosen for herself; or perhaps it was the way he looked at her, spoke to her, treated her – as if she was his entire world. Dorea went on to pursue a career in medicine, and she worked as a Healer at St. Mungo's for many years. It wasn't what her own parents would have had her do, but it was what she wanted, and that had been all that had mattered to her husband. There was no real reason for her to feel unhappy, and yet she was so. More than anything, she wanted a child. When she was younger, Dorea had always feared bringing a child of her own into the world she knew. It was a harsh, strict, demanding world – full of obligation and false smiles.

Dorea had always been grateful, however, that she had not been in the main line of the Black family tree; her child would never run the unfortunate risk of being declared the heir of the Black family's main ancestral line. No, that unfortunate task fell onto her cousin: Orion. She had always felt bad for the poor boy when he was a child. Dorea's cousin Arcturus II, Orion's father, was a very hostile man, and he had never given the child a moment's peace. Dorea would have liked to have believed that this had been in Arcturus' nature, for surely that would have been less tragic than the truth, which was that Arcturus' father – her own uncle – Sirius II, had been equally as horrendous to his son. Thus, she understood - or at least she could attempt to rationalize - the cruelty, because she had witnessed the way the heirs of the main line had been treated first hand when she was a child. The boys were treated with merciless severity, and the girls as political pawns who had no right to be anything but flawless.

Dorea had grown estranged from her elder brother, Pollux, as the years passed. After he married – a wretched woman named Irma Crabbe –, the two had borne three children: Walburga, Alphard, and Cygnus. At first Dorea feared that her brother would fall into the habit of cruel ruthlessness that many of the men in the Black family seemed to adopt; yet, he did not. Dorea was pleased to see that her niece and nephews were brought up happy – though they were treated as if they were royalty and spoilt beyond all imagination. Dorea had spent a few summers with Alphard as her little ward, and she had tried to instill the notions in his young mind that blood purity did not truly matter. Yet, as the years passed, Dorea grew estranged from her brother and his family; their views on blood status differed so greatly from her and Charlus' opinions that civilized conversation became nearly impossible.

It was not until several years of not speaking to her brother when she found out that he had arranged for his only daughter to marry into the direct line. A marriage of the two was, in Dorea's firm opinion, a disastrous proposition. Not only were Orion, the direct heir, and Walburga second cousins, but it would also mean that Dorea's own future great nephew, or nephews, would be exposed to the harsh treatment that all Black heirs in the direct line were subjected to. It had pained her so greatly to hear of it. All she and Charlus wanted was a child – and they had tried for so many years without avail – and here were her relatives incestually having children, which they were sure to mistreat terribly. Walburga and Orion had not been married a year before their first child was born. Dorea had not been invited to the christening of the young heir; yet, that same year, Dorea had finally had a precious miracle of her own to call son, and she fell out of contact with the Black family altogether.

As time passed, Dorea was able to happily escape into her life of light, laughter, and joy with Charlus and their son, James. She gave little thought to her maiden name, or to the Black family that she had once called herself a part of. Thus, Dorea was quite caught off her guard on the sunny warm summer's day when she suddenly found herself faced with them for the first time in years.

"James!" Dorea called laughing happily as her five-year-old miracle, with his perpetually messy black hair and twinkling hazel eyes, ran along Diagon Alley in front of her. He had been there many times, but at such a young age, his young mind could not retain the memories, and he always reacted with the surprise and awe as if everything he was seeing was for the first time. _Oh the blissful enchantment granted to the young!_

She caught up to her son at Quality Quidditch Supplies. James, alight with happiness, was bobbing up and down in front of the shop window, his head only barely seeing inside despite the fact that he was standing on the tips of his toes.

"Mummy!" he was saying as she approached. It seemed he had been repeating the word several times, for he still had the childlike innocence of believing that his parents would surely follow him wherever he ran off to – which, in the case of Dorea and Charlus, they most certainly did – and that danger did not exist. _My goodness, you keep us young._

"Yes dear? What is it that you see?"

"Broom!" James was jabbing his little index finger into glass. "Mummy, broom! Look!"

"Yes, it is magnificent. I see it, darling."

"Can we get it? Can we, Mummy? Please!" Dorea's soft smile widened. She knew that she should not spoil her son so much; surely it would come back to bite her during his teenage years, but… how could anyone say 'no' to such an adorable hopeful face…especially when it was to a request so easily granted? What harm would it do to buy him the broom? _None. No harm at all._

"Well, James. You have been a very good boy for this whole trip, haven't you?" He stared up at her, his eyes beaming with anticipation, and his mouth curving into a knowing smile. "Yes, we can get it."

James let out a scream of pure exhilarated joy and hopped up and down several times. He charged at her and wrapped her in a hug just above the knees. Not fifteen minutes later, Dorea and James were exiting the shop hand-in-hand; in her other hand, she held a bag which contained the small child-sized broomstick.

"Thank you Mummy! Thank you! Can I ride it? When can I ride it? Can I ride it now?"

"As soon as we get home, you can ride it, dear. But Mummy has a bit more shopping to do. How about we go get you an ice cream cone for you to eat?" _That should keep you entertained, and hopefully content to stand in one place, while I finish up._

"Can I get sprinkles?"

"James Potter, have you ever **not** gotten sprinkles?" she teased lovingly. James giggled and jumped with delight and boundless energy once more.

"No."

"That's right. What a silly question. Of course you can get sprinkles." The parlor was in sight now, and James slid his little hand out of hers and took off at a run towards it. Dorea sighed with happiness. There was nothing she loved more than seeing her son happy. _One day it will take more than toy broomsticks and sprinkles… ah, I'll enjoy every moment of this while it lasts._ It took Dorea a few minutes to make it to the ice cream parlor; she was not as young as she used to be for one thing, and for another, unlike a five-year-old, she could not weave her way through the dense crowd of people unobtrusively.

When she arrived at the entrance, she spotted her son inside near the counter. He was talking to two small boys, one of which looked about James' age, and the other slightly younger. Unlike her son, who was dressed in play clothes, the two boys were dressed in fancy robes, which, in her opinion, were rather too heavy for the hot summer weather. Dorea drew nearer, but she did not interrupt the boys. She always wanted to encourage her son to be social and make friends. From where she now stood leaning against the wall of the ice cream parlor, she could hear their adorable conversation.

"My favorite is banilla." The youngest was saying.

"It's **va** nilla, Reg." The other corrected, shooting a grin at James.

"That's what I said. Banilla."

"He's only four. He doesn't know."

"I'm five." James said triumphantly.

"Me too! What kind are you going to pick?" asked the taller boy.

"Raspberry! With rainbow sprinkles of course." _As always._ "What will you get?"

"Uhh…" The boy's smile faltered, but was quick to return. "I'll get pumpkin spice…if she lets me."

"Who? Your Mum?"

"Yeah."

"Siri, I want banilla." The littlest of the three repeated, tugging on lightly on his brother's sleeve.

"I know, Reg. I'll get you your vanilla."

"Does she not like pumpkin spice?" James asked. The boy laughed.

"Mum doesn't eat ice cream."

"Why won't she let you get it then?" Again, the small boy's smile faded, and he shuffled his feet a bit.

"I did something bad." The boy told him, and James' eyes widened.

"It must have been really bad if she won't let you get ice cream!" James said, positively horrified at the prospect of someone losing an ice cream. The boy nodded gravely. "What did you do?"

"I-I…" he hung his head, "I accidentally talked to a muggle. **Accidentally**." James cocked his head to the side in confusion. "I-in the pothcary."

Dorea wondered if she should intervene. She did not want James getting confused by prejudices that this little boy's parents had unjustly confused their own son with.

"What's the pothcary?" The littlest one asked, pulling on his brother's sleeve.

"You know, Reg. The one we were in with all the potions."

"Smelly." All three of them laughed.

"Yes."

"So?" James mentioned, still confused. The little raven-haired boys' eyes widened with shock, and they exchanged a look. They had clearly never questioned that muggles were inferior to themselves, nor heard anyone act as if they were not, before.

"Muggles are – " Dorea felt her time to interject had arrived.

"Hello, boys." She said smiling. They looked up at her. James was grinning.

"Mum, why is it bad that he talked to a muggle?" _It most certainly isn't. How to answer this without confusing any of the three. My goodness…_ Dorea's musing was cut abruptly short by the sound of a loud high-pitched harsh voice.

"Sirius Orion Black, how dare you go running off like that!"

Dorea turned to see a tall, thin, rather beautiful, yet stern-looking woman. She looked to be about 23. She was completely over-dressed, wearing a tight ankle-length green gown and very high heels. She had jet black hair, which was pinned up elegantly in curls, thus revealing massive fire opal and diamond earrings. True, Dorea had not seen her young niece in many years, but Walburga Black was unmistakable. Walburga seemed to catch sight of Dorea, and her expression changed to a more tranquil one.

"Dorea? My dear Aunt Dorea" she said with a false kindness that Dorea recognized all too well from a lifetime of dealing with the Black family. False kindness was in their nature.

"Walburga," Dorea said sweetly. "What a surprise. Are these your sons?" The two women turned to look down at the three boys. Dorea was upset, but not surprised, to see that Walburga's two sons were cowering, the elder one now strategically positioned in front of the younger, as if to shield him.

"Yes." Walburga answered, and her voice held no affection. "This is Sirius, our family's heir." At the introduction, the taller of the two small raven-haired boys stood up straighter and held out his hand for her to shake. Dorea crouched down and shook the little hand gently.

"Hello, dear."

"I'm very pleased to meet you" he said shyly. The words sounded rehearsed.

"Aren't you polite!" _Not surprised, you poor dear._ "I'm very pleased to meet you as well." Dorea spoke as warmly as she could, but he did not smile.

"And behind him is Regulus." The littlest boy poked his head out from around his brother's arm at the sound of his name.

"Hello, Regulus." Dorea said smiling. He returned the smile. "This is my son, James." Walburga turned her stern gaze down onto James, who was eyeing her curiously.

"Hi" James said happily.

"Hello, Master Potter." Dorea's niece answered curtly.

"Shall we all sit together?" Dorea suggested, trying to be as friendly as she could. Her niece eyed the tables with disdain.

"I suppose we could stay for a short while." The five of them sat down at one of the round tables. Dorea was seated between Walburga and James, with Regulus on the other side of James, and Sirius seated between his brother and his mother. A short moment later, a young wizard of about sixteen came over to take their order.

"Can I help you ma'ams?" Walburga's eyes traveled up him and she turned her head away in a look of pure revulsion.

"Yes, thank you. We'd like to order" Dorea said with an apologetic look at the waiter. "James, honey, tell him what you'd like."

"A raspberry with rainbow sprinkles in a cone" James announced brightly.

"Great choice!" The waiter said with a friendly grin. He turned to look at the other two boys. "How about you two?"

"He'd like a vanilla in a bowl please." Sirius said.

"Alright, and you?" Sirius paused, his eyes darting to his mother, who still had not looked away from the large front window of the parlor.

"I'll have –" but at this point, the long painted red nails on Walburga's right hand tapped the tabletop once in succession. Sirius stopped speaking at the sound, and then, after a second's pause, "I don't want anything, thank you."

 _Really! Walburga, you are being absurd. You won't let this young child have an ice cream, all because he spoke to someone that you do not approve of based on nothing more than a petty prejudice! I should say something. Not my place. Oh, but that poor child._

"Are you sure?" the waiter asked, and this time Walburga did turn her intimidating glare on him, causing the young man to take a step backward. He shuffled away hastily.

"Walburga, surely Sirius would like an ice cream as well, don't you agree?"

The stunningly beautiful, yet very harsh, woman raised one of her elegant thin eyebrows. Walburga turned to her son, speaking frankly.

"Sirius, do you want an ice cream?" The young boy looked very confused now, and was clearly afraid to answer lest he upset his mother further. " **Well**?" she demanded.

"Y-yes, Mother." Walburga let her hand collapse flat onto the table loudly and her eldest son gave a start as if she had slammed the table. She was glowering at the poor child.

"Do you think you **deserve** an ice cream after what you did at the Apothecary?" His face fell and he cast his eyes downward.

"No, Mother."

"Thus, do you want an ice cream?"

"No, Mother."

"There, you see, Dorea, he does not want an ice cream. Sirius understands discipline. He does not desire what he does not deserve."

"Really, Walburga? He is a child. Don't you think-"

"I do not attempt to tell you how to raise your son, Aunt. Do not aim to tell me how I will raise mine." Dorea sighed.

"You're right. I'm sorry for overstepping."

At that point, the waiter returned with the two ice creams, and both James and Regulus ate happily. Dorea could not draw her eyes away from Sirius: the Black heir. Oh, how she had feared for what his life would be like even before he had been born. Her great-nephew, subjected to the parenting of Orion and Walburga. _Poor dear._ The boy sat quietly, staring at his hands in his lap, looking utterly miserable. Beside her, James wasn't used to being so quiet.

"Today, I got a new broomstick!" he shared. Both boys looked at him in awe.

"Are you going to fly on it?" Sirius asked.

"Yes! As soon as I get home!"

"You're so lucky" Sirius breathed.

"I can't wait! Mum, how high does it go?"

"Five feet." Dorea told the two boys.

"It goes five whole feet!" James reiterated to his cousin. "I'm going to fly over mountains."

"Wow!" The two conversed about the broomstick for another five minutes until both James and Regulus had finished their ice creams. Walburga stood.

"Well, Aunt, it was certainly a pleasant surprise seeing you after such a long estrangement" Walburga lied with a small smile on her beautiful porcelain face.

"Yes. I am glad to see that you are doing well." Dorea now addressed her two young sons. "Sirius, Regulus, it was very nice to meet both of you as well." Regulus stared at her with big grey eyes, and Sirius obligatorily held out a hand for her to shake once more.

"Thank you. It was a pleasure to meet you." _I can hardly believe he's only five years old. Sadly though, I can. All of the Blacks in the main line have always been treated like mini adults since the age of two or so._ She shook his hand once more and tried to give the little child an encouraging smile. He turned to James.

"Nice to meet you. Have fun on your new broomstick."

"Thanks!" Thus, as suddenly as the Black family had popped back onto her radar, they were now leaving the ice cream parlor just ahead of Dorea and James.

Dorea couldn't shake her young niece's treatment of the poor boy, who had really made no mistake at all. She reached down and hugged James tightly. She knew that she couldn't help all of the children of the world who deserved better treatment, but she could at least make sure that she gave the one precious child she did have the best life possible.

"How was your ice cream, dear?"

"Delicious, Mum!"

"I'm very glad to hear that."


	2. Chapter 1: The Luck of the Draw

**(Sirius Black)**

For potentially the first time ever, Sirius woke up of his own accord. He could tell from the thin rays of light streaming in from his bedroom's one tall narrow window that it was just after daybreak. He could literally feel the adrenaline swirling around somewhere in his stomach – an unnecessary reminder that today was finally the day when he would be going to Hogwarts. For the first time in his life, he'd be away from his family's consistent watchfulness and micromanagement.

 _Well…most of the family anyway. Mother and Father at least._ There would still be elder cousins at the school, and he was sure they'd be hovering about his every move in place of his absent parents. Still… he'd take his cousins' snide comments over his mother's relentless inability to be satisfied any day.

As Sirius lay sprawled out on his large ornate bed, under emerald green satin sheets, he couldn't stop smiling to himself. That very same evening he would be being sorted; it didn't seem real. He'd been told which house he'd be in, of course. It wasn't a secret growing up that the Black family was in Slytherin. Sirius didn't suppose he'd mind being in Slytherin; he was his family's heir after all. What choice did he have in the matter really? Slytherin was in his blood.

Nevertheless, Sirius had allowed himself to entertain the notion of perhaps being sorted into another house. He was different – somehow - from his family; he had always been certain of that. Regulus had laughed at Sirius when he'd mentioned it, telling him that Sirius was only different because he told himself he was so. Maybe that was true, but if it was, Sirius didn't like thinking of it. He wanted to be different than the people he'd known – and disliked – all his life. The world was full of harsh unforgiving people, and he didn't expect school to be any different – _but I don't have to be like them._

Sirius didn't have a particular house he wanted to be in rather than Slytherin. In fact, other than the names, he knew very little about the other houses. Nor did he have any significant opposition to being sorted into Slytherin – which was wise, he told himself, because that was likely where he would end up – save for the fact that all of his cousins, and all of his parents' friends' children, were in Slytherin. If he was going to be different and meet new people – people who might be slightly less unenjoyable to be around – then he couldn't be in Slytherin. Slytherin would be more of the same, and Sirius Black wanted anything but more of the same.

It was so early that, for once, Sirius was able to lay in bed doing nothing. There would be no lessons from any of his tutors today. There would be no social event to dress up and put on a smile for this evening. Not even a formal lunch this afternoon with his parents. No. Today, was the day he'd get to wear his brand new school robes, board a train on his own, and go to Hogwarts. His stomach somersaulted with joy.

Sirius didn't keep track of how long he'd lain in bed daydreaming for, but it must have been nearly an hour. He was jostled back to reality by the sound of a pop as his family's main house elf appeared near his bed; his mind's vision of himself surrounded by new faceless friends faded to the back of his mind. Sirius instantly frowned; he hated that Kreacher never knocked. Kreacher only came into Sirius' room when it was on his parents' orders, and orders apparently could never be delayed by knocking.

The hook-nosed elf bowed low, seeing instantly that Sirius was – for once – already awake.

"Young master, you is expected in the breakfast room at seven-thirty" Kreacher told him in a wheezy voice. Usually, his family took breakfast at eight, but with the train leaving at eleven o'clock, his mother must have wanted to make breakfast earlier.

"Alright" Sirius said happily, hopping out of bed. The elf bowed again and was gone; Sirius was sure that he was getting Regulus up now. Sirius quickly dressed in the dress robes that his mother had instructed the night before; she permitted neither he nor Regulus to ever choose their own clothes. He slipped on a pair of black leather shoes to match, and exited into the hall.

Regulus and Sirius shared the top floor of the house. The lavatory was across from Sirius' bedroom and to the left of Regulus' room. Regulus opened his door only a moment after Sirius. Regulus looked across the way at him, appearing every bit a miniature version of Sirius - save for the slightly shorter hair, lesser height, and cream-colored robes.

"Morning" Regulus mumbled sleepily, and Sirius could tell from his hoarse voice that Regulus' spirits hadn't improved much since the night before. His brother had not been looking forward to Sirius leaving him there alone.

"Morning, Reg" Sirius replied, forcing a smile as the guilt from the night before poured through him again. When they had eventually gone to bed, Sirius had thought that he'd calmed Regulus down enough about the whole situation, but now his brother looked almost more upset than he had the evening prior. Regulus smiled back – for his sake, Sirius knew – but, the gesture was clearly forced. Regulus shivered and wrapped his own arms around his torso as if he were hugging himself; it wasn't an unfamiliar action for him.

"You can go first, Siri. I know you must want to be ready as soon as possible today."

"Thanks" Sirius replied, trying not to sound too cheerful about leaving.

Not long after that, the two headed down the many staircases to the breakfast room together. Breakfast, despite the occasion, was the usual silent formal affair. Sirius didn't even care. He kept smiling into his teacup, and he even rocked around a little in his seat to get out some of his excited energy. To his surprise, neither of his parents scolded him for being childish at the table, which would have been carried out instantly under normal circumstances. It wasn't until his uncharacteristic table manners made Regulus giggle that his mother told him he had to stop.

"Enough of that ridiculous behavior, Sirius" she'd said in a very harsh tone.

Any other day he would have been intensely apologetic. Any other day he would have felt guilty. Any other day he would have feared the repercussions of displeasing his mother. Yet, today was not like any other day. He was leaving the house in three hours, so Sirius was fairly confident that neither of his parents would do anything to punish him.

Regulus and Sirius met eyes across the table, heads bent.

"Sorry" Regulus mouthed silently with complete discretion. Sirius smirked back, giving him a 'not-a-big-deal' look as best he could without being obvious – just in case either of their parents were looking.

Regulus still looked like he was feeling guilty though; whenever he upset anyone else – despite how minor the infraction – Regulus had always taken it to be a personal flaw in himself. Thus, Regulus was always trying to please everyone – an impossible task when living with Walburga and Orion Black. Sirius quickly moved his eyes to each end of the table to check that neither of his parents were looking, and then he made a silly face at his brother. Regulus smiled and quickly shut his eyes so he wouldn't laugh.

"I'm leaving for Milan shortly" his mother informed her husband across the length of the six-foot table when the hour-long meal had ended.

 _So breakfast was served early because she is leaving rather than because I'm leaving. …It doesn't really matter_ , he told himself. She turned to look at Regulus, who naturally stiffened under her scrutinizing gaze.

"You will behave for your father for the week that I'm gone." It wasn't even an order; it was a threat. It wasn't necessary; Regulus would never dare to do anything wrong on purpose.

"I will, Mother. I hope you have a nice trip." Regulus answered, managing to mask how despondent Sirius knew that he was feeling.

Their mother hadn't told them about her trip. She often traveled to various high-fashion cities, but Sirius and Regulus usually welcomed her absence. Their father was way more lenient than she was with them. Orion usually let Sirius and Regulus go about their day as they wished, so long as they attended their lessons and behaved for their tutors. Walburga on the other hand, preferred to keep a constant eye on everything they did, all the while mercilessly critiquing their every move and word. Yet, this time their mother left, Sirius would not be there for company for Regulus. Their father did not have even the slightest interest in his younger son, and he usually chose to ignore Regulus. Orion felt he had an obligation to speak to Sirius; he was Orion's first-born son and he had to teach him how to be a proper heir.

"Sirius" his mother said, turning her dark grey-eyes onto him next, and jolting him from his worried thoughts. Her words came out cold. "You will behave at school. You will not associate yourself with anyone we have not already put your in contact with. I'm sure that school is crawling with filthy mudbloods. Do not embarrass us."

"Yes, Mother" Sirius said respectfully, careful to sit up as straight as possible so that she would not complain.

"Your father will escort you to the train. You are both dismissed."

Two games of chess later – both of which Regulus won – Kreacher was back in Sirius' bedroom to collect his trunk and inform him that his father wanted him downstairs to leave. In the winged-back chair across from him, Regulus' grey eyes filled with tears.

"Reg" Sirius said. He was torn between exhilaration over going to school and guilt over leaving Regulus to what was sure to be months of near solitude. Regulus wiped his eyes and collected himself quickly as he stood up.

"Sorry" he said in a strained voice. "I'm happy for you, Siri. Really. I hope you h-have the best time at school."

Sirius didn't know what to say that he hadn't already said the night before, so he only nodded back as they left the room and went to meet their father by the door on the first floor. He was grateful that Regulus hadn't deferred to last night's method of begging Sirius to take him with him in his trunk. Their father, a broad-shouldered, muscular man of 6'5'', stood in the dimly lit hall beside Sirius' new monogrammed school trunk. His towering frame was made even more intimidating by the way he looked at, and spoke to, everyone as if they were worlds beneath him.

"Come. It's time to go." Their parents almost always used commands when they spoke: come, sit, speak, silence. Sirius assumed it was a parent thing; he and Regulus certainly didn't talk that way to one another.

Sirius hesitated. He could sense Regulus' fear beside him. He knew that Regulus wanted to come with them to say good-bye, and to post-pone his inevitable solitude, but that he'd never dare to ask their father for anything.

"Can Regulus come too, Father?" Sirius requested hopefully. There was a second's pause, before:

"Fine." Orion took the two of them, and Sirius' trunk, by side-along apparation. They arrived directly on the platform. Both boys looked around, trying to quickly take in the new surroundings. There were so many people around. Families with students of all ages were saying their last farewells before the first term. Orion reached into his pocket and pulled out a cream-colored ticket, glistening with gold lettering. He handed it to Sirius.

 _This is it. I'm finally leaving for school._

"Do not lose it." His father told him sternly as they made their way over to a small group of familiars. Sirius' Uncle Cygnus stood with two of his daughters, Bellatrix and Narcissa, grinning down at him as they approached.

"The day has finally come, Sirius" he said. His Uncle Cygnus had always been friendlier than his own father.

"Yes it has, Uncle" Sirius replied with an excited grin. He wanted to get on the train, not stand there talking to the same people he'd stood talking to on countless occasions for his whole life.

"I trust you two will help to keep an eye on him" his father said to his two nieces.

"Of course, Uncle Orion" Bellatrix said in a sickeningly sweet voice. She and Narcissa both looked very expensive in their new dresses. Sirius' mother's side of the family always dressed in the height of the latest fashion. Bellatrix looked down at Sirius. "I'll guard him with my life." Sirius narrowed his eyes at her, knowing perfectly well that she loathed him just as much as he despised her; that had been made explicitly clear years ago.

Orion, Cygnus, and Bellatrix exchanged casual conversation for another fifteen minutes or so while Narcissa stood looking like she'd rather be somewhere else with her friends, and Sirius and Regulus stared at the other people on the platform. At last, after Bellatrix politely mentioned that they should be going, they parted ways. His father carried his trunk in one hand over to one of the doors of the train and lifted it on board. Sirius stepped up onto the train as well and turned back to them.

"You will really enjoy Slytherin house. Make us proud." His father said in farewell. Orion Black was not the type of man to get emotional about anything, but he was speaking more amicably than usual. _Perhaps he'll miss me. …Of course he will._

"I will, Father" he replied. Sirius turned to look at his brother. "Bye, Reg. Be good." He could only say so much with their father standing right there, but he had already told Regulus the night before: _"Just behave and they'll leave you be."_ Regulus would be okay as long as he didn't do anything to upset them.

"I will" Regulus muttered. "H-have fun at-"

"Do not stutter" Orion interrupted impatiently, seizing the top of Regulus' arm roughly. Regulus took a moment to calm his nerves before saying,

"I'm sorry, Father." Orion released his arm and Regulus looked wearily back up at Sirius, who was now wishing that he could postpone his start date by a year so that Regulus would never have to be alone with their parents. Regulus read his worried expression easily.

"Have fun at school, Sirius." His brother's big eyes darted instinctively up at their father for a moment and then back up at him. "I'll be fine." Regulus forced a smile that didn't reach his eyes. Sirius' heart sunk. Part of him wanted to get off the train and… well…there really was nothing he could do. He had to go to school whether he wanted to or not. His father had a firm but awkward hold on Regulus' arm again.

"We're leaving now, Sirius" he told him.

 _Wait!_ He couldn't tell his father to wait; that wouldn't go over well. But this was **Regulus** who he was being parted from. Regulus, who he'd never spent a day away from since he'd been born. Regulus, who was the only friend he'd ever had. Regulus, who Sirius was leaving sad, frightened, and unprotected. He abandoned all sense of restraint and let the words flow from him again, directed at Regulus in a panicked rush.

"You'll be alright. Just be good. I'll be home for break and I'll see you then. You'll be alright, Reg. I-"

"Silence" Orion spoke with a firmness that commanded respect even with his low tone. "I expect good marks." Without another word, he disapparated on the spot, taking Regulus with him.

Sirius stood in the doorway, staring at the place where his brother had just been standing, feeling much less excited about school than he had been feeling that morning.

 _I'll write to him tonight. Make sure he's okay…_ The air around him felt chillier now; he hadn't noticed it before. Sirius looked out at the platform, taking it all in, and trying to make himself excited again.

A boy with oily black hair and a very prominent hooked nose was coming nearer to his door of the train, dragging his trunk behind him. He appeared to be struggling with the weight of the worn-looking trunk, but it didn't really occur to Sirius to help him. When he got to the door, the boy attempted to get his trunk onboard despite the fact that there was not enough room with Sirius' trunk still blocking most of the doorway. Instead of asking Sirius to move his own trunk over, the boy – who looked young enough to be a first-year as well – just kept awkwardly trying to shove his trunk onto the train.

 _This one must be a muggle-born. Dirty hair and evidently stupid._

Sirius decided he'd take pity on him and move his own trunk over. As he did so, the boy glared up at him. _It's not my fault you can't judge what size objects fit into what size spaces._ Sirius was un-phased, being used to glares from much more intimidating figures than this wiry-limbed boy. The greasy-haired boy managed to get his trunk on board the train now, and he stepped across the gap himself. His movements were somewhat twitchy. Sirius watched him with curiosity. Surely this had to be a muggle-born if ever there was one.

"What are you staring at?" the boy asked, sounding a little nervous.

"You, obviously" Sirius replied matter-of-factly. The other boy looked at him with a sort of surprised look.

"Don't" he said firmly, and then he turned away from him and started pushing his trunk down the narrow corridor to the right.

Sirius' curiosity was returning to him now. There was nothing he could do about having to leave Regulus at home, so he had to attempt to make the most of being on his own for the first time ever. He pulled out his wand and aimed it at his trunk. _How do the muggle-borns function without learning magic until they come to school?_

"Wingardium Leviosa." The trunk lifted a few inches off of the ground and he floated it along in front of him as he took off down the opposite side of the train. He didn't want to sit with his cousins or his parents' friends' children, but that was who he'd been instructed to sit amongst. With a sigh, he made his way down the corridor, looking in each compartment as he passed to try and find people he knew.

Six compartments away, he came to one filled with familiars. Bellatrix and his second cousins, Rodolphus and Rabastan, were inside seated amongst two people he didn't know. Still, he knew that if Bellatrix was sharing a compartment with them, they were okay for him to associate with. Sirius paused in the doorway.

"Look who it is!" Rodolphus, the tall dark-haired fifth-year, said loudly in a rather sneering voice. Sirius had never liked him. Sirius wasn't going to ask if he could sit with them; he knew that, as the Black heir, he was above them, even if he was younger than all of them. Thus, he floated his trunk up to the rack and then sat down beside Rabastan in the closest seat to him.

"Just invite yourself in, why don't you?" said the boy he didn't know.

"Antonin" Bellatrix tutted in yet another one of her ingenuine voices, "that's no way to speak to the heir of my family."

The boy, Antonin, looked him over judgmentally. Sirius stared back at him coolly, trying his best to look aloof.

"Are you going to introduce us to your cousin then, Bella?" asked the girl he didn't know. Bellatrix scoffed; clearly she thought the task of introductions to be beneath her. Rodolphus rolled his eyes with disdain.

"Sirius Black, Emma Vanity. Antonin Dolohov, Sirius Black. There, we're done."

"And here I thought you Lestrange's were raised to have manners" the girl - Emma -said disapprovingly.

"I don't see any adults around here, Vanity" Rodolphus replied with a look of dislike towards her on clearly his face. "If you want to pretend like we're at a gala, go find a different compartment. Narcissa always likes to pretend like she's under scrutiny; go sit with her."

Emma scoffed, and Bellatrix smirked. The comments between the four of them continued; it was the usual disdainful speech Sirius was used to – people who did not enjoy one another's company, but that elected to remain in each other's presence nonetheless. The train left the station with little ceremony. Several parents remained on the platform waving to the train as it passed, but no one in his compartment turned to look out the window.

After nearly twenty minutes of sitting in bored silence, Rabastan turned to him.

"So, excited for school?" Rabastan asked in a manner that was almost friendly.

 _Not if this is any indication of how my time is going to be spent._ He could just imagine how much he'd hate living with these people – and a bunch more just like them – in Slytherin house. _The endless pointless arguments…_

"Yes, I suppose," Sirius replied, "as long as it's not like this all the time."

"It's not" Rabastan said quickly. "It's a lot different than being home. You'll see. It takes some getting used to, but it's not bad."

"Right" Sirius said dismissively; he couldn't help it. He'd been so excited to get on this train and now here he was subjected to listening to pointless bickering and forcing conversation with Rabastan. Rabastan took the hint, and went back to staring idly out the window.

Rabastan was only a year older than Sirius was, but the two had never really gotten along. There was just something about him that Sirius didn't like, though he couldn't quite place it. Perhaps it was just how much Rabastan reminded him of Rodolphus, and Rodolphus was so unlikable. Regulus had always gotten along with Rabastan rather well; though, Regulus tended to get along with all of their cousins better than Sirius did. Regulus was always so desperate for everyone's approval that he rarely argued back at them the way Sirius did, not to mention the fact that they all seemed to think of Regulus as the baby of the family.

After about ten minutes, Rabastan tried again. Sirius wasn't really sure why his cousin was trying to make conversation with him, because he had never done so before. _Merlin knows he had plenty of golden opportunities to do so._

"I'm sure you'll like Slytherin."

"Are you?" Sirius asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. _Because I'm quite certain that I will not at this point._ Rabastan's large blue eyes looked confused.

"Yes." He replied icily, clearly offended by Sirius' rudeness.

"Well, I'm not."

"Where do you think you're going?" Bellatrix asked as Sirius stood up and opened the compartment door.

 _Away from all of you._

"I'm getting some air." With that, he exited into the hall, shutting the door behind him before any of them could protest. Sirius passed a few closed compartments before coming upon one that appeared to be empty. _Sitting alone isn't technically disobeying._ Inside, he noticed that there was an expensive wooden trunk on the rack above; it had the monogrammed initials J.H.P. in gold.

 _At least I'm away from their quarreling. …For now._ He found himself questioning again if Slytherin was really the right place for him. He tried to think of what Regulus would say, but his thoughts were interrupted by the glass door of the compartment slamming open and a loud laugh filling the area.

 **(James Potter)**

James Potter returned to his compartment to find that it was no longer unoccupied. A boy with long dark hair, who looked about his age, was seated by the window. For a split-second, the two simply stared at each other.

"Hi" James said brightly as he climbed onto the seat across from the other boy and stood to try and get into his trunk.

"Hi" the other boy said back, a little condescendingly, but James didn't notice.

 _Aha! Here it is!_ With considerable effort, he pulled out the professional Magpie's jersey out of his trunk. He hadn't bothered to unclasp all of the buckles, so he had to yank the shirt out the last bit. Delighted that he'd found the jersey and that he could now go back and show it off to Frank and his dorm-mates, James jumped down to the floor and made for the door.

He had one hand on the door before he decided to give a quick second glance to the boy sitting by the window. _He's sitting alone…_ James took in the situation. He knew what it was like to sit alone, feeling left out, while other people had fun around you.

James had always had a bit of a rough time making friends; or rather, a difficult time keeping friends. Frank Longbottom, who James had known his entire life as a result of his and Frank's parents being close friends, was his only true friend. James had always tried to be friendly and inclusive to the new people he met, but it never worked out for him for long. Ever since he was young, he had expressed a strong desire to play professional Quidditch; thus, his parents had signed him up for every possible conditioning camp and training session they could. James loved going to the camps, because there was nothing he loved to do more than fly on a broomstick. There were numerous other boys and girls his own age training there as well, all equally as hopeful to become professional players one day as he was. Yet, the nature of the camps was competitive; not everyone would succeed and move on to the next (even more competitive) camp. Furthermore, scouts would come to view the young flyers and assess whether or not they possessed the skills to be invited to play on their small pre-professional teams.

James had always been chosen. He had always tended to move up in skill levels faster than the other children. He had always been first or second to be asked to play in a special match for other kids like himself who were training around the country. As an unfortunate result, many of James' "friends" had stopped wanting to be friends with him. There had been so many over the years. Boys who would visit his house and play would one day begin declining any invitation he sent to them. Boys who would joke around with him at practice, who would then switch to blatantly ignoring him after he was invited to play in a particular match that they were not. Boys who got jealous of the trainers telling the others to "do it the way James just did", and who would do all they could to leave him out of things.

It wasn't his fault that he was great at Quidditch. He was never mean to any of them, and he never tried to be boastful. When they flat out asked him if the scout that came had invited him to play, was he supposed to lie and say "no"? Lately he'd taken to hardly trying to be friends with the other kids at camps at all; it was much easier to tell himself that they didn't like him because he was the best rather than to worry that it might be something personal. Maybe that made him come off as arrogant, but to be honest he didn't care. His father had told him that he needed to build up his defenses a little bit, and so he had. He was done with letting himself get so upset over other people.

Thus, other than Frank Longbottom, who James liked very much, James had always had a challenging time keeping friends. Before leaving for school, his mother had kindly told him "James, try to make friends who don't play Quidditch too", and it had been slightly insulting to hear, but he had known that she was only trying to help him make friends.

He'd sat with Frank, who was in his third year, on the train of course, but all of Frank's dorm-mates were very into Quidditch. Frank didn't have more than a casual interest in watching a match now and then, but four of his five dorm-mates were on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Thomas Wood, who played keeper, Fabian and Gideon Prewett, who were beaters, and Tarquin Arostas, who was a chaser, all seemed friendly and nice …but James knew how quickly that could change. Aerie Guilles, the last of his roommates, even said he was planning to try out for seeker next year when the team's current seeker graduated. _I'm not off to a good start at making non-Quidditch-playing friends._

James hesitated, wondering for a moment if he should invite this boy to come and sit with them. He wasn't sure. _Frank won't mind; I know that. But…_ He didn't really know Frank's dorm-mates. Would they mind if he invited another first year into their compartment? James didn't even know this other boy. _What if he's mean and I invite him?_ Still… from his experience, it wasn't usually the mean people who ended up sitting alone.

"Er…are you sitting here alone?" James asked awkwardly. Having been raised as the only child of elderly parents, he had never had the smoothest social skills compared to a lot of kids his own age.

The other boy turned from the window to look at him with a rather contemptuous look on his face. He had very noticeable eyes – a very light-grey. He was giving James a look that blatantly, and rather aggressively, said 'are you really asking that stupid question'. Without responding, he turned back to looking out the window.

 _Okay then…_ James thought uncertainly.

"D'you like the Montrose Magpies?" James asked, deciding to make one more attempt. The grey-eyed boy turned his head back to face James, who was still standing just inside the doorway.

"They're decent" he commented, his tone exuberating entitled authority.

 _Decent?! They're the best!_

"I got to meet the team a couple of months ago," James informed him, "and the coach signed my jersey. The team all signed a quaffle I have, but my Dad said I couldn't bring it to school."

The boy broke into what looked like a reluctant smile.

"That is impressive" he agreed. "The Falmouth Falcons are the best though."

" **What**?" James laughed, taking another step inside and plopping down on the bench across from the boy. He never missed an opportunity to outline why the Magpies were the best. " **No**. They're **alright** , but ever since they lost the Broadmoor brothers they've gone downhill." The other boy cracked a guilty smirk.

"Well… yeah. But, they were the best. I'm still holding out for them to recruit some more players that are just like them."

"But, they've already filled their positions, and the new guys are decent but they're no Kevin and Karl. They've lost their last three matches. You should pick a new team."

"No way. I'm a loyal fan. I'm not going to switch teams just because they got two new players."

 _How strange._ James' favorite team switched fairly regularly based on the latest statistics. He learned everything he could about each team and kept up to date on it, so that he could pick which team he thought was the best. It had nothing to do with being loyal to a team; the best was changing constantly, and whichever team was currently the best was his favorite.

The two discussed Quidditch for quite a while until they were interrupted by a plump witch pushing a trolley cart full of assorted candy.

"Anything off of the trolley, dears?" she asked smiling from underneath a small pink pointed hat. James was just about to say 'yes please' when his compartment-mate answered.

"I'll have a chocolate frog and a pumpkin juice." James and the trolley witch stared at him for a moment, waiting for him to get up and get his order. It was a fairly obvious process, yet he sat there as if he expected her to bring it to him.

After a pause, James stood up and walked over to her, wondering what in the world that other boy was thinking.

"I'll have three chocolate frogs, please. D'you have any fudge?"

"Sorry, dear. Just what you see." James gave a slight shrug, and smiled at her.

"It's fine. I've got some in my trunk, but I didn't want to have to dig it out. Just the frogs then."

"Ten knuts then, dear." James pulled out a galleon from his pocket and held it out to her.

"I don't have that much change on me. See if you have something else."

James fished around in his pocket, knowing perfectly well that he didn't have any knuts on him. He usually always told people to "keep the change" when it came to knuts.

"Aha!" he said, pulling out the one sickle he had in his pocket. It had been buried beneath the galleons, but he'd gotten it back as change when he'd bought his pranking supplies at Zonko's. His mother had made him use his allowance money to buy the Zonko's products, because she "wasn't about to endorse mischief, so he'd have to manage his mischief on his own galleon". Not that it made much difference – his allowance money was from his parents anyway; he'd told her as much, but she'd just grinned and said "don't remind me".

While he'd dug around in his pocket, the other boy had finally stood up and stepped over to them. James noticed that he was a few inches taller than James was.

"Keep the change on that" James told the trolley witch, carefully selecting his two frogs. _Never know which card you're going to get. Have to choose carefully!_

"There's seven knuts change, dear. Why don't you take another frog and then a sugar quill or an ice mice? That way you'll get your money's worth."

 _Oh yeah, hadn't thought of that._

"Okay" James shrugged, picking out another frog and grabbing an ice mice. He returned to his seat and watched as the other boy took the pumpkin juice bottle she handed him.

"Would you like to pick your frog, dear?"

"Aren't they all the same?" he asked.

"Well the cards are different in each one."

"Right, but it's not like I can see which card I'm picking, so really it makes no difference which frog I get." He replied rather impudently. The trolley witch raised her eyebrows at him, but she was still smiling.

"Of course, dear." She picked up a frog and handed it to him. "That'll be 8 knuts."

"I only have galleons too" he told her matter-of-factly. "I'll sign for it."

There were few people in wizarding society that could sign their names with credit that what they were buying would be paid for directly from their vault. There was a whole drawn-out process in order to be registered as someone who could simply sign their name and be taken at their word that they would pay. It was a rather antiquated system, mostly because of the harsh antiquated consequences of not having the money to pay already in your vault for the taking at the time of the purchase. Nowadays, it was only very old wealthy families that ever signed for anything, and even that was rare.

Most people in wizarding society carried the money they'd need with them and then purchased things directly. James' parents were two of the people who were able to sign their names for credit; it was a binding magical signature that assured the money was in their vault and that they authorized permission for the amount to be moved to the vault it was owed to. If anyone ever signed their name and the money wasn't available, they'd be liable for all kinds of fines, not to mention that the contract had magical repercussions for lying – and mistakes - as well. James' parents had the money, but they never allowed him to magically sign for anything. He didn't know of any kids that were allowed to do so.

"Sign for it?" she asked, disbelievingly. "Honey, this is a train trolley. We don't take signatures here. And… you're a bit young to be signing into such contracts, aren't you?" He reached into his pocket and handed her the galleon.

"Keep the change." She pressed him to buy more, but he refused, so she ended up emptying out her change pouch into his hands. She refused to leave without making him take as much of his change as she could give him.

"I don't want to carry all this" he complained as she left. He dumped the pile of coins onto the bench seat. "You want this or else I'm just going to leave it here?"

James shrugged.

"D'your parents really let you sign?"

"Yes."

"My parents never let me sign…. Hey, what card d'you get?"

"Oh, I didn't look" Sirius said, reaching for his chocolate frog box with his chocolate-frog-free hand. "Morgana."

"Too bad" James frowned. "They've got a lousy variety here. I got two Morgana's and a Merlin."

"Good thing you spent all that time picking out your special frogs" he replied sarcastically. James laughed and made a face at him.

"Yeah, yeah. So what's your name, mate?" _We've been talking for nearly an hour and don't even know your name._

"Sirius Black." He said his surname very proudly. James recognized the name. His family was in the paper a lot – in the Who's Who Weekly section. James never read the paper for more than scanning for the word 'Quidditch', but Black was a household name nonetheless. They were one of the oldest wizarding families in Britain.

"'Sirius'" James asked, grinning. "As in the word 'serious'? That's unfortunate, mate."

Sirius' wide grin returned and he coolly ran a hand through his dark thick hair. _Wish my hair would do that. Or at least lay flat._

"It's the brightest star in Canis Major. Or haven't you heard of it? What's your name then?"

"James Potter."

"Potter…I recognize that name. You're a first-year as well, right?"

"Yeah."

The train gave a particularly massive lurch, and some of the money slid onto the floor with a series of clinks. Sirius looked up to face the ceiling with a sigh.

"Merlin" he groaned. "This is **why** people don't take change." It was so utterly over-dramatic in regard to a few coins falling onto the floor that James couldn't help laughing at him. "What're you laughing at?"

"D'you think you're over-reacting about the coins falling? Just maybe?" James teased. Sirius stared at him with narrowed eyes for a moment, and then he broke out into a barking laugh.

"Maybe" he nodded through his laughter.

They joked and laughed while eating their candy for a while longer as the train made its way out of England. James did end up breaking down and getting out his fudge when he dug around in his trunk to find his Zonko products to show Sirius. How someone could have walked by Zonko's Joke Shop and never gone inside was a mystery to James. Sirius ogled over the packages of colorfully-wrapped joke products that James had brought.

"You're going to use these on people?" Sirius asked in elated bewilderment.

"Yeah, of course. Anyone who annoys me or is mean. Or anyone who it'd just be really funny."

"Like on the muggle-borns" Sirius commented.

James froze.

"What?" James asked cautiously. Sirius seemed to instantly pick up on his discomfort as well, and he looked apprehensive.

"'Potter' is a pureblood name, is it not?"

"It is…" James said slowly. But we aren't into that whole purebloods rule mania. We're normal."

At this, Sirius looked even more shocked and now also a bit confused.

"What do you mean 'normal'?" he asked, suddenly on the defense.

"Normal as in we don't judge a person's worth based on their blood. Blood is just blood."

James was starting to get nervous; he had liked Sirius Black. He was fun and funny, and had similar interests. But if he was prejudiced against muggle-borns and judged people based on their blood status, James knew he wouldn't be able to overlook that in a friend. He couldn't be friends with someone who thought that way towards other people.

Sirius was staring at James very intently, but his grey-eyed gaze was unfocused, and James could tell that he was thinking very intensely. When Sirius spoke again, some of the smugness in his tone was gone, and he sounded genuinely interested.

"You mean to say that even though your family's pureblood, you all don't think that makes you any…different…than the half-bloods and the mu- muggle-borns?" James stiffened. _Did he almost just say 'mudbloods'?_

"Yes, of course." James would have been angrier at such a stupid question if it had not been for the fact that it was asked in a manner that was so very sincere. _He's really asking._ "It's only a few families that think otherwise because they like to feel important. …No offense." He added, realizing quickly that Sirius' family was obviously one of those families. Sirius's expression was not easily readable, but James guessed it was the look of one having an epiphany.

"I don't buy it." _Or maybe not an epiphany._ "Nor do I think that everyone else thinks there's no difference either." Sirius added matter-of-factly. "Are you sure that's not just a Potter thing?"

James raised his eyebrows. _Is he serious? Is he really that daft? That out of touch with reality. The Black family…wow. Mum hinted it was like that, but wow. His quaffle isn't even close to the rings._

"I'm quite positive" he said firmly.

Sirius Black took this in for a moment. Then he cocked his head to the side and cracked a grin that told James he didn't believe him but was humoring him, and shrugged acceptingly. There was a very long silence after that. James had no idea what to say. The train had made its way out of London by now, and James starred out the window at the changing landscape. _Great. Of all the people on this train, I had to get stuck in a compartment with this prejudiced kid who doesn't even realize he's bigoted._

He half-wanted to head back over to Frank's compartment. _Merlin, I told them I was coming back and everything._ He'd gotten so caught up talking with Sirius that he'd completely forgotten about Frank's compartment.

"So…" Sirius said after a good fifteen minutes of both of them quietly staring out the window. He seemed to feel like the situation was less awkward than James did. "I can't wait for the sorting. You?"

"Yeah" James replied flatly. Then, deciding that he'd rather not spend the rest of the journey in silence, he added, "What house are you aiming for?"

"I don't really care" Sirius answered with a small shrug. _What? How could you not care?_ "I'll probably be in Slytherin though. My whole family has always been in Slytherin. You?"

"Gryffindor" James replied brightening up a bit at the prospect. His father had been a Gryffindor, and James had had his heart set on that house ever since he could say the word 'Hogwarts'. "Has your whole family really been in just one house?"

"Yeah." His tone was lazy as he looked over at James with startlingly light-grey eyes. There weren't many people with eyes like that. "Slytherin, the whole lot of them."

 _Yuck_ James thought. He knew enough about Hogwarts already to know that the pureblood families in Slytherin tended to be the ones who thought muggle-borns were no different than muggles. _Which seems to be the case with Sirius as well_ , he thought begrudgingly.

"I…" Sirius cut himself short, looking pointedly out the window at nothing.

"What?" James asked curiously.

"Nothing, it's stupid. Never-mind." He muttered, shaking his head.

"Oh, come on" James pressed, "just come out with it." Sirius rolled his eyes and kept looking out the window instead of at James.

"I just think I might be different than them; that's all."

"Okay. …Is that a big deal?"

Sirius shifted rather uncomfortably in his seat.

"I know a lot of the Slytherins that are here already, and I don't really like them, so I hope I don't get that house." He looked back at James. "But I'm supposed to be in Slytherin." He shrugged again.

"Supposed to be in Slytherin? You're not supposed to be anywhere except where the hat puts you. At least that's what I always thought. Though, if it doesn't put me in Gryffindor, I don't know what I'll do. But, you don't even want Slytherin, so who cares if you don't get put there?"

"Yeah…" Sirius mused softly. "I guess it doesn't matter. Even if I do get Slytherin with all my cousins, I'll just choose to have nothing to do with them." He gave a devilish smirk.

James gave him a quizzical look. He thought that that seemed a little extreme. James didn't have any cousins of his own, but if he'd had some, he assumed he would have liked them.

"So why Gryffindor?" Sirius Black was now fidgeting with his wand lazily. _Is he honestly asking that question?_

"Why Gryffindor?" James tried to keep from laughing. "House of the brave and chivalrous! It's only the very best house. Everyone knows that." Sirius made an unimpressed face without bothering to look away from his wand, which he was now holding horizontally with one finger at each end.

"Well I'm pretty sure Slytherin's the best house." Sirius answered and James had the distinct impression that there was no 'pretty' before the 'sure' in the boy's mind.

"Are you mad? Slytherin's the worst house!" James burst before he could filter himself. _Oops, his whole family is in Slytherin._ "Well, maybe second worst after Hufflepuff. I mean, my mum was in Slytherin so I can only knock it so bad, but it's at least third." James offered.

"You're the one who's cracked." Sirius' tone was almost defensive, but he maintained a manner of speaking that implied that he thought he knew more than James. "I mean I may not want Slytherin, but it is the best house. Everyone I know says it's the best by far."

"Well everyone you know must be daft or else evil. Even my mum says that Slytherin House puts out more dark witches and wizards than any other."

"So? That doesn't make them all like that. You said your own mum was in Slytherin. Most of the Sacred Twenty-Eight have been in Slytherin, so that says something for its quality right there doesn't it?" _It's_ ** _quality_** _? What is wrong with you?_

"Yeah, it says that it's filled with pureblood elitists who clearly have their priorities out of whack and need to head on down back to Earth. Much like yourself I might add."

This shut the other boy up for nearly a minute. He looked so incredibly taken aback by James' assertion and sudden passion that James wondered if he had gone too far and truly offended Sirius beyond the point of return. 'Black', after all, was one of the families in the Sacred Twenty-Eight. And whether he wanted Slytherin or not, Sirius Black clearly thought that having a traceable pure lineage was important. James had just insulted his entire family and their – albeit prejudiced – beliefs.

"I'm sorry" James confessed. Sirius just stared at him, looking unsure of whether he should be furious or not. He certainly looked insulted; however, he also appeared to be very confused. James waited anxiously to see how the other boy would react; James had never been the most tactful person. At last, Sirius took a deep breath and replied.

"Let's just not talk about our families or about school houses. Let's just go back to talking about the joke products and Quidditch." He sounded uncertain himself, but James couldn't understand exactly why.

Relief spread through him. He was – for the most part – being forgiven. He didn't want to question it.

"Alright" James nodded. "I'll… I'll tell you about a prank I have planned using this one." He held up a teal and lime-green striped box that contained a dung bomb. Sirius' wide grin returned.


	3. Chapter 2: Nature Vs Nurture

**(Sirius Black)**

Sirius' hands were shoved into his pant pockets as he approached the small wooden stool. His mother hated it when he put his hands in his pockets; _she isn't here_ , he reminded himself _._ It made him feel better to have his hands hidden; no one could see that they were clenched into tight nervous fists. He was careful to keep his expression blank as well; he was Sirius Black after all, and he had to appear confident and at ease.

Sirius turned and sat on the stool. He was tall for his age, but his feet didn't quite reach the ground; he pressed them up against the front two legs of the bench rather than let them hang. He barely had a chance to register the view of the Great Hall from this opposite vantage point before the black sorting hat was placed on his head and all he could see was the dark interior of the worn hat.

 _Ah! Another Black! The heir. Hmm… hmm…_ The sudden unfamiliar voice in his head caught him off guard. _I could put you in your family's house. You're clever, you know… and ambitious. You could do well in Slytherin._

Sirius' heart sunk a little. It wasn't until now, as he sat on the stool to be sorted, that he realized that he could get the truth from this hat. It would know for sure whether or not he was different than his family. He wanted the hat to judge him for who he was rather than put him in a house simply because of his last name.

 _No wait!_ He thought to the hat, not even sure if such a method of communication would work. _Is that_ … _is that really where I belong?_

 _You don't want your family's house? Well that is interesting... You are unusual for a Black… very peculiar._

 _I'm… different. I'm not like them. Isn't there another house I'd do well in? I don't want to be with them._

 _Yes, I can detect the dissimilarities; yes. You seek something else from your house. You're more daring than those that came before you. And there's bravery in you…oh yes. You've proven that. ...There is a better house for you. If you're sure?_

 _Just put me where's best… Best for who I am. Not just because I'm a Black. If that's Slytherin, then fine; but I don't want to be in it just because I'm a Black._

 _Well then, you are definitely a_ GRYFFINDOR!

His heart soared. He'd been officially sorted, and he was not in Slytherin. _It agreed with me. I am different than them._ He smiled in amazement. _I was right! Though_ , Sirius thought a bit uneasily, _the hat had very nearly put me there._

The hall was silent; even the Gryffindor table had was temporarily void of applause due to the shock. A Black, the first-in-line heir no less, had not been sorted into Slytherin. Sirius' brief moment of joy at being rebellious faded quickly as he glanced over at the Slytherin table. His cousins were staring at him, dumbstruck with shock that the hat had not called out the name of their own house. The rest of the table was almost glaring, as if Gryffindor had stolen their pureblood prize. He felt his stomach churn; perhaps getting out from under them would have more consequences than he had originally thought. The school did seem to be divided into four very clearly defined sections.

"Move along" came the professor's voice beside him as he was shooed away from the stool. He'd been staring at the Slytherin table transfixed upon his relatives' stunned and accusatory faces for too long. Sirius took his seat at the Gryffindor table beside a girl with short brown hair and bright blue eyes. She looked only a couple years older than him, and she smiled at him warmly.

"Welcome to Gryffindor." She said loudly over the latest round of applause. "I'm Alice." Grateful for a friendly face, Sirius outstretched his right hand and offered a handshake, which she accepted.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Alice. My name is Sirius." He had learned over the years not to introduce himself by the words 'I'm Sirius' unless he wanted to go into a lengthy explanation or risk the other person thinking him rude; thus he elected to introduce himself the long way. To his relief, she understood. _Of course she does. She just heard my name when I was sorted._ All at once the Gryffindor table erupted into cheers as a girl with thick red hair came and sat down next to him after being sorted. She greeted the "congratulations" of their housemates with a nervous smile, and didn't make eye contact with Sirius at all before turning back around to watch the rest of the sorting.

An elegantly poised long-haired brunette joined their table. She introduced herself to Alice, as well as the boy across from Alice, as "Carina Fawley."

 _Fawley. One of the Sacred Twenty-Eight,_ Sirius thought to himself.

Her family wasn't nearly as illustrious as his own, but at least she would share some of the same familiarities as him; she certainly looked the part of an elegant sophisticated young lady. She was looking at him now, and he realized that he had been staring at her. Yet, she looked neither perturbed nor surprised by receiving his attention. She gave him a dazzlingly confident smile, her light blue eyes alight with a mischievous hue that reminded him of his own.

Their eyes broke apart as René O'Leary joined their party a moment later; she sat down beside Carina across from the redhead. René had narrow dark blue eyes and dark brown hair that was cut shorter than Sirius'. As Rene introduced herself, he noticed from her accent that she was from Ireland. It was a while before another new Gryffindor was added to the table, and Sirius was relieved that it was a boy this time. He came shuffling over to the table rather quickly and sat down beside Lily. Rene and Lily were the first to introduce themselves to him, and Sirius thought he heard him say

"Nice to meet you. I'm Remus Lupin" behind a very shy smile.

They were on the "P's" now, and Sirius wondered whether or not James would get his first pick at house or not. He hoped that he would; it would be nice to already have an acquaintance in Gryffindor, and James clearly had his heart set on that particular house. Before they reached "Potter", a small lumpy blonde boy named Peter was sorted into Gryffindor; he sat down beside the other first year boy, a huge smile on his face. Then a girl named Anne Pinxes came and sat down beside Rene amidst the sound of more thundering applause.

"Potter, James" the professor called, and Sirius watched intently. He knew that James must have been nervous; long hours together on the train had taught Sirius that James would only be happy if he was in Gryffindor. Sure enough, as the messy-haired boy sat gripping the sides of the stool tightly, the hat yelled out

"Gryffindor!"

James leapt to his feet, pulling off the hat with a triumph that none of its previous wearers had exhibited, and walked off confidently to the Gryffindor table. Instead of sitting down at the end, like the other first years had done, James walked straight up the boy across from Alice. The curly-haired boy seemed to be expecting him, and he scooted over immediately, making room for James to sit between himself and Carina – James was now across from Sirius.

"Frank! Didn't I tell you?!" James said laughing, as the curly-haired boy – Frank – clapped him on the back.

"Yes, yes, James, I do recall the hundred or so times you told me you'd be in Gryffindor."

"You hardly believed me!"

"No, I just told you that you shouldn't get your heart so set on one house in case you were meant to be in a different one." The boy protested, but he was grinning at his friend good-naturedly. Sirius got the impression that the two had known one another for many years.

"Stuff and nonsense!" James exclaimed loudly, waving his hands out in front of him expressively and almost knocking over the empty goblet in front of him. Carina was leaning away from him towards Rene; she clearly didn't want to sit so closely to such a rowdy person. "Am I not brave at heart?" James continued, still clearly beyond happy with his house appointment. "Where do the brave at heart dwell, Longbottom?"

"Yes, James, Gryffindor, we all know, mate." Frank seemed quite amused by his friend, though he was very calm – perhaps in an effort to counteract some of James' over-enthusiasm.

"Gryffindor!" the hat bellowed again, and a blonde girl named Violet Silverpin joined their table beside Anne. The happy cheers echoed around them again, and James took in his other tablemates for the first time.

"Sirius!" he yelled in surprise upon seeing him seated across from him. Sirius gave James a smirk. "Looks like daring won out over cunning after all!"

"Looks like it." He answered nonchalantly.

 _L'appel du vide_ , Sirius thought to himself a bit ruefully. (The voice inside one's head that tells them to do something daring that doesn't make sense to their wellbeing. This is a psych. concept with no English equivalent.)

The food appeared before them and it was an incredible sight to behold.

He pushed his nervous thoughts from his mind and went to eating as much food as he could humanly consume into his stomach. James Potter sat across from him, stuffing an equally large amount of food onto his own plate. The redheaded girl had switched places with the two boys and so the two other boys that had been sorted to Gryffindor that night as well sat directly to Sirius' left. The boy beside him had sandy colored hair and light blue eyes; he looked a bit worse for wear to tell the truth, but he seemed friendly enough. To the left of that boy sat the one who Sirius had to remind himself was in his house and therefore off limits for mocking… _at least for tonight._ He was a rather round boy with tufty blonde hair, a pointed nose, and front teeth that were too large for his mouth. He'd already told them his name… _What was it?_

"So let me just make sure I've got all of your names correct." The speaker who had appeared behind James was a pretty girl with flaming red hair and bright eyes. She was wearing a prefects' badge. "Remus, Peter, Sirius, and James. Is that correct?"

The four first year boys nodded in unison. She beamed back at them in a matronly sort of way. She then turned to the small group of first-year girls seated beside them.

"And you are: Violet, René, Anne, Carina, and Lily. Correct?" The girls nodded in unison, most of them daring to smile back at the cheerful prefect.

"And I'm Molly Prewett. I'm a seventh year, so I can help you if you have any questions, or get lost, or need anything. Welcome to Hogwarts!" _Ahh, Prewett. A distant cousin then._

A mixture of "thanks Molly" and "thank you" followed from the group of first years.

A short while into supper, as Sirius ate quietly, not used to ever being allowed to speak openly at meals, James did achieve what he'd been able to avoid earlier. As he brandished his wand like the sword of Gryffindor, not looking at what he was doing, he managed to knock pumpkin juice into Carina's lap. She gaped at James, and her expression reminded Sirius of Narcissa when she had been caught out in the rain and thought it to be the worst thing to happen to her that decade. The other four girls were watching looking stunned and appalled as well.

Alice was quick to stand and vanish all traces of the juice off of Carina and the table with a whish of her wand.

"Thank you!" Carina said to Alice, before turning to glare at James, who looked horror struck and was apologizing profusely. Behind James, Frank had his head turned in the opposite direction so that Carina wouldn't see him laughing.

The rest of the feast went smoothly, and it consisted of Quidditch conversations and general awe of the food and the castle itself. The informality of the meal was unexpected, but certainly exhilarating.

After Sirius was thoroughly stuffed with all of the food and sweets that could he could fit, the feast had ended. Molly and another prefect boy were now calling to the Gryffindor first years to follow them. Sirius stood up and made his way to the entryway of the Great Hall. It took a while to get out, as the enormous room was so packed with overly-excited students and everyone was leaving at once. As he stood in the jumbled crowd he heard a shrill voice shout his full name. He'd recognize that awful voice anywhere. _It's a crowded place. I'll just pretend I didn't hear her._ But sadly, that plan did not work, and a bony hand grabbed his right shoulder and pulled him around.

" **Do you** have **any** idea what you have just done to our family name?" His elder cousin looked beyond livid. She was digging her freakishly long nails into his shoulder. He tried unsuccessfully to shrug her hand off.

"Bella!" he said with mock joy. "Always a pleasure."

"This-is-not-funny, Sirius. You have disgraced the Black name" she hissed. _God, I hope no one else is listening to her._

"Well…. sorry." _What else can I say to this lunatic?_ "What's done is done, I s'pose." Bellatrix looked as if she wanted to curse him, but she turned on her heel and stalked off. _Well that went better than expected… probably haven't heard the last of it._

He had always known that he did not fit in with the rest of his family the way he ought to. There was something about them, or something about him, that just made him incompatible with the rest. That was his main reason for not wanting Slytherin: he didn't want school to be yet another place where his family could constantly remind him of what a disappointment he was to the noble and most ancient family name – another place to be constantly under observation and scrutiny. He expected some retribution for not being placed in Slytherin, especially from his mother and from Bella, but he felt confident that they couldn't blame him for the hat's decision. He was the heir after all, and his family would just have to get used to him being in Gryffindor instead of Slytherin.

"And I thought my family had issues." Sirius heard a passing student mutter to his friend, who laughed and answered

"Please. There isn't a family worse than the Blacks. Dark witches and wizards the lot of them. I suppose a bunch of inbred pureblood maniacs living together would have a few issues."

 _What?!_ Sirius shook with anger. _My family is respected. Noble and ancient and most certainly not inbred. How dare -_

"Oi! Sirius!" Sirius' thoughts were interrupted. He turned back to see James a good way in front of him calling back and waving an arm. Sirius made his way through the crowd and over to his fellow Gryffindors. "Get lost in a straight line, mate?" James asked, grinning.

"Nah, just catching up with one of those charming cousins I told you about on the train" he grumbled. James nodded and Sirius could tell that he understood. As they walked out into the entry hall, Sirius' mind was racing.

 _He called us 'inbred pureblood maniacs' and 'dark'. Technically so did Potter on the train. Potter said everyone thinks that… No, that isn't possible. We're highly respected. We can trace our line back to the medieval ages. Our blood status…but how important is it really? Maybe they don't care because it makes them feel better about not being purebloods. Maybe James had it backwards. James is a pureblood saying that it doesn't make him better. I'd understand if a half-blood said it didn't matter, but why would he? He's at the top. Yet,_ the small voice in his head – the one that only came out when his parents or his other relatives said something he found absolutely absurd – whispered in his mind: _But why should blood purity matter really?_

As they walked up staircases and down lengthy corridors, and through hidden doors behind tapestries, his mind debated. On one side there was the very firmly engrained argument that blood purity was of the highest importance and his family was one of the best in the wizarding world because of its blood status; he was practically royal. On the other side of the debate was an entirely new concept, which was only still beginning to make sense in his mind. The latter side, despite never hearing such words voiced aloud before today, had somehow agreed with questions he'd been asking himself silently for years: Why does blood purity affect the value of a person? What did non-purebloods think of their own status compared to his? If my family is correct, and the Sacred Twenty-Eight should rule over everyone else, then why isn't that the case? Do others not think as they do?

Lost in thought, he was jostled from his contemplations when the group stopped in front of a large portrait of a very large woman in a pink dress.

"…Don't you think?" James was saying to him, and Sirius realized that he had not listened to a word the other boy had been saying their whole trip up there. He was saved from having to admit this when the portrait swung open at the password and they were ushered through the portrait hole until they came out in a cozy red room. There were whispers of excitement from his fellow first-years, and beside him, James was now nearly jumping from excitement.

 **(Remus Lupin)**

Remus Lupin could hardly believe that he was attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. His parents had not expected that he would receive an acceptance letter. When he had, they very reluctantly wrote to Dumbledore to inform him – assuming that he must not have known – of Remus's… condition. Remus had overheard their conversation one night. His mother had been crying.

 _"_ _What if we don't tell them, Lyall? What if we just let him go. I don't want this taken away from him too. It's not his fault." Her voice broke, and her husband had held her until she had regained control._

 _"_ _I know, my love. I want him to have this too. But we can't just let him go. He could hurt someone. Or worse, others would find out and hurt him. The prejudices against werewolves-" But his mother had cut him off, a newfound strength in her eyes._

 _"_ _ **Don't**_ _talk to me about the prejudices against werewolves, Lyall. You know I know them. Awful, ignorant, insensitive people who come up with them. Our Remus doesn't want to hurt anyone…. We have to send him, Lyall. This isn't muggle grade school, where we were able to just teach him here instead. He needs to learn at a school. He needs to make_ _ **friends.**_ _"_

 _"_ _We need to write to the headmaster. Maybe he will make exceptions and allow Remus to travel home on the full moons….But, dear, we need to also figure out how we are going to tell our son if, more likely when, Dumbledore says 'no'."_

 _Remus had wanted to run into the kitchen and beg his father not to write a letter to the school. He wanted to promise that if they would just let him go to school, maybe then he could learn to be a proper wizard- a full wizard -, and maybe then the wolf would lie dormant. Maybe then his father would be able to look at him and see more than a werewolf – a constant reminder of the wholly human son he used to have._

 _His mother, a muggle, had not been raised to have the same prejudices against werewolves that witches and wizards were. She thought such views were vile and horrible; she loved him just the same – as she constantly assured him._

 _But, his father had been different. Remus could hardly remember how his father had been towards him before he was bitten. Affectionate, he supposed, closer, prouder. It wasn't that he wasn't kind to his son; he was. It was that Remus could tell his very presence made his father sad. His very existence made his father feel guilt and remorse, and loss for the little son who he had had such high hopes for. Remus was no longer that son; that much was clear._

 _His mother tried to make up for his father's lack of affection, but it only led to his parents fighting more. Thus, at home, Remus spent most of his time in his bedroom when his father arrived home from work. During his days, he would pass his time in his studies with his mother, who home-schooled him. His parent s had tried sending him to school when he was younger, but his injuries and his many absences had caused muggle teachers to worry for his safety at home. Ultimately, the Ministry had had to get involved, memory charms had to be cast on teachers, and Remus was no longer allowed to attend school._

 _He had cried and cried when his mother had tried to explain to her six-year-old son that he couldn't go back to school, couldn't see his friends again, and had to learn with her at home. He hadn't understood; why did the monster have anything to do with why he couldn't go to school? Surely he wasn't the only one who was a monster sometimes. …He learned quickly enough, however, curtesy of lectures from his father (meant to ensure his safety but more successful in making him feel less than human), and textbook after textbook on the subject of werewolves, that he was not like the other children after all._

 _His parents had tried everything; every experimental cure, every herb, potion, treatment, and muggle medicine. Nothing changed what he became every full moon; nothing diminished the agony that the transformation brought with it. His family had gone almost broke trying to find a cure for him. After years, his parents had been forced to give up. It had been yet another fight between them that Remus pretended he hadn't heard._

 _"_ _I'm not giving up on him!" His mother had shouted. "How could you even suggest-"_

 _"_ _Hope, be reasonable." His father had argued, though he didn't shout. His father never raised his voice. "Would you rather we all starve? Or live on the streets? We can't afford to keep going like this. We can't live like this."_

 _"_ _He can't live like this either, Lyall. Every month, I think 'is this the night my poor child is going to die? Is this the moon that's just two minutes too long? I can't… I won't condemn him to suffering like that every month. There has to be a cure, a way to make it easier for him, something!"_

 _"_ _There isn't! You don't understand! It's not your world; if there-"_

 _"_ _Don't give me that rubbish again, Lyall. Yes I'm a muggle, as your people call me, but I'm not about to give up on my child."_

 _"_ _I already told you, Hope…most people…they wouldn't have even…"_

 _"_ _Stop it! Don't you dare say those words out loud." She was crying. Remus had known what his father was saying; he had heard him say it before, in a different fight. Most people wouldn't have kept their child after he or she had been bitten. They would have given it a mercy killing, or else given it to a werewolf clan to be raised by its own kind. Most people considered their child – their human child - to be dead after the bite…and if still in denial, then after the first transformation._

 _"_ _Hope, we can't afford it. None of it is working. None of it has helped. All we're doing is putting him through treatments that he doesn't want to endure. We're making it worse for him. And in the meantime, we can barely get by. We're-"_

 _"_ _Oh yes, Lyall, let's agree to give up on_ _ **our son**_ _, so that you can go back to having your steak dinners."_

 _"_ _That's not what-" his father said, angrier now._

 _"_ _He is your_ _ **son**_ _, Lyall. I don't know what is wrong with you wizards and witches, but just because he has a disease doesn't make him any less your son!"_

 _"_ _It's not a disease. It's a curse. It's a curse, and it is never going away, and never getting any easier."_

 _"_ _Well I suppose that's why you all do it then, isn't it!? It's easier to pretend that your child is dead instead of suffering. You actually delude yourselves into thinking that your children are dead rather than face the truth. How do any of you sleep at night? If I become ill, are you going to write me off as well?!"_

 _"_ _Not this, again, Hope, please" he groaned. "I won't keep explaining it to you. You don't understand."_

 _"_ _You are a selfish man, Lyall! He is your son, for goodness sake."_

 _"_ _You think I don't know that?" Lyall said, his composure finally breaking. He sounded on the verge of tears himself. "You think I don't blame myself every damn day for what Remus has to go through? You think I don't love him? That I wouldn't die to protect him? You think you're the only one who's dying inside when we lock him down there to change into that-that thing? You think that I don't want to kill those narrow-minded healers who say they won't help him? Why do you think I went back to school and took all those lessons in healing spells, Hope? For fun? How can you stand here and think I don't care about our son?"_

 _Silence, save for his mother sobbing. And then his father had gone to her, and wrapped her up in his arms._

 _"_ _I'm sorry, love" he said softly. "I'm so sorry I did this to our family."_

 _The guilt, as usual was overwhelming. His parents' suffering and misery, their constant arguing, their lack of money…it was all because of him, because of what he was. He had destroyed his family. His father blamed himself, but Remus knew better._

Yet, by some miracle in the form of Albus Dumbledore, Remus had been permitted to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He was allowed to live in a dorm with other children, go to classes with other children, and make friends. Remus was going to become a real wizard, like his father. Ablus Dumbledore had come to their little house in person to talk to his parents, and to meet him, and to tell him just that. Albus Dumbledore, a wizard, didn't look at him or treat him any differently than any other child – his mother had even commented as such after Dumbledore had left. Albus Dumbledore had promised that Remus, and his secret, would be safe at Hogwarts. Thanks to Albus Dumbledore, Remus had a future other than living out his life alone with his parents. _Albus Dumbledore is the greatest wizard in the whole world._

Remus felt both elation and fear as he unpacked his trunk and observed his rather childish companions making sparks fly from the tips of their wands. One of the boys, Peter, was sitting on the foot of his four-poster bed watching the other two with excitement. It had been so long since he'd been around anyone his own age; he didn't know how to talk to them. He just wanted them to like him. He didn't dare hope that they'd like him enough to want to be friends with him – surely they would pick up on the fact that he was different from them and they would not like him for it – but he did hope that they'd at least tolerate him sharing a room with them.

 _Wow, Remus_ , he thought to himself with a small smirk, _all you can hope for is to be tolerated. What would Mum say to that? …Still, I can't ask for anything more. It's more than enough just to be able to go to school._

"Wow!" Peter yelled in admiration, as a particularly lengthy stream of silver sparks emitted from Sirius' wand. Remus didn't have much experience with peers; sure, his parents had tried, but without being able to attend school, it had been challenging to form real friendships. Besides, he had always felt too different from others anyway. His secret was a constant burden casting a shadow on any connection he formed with others. Finished with unpacking, he crawled into bed and pulled open a book – Hogwarts: A History. He'd wanted to dig into it ever since he'd first gotten it in Diagon Alley, but he hadn't had time to really read much of it. He'd read it on the train to school, but it was quite lengthy, and he had a lot to go. He wasn't really reading it now however; instead, he was discreetly watching his new roommates.

 _They're rather noisy for this hour._ _I hope no one complains._ The last thing he wanted was to be in the dorm room that got in trouble. Albus Dumbledore had been so kind to let him come to school; _I have to behave perfectly. I can't be any trouble. I have to show him how appreciative I am._

 _"_ _Don't give him a reason to change his mind, Remus." His father had said to him before he'd gotten on the train. "Dumbledore doesn't have to allow you to attend school. Make sure you show him how well-behaved and polite you are."_

It wasn't long before James and Sirius had gotten bored with the sparks and were looking for a new activity.

"I want to explore this place." Sirius said eagerly. "Think they'll catch us if we go out? Molly seemed relatively easygoing. Maybe she'd let it slide, even if she did."

James cracked a wild grin.

"I know a way we won't get caught." Remus and the other two boys watched curiously as James dug around in his trunk. After a minute, he pulled out a very large unusually shimmery cloak. Before any of them could question him, he had slipped it over himself and vanished from sight completely. Sirius and Peter screamed with elated excitement. The next thing they knew James revealed himself on the opposite side of the room.

"Wicked." Remus muttered to himself in disbelief. This boy had just disappeared in front of their very eyes.

"Care for a stroll, gentlemen?" James asked, his eyes gleaming mischievously.

 **(Peter Pettigrew)**

Peter couldn't get the smile off his face. He was in Gryffindor – the house for the brave and daring. He had never characterized himself as particularly brave, daring yes, but not necessarily brave. Yet, the hat must have seen in him what he could not yet recognize in himself. _Thank you sorting hat._

His new dorm-mates seemed like they would be fun. They were all different, he could tell – especially Remus. Peter was used to being the quiet one, not necessarily because he didn't have the desire to speak up, but because other children tended to make fun of him when he did speak up – and he didn't like that very much at all.

Peter could tell instantly however that his favorite of these new dorm-mates was James. James was smiley and friendly and inclusive with who he had invited to share his amazing cloak with, which was all three of them. Peter wasn't used to being included in activities at the school he had attended prior to Hogwarts.

Now all four of them were huddled together under the magical cloak. James and Sirius were in front, side by side, and he and Remus were close behind them. Getting out of the portrait hole had been easy enough; they had simply snuck by as a group of older students arrived coming in to the common room. Once they were out of the portrait hole, the first decision had to be made.

"Let's go left" Sirius, who was the tallest of the four, said in a way that was not entirely a suggestion.

But, James agreed, and so they headed off to the left. The corridors were dimly lit, and there were real suits of armor lining some of them. Peter let out a little gasp of awe as one of them turned its head in their direction as they walked past it.

"Are they alive?" Peter asked the other three in a whisper.

"Bewitched" Sirius replied. James stopped walking, causing the rest of them to halt as well in the center of the deserted corridor.

"Let's find the other common rooms. I wonder where they are." James suggested.

"Well I can tell you where Slytherin is. It's down in the dungeons. All the way down the stairs and then the second left."

"How do you know that?" Peter asked in shock.

"Shh" James whispered, for Peter had raised his voice rather loud in his excitement. In the darkness, he could see Sirius turning his head back over his shoulder to look down at him condescendingly.

"You **do** know who I **am** , don't you?" he asked haughtily. Suddenly Peter felt nervous and unsure of himself. _Uh…uh…yes. Sirius Black. I think._

But before he could reply, James saved him by snorting a laugh.

"Oh are you some kind of legend now? Everyone's supposed to know who you are?" Sirius chuckled.

"My roommates should, I reckon."

"I know your name is Sirius Black" Peter said, standing up for himself. But Sirius only laughed at him. _Why is that funny?_

"Shh!" James whispered again. Peter shot Remus a look. _Why is he laughing?_ But, Remus just looked back at him timidly, no help at all. "Let's head down to it then. Lead the way Mister Legend."

"With pleasure" Sirius said confidently, and they began walking once more. When they made it to the room with all of the staircases, they each stopped to look around in awe.

 _There're so many of them. I can hardly believe it. It's so grand._ They were walking again, and Peter found that he was almost revealed as they moved away from him, taking the cloak with them. Peter scurried to catch up, bumping into Sirius, who was in front of him. The boy snapped his head back to look at him, his expression relaxing as he saw that it was only Peter.

"Sorry" Peter squeaked. Sirius didn't respond. They were heading down the staircases now to a whole new part of the castle.

"Potions lessons will be down here too" James was saying. "So it's good that we get ourselves acquainted with where everything is; I want to make sure I get a decent seat in the back." He nudged Sirius in the arm and they both snickered. "Watch your step, mates" James said as they dawned another flight of stairs that had just swung their way.

When they finally got to the bottom, Sirius paused for a brief moment and then they took off to the left. It was colder in this part of the castle by a good ten degrees, and Peter felt himself shivering at the sudden change. As they passed, the torches on the walls lit up one by one lighting their way. They turned at the second left and found themselves faced with another short corridor.

There were no portraits on these stone walls, and Peter found himself wondering if perhaps Sirius Black did not know as much as he so arrogantly thought he did. They followed Sirius along to the very end, where they stood face to face with a damp stone wall.

"When it hears the password…" Sirius whispered informatively, "a door appears here and they can just walk right through."

"Ew" James said derisively. "Leave it to the Slytherin common room to be leaking slime."

"It's water" Sirius said quickly, sounding a little defensive if Peter had to guess. "The common room is under the Black Lake, which makes all the light coming into their common room green, hence their house color. I think it's cool."

"Yeah, yeah, you think it's the best. So you've already said." James said irritably. "I'd prefer a tower with real windows to a damp dungeon under a murky lake any day."

"It's not leaky on the inside" Sirius protested. "I'm sure it's not." He added, sounding a little more unsure.

"I prefer fresh air, **like a normal person**. Who wants windows that don't open?" Sirius didn't reply. "Let's go find Hufflepuff."

The four boys left the dungeons and made their way back up to the main floor of the school. Peter had no idea where to begin looking for the Hufflepuff common room, and he soon found out that none of the others did either.

"Any ideas on where to start?" James asked the group. He was met with two 'no's' and a shake of the head from Remus. "Hmm, well nobody had a parent in Hufflepuff?" Peter realized he was looking at him and Remus. Remus shook his head 'no' once more, and for the first time, spoke up.

"My Dad was in Ravenclaw." He was exceptionally soft-spoken.

"Was your Mum in Gryffindor?" Sirius asked curiously. Remus shook his head again.

"My Mum's a muggle." Sirius looked quite taken aback and even a bit horrified, but he recovered quickly enough – quick enough that James didn't seem to notice his reaction in the slightest as he had been intrigued by a Knight riding around on a horse through other portraits. Peter watched Sirius as his eyes grew far away, as if he was trying very hard to make sense of something.

"My parents were both in Hufflepuff." Peter added.

"Check out this Knight" James said, extending his arm out in their general direction, and connecting it with each of them.

"Keep your hands to yourself" Sirius said, shoving his arm away roughly, but he grinned as he saw the Knight that James was referring to. The Knight was riding along and shouting at the sleeping portraits as he cantered through their frames.

"Awake, ye naves! Sir Cadogan has a watchful eye! The braggarts are back tonight! We must hold down the keep! We must man the castle and protect the honor of this fine establishment!"

"Shut-up!" Several of the portraits yelled, along with a few more choice phrases that made Sirius and James laugh.

"Who's there?" Another of the portraits said. It was an older woman with white hair and eyes that looked like cat eyes rather than human eyes, which she was using to squint out into the darkness. "I heard laughing."

All four boys stood silent and still at once. They remained that way for several minutes until the portraits finally quieted and determined that there was no one about and that the ruckus had been caused by Sir Cadogan alone. They then retreated silently into the Entry Hall.

"So" James said brightly "Anyone had a parent in Hufflepuff?"

"My parents were in Hufflepuff" Peter repeated. "But Hufflepuffs are the most secretive about their common room. Nobody else is allowed in, even with a friend. My parents didn't say where it is."

"But you've got to have some idea as to where it could be?" James asked hopefully. Peter wished he did. He really wished he had thought to ask, but such a question had never come up.

"I don't" he admitted. "But, I could write to them and ask. They might tell me…" _Probably won't though._ James gave a loud displeased sigh.

"What about you then?" Sirius said, directing his question at Remus. The small sandy-haired boy looked very much like a dear in the crossfire. Peter felt a little bad for him; he was obviously a shy kid, and Peter certainly could relate to not being accepted by others.

"W-what about me?" he asked nervously.

"Did your father say where Ravenclaw's common room is?"

"It's in a tower on the East side of the castle. I don't know exactly where the entrance is though. …You have to answer a riddle to enter."

This time Sirius sighed as well.

"I suppose that's a start. Let's head in that direction then." James said decisively, and the four of them headed East.

They spent the next three hours searching for the entrance to the Ravenclaw common room. Once they'd reached the Eastern side of the castle, they'd opened up every unlocked door and looked behind every hanging tapestry they could find. Occasionally one of them would crane their head out of a window and try to see how close they were to being under the pivot they had guessed was Ravenclaw Tower. It was possibly in vain, however, because the castle had so many towers that it was very difficult to pick out which one could be Ravenclaw's, especially from the inside.

Eventually, James and Sirius decided that the search for Ravenclaw could continue on another night and that they should instead just wander around and explore. This proved to be a much more exciting venture, though James and Sirius spent most of it elatedly squabbling over which way their group should travel next.

"It's my cloak" was typically James' response to whenever Sirius suggested an opposite direction than James wanted to go in. During such times, Sirius had to reluctantly consent, though he did not do so without adding his critical two-knuts to each of James' decisions. It was evident to Peter that both of these boys were used to giving orders that were obeyed.

They wandered around until what Peter was sure had to be nearly 3:30 in the morning. He gave a huge yawn and met eyes with Remus, who looked like he was growing weary as well. Peter didn't want to suggest to James and Sirius that they all head back, because the two of them were still bundles of energy. But, Peter was exhausted, and from what he could tell, Remus was ready to drop off at any minute as well.

"James?" Peter asked, and to his relief James looked at him with a friendly smile.

"Yeah, Peter?"

"I was just wondering…how much longer until we head back to the common room, d'you think?" James gave a slightly surprised little frown.

"Are you tired?"

 _How are you not tired?_ Peter gave an apologetic shrug. To his immense relief James smiled once more.

"We can head back now if you're tired."

"Really?" Peter asked in excited disbelief. _You are the nicest friend ever._

"Yeah, of course" James chuckled and he threw an arm around Peter's shoulders.

Peter felt himself bursting with happiness at this. James had included him in the invitation to go exploring, and now he had even ended the escapade for the evening solely based on the fact that Peter had suggested he was tired. People like that are rare.

"Let's head back, mates." James said, more to Sirius than to Remus.

Remus was standing right beside them under the cloak, and so he had heard the conversation, whereas Sirius had been daring enough to get out from under the cloak and walk along the corridors by himself for the past hour or so. He had kept by them though, and he was now a few feet from them, peering into an empty classroom.

Remus shot Peter a grateful look, and Peter smiled back. It felt good to help Remus; Peter wasn't usually in a situation in which he had the opportunity to help people like that. He was usually the one who needed the help. Sirius was heading back to them now.

"I don't want to go back yet" he whispered stubbornly. "There's a whole castle to explore. We'll be lucky if we get to it all in seven years. We can't be calling it in early."

"I agree with you, mate, but they're tired. Besides, it's the first day of classes tomorrow and we should get a few hours of sleep for that."

"Who knew you were so responsible, Potter?" Sirius said frowning, but he clearly consented, because he was slipping back under the cloak now too.

The four of them made their way slowly back to the Gryffindor common room entrance. It was a trickier feat than they had realized, because they did not quite know their way back. Yet, after many wrong turns, and a lot of backtracking, and then looking behind several tapestries to find the one with the hidden entrance behind it, they finally made their way to the portrait of the plump woman in the pink dress. She was sleeping.

"Hinky Punks" James whispered. "Hinky punks" he said again louder.

"Oi!" Sirius yelled, and Remus jumped a mile. The fat lady startled awake and looked about wildly. They were still under the cloak. "Hinky Punks." Sirius said loudly.

"Who's there? Who's waking me up at this hour because they were out of bed after curfew?"

"That's none of your concern" Sirius snapped back without delay. Peter noticed that James shifted a little uncomfortably. "Hinky Punks. Now let us in."

"Us? There's more than one of you that have broken the rules? Why should I let you in after you so rudely woke me up at such an hour? Now I'll have no beauty sleep for tomorrow on the very first day when I must greet so many people after a long summer holiday."

"Bloody hell." Sirius groaned. "Do your job. Hinky Punks! Hinky Punks! Hinky Punks!"

Some of the other portraits were stirring awake now as Sirius continued to shout the password.

"Well I never!" The fat lady gasped, and she swung open. The four of them clambered through. Once inside, they gave a quick look around to see that the common room was empty, and then James pulled the cloak off of all of them.

"Think you were loud enough?" James shot at Sirius in exasperation.

"It worked, didn't it? What an obnoxious woman. Beauty sleep? Like anyone cares what she looks like….I hate portraits."

James' retort got lost in a huge yawn.

"I'm too tired to give you a lesson in manners, Black. Let's go to bed."

"I've had plenty of lessons in manners, thank you very much" Sirius grumbled back as they made their way up the stairs to the boys' dormitories.

"Well clearly they didn't stick."

They were back in their room now, and Peter felt a wave of relief and exhaustion flow over him. He hurried over to his trunk and dug out his pajamas. He pulled on his matching pants and t-shirt set; it was blue with little clouds all over it. James and Sirius were still bickering back and forth.

"I don't reserve manners for people, no **portraits** , that don't do their jobs."

"I suppose that's how you talk to your house elf too is it?" James said, yanking his own red t-shirt on over his head. It had a Gryffindor lion on the front of it, and it was clearly a matching set with his flannel red and gold pajama pants.

On the far side of the room from James, Sirius stood looking for lack of a better word elegant in his silk button-up collared emerald pajama shirt and matching silk pants. On the front pocket of the shirt were the gray monogramed letters "S.O.B." intertwined tastefully. Sirius placed a hand on his hip and stared aloofly over at James.

"Only the vile ones. I'm going to bed" he said dismissively. James didn't retort, though he looked like he wanted too. All four of them were in bed now.

"Goodnight" Peter announced to the room tentatively.

"Night" came the hushed voice of the boy on the far side of the room from him: Remus.

Peter's bed was to the left of James' bed. The door to their lavatory was on the left of Peter's bed, and Sirius' bed was on the other side of the door, to the right of Remus' bed. The positioning in the round room made Remus' bed roughly diagonally across from Peter's bed and James' bed roughly diagonally across from Sirius' bed; it also made Peter's bed closer to James' than any other, and similarly Sirius' bed closer to Remus' than any other. The door to enter their dormitory was between Remus' and James' beds, across from the door to the lavatory.

"Night" Sirius said flatly as he fluffed up his pillow. He was muttering something about not being properly forewarned as to the lack of pillows he would have at school.

"What's your middle name?" James asked, his tone friendly once more. It took Peter a moment to realize that he was asking Sirius. Sirius looked a little surprised that James had let the matter of Sirius being rude to the Fat Lady drop so easily. Yet, it seemed that James preferred to stay up and talk rather than defend the portrait and be forced to head to bed. "Starts with an 'O'," James explained, tilting his head towards the monogram, "Unless you just like to advertise that you're an S.O.B." he teased.

Peter's eyes widened. James had just called Sirius an S.O.B., and Peter doubted that would go over well. To his surprise Sirius didn't look offended at the jibe.

"Orion" Sirius said with just a hint of distaste in his voice.

"Like Orion's belt" James mused, seemingly entertained.

"It's my father's name" Sirius replied.

"My middle name's Henry" Peter shared. James and Sirius looked over at him. James let out a small laugh.

"Thanks for sharing" James chuckled. "Now we'll know what to call you when you misbehave."

Peter wasn't sure why him sharing his middle name was not welcome when James had expressly asked the other boy the same question. He stared at James in confusion, but James didn't seem to catch on to his dismay.

"Bit conceited, yeah?" James asked, his question once more directed at the boy in the bed across from him.

"What d'you mean?"

"Gave you his name as your middle name? Weren't there enough names in the world to choose from?" Sirius made a face, but Peter couldn't place the meaning of his expression.

"All the men in my family do that. My brother Regulus is named after our Great Uncle, who was named after his uncle, and Reg's middle name's my Grandfather's name, and he was named after his uncle. And I'm…" he paused, his eyes darting to his hands in his lap for a quick second before looking back up at James, "…the third Sirius in our family. We keep names in the family. …I thought most people did that…"

James was making a face of mild aversion.

"Sometimes, but that seems a bit excessive."

"Well my father's the first Orion," Sirius said quickly. James made a face of mock 'yes-that-changes-everything', and changed the subject.

"You've got a brother? How old?" At that, Sirius' expression seemed to relax from the defensive one it had held just moments earlier.

"Nine. Almost ten. He's a year younger than me."

"Do you get on?" James asked casually.

"Of course we get on." Sirius said in astonishment. "He's my brother, isn't he?" James gave a one-shouldered shrug.

"I'm an only child."

"Me too." Peter put in, seeing his chance to join their conversation. Again they looked at him as if he had interrupted their private moment somehow. _There're four of us here. We're all awake. Why are they looking at me like it was weird for me to speak?_

"How about you?" James asked Remus. Remus looked utterly exhausted; the boy clearly did not want to be kept up by their talking but had felt unsure of how to excuse himself to sleep.

"I'm an only child too."

"I was a miracle baby." James announced to them with a smile. "My parents didn't think they could have kids, but now here I am."

"In my family we call that an accident" Sirius said coolly, smirking. James looked surprised.

"No I'm not! They wanted me. They were trying -."

"Ew!" Sirius yelped, jumping backward against the headboard as if someone had thrown water at him. James flushed crimson.

"I didn't mean it like that" he mumbled, visibly embarrassed.

"I'm thoroughly disgusted for one evening" Sirius said, laying down and pulling his curtains shut. "Night."

Taking Sirius' cue, Remus closed his own curtains and likely tried to fall asleep as well. Peter watched James as he sat there staring at Sirius' closed curtains, looking both horrified and humiliated.

"It's alright, James" Peter tried softly. James looked over at him wearily.

"I didn't mean it like that. I didn't mean it how he took it." He whined.

"I know. It's okay. Don't worry about it. Let's just get some sleep. We have classes in the morning." James nodded and laid down.

Almost an hour past yet Peter still had somehow not fallen asleep, despite his exhaustion. Adrenalin from being at school was pumping through him, and he was too excited now to sleep. He heard the sound of bed curtains opening. He could make out the sound of what must have been James getting out of his bed and crossing the room.

"Black" came a hushed urgent whisper. "Black." _What in the world is James doing._ "Black" James said, no longer whispering. There was a startled sound as Sirius woke up.

"Wha-?" the other boy's voice asked groggily.

"I didn't mean it how you took it, alright?" The sound of bed curtains rustling; Sirius must have been opening his own curtains.

"What are you doing, Potter?" He asked sounding thoroughly confused. There was a brief pause.

"I didn't mean for it to come out the way I said it. I'm not…" Then came the sound of Sirius chuckling.

"Relax, Potter. It's not a big deal. Trust me; I've heard a lot more graphic descriptions of such things from my family." _What?!_ "Don't keep yourself awake over it."

"Right…well…thanks, Black. I…I wasn't up over it…I just…"

"Uh-huh" came a disbelieving reply. "G'night."

"You want to play a game of snap?"

"Goodnight Potter" Sirius said very firmly, and Peter could hear him yanking his bed curtains closed. _I'll play a game of exploding snap._

Peter opened the right side of his curtains, so that when James headed back over to bed, he could see him.

"James" Peter whispered. James jumped a little, but he turned around to face him with a grin.

"Yeah?"

"I can't sleep. Want to play a game of snap?" James' smile broadened.

"Sure. Let's play it in the common room though."

Peter was able to learn a lot about James, and vis versa, during their rounds of snap. Both boys were talkative, excited, and were rather the type to naturally overshare. When they headed back upstairs it was nearly dawn; they'd get little more than an hour's sleep before they'd have to wake up for classes. They hadn't known each other for very long at all, yet Peter already knew that he and James were going to be really wonderful friends.


	4. Chapter 3: The First Day

**(Remus Lupin)**

The next morning came rather too early for Remus. They had wandered the castle until well after 3 AM, with James and Sirius excitedly bickering over which way they should turn next. Their first class was at 10 AM that morning.

Remus was first up, first into the lavatory, and first to be packed and ready. He was used to rising early at home. Both of his parents were early risers, and so he had always been accustomed to waking with the sun. Besides, he hated the moon; he'd rather be asleep when it came out.

He rechecked that he had everything he needed for his lessons in his bag for a third time. _Am I supposed to wait for them to go down to breakfast? What if they sleep through breakfast? What if they think it's odd that I waited for them? Maybe I should change back and pretend I was still sleeping too._ He thought about it for a moment, but then decided against it. He sat down on the end of his bed, nervous excitement flowing through him. He was going to classes…at school…with other kids.

Remus glanced down at his watch. He didn't know where his class would be, and he didn't want to risk being late. The thought of drawing attention to himself by walking in late was positively horrifying.

He was beginning to worry over the fact that he might be faced with the task of waking up his three dorm-mates when a small whistling sound went off. Jolted, Remus looked around for the source of the noise – the noise which was loud enough to wake all of them. Peter scrambled to open his curtains and reached for a device on his bedside table.

"Sorry!" he squeaked. "I didn't know it'd be so loud." There were loud groans from both Sirius and James. But, James recovered quickly enough. It was less than a minute before James' bed-curtains flew open and the very messy-haired boy leapt from the bed.

"Good morning Hogwarts!" he yelled with a giddy laugh.

Remus couldn't help but smile at James' outward excitement. Remus felt just as excited himself, though he would never exude it in such a manner. There was another loud groan from behind Sirius' bed curtains. _Probably in response to James yelling._ James seemed not to notice.

"Good morning Remus!" James said beaming at him. "You're already ready?" Remus nodded. He could hardly believe that this other boy was greeting him so cheerfully. James was more than tolerating his presence; he was being friendly. _No_ , Remus warned himself, _don't hope for friends._ "This one's going to give me a run for my money" James said to Peter, jerking his thumb back at Remus. Remus didn't quite understand what James meant by that at all.

"I'm exhausted" Peter sighed, his eyes only half open. James gave a giddy laugh once more. Peter was a small roundish boy with a pointed nose and rather oversized front teeth.

"Me too!" he shouted. Again, there was a groan from the closed-curtained bed. Despite how tired Remus felt, he was sure that both James and Peter looked even more exhausted. "But we must fill this day with adventures." James proceeded to loudly hum a tune as he dug around for clothes in his trunk. James and Peter were ready in a matter of minutes.

"Sirius!" James said loudly, standing in the center of the room fully clad in his Gryffindor attire. "Sirius Black!" Then he gave a laugh. "Sirius Orion Black! Sirius Black the Third!" The loudest groan yet emitted from the behind the curtains. "He lives! …Get up, Sirius! We want to go down to breakfast."

"Ten more minutes" gave a muffled voice.

"No way. We gave you all the time to sleep while we got ready."

"Five?" James laughed.

"I'll give you one…one until I drag you out of bed myself. Come on!" Remus was a little worried at that; _would James really drag one of them out of bed? Is he really that rough?_

The curtains opened half way and two feet found the floor, though Sirius did not stand up. He sat there stretching and grumbling for a bit until he finally stuck his head around at them all. His hair, which was angled to be just above his cheek-bones in the front, down past his ears on the sides, and then gradually longer down to the bottom of his neck in the back, was a tangled mess. In this light, his startlingly-grey eyes stood out even more against the contrast of his almost shiny dark black hair. He looked delicate in a refined sort of way as he sat their glaring at them indignantly, as if they had done him a terrible disservice by waking him.

"You ready to face the morning yet?" James teased. Sirius narrowed his eyes at them, but he didn't seem to be sincere with his expression of sternness. "You went to bed first and woke up last. You got the most sleep out of all of us." Sirius gave a dramatic sigh that he carried through to the sinking of his shoulders and the throwing back of his head to face the ceiling. "Dramatic one, aren't you?"

Sirius gave a smirk at that.

"So I've been told" he said, a bit more wickedly mischievous. He made a real ordeal of getting ready for the day, and Remus half-thought that James was going to break down the door when Sirius hadn't come out from getting ready in the lavatory after fifteen minutes.

"What were you doing in there all that time?" James exclaimed when Sirius finally came out and slung his expensive Florentine leather book-bag over his shoulder. Sirius ignored the question entirely, as if it was beneath him to answer, and they headed down to the Great Hall for their first breakfast at Hogwarts.

James nearly jumped the entire way there, because he was so excited, and he only stopped when Sirius told him "If you don't stop acting like an undignified two-year-old prat, I'm never going to go to breakfast with you again." After that, James walked normally.

The four of them sat at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall for breakfast still feeling rather groggy. Remus could not have been more delighted when they had let him sit with them as if they had expected nothing less. He had hesitated as the three of them sat. Was he welcome to sit with them, or was he pushing their tolerance too far to do so?

"D'you have something against benches?" Sirius had asked, already seated across from James and diagonal from Peter. Remus had shook his head quickly and sat down across from Peter, to Sirius' right.

The post arrived via a hoard of owls entering in through the high open windows of the hall. His father had told him about this, but it was still a mesmerizing sight to behold. Beside him, Peter squealed in awe. Sirius and James however, did not seem to take any notice of the owls until each had their own letters dropped in front of them. Remus and Peter received messages as well. Peter looked positively enamored as he read a lengthy letter that he received via a small light brown owl. Remus gave his father's owl, which arrived first out of the four of them, some of the bacon from his plate to nibble on before taking his letter.

 _Dearest Remus,_

 _I miss you so much already! Your father and I hope that you've settled in well and that you are having a lot of fun! I heard you were split up into teams and that your team is called Gryffindor. Congratulations, darling! We are so proud of you! Do you like your team? How are your roommates? Are they nice? Do you like them? We wish you the best of luck with all of your classes today! Have fun and study hard!_

 _Also, your father wants me to ask you how everything is going in regard to your special circumstances. Have you had any trouble? Is everyone being kind to you? I'm sure that it's fine, but you know how your father worries. Just be yourself, love, and you will make lots of friends!_

 _I hope to hear from you soon. I can't wait to read about how your first day went! (I wish your school had telephones; it would make talking to you so much easier…. But there is something nice about writing letters as well, I suppose.) We love you Remus!_

 _Love Always,_

 _Mum and Dad_

Remus appreciated the fact that his mother had written 'we' instead of 'I'; he knew that they were entirely his mother's words and not his father's, - well, except for the bit of worrying about his 'special circumstances'. It made him uneasy just to think about it. Soon enough, the full moon would be upon him, and he would be in an entirely new place for the transformation. Furthermore, his parents wouldn't be there to take care of him afterwards. The thought alone was enough to make him want to faint.

 _No. I'm at school. Be happy. Be appreciative. Don't waste it thinking about the moon._ Remus refocused his mind back on the breakfast table. The other three had their letters as well now. He noticed that James had received a rather large, clearly expensive, gift package accompanying his letter.

"'Bout time. I've been waiting for this since I found it hidden in the closet a month ago." James unwrapped the shimmering wrapping to reveal a golden snitch, a large box of assorted candies, and a few other trinkets. His letter from his parents was nearly a foot long, and he grinned widely as he read it. "Oi, mates. Dig in. Spoil your breakfasts."

Peter, who had just finished reading his own letter, gleefully reached out for one of the many chocolate frogs in front of James. Remus, however, did not. Despite being happy to hear from his parents, the thought of the full moon left an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He glanced over at his new dorm mates, all too aware that they would not accept him if they knew the truth. A rush of fear flooded over him. What had he been thinking coming here to live surrounded by people who could easily hate him for what he was? These boys, who he had been invited to explore with the night before, would turn on him if they ever knew what he was. _They'd have every right to._

James and Peter were now merrily, and rather raucously, spoiling their meals on the sweets from James' parents. Sirius on the other hand had gone fairly rigid; he looked rather pale. Remus noticed that his letter lay in a crumpled ball on the table in front of him.

"Have a bit of sweets, mate." James said, to Sirius. "Go on."

"Eh, I'm not really hungry…. See you lot in class." With that, Sirius left, taking the crumpled up letter with him. _But we just got here. We just waited for you to get ready so that we could all come together._ James and Peter didn't seem to notice anything odd and they went back to the sweets. Remus, on the other hand, although he had to admit he did not have that much experience observing others, could have sworn that Sirius was upset.

The rest of breakfast went by fairly quickly. There was an unbelievable amount of food, and there was a huge variety to choose from. _I'll have to remember to tell Mum that in the letter._ His mother, as a muggle, was incredibly interested in hearing all about the magical school her son was attending. Remus was quiet for most of breakfast, mostly making silent mental notes about things he should include in his letter to his mother. There were so many fascinating things that he was thinking he would have to start a running list or else he'd forget some of them before he could get to writing out the letter.

James and Peter were chatting away merrily, still munching more on the sweets than on the meal being served. When it was time to leave, James and Peter rose on their side of the table. Remus had a brief moment of panic over whether or not it would be intrusive for him to get up then too and then walk with them. But, before he could think much on it, James smiled at him.

"Come on, Remus. Race you to the end of the table." Remus didn't have time to register that unusual statement before James, and then Peter, took off running along the table towards the door out. Remus wasn't going to run indoors, so he settled for walking briskly to the end via his side of the table. James and Peter were waiting for him there, laughing at their fun. "You didn't race" James said when Remus met up with them.

"Sorry, I…" Remus began softly. _I've ruined it. They won't include me in things anymore._

"It's fine" James said with a wave of his hand. "Better get going, yeah? I've no idea where Charms is." The first class of the day was Charms with the Hufflepuffs. Relief flowed over Remus as they made their way out of the Great Hall. He hadn't yet ruined his chances at acceptance.

 **(Sirius Black)**

Sirius was already seated in Professor Flitwick's class before most of the other Gryffindors arrived. Remus, James, and Peter arrived together, and James took up the seat next to him, with Peter and Remus sitting in front of them. As the professor described the technique to the Wingardium Leviosa spell, Sirius struggled to pay attention. _Stop being an idiot._ He told himself. _It's not like everything was peachy before I was sorted into Gryffindor. So they're a bit angrier than I'd thought they'd be. Give it time._

 _"_ Oi, Sirius. Check this out." James whispered, grinning wildly from the seat beside him. Rather than practicing on the feather in front of him, he aimed his spell at Peter's open textbook. At first he merely levitated it, much to Peter and Remus' confusion and surprise that the book had begun to levitate in front of them. Growing bored with the simple trick quickly, James raised the book higher until it was above Peter's upturned head. Then, very decisively, he let the book fall, crashing into the very bewildered face of Peter.

Flitwick, just now noticing the commotion caused by the book hitting Peter, gave a wide smile.

"Well done Mr. Pettigrew! Though, we're aiming for our feathers, not our books. Five points to Gryffindor!" Peter looked astounded, still not realizing what had made his book levitate, but he smiled joyfully at receiving points for their house. Sirius and James could barely stifle their laughter.

When the class ended, the four of them headed out noisily into the crowded corridor.

"So kind of you to earn us some points, Mr. Pettigrew." James said smirking.

"I-I don't even know how that happened. I wasn't casting the spell." Sirius and James laughed even louder.

"We know." James said, still laughing. "Thanks for taking one for the house." Peter still looked confused, though Remus was giving them a rather disapproving look. Peter turned to Remus in silent confusion.

"They levitated your book." Remus explained, but there wasn't any humor in his voice.

"Lighten' up, Remus. It was only a prank." Sirius said, grinning. _If this kid is going to be a stickler for the rules, he will be no fun at all._ Though, at being told to lighten up, Remus immediately flushed. They turned the corner and headed down a ways towards potions. They took a few staircases downward before they reached the dungeons. It was much less crowded this way.

"Well," came a familiar high pitched drawling voice from behind them, "if it isn't the little blood-traitor himself." Sirius stiffened. He turned, along with the others, to see his cousins Bellatrix and Narcissa with their boyfriends Rodolphus Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy.

"Bella, Cissa." He said, trying to maintain an heir of aloofness to these people who he disliked so sincerely. "Splendid running into you down here in the dungeons."

"Right where we'd expect." James muttered with a chuckle, smirking.

"What was that?" Lucius snapped. "Potter, isn't it?" He said James' last name as if it were a disease. "Ten points from Gryffindor."

"What?!" Both Sirius and James hollered at this absurdity.

"W-w-what?" Bellatrix taunted in a whining voice. Oh, how he loathed her most of all.

"I'm a prefect, boys." Lucius was grinning maliciously. "Now run along to class before I dock you another ten points for blocking up the corridor."

"Blocking up the corridor?" James shouted in exasperation. "What rubbish!"

"Ten points from Gryffindor" Lucius said again, a malicious smile curving its way across his pale face. Sirius wondered vaguely if it were possible for a house to have a negative amount of points. James stuck a hand in his robes for his wand, but it was Remus who stopped him, grabbing his arm.

"Let's just go." Remus said to them. Huffing, James spun on his heal and stalked off towards the potions room. The three of them began to follow him just as Lucius spoke again.

"Not you, Black. You stay back a moment." Sirius rolled his eyes. _Shit._ Remus gave him an inquiring look that seemed to ask if he'd be alright. _Awfully considerate…for someone he just met yesterday._ Sirius gave him a slight nod in return and turned back to face the others. He waited moment until the others were far enough down the corridor that they were out of earshot.

"What do you want?" He asked through gritted teeth. He loathed the lot of them.

"Mind your manners, Sirius, or we'll have to make you mind them." Rodolphus, who was currently in his fifth year, said nastily.

"There, there, baby Sirius." Bellatrix said as she approached him, taking his chin firmly in one of her icy hands. "We just want to have a little chat." He looked up into her cold dark eyes; they were almost snakelike.

 **(Sirius Black)**

In potions, Sirius barely spoke to the others at all. He was still livid from being ambushed like that in the corridor. _The nerve of some people._ At lunch he received yet another two letters, one from each of his exceptionally infuriated parents. He crumpled these up as well and shoved them into his pockets. He was sitting with Remus at the Gryffindor table. James and Peter were a ways down, sitting with that Frank Longbottom kid.

Sirius was still making up his mind about Peter and Remus. He knew he liked James well enough, though he was definitely from a family of blood-traitors if there ever was one. _Still, it's not a reason not to be friends with him._ The truth of it was, blood-traitor or not, James was the only true pureblood in his dormitory, and so out of the three, he was the only company his parents would approve of. Still, he had liked James from the beginning; he was fun.

Peter on the other hand was odd; there was no way around it. He was awkward-looking, slow on the uptake, and easy to poke fun at. Sirius didn't care to pay him much mind for now; it was all he could do not to poke fun at him, even though James seemed to have made fast friends with him.

Remus on the other hand was still a wild card. He was definitely shy; trying to get him to carry on a conversation was like pulling teeth. Sirius was more than used to having to carry on conversations he didn't care about with people he'd rather not speak to; so the fact that Remus couldn't seem to manage to even talk to him was annoying. Still, there was a way about him that made Sirius think there was more to his personality than he was showing. It was the way he rolled his eyes almost sarcastically when the group of girls next to them had said something stupid… and it was in the way he had looked at Sirius to see if he'd be alright before leaving when his cousins had cornered him. Yes, there was definitely more to his personality than just being quiet.

Sirius took a long gulp of his pumpkin juice and decided to try to make conversation again. _Tenth failed attempt is the charm._ Remus usually replied with such short answers that it was impossible to carry on the conversation. Sirius thought up yet another conversation starter topic.

"So what d'you think of the dorm room? Bit small for four people. Don't you agree?" _Shit. I shouldn't have given him the out of just answering 'yes' or 'no'._ Yet, before Remus could respond, a group of Ravenclaw girls were passing by the table where he and Remus were seated, and one of them spoke directed at him.

"What's a Slytherin doing sitting at the Gryffindor table?" one scoffed as she drew nearer. **_What_** _did she just say?_

"Didn't that wretched cousin of yours tell you, Black?" another goaded. "The elitist purebloods sit at the Slytherin table."

"Yeah?" Sirius called after them angrily, leaning backward off the bench as they walked away. "And where to the dim-witted, ugly slappers sit?"

Remus nearly choked on his pumpkin juice at Sirius choice of language. He turned back to Remus, who was sitting across from him. By now, Sirius was quite certain that at least one of James Potter's facts had been quite accurate on the train: most people did view his family as stuck-up elitists with their priorities out of order.

"I can't help it if my family values blood status. They're just as bad, you know! Judging me based on my blood. Can't they see I'm in Gryffindor?" Sirius let off a stream of swears and insults for those girls into his afternoon goblet of pumpkin juice. Remus was looking uncomfortable, but Sirius didn't really care. _Those hags._ "They know my name and they think they know me."

"It'll pass. They'll all get tired of it soon. Then they'll get to know you for something other than your name." Remus was trying to comfort him, but it wasn't working. _He has no idea what it's like. None of them do. My entire life…everything I've been told…everyone I've ever known…I don't know what or who to believe anymore. …My family sending me letters about what a shameful disappointment I am…how I've ruined everything._

"Just wish the people who don't even know me would just lay off. It's hard enough as it is." He could feel is voice get caught up in his throat and his eyes stung. _No._ In a flash he forced a grin and relaxed. "So, did you happen to catch the Quidditch scores in the Profit this morning?"

"What?" Remus asked, clearly taken aback by the sudden change in topic. Sirius rolled his eyes in exasperation. _Work with me here._

"The Quidditch scores. Did you read them?"

 **(Remus Lupin)**

The rest of the day's classes seemed to go by relatively quickly. None of the professors seemed to be too focused on giving them a ton of homework on the first day. Remus sat beside Peter and near James and Sirius for each class. After the last class of the day, Defense Against the Dark Arts, they headed into the Great Hall together for dinner. Remus wasn't quite positive that he was welcome without a verbal invitation, but he sat down with them anyway. Sirius was to his left, Peter across from him, and James across from Sirius.

James and Sirius were engaged in a lengthy debate over which of their favorite Quidditch teams was better, and why, which had begun half way through the D.A.D.A. class. Remus had longed to ask them to please be quiet and listen during the class, but he wouldn't dare risk upsetting them, let alone chance unleashing Sirius' fierce temper in his direction. Remus was content to sit quietly and listen to them discuss their favorite players and plays. He wanted so much to be accepted, to fit in… _of course, I'll never truly fit in. But to have friends would be so wonderful._ He was happy just to be allowed to sit with regular children.

Near the end of the meal, an owl flew in and delivered yet another letter to Sirius. He'd had at least six or seven letters delivered to him throughout the day in various locations. Remus could tell that he eyed it wearily. Remus found himself wondering why any family would need to send that many letters in one day. Still, he could tell by the writing on the envelopes that they were from at least six different people.

"You gonna open that?" James asked casually, not seeming to catch on to Sirius' hesitation. Sirius shrugged.

"Later." The conversation about Quidditch resumed.

Back in the dormitory, the four boys were getting ready for bed. James was in the attached lavatory showering. Peter was nibbling on sweets from James' gift package and writing a reply letter to his parents. Sirius was sitting on the edge of his bed reading his latest letter. Remus sat in bed thumbing through his transfiguration textbook. The sound of ripping paper could be heard from the bed beside him. Turning out of reflex, Remus saw that Sirius' letter was now a pile of finely shredded pieces. Sirius was glowering at the pile.

"Either of you know a spell so I can set this on fire?"

"No" Remus said, after a short pause. Peter simply shook his head. Sirius gave a heavy sigh. Then he cocked his head to the side, looking at Remus.

"Don't tell me that's a textbook?" _What does he mean by that?_ Remus asked himself quickly. _Of course he knows this is a textbook. He has the same one._

"It's for transfiguration." To Remus' horror, the taller boy rolled his eyes at him and scoffed.

"I think you're in the wrong tower. Ravenclaw's the other side of the castle." Remus wanted to disappear.

"That's rich, coming from you." James said, having come out of the bathroom with wet messy black hair wearing a pair of Gryffindor red pajamas just in time to hear Sirius' remark. There was a flicker of something Remus couldn't quite place in Sirius' gray eyes before he turned his head slowly towards James.

"Easy Potter. Let's not get your perfect panties in a knot. I only meant that he was bookish."

"So what's it to you if he's bookish? You don't need to go making him feel unwelcome. Nor do you need to imply that Gryffindors aren't intelligent enough to read their textbooks." Remus could feel himself shrink back into the headboard of his bed. He didn't want them fighting. They'd seemed to get along so amicably the past two days.

"I wasn't!" Sirius said angrily. "Lupin, tell Potter that I wasn't making you feel unwelcome. God knows he won't be able to sleep tonight if he thinks we don't all get along just perfectly."

"Don't tell him what to do! This isn't Slytherin, Black! If you wanted dorm mates who fell in line after your pureblood elitist ancestry, then you joined the wrong house." But James had clearly struck a nerve, and Sirius leapt to his feet and stormed over to the center circle of the room, a few paces from James. Peter sat on his bed, looking rather terrified.

"How dare you, Potter! That's not what I want, and you bloody well know it!"

Seeing how upset he had made Sirius, James seemed to retract some of his own fury.

"Fine" he said stiffly. "Perhaps I misinterpreted. But, I won't stand for anyone insulting Gryffindor."

"I wasn't insulting Gryffindor." Sirius growled. James squared his shoulders.

"Fine." James turned on his heel and exited the room. Sirius gaped at the door. Then, to Remus' surprise, he turned his blazing grey-eyed gaze on him.

"I wasn't" he asserted vehemently. "And I wasn't ordering you. That's just how I talk." He smirked at his own remark, calming down a little.

"I know." Remus ventured a quiet response. Sirius Black could be quite terrifying when he was angry.

"Why in the blazes **are** you reading a textbook? I mean, didn't you get enough of school this afternoon?"

"I like to read." He sounded shy, he knew, but he couldn't help it. Sirius was much taller and brawnier than he was, and he certainly had a quicker temper. Seeming to sense his effect on the smaller boy, Sirius' posture relaxed, and when he spoke again, he did so much more gently.

"You don't have to be afraid of me, you know." Remus could feel himself flushing scarlet.

"I-I'm not." Sirius let out a short laugh.

"Is that why you're huddled up against the headboard like that?" He had one eyebrow raised. "I promise I don't bite." _I do._ Remus thought to himself, disgusted at the very thought of it. After Remus didn't answer, Sirius spoke again. "Quiet one, aren't you?"

"I guess." Remus muttered quietly, feeling ashamed at being so different from the normal boys, like Sirius, and James, and Peter. He would never be able to be confident like them. To his great shock, the taller boy came forward and sat himself on the curve of Remus' footboard, so that he was seated facing Remus. He eyed him thoughtfully, and Remus had to will himself not to duck his head under his covers.

"So I learned at lunch that you aren't much for Quidditch…we'll fix that of course. And you're bookish I see. What else do you like?" Remus' chest constricted. How was he to make conversation with this boy; he had no practice talking to anyone besides his mother and father.

"I like to play chess." He answered softly. To his great relief, Sirius seemed pleased by this.

"Brilliant." He said smiling. "Take out your set and we can play." Again, Remus felt himself sure to fall into disfavor. His family only had two sets, a black and a white. He couldn't take them with him to school and leave his parents without.

"It's at home."

"No matter, I've got two." Sirius busied himself with getting the pieces and the board from his trunk. As he dug around, he carelessly tossed various articles to the floor. Articles that, Remus couldn't help but notice, were exceptionally expensive.

By the time Sirius was done, the floor around the foot of his bed was littered with fine silk shirts, emerald green cashmere sweaters, loose Galleons, a package of the finest long-feathered quills, large cufflinks that looked to be real silver, an assortment of candy from the train, and various other pieces of luxurious clothing.

Remus noticed that the majority of the clothing was emerald green, and not a single article was Gryffindor red. Without troubling to replace them in his trunk, Sirius got up and placed the chess materials on Remus's bed and returned to his previous position on the footboard. Sirius' chess board and sets were nothing like his own. The ornate board was lined in real silver and stood on four clawed legs that curved out from each corner like a mini table. The board and the pieces were made of thick marble. The set was a small treasure in itself. _It must have cost a fortune_ , he thought in shock. But Sirius had tossed the pieces onto the bed quite casually, just as he had done with all of his elaborate clothing.

"I always play Black." He said, grinning. "'Cause I'm Sirius Black. You may go first."

Remus was used to playing chess often. His mother had taught him how when he was only seven, and it was something that the two of them did often in order to pass the time. Their small house was in a wooded area, and they didn't have any neighbors close by, yet his parents didn't like him to go outside much – it brought up too many bad memories. So, he was used to playing calm games of chess, or reading quietly, in order to pass his free time. _Sirius is a decent player, but he's too impulsive. He never takes in the whole board before moving his piece. He acts without examining all of the potential consequences._ It made beating him a rather easy task for Remus.

About half-way through their game, James returned. He strolled over to Remus's bed and stood beside it as if nothing had passed between him and Sirius. Sirius didn't seem to mind James' presence beside him, or at least he didn't show it if he did.

"Check." Remus said, after 45 minutes had passed. Sirius groaned.

"Knight to –"

"No, don't do that, mate." James coached. "He'll take you with his rook."

"I haven't a choice. Remus is actually quite chess savvy."

"What about-? Ehh, you're right."

"Of course, I am." It wasn't long after that before Remus had won.

"Check-mate." Sirius watched in good humor as Remus' queen smashed her chair into his king.


	5. Chapter 4: Sirius Black Turns Eleven

**(James Potter)**

James was roused from his sleep that night to the sound of gasping. He rubbed his eyes and then pushed his long hair off of his forehead as he reached for his glasses on the side table. He moved one side of his bed curtains aside slowly and quietly as he stood up. He listened intently to figure out which of his new dorm mates had been the source of the rather panicked gasps. It didn't take him more than a few seconds to determine that the noise was coming from Sirius' bed. Without hesitating, James moved silently over to the other boy's bed and pulled back the curtains slowly.

"Hey, mate. Are you alight?" He whispered. To James' surprise Sirius looked at him in angered shock.

"Ever heard of privacy, Potter?"

"As a matter of fact, yes I've heard of the concept through my studies in bathroom etiquette." James said without missing a beat. He was pleased to see Sirius break into an unintentional grin. "Nightmare?" Sirius averted his eyes.

"Yeah. It was nothing."

"Oh no you don't." James said sternly. Without invitation, he sat himself down cross-legged facing Sirius on the foot of the bed. "You may not have gathered this from my – er, overreaction – to your comment to Remus earlier, but I tend to be – protective. It's one of my many endearing qualities." He was trying to make Sirius laugh.

"Careful, James. You're dangerously close to dishing out an apology."

"Phew. Thank you kindly for the warning, my good man. I shan't ever veer so perilously near to one again." In the darkness he could still see Sirius rolling his eyes at him. "So what was it about?"

"Did anyone ever tell you that you're nosy? Wait, I'm sure they didn't. You're perfect Potter with Mum and Dad aren't you?"

"I most certainly am." He couldn't help but smile at the thought of his parents doting on him. "Aren't you? I mean aren't you heir to the family fortune and all that jazz?" Sirius seemed to crumple a little against the headboard.

"No. Heir to the Black fortune means insurmountable expectations. I take it being heir to the Potter fortune does not?" James shook his head.

"Nope. Being heir to the Potter fortune is a breeze."

"Ah, well lucky you." Sirius sounded rather bitter, and that had not had been James' intent.

"Well anyway…what was your nightmare about?"

"I had a dream that I had to share a room with this perfect little prat named Potter." And then James understood; Sirius masked his emotions with attempted humor and displaced anger. His mother had told him that some people did that. He looked at Sirius trying to figure out why he had his defenses up so high. It was concerning.

"You don't have to do that, you know." James muttered calmly.

"Do what?"

"Act like nothing can hurt you." Sirius stiffened and his aloof expression faltered for just a second before returning in full force. He was no longer grinning. He was looking at James as if he couldn't quite imagine anyone saying such a thing to him. Sirius seemed to be unsure of how to respond. After a few seconds, he seemed to have made his decision.

"Shows how much you know, James. Nightmares can't hurt anyone. They're like nargles, they aren't real." His voice was full of forced humor as he chose to deflect James' attempt at a deeper friendship. _Forget it. He isn't going to open up._ James got off the bed.

"Suit yourself." He went back over to his own bed and laid down. _Well I tried to help; I tried to be a good friend._

The morning came quickly and James was extremely enthusiastic to begin another day of lessons. It wasn't that he had any particular affinity for school, it was that he couldn't wait to see what each new day in this wondrous castle brought him. His parents had told him so many incredible things about Hogwarts; they'd told him not to waste even a single day he had there for his school years would go by in the blink of an eye. He wanted to live each day to the fullest. He was awake before any of the other three boys, so he was able to get ready first. He rocked up and down on the balls of his feet with pure joy and self-pride as he tied his Gryffindor tie loosely around his unbuttoned collar. He could not be more happy to be a Gryffindor like his father.

When he finished getting ready, he packed up his book bag and plopped down on his bed to wait for the others. _Wake up already_! Nearly five minutes had passed; he couldn't take any more of this wasting time. He crossed over to Sirius' bed and yanked open the left side of the bed curtains. Sirius was sound asleep on his stomach, his left hand under his pillow and his right knee pulled upward. His long dark hair covered most of his face. _How to wake him…A-ha!_

"Wingardium Leviosa" He whispered. Sirius' pillow lifted very gradually into the air until Sirius' head slid off and he awoke. He sprang to his hands and knees on the bed and then onto just his knees looking frantically around until his eyes landed on James.

"Rise and Shine!" James said laughing. At first Sirius looked as if he was going to tackle him, but then his shoulders relaxed and he cracked a grin.

"I'm starving already" he said with a yawn as he stretched his arms upward above his head.

"Good. Get ready quickly so we can head down to breakfast. I'll rouse the others." James turned to go over to Remus' bed, but stopped as he saw his curtains opening. "Morning, Remus!" James called over to the small sandy-haired boy. Remus was sitting on the side of the bed that faced the wall, but he leaned backward around one of the bottom bed posts and gave him a small smile.

"Morning, James." _He's so soft-spoken_.

"We're all heading down to breakfast. You should get ready. We'll wait for you." James had noticed the day before, as they'd made their way from class to class, that Remus didn't seem to understand that they'd wait for him, or that he could walk with them without invitation.

"Thanks" Remus replied, looking incredibly more grateful for the gesture than was required.

 _And now for Peter. Though it's a miracle he hasn't woken up yet._ James circled around and went up to Peter's bed, which was between his own and Sirius'. He drew back the curtains to reveal Peter curled up in a ball fast asleep. His short blond hair was sticking to his forehead.

"Peter! Peter, it's time to wake up."

"Why don't you just levitate the poor bloke's pillow?" Sirius called from the bathroom. James gave a cheerful laugh. Sirius had taken the joke good naturedly, though James didn't think that Peter would have appreciated it.

"Peter!" He said again, this time reaching out and gently shaking the boy's shoulder. Peter stirred and gave a little yawn. Then he turned over onto his back and opened his eyes. He looked immediately taken aback.

"J-James?" He asked.

"Yup! Rise and Shine Buttercup! We want to head down to breakfast." At the mention of breakfast, Peter perked up.

"Okay!" Peter said agreeably. James strolled over to his own bed and collapsed on his back. He couldn't wipe the smile off of his face. _Everyone's up. The day's officially begun. Job well done, James, job well done._

The four boys sat in the same seats at breakfast, and James smiled inwardly that the four of them already had an established seating arrangement. To James' right this morning, sat one of the other first years. He was sure that it wasn't the girl he'd spilt pumpkin juice on; she was a few more seats down. This girl had very red hair.

"Morning" James said cheerfully as he slipped onto the bench beside her. She looked up at him with large bright green eyes and gave him a small smile.

"Good morning" she said back politely. James grinned back and turned to his breakfast.

"Your hair reminds me of orange juice" he commented without really thinking. The girl – what was her name – looked at him startled that he had made such an unusual comment.

"Don't mind him, Lily" said the girl he'd spilt the pumpkin juice on, "He's very rude."

 _Lily! That's her name._

"I'm not rude" James snapped back. "I apologized for spilling on you. Besides, since when is orange juice an insult? I happen to like orange juice." A couple of the other first year girls laughed, but Lily and the long-haired brunette, did not. "Pete, don't you like orange juice?" James asked.

Peter looked at him a little confused; he hadn't heard the rest of their conversation. He'd been busy goggling over the immense variety of pastries with Remus and Sirius.

"Sure" he replied slowly, eager to give what he hoped was the desired answer. "But I prefer apple juice." James rolled his eyes as Lily and pumpkin juice girl giggled.

There was a loud screech as several of the post owls flocked into the Great Hall at once and made their way over to their recipients. James' parents' owl swooped down and landed on the table in front of him.

"Hey Corrine" James said, offering up a bit of his bacon to the large brown owl. His parents had sent him another long letter again today it seemed. _They must be so bored without me around._

"Oh Merlin" Sirius groaned, snatching up the paper that his large black owl had brought along with his letter. He quickly unfolded it and laid it out on the table in front of him. James, who was across the table from Sirius, looked down to see a clear few of Sirius staring back up at him from the bottom corner of the front page. Beside the photograph of Sirius was the heading Black Family Heir Sorted into the Wrong House.

"Is that you?" Peter asked, leaning over diagonally across the table to try and get a closer look at the photo on the paper. The Sirius in the photograph was wearing formal dress robes, and he looked as if he was trying to walk out of the photo.

Sirius shot Peter a vicious glare and then turned his furious attention back to the Daily Prophet. After he finished reading, he thrust the paper aside and began to open his letter. James quickly grabbed the paper and held it so that he and Peter could read the article.

.

 ** _Black Family Heir Sorted into the Wrong House_**

 ** _The first-in-line heir to the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black began his first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry earlier this week. In an ancient sorting ceremony, which many have called its accuracy in judgement into question in the past, the Black heir was sorted into Gryffindor House. The Black family has prided itself on its impeachable status within wizarding society since the Medieval Ages. Records indicate that all members of the House of Black have been sorted into Slytherin House prior to this unfortunate – and dare we say erroneous – sorting. No news yet on how the young Black heir is handling this unfortunate misplacement. Arcturus Black, the current patriarch of this noble family, refused to give comment on the matter. We can assume, however, that the Black Heir is wondering – like the rest of us – why he was not sorted into Slytherin House with the rest of his family._**

 ** _The mother of young Sirius, Lady Walburga Black, has been admirably sticking to her social schedule, despite the added inconveniences that this unfortunate sorting has caused. The high-fashion world continued to benefit from her knowledgeable critique at its latest event in Milan yesterday._**

 ** _To continue reading, see page six under Who's Who Weekly of Celebrity Gossip._**

 ** _For more on the ancient sorting ceremony, and its questionable validity, see page ten._**

 _._

When James looked up from the article, he saw that Sirius was hastily shoving his crumpled up letter into his school bag. James handed the newspaper over to Remus so that he could read the article as well.

"I don't understand why they wrote that you're in the wrong house" Peter began slowly. Sirius turned on him with a death glare.

"Don't you know who I am?" he growled, standing up and yanking the paper out of Remus' hands.

Before any of them could say anything, Sirius had stalked away from them making his way towards the exit. James watched him as he crossed the hall. As he walked the length of the long house table, the Slytherins seemed to catch on to the scene. Many of them were waving the front page of the paper at him, and even more were calling out insults. Sirius only hesitated a moment before continuing to make his way out of the hall, ignoring them.

James wanted to yell back at the Slytherins for making fun of Sirius, but there wasn't really any time to. Their cruel antics stopped the minute Sirius had left the Great Hall.

"Why" asked Peter, "does he keep asking me if I know who he is? Is he really a legend?"

James couldn't help but laugh at his new friend's slowness.

"No, Peter. That was a joke. He said it because you kept asking him stupid questions."

"Oh." Peter muttered, looking ashamed. It made James feel bad.

"Sorry. I just mean, it was pretty obvious that he's the Black heir seeing as it was his picture under the heading, don't you think?" _And his last name is Black. And you know that everyone in his family was in Slytherin except him. And he was clearly upset by it._

"Oh… Yes, but it was upside down, and I was just asking."

"It's fine, Peter. He was more mad at it than at you" James assured him.

* * *

 **(Peter Pettigrew)**

Peter made his way rather nervously out to the one of the courtyards alongside James and Remus. The air was still warm, but there was a crisp morning breeze that carried with it the scent of freshly cut grass. Their first lesson of the day was a flying lesson.

Peter wasn't nervous about getting back on a broomstick. In fact, he was looking forward to the flying lesson more than any other lesson. What he was nervous about, was the fact that he hadn't been on a broomstick for almost a year, and he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of anyone. Peter was used to being picked on in school. He knew he was slow sometimes, and that he wasn't the most athletic; still, that didn't change the fact that he hoped things would be different here at Hogwarts. James was so cool, and if he still thought Peter was cool enough to be his friend, Peter didn't want to ruin that now.

James had been confidently declaring that this first part of the day could not be considered a lesson because flying was so effortless and fun. Peter didn't agree, and from the nervous look on Remus' face, he didn't either. Despite leaving breakfast a little early, they were not even close to the first students to arrive. It seemed that many of the first years were just as eager as James was to fly.

As James wound his way around the broomsticks laying in rows on the grass, attempting to find the best one, Peter and Remus hung back with the other students.

"Have you flown much?" Peter asked Remus quietly. He didn't want any of the other students to know that he had only flown twice, but he didn't mind Remus knowing. Remus didn't seem the type to make fun of anyone. He was too quiet and shy for that; it was a large part of why Peter liked him.

The sandy-haired boy looked down at him with wary eyes.

"Never."

 _Oh wow. That's even worse than only twice._ Still, Peter wanted to be comforting.

"I'm sure you're not the only one. None of the muggleborns will have ever flown before either."

At that, Remus did seem to perk up a little. He'd been eyeing the brooms longingly, but was clearly too self-conscious to want to show it.

"Thank you, Peter" he replied in a voice so soft-spoken that Peter wouldn't have been able to make out what he'd said if it had not been for the fact that he could read his lips.

Peter looked around and saw by the accent colors of the robes that their flying lesson was shared with the Slytherins, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs as well. He could recognize a few of the students from the classes he had taken with them yesterday.

"I found the best one here at least" James announced as he walked back over to the two of them triumphantly. He was carrying a worn – but not as worn as many of the others – broomstick in his right hand. "You'd think that if they were going to have us take lessons as first years, then they could have allowed us to bring our own brooms, yeah?"

Remus gave a small non-committal shrug, and Peter nodded.

"I don't have a broomstick though" Peter added, and James looked at him as if he'd just told him he had the plague.

"Why?" James breathed, when the initial shock of this news had subsided enough for him to speak.

"I-I don't fly that much." _And broomsicks aren't cheap._ "My mum thinks it's dangerous."

James burst out laughing.

"Well… I mean" James managed, "I mean walking down stairs is dangerous too if you're a klutz, but flying isn't dangerous. …Quidditch is dangerous, but flying…" he looked up at the blue sky overhead for effect, "…flying is just wonderful."

"Don't listen to that" a girl interrupted. It was Rene O'Leary. The five Gryffindor girls were standing only a couple feet from them, and Rene had apparently felt that she was welcome to join into their conversation. James, Remus, and Peter looked at her in surprise. "Flying can be quite dangerous whether you're playing Quidditch or not. You could fall off your broom, or be blown into a tree, or –"

"D'you actually know anyone who those things have happened to?" James cut in, sounding annoyed.

"Yes" Rene replied promptly. James gave a shrug and a smirk.

"Well then they must have been terrible flyers. Here, Pete, I'll rephrase for the sake of O'Leary. Flying isn't dangerous so long as you have below average intelligence enough to hold on and think the directions 'up, down, left', and 'right'. You'll be fine, mate. O'Leary," he raised his hand in salute to her, "best of luck to you. Up is the one towards the sky."

"Sky is the one that's blue" came the confident voice of one Sirius Black as he loped his way over to them, a wide smirk on his face. James laughed and threw an arm around his new friend's shoulders. Rene gawked at them, unable to believe that they were so rude to her.

"You two are so rude" Violet Silverpin reprimanded, her long golden hair blowing in the breeze.

"I was just wishing her luck" James replied, feigning innocence terribly. He did come off quite arrogant and rude, if Peter was honest. Then he looked towards Lily. "Hey orange juice, best of luck to you too. Show O'Leary how it's done."

Lily looked affronted.

"Come on, Rene. Let's go over there. I'll introduce you to my friend Sev. He isn't rude like Potter at all." Lily, Rene, and Violet walked off in the direction of a small group of Slytherin boys. Anne and Carina didn't walk away, but they didn't continue to talk to the four Gryffindor boys either. James looked confused, and Sirius looked amused.

"Cooled off, have you, Legend? You got here at the perfect time." James grinned. Sirius stepped out from under James' arm.

"I wanted some air." He looked over at Peter, and Peter couldn't help but feel intimidated by him. He was tall and loud, and he just shown with a casual self-confidence that Peter knew he would never be able to achieve. "For the record, yes I'm the Black heir. Not sure how you missed that. My whole family's been in Slytherin except me. That's why I'm the best."

The flying lesson turned out to be quite a chaotic ordeal. It started off organized enough with each student lined up beside their broomstick. Madam Walters had instructed them to each kick off from the ground at the sound of her whistle. This worked for most of the students, whose brooms rose a few feet into the air and hovered. Peter was thrilled that he was one of the students whose broomsticks obediently rose off of the ground.

While Madam Walters walked down the long line of students to assist them, James and Sirius seemed to have an unspoken competition going between them to see which of them could raise on their broomstick higher without Madam Walters noticing. First James would fly a couple inches higher vertically, then Sirius a little higher than James. Each of them holding in their laughter so that they wouldn't be detected. The two of them were a good three feet above the heads of the other students before a few of the students in the other houses called attention to them.

Madam Walters spun around; her face went from worry to anger as she saw that James and Sirius were in perfect control of their broomsticks.

"Get down here this instant" she called, rushing over to them. Both boys obeyed, skillfully dismounting their brooms when they were low enough to the ground. "What do you two think you are doing? "

"Professor, I've been flying since I was five" James told her. "I'm not going to fall off." He shot a sideways look at Rene.

"That is no excuse for disobeying instructions. I will not have anyone showing off in my class."

"You call hovering showing off?" James shot back with a laugh. "Wait until you see me play Quidditch."

Peter was sure he wasn't the only one who found the remark to be egotistical. He looked over at the three Gryffindor girls who had walked away from them earlier. Each of them looked like they already couldn't stand James's blunt arrogance. Apart from a few of the boys, who snickered, no one looked amused – Madam Walters least of all.

"That will be a very long time from now, Mr. Potter, I assure you. Don't let me see either of you disobeying instructions again or you will spend the remainder of the lesson firmly on the ground. Do you understand?"

"Yes" James answered with a heavy sigh. She turned her attention to Sirius, who was standing beside James, looking bored.

"Explicitly" Sirius retorted with a smirk. As soon as Madam Walters turned her back to them, Sirius nudged James in the side. "She doesn't want to **see** us disobeying; that's not the same as not disobeying, yeah?" he whispered, his eyes gleaming with mischievous excitement. James broke into a huge smile.

"That sounds like an accurate interpretation of what she said, mate. Yeah. Bet I can get higher than you this time without her seeing."

"Not a chance."

They were back on their brooms, and a couple of feet above everyone else again before Peter had a chance to blink. Beside Peter, Remus was looking very uneasy over the whole situation.

"Madam Walters" a Slytherin girl said in a sickly sweet voice. "Those two Gryffindor boys are flying again." But James and Sirius had heard her, and they were back to the instructed hovering height before Madam Walters could turn to see them. The smiled innocently, looking around at nothing in particular, feigning innocence. It made Peter laugh out loud.

After that, James and Sirius seemed to take it as a personal challenge to continue to fly without getting caught. They didn't even get annoyed with the other students as they called them out on it to Madam Walters. They flew higher and higher, and James did a frontward flip with his broom to show off at one point. Many of the students on their end of the line saw it as a game; half of them would try to get them caught, and the other half tried to help keep a lookout for them. Madam Walters evidently wasn't the most observant teacher at the school.

"Guess now we know why he's not in Slytherin. He's an idiot" Emerald Vanity, a Slytherin girl with very short dark hair, said aloud to the group.

"Guess we know why you **are** in Slytherin" Sirius shot back, almost yelling, "You're a meretricious bitch."

"Black!" Madam Walters yelled from several yards away from him. Everyone there had heard him lose his temper. She stormed over to their side of the line, her long robes billowing out behind her. "I will not tolerate that kind of language in my class. Off your broom. You are done for the lesson."

"She started it!" James exclaimed on Sirius' behalf.

"And you!" Madam Walters said, rounding on him. "Off your broom as well. Both of you, put your broomsticks away in the cupboard and then watch the remainder of the lesson on the ground.

The lesson progressed. Peter felt bad that the two of them had to watch the rest of the lesson rather than fly; yet, whenever he looked over at James and Sirius, he saw that they were laughing and otherwise enjoying themselves. Peter looked at Remus, who was wearing a huge smile, hovering four feet from the ground. Peter inched his broomstick up a little to get level with him; it was a surprisingly easy task.

"Hey, Remus" Peter said, joining him with a warm smile. Remus grinned shyly back. "I can't wait until she lets us do more than hover."

"Me too" Remus replied, any audibility of his words lost on the wind.

* * *

 **(James Potter)**

The remainder of the first week passed relatively smoothly. James was satisfied with the level of exploring that they'd achieved each night, as well as the impressions he'd made upon each of his professors: witty and rather prone to pranks, yet notably clever and talented. James was also satisfied with his dorm companions.

First there was Peter, who very openly idolized him. Peter was kind, fun, and very talkative once he got going. He laughed at pranks, and even had a few entertaining ideas for additional pranking. At times it could grow a bit taxing to have someone constantly seeking his approval, but James couldn't help but be flattered. Thus, being flattered, he had an unusual amount of patience for Peter. Peter seemed just thrilled to call himself friends with James, and so James felt the same in return. Peter was undoubtedly the easiest to be around out of his three dorm-mates. He didn't have to pull teeth to talk to him, or go out of his way to prove to him that he was welcome among their little group. Nor did he have to reign in his childish enthusiasm or blunt naivety. He could be completely himself and know that Peter wasn't going to mock or judge him for it.

Secondly there was Remus, who he couldn't quite figure out even after a week of living with him. Remus was painstakingly shy to put it lightly, but James had a feeling that he was braver than he seemed; he was, after all, in Gryffindor. Besides, Remus was very studious and clever, which came in handy whenever he needed to cross check his homework with someone. And Remus was nice, very exceedingly nice and patient, even to Peter, and that had to count for quite a lot.

Lastly, there was Sirius Black. It had been effortless to become friends with Sirius, who seemed to be so much like him in recklessness and spirit. There were times, however, when he wondered if there was more, like with Remus, to Sirius too. Sirius got so angry so quickly – often times at people who had done nothing to warrant such a reaction, and he masked any form of negative emotion – other than anger – with wry humor. He'd lash out for the smallest of things. Then, of course, there was the obvious sense of entitlement that he carried from being the heir to the house of Black; yet, save for the few unintentionally off-color comments that Sirius made, James was quite certain that his new friend was not a pureblood supremacist.

That Sunday James rose, as usual, before the rest. He washed and readied, and then he worked on some of his Transfiguration homework. Then he moved on to his Charms paper. Finally, James could put it off no longer. He crossed the room diagonally to Sirius' bed.

"Sirius." He whispered. "Wake up or I'm going to levitate you off of the bed." No response. _Well, I gave a fair warning_. James stifled his laugh as he held up his wand. "Wingardium Leviosa." He was so happy that he'd graduated from books and pillows to whole people. Sirius lifted off of the bed – one inch, two inches, five inches, eight inches.

"Potter, you prat." Sirius had woken up, but he sounded quite relaxed despite floating in midair. "Set me down gently this time." James lowered the other boy back down and released him from the spell.

"It was only because you startled me yesterday" James defended.

"I startled you by waking up as you were trying to wake me up?"

"Oh shut-it."

"Can't a guy even sleep in on his birthday?" Sirius teased as he reconnected with the bed.

"It's your birthday?!" This was such wonderful news. If there was one thing that James Potter loved almost as much as Quidditch, it was birthdays.

"Yeah. Jeez, calm down. Don't get your perfect panties in a bundle."

"You liar. Where are all of your presents?" Sirius did not hesitate.

"Presents are for children." James narrowed his eyes at him. _Is this guy serious or what?_

"Is it really your birthday?"

"Yes."

"But-"

"I told you. Presents are for children."

"Oh, and are you turning 83 today and we didn't know about it?"

Sirius cracked a grin.

"Yes. I've been using Polyjuice all along, and now you've found me out, Potter."

"Eh, creepy. ….Well I wish you'd have told me. I would have sent for a gift."

"I met you seven days ago. When exactly would have been an appropriate time? 'Hi, I'm Sirius Black. And my birthday is on **Sunday** , so be sure to send for a gift…. Enjoying your pumpkin juice James? By the way, my birthday's on Sunday. I'm expecting **a gift**.'" Sirius couldn't continue he was now laughing so hard. His laugh was one of those contagious ones that no one could be around without laughing themselves, and so James was soon doubled over laughing as well.

It was only a minute before their uproarious laughter woke up Remus and Peter. James recovered first while Sirius was still sprawled out on the bed gasping for air.

"It's Sirius' birthday. Don't worry, I've already checked to see that he's not kidding…apparently presents are for children, which this grown man over here is not."

"Happy Birthday!" Peter and Remus both said, Peter much more loudly and excitedly than Remus.

"I do wish I'd known" said Peter. "I would have gotten a gift."

"I wasn't expecting anything. Don't worry about it." Sirius chuckled. "Now that I'm up though, I would like some breakfast."

A short while later the four boys sat seated in the Great Hall at what was now becoming their regular place at the Gryffindor table. Two owls flew down towards them when the mail arrived; both were for Sirius. One was the large black owl that belonged to Sirius' parents, which had brought him at least one letter every day since his arrival. The other was a white snowy owl, which was carrying a letter and a large wrapped package.

Sirius fed the birds some of his bacon as a thanks, favoring the snowy owl that had brought the package. When the owls took flight, Sirius disregarded his parents' letter and went directly to the letter from the other owl. He opened the letter rather hastily and read it through very quickly. James watched as Sirius' eyes darted across the parchment. And then he let out a sigh of relief and reread the letter much slower, a wide smile emerging on his face. Then, in stark contrast to his usual immediate and rather aggressive disposal of his letters, Sirius folded the letter back up very carefully and tucked it away into an inside pocket of his robes.

Then he turned to his package, biting his bottom lip with excitement. He un-wrapped the shimmering silver paper very quickly to reveal a cardboard box. James watched eagerly as his friend opened the box and let out a loud whoop of sheer delight. Many people looked over, but Sirius paid them no mind. He reached into the large box and pulled out … _What? Excited over that?_ It was a very large, very old and worn textbook. The title on the front was originally gold, but it was so faded that he could barely make out the writing. Sirius looked elated and he immediately opened the book and began skimming through its pages, stopping every so often on one to read a full page.

"Er, Sirius?" James didn't want to knock Sirius' present, but what the heck was he so bloody excited about an old book for? Sirius looked around at the three of them, beaming.

"What's it look like to you?" He asked not sounding in the least bit sarcastic, despite the nature of his inquiry.

"Excuse me?" James asked before looking over at the others. Remus and Peter looked equally as confused. Sirius laughed so loud and cheerfully that he almost fell backward off the bench.

"What is it I'm holding in my hands? Tell me as if I'm blind." He held the book out to them.

"A textbook. A very old big worn-out textbook. I can't even make out the title."

" _Wizarding Family Lineages_ , I think it says" answered Remus. Again, Sirius gave a whoop of joy.

"Oh, even better! They'll love it!"

"Can you explain please. Who'll love it? Why are you so excited about an old textbook?" James asked.

"It's not a textbook" Sirius explained, clearly unable to wipe the smile off of his face. "It's…oh, I wish I could show you, but I can't. I don't know how to put the spell back on it if I took it off. Oh and you're all so close to it and you can't even tell. She did such an excellent job!" He was downright giddy.

"I still don't understand." Peter muttered.

"Alright, alright. Well first off, it's not what you see. It's what **I** see. What it really is is this muggle book on the mechanics of transportation machines. You know, motors and planes and all of that." He squealed with happiness again. "I love to learn about the motors and the mechanics the muggles use. It's fascinating. And they do it all without magic, and it's just – well it's incredible. Only if I ever brought anything muggle-ish into my house, my parents would freak. And so she's disguised it with a spell. Only the intended reader can see it for what it really is. It's usually used for…you know… certain magazines. And she made it look like a book on lineage; oh my parents may actually even **like** it."

"Ohhh" James exclaimed. "Okay, this makes much more sense now. I have to say, mate, I was a bit concerned." Sirius laughed and hugged the massive book to his chest. _Though, I wasn't expecting muggle book to be on the list of most exciting presents either._

"This is the best thing **ever**. There is no way I'm going to be able to get any homework done for the rest of the month."

"What else is in there? I see more." James asked; he loved watching people open presents as much as he loved receiving them himself. James saw that Sirius looked surprised.

"But this was already…" But he trailed off as he saw the remaining contents of the box. His mouth actually dropped open as he took a Gryffindor scarf out of the box and held it up in front of himself. James didn't understand why he looked so shocked and happy, but he was still glad that his friend was enjoying his gifts. Sirius looked from James to Remus to Peter, as if his expression alone was supposed to communicate to them some special meaning for the scarf.

"It's very nice." Remus said politely. Sirius gleefully wrapped the scarf around his neck despite the fact that they were quite warm and comfortable inside a castle in early September. Sirius looked back into the box; there were at least two dozen chocolate frogs inside, along with liquorish wands, Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans, Ice Mice, Sugar Quills, liquorish wands, and more.

 _Finally somebody sent this kid some candy._ However, unlike James, Sirius did not immediately offer his sweets to the rest of them. James, who had been looking inside with Sirius, seeing as the large box was between them, noticed a weird gum as well.

"What's this?" James asked. "I've never seen this candy before?"

"I've seen those." Peter answered, eager to assist James, just as Sirius snatched the small package from his hands and tossed it back into the box. "My mum uses them when she – when she wants to lose weight. It's supposed to make you less hungry."

James laughed.

"So she" _whoever 'she' is_ , "sends you a year's supply of candy, probably figures you'll gain fifteen pounds and have to go on a diet." James found it hilarious.

Sirius' grin had faded, but it returned once more from James' comment.

"Yeah, I guess so. We Blacks have got to stay looking our best."

"Mhmm," James said, rolling his eyes. "So I thought you said presents were for children. Pardon my astute observation, but this here box seems an awfully lot like a birthday present."

"Drommie's different." Sirius explained. "She likes to spoil people." _Spoil? How can one present be considered spoiling on one's birthday?_

"Drommie?" Peter asked.

"Andromeda Bla- **Tonks**. My cousin." He looked back at James. "She's Narcissa and Bella's older sister, only you'd never know it. She's my best cousin by far. Ran off after graduation and married a muggleborn from Hufflepuff. And they had a baby. Of course, she's cut off from all her inheritance now" his face fell, "which is why she really shouldn't be spending this much. Especially with a baby."

Sirius turned back to the box and took out a photo. He spent a long time staring at it and grinning before turning it round to show the others proudly.

"Meet my first cousin once removed. Nymphadora Tonks." He was positively beaming. James stared at the photo.

"Bloody hell! Is your cousin wonky?" Sirius pulled back the photo, glowering at James.

"Don't talk about my cousin like that!"

"Not the baby. The mum. Drommie. Why'd she dye her baby's hair magenta?" James explained.

"Oh. Yeah, I guess I should have mentioned…" Sirius said laughing. "Dora's a Metamorphmagus."

"Ohh" James exclaimed. "That's brilliant! Let me see the photo again." Sirius narrowed his eyes as if to give a playful warning that no more accusations about his 'best cousin's' sanity were to be made.

"I like her hair that color." Remus said. "She looks adorable."

"Thank you." Sirius said with a purposeful look at James. " **That** , Potter, was an appropriate response.

"How old is she?" Peter asked.

"One and half" Sirius answered proudly. He tucked the photograph of the giggling baby into his robes with the letter. "When I inherit, I'm going to give Drommie half."

"When you inherit what?" asked Peter. James chuckled.

"Everything" Sirius said with a shrug, once again admiring his new scarf.

After breakfast, they returned to the dormitory so that Sirius could deposit his gifts. He packed away the sweets and the letter, draped his scarf over his trunk – 'so I can look at it' he'd said - , pinned the photo of his baby cousin to the wall near is bed, and then flopped backwards on the bed so that his head was by the footboard to read his new book.

"Don't you want to go out and **do** something?" James asked Sirius for the tenth time.

"No, now stop pestering the birthday boy while he's reading his present."

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

Author's Note: I know Bellatrix is older than Andromeda in canon, but I thought the story would be more interesting if Andromeda was out of school and Bellatrix was still in school.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! :-)


	6. Chapter 5: The First of Many

**(Remus Lupin)**

It was bright and early on the second Thursday morning of the school year when Remus and the others made their way down the corridor to their Transfiguration lesson. It was a particularly warm day for September and James and Sirius were complaining loudly that classes had not been cancelled due to the occasion. They took their usual seats; Remus and Peter sitting in front of James and Sirius. Remus had to admit that sitting near James and Sirius in classes was rather distracting, seeing as the two of them never felt much of a need to not carry on a side conversation or pull harmless pranks on others in the classroom – such as turning the tips of Lily Evan's hair neon blue. Still, they were accepting of him, and that definitely took precedent in his list of priorities: friends above taking perfect notes.

Transfiguration lessons were taught by their head of house, Professor McGonagall. Remus liked her the most out of all of his teachers thus far; she was strict but fair, and she taught her subject at a rather brisk but helpful pace.

"Today we will be transfiguring a matchstick into a needle." She then proceeded to give notes on the basics of casting the spell, including proper pronunciation and wand movement. They were then instructed to make their attempts while she wandered the classroom offering advice to various students.

"This is silly" Sirius said. "I'd rather be reading my motors book."

"Well, maybe you should drop out and become a muggle mechanic then" James teased.

 _And the talking begins…_ The studious side of Remus told him that he should be bothered and annoyed by it. Yet, the other part of him loved to be so near to others. Even when he wasn't a part of their conversation, he still took enjoyment from it. By now he knew that if he were to join in on their conversation, that he would be welcome. It was an incredible foreign feeling of inclusiveness – one he just wanted to soak in. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have found such people to think of as friends. For that was how he thought of them now – though he wasn't confident in it enough to voice such an attachment aloud. Friends. Hours of exploring the castle in the dead of night under James' invisibility cloak, along with sharing a bedroom, and spending each day together had made Remus dare to think of these three as friends.

"When are we ever going to need to do this in real life?" Sirius complained. "I mean honestly. Can you think of **any** situation where we are going to be like 'oh no, I really feel like sewing but all I have is this stupid wooden match'?"

Remus held in his laugh. Peter had turned around in his chair now, easily distracted by the other two.

"Maybe if someone's got a hole in their trousers and they've got a big meeting coming up…" Peter began, grinning.

"Yes" James picked up with a tone of mock seriousness. "At the Ministry. And they'll have to stand in front of hundreds of people with a gaping hole in their crotch if they don't sew up their pants…"

"And for some bloody reason, the idiot can't remember a simple 'repairo' spell." Sirius chimed in, poking a hole in their plotline.

"Yes, the poor bloke flunked Charms. Got a T on his O.W.L., so now he's stuck there about to go into this meeting…." James continued.

"And he fishes around in his pockets and all he finds is this little matchstick." Peter said laughing and holding his own match up between two fingers. "Probably what made the hole in the first place."

"Yes, precisely!" James said, quite enthralled. "And so now he has to take the problem and transfigure it into the solution"

"Which is really the moral of the story" Remus chimed in, unable to help himself. James positively beamed at him in surprise.

"Yes!" continued Peter, "And so he does this spell, and mends the hole and now he gets to give his speech with dignity."

"Violà!" James said as he kissed his fingertips and then opened his hand to the air. "A perfect scenario for when this spell will be needed in the future."

"You're all wonky, you know that?" Sirius said smirking. "Where'd he get the thread?"

"What?" Peter asked.

"How'd the dumb bloke sew up his pants without string if all he found in his pocket was a bloody matchstick?"

"You prat." James smirked. Sirius lounged back in his chair lazily. He raised his hand and Professor McGonagall came swiftly over.

"Professor, when are we going to use this in real life?" Sirius asked, sounding exceptionally bored.

"It is quite likely that you will not be transfiguring matchsticks into needles, Mr. Black. However, this transformation is a building block to help students master more difficult transfigurations in the future. It's the fundamentals of the process that are important to learn here. Texture, color, material."

"Told you" Sirius exclaimed at James.

"But Professor," James said grinning "that's not to say that this spell couldn't **ever** come in handy someday right? I mean there could be a scenario in which one would have to transfigure a match into a needle?"

"Oh, like if it was about to start a fire!" Peter exclaimed, causing most of the other students to look over at them now. "And so you have to quickly change it to metal before it can catch fire and blow something up."

"What **I** was getting at, Professor," Sirius continued, drawing the attention back to himself, and sounding unbelievably entitled, "is that I'd appreciate it if you could teach me something a bit more advanced. Something that I'll actually use." But his request was a bit too insolent for even Professor McGonagall's patience. Remus' mouth almost dropped open.

"Mr. Black." She sounded quite angry. "I have never had a student speak to me in such a rude and ignorant manner. Five points from Gryffindor. And –" But he interrupted her.

"I don't mean anything bad by it, Professor." Sirius said in alarm, and Remus was given the impression that he truly had not realized he had been being rude. "It's just that I want to learn as much as I can, and well… I don't need a whole lesson to learn this spell that I'm never even going to use again."

"It is not for students, particularly first year students, to determine what is and is not worth learning in my classroom. Three night's detention, Mr. Black." Sirius made to argue but James grabbed ahold of his arm.

"So sorry, professor." James apologized for Sirius. "He understands that now. He does."

"I will see you in my office at eight o'clock" she said sternly to Sirius and walked off.

"You sodding idiot" James hissed angrily. "You just lost us five points. What's the matter with you?" Sirius' expression however, was rather one of innocent shock.

"How was I supposed to know she'd take it like **that**? It was a real request. That's what the professors are here for isn't it? To teach?"

"She **is** teaching. You insulted her lesson. And you haven't even attempted the spell to see if you need a day or a week to learn it."

"Oh, relax, Potter. I didn't insult her. Believe me, if I had been trying to insult her there would have been a lot more choice language. Besides, it's a simple spell. Watch." Sirius picked up his wand from the desk, straightened in his chair, paused for a moment, and then said the spell. Remus watched as the small wooden matchstick elongated and narrowed, changing into a cylindrical shape, the texture of which was now shiny and silver with a point at one end and a tiny threading hole at the other. "See?" He said, staring down at his perfect needle.

"How'd you do that?" Peter exclaimed. "How'd you do that on the first try? I've tried six times and mine's still made of wood." Sirius picked up his needle and strode confidently up to Professor McGonagall, who was now seated at her desk. Remus watched as she looked up at him, her eyes slightly narrowed in annoyance. Sirius placed the needle in front of her.

"How'd I do?" She picked up the needle and inspected it carefully, and, to Remus' immense surprise, she seemed to be fighting back a small thin smile.

"Not bad for your first attempt, Mr. Black. It is thoroughly a needle. However, your originality of craftsmanship could use significant improvement. Anyone knowing this spell could have produced this needle from a match. Next time, show me a needle that only you can create."

Remus expected Sirius to argue the impressiveness of what he had accomplished, but he did not. Instead, he gave a rather appreciative grin.

"I'll do that" he said, picking up his needle and returning back to his desk. He spent the rest of the lesson highly focused on adding unique engraved detail to the tiny metal cylinder. Remus was overjoyed when his matchstick finally became fully a needle on his fourth try. Behind him, James must have succeeded as well, because he let out a cheer. Looking around the rest of the room, Remus saw that not everyone was having the same level of success. However, he noticed that a mostly red-haired Gryffindor girl, Lily Evans, was adding detail to her perfectly transformed needle as well.

* * *

 **(James Potter)**

James closed his Transfiguration book with a lazy smile. _One down._ He scooped up his books and stuck his new beloved wand into his back pocket and rose to make his way out of the classroom with the rest of the class. Peter was at his heels; following James around seemed to be his new favorite past time. James wasn't sure if he found it more annoying or endearing, but he figured time would tell. Sirius and Remus were a few people in front of them. Once in the hall, he added a few inches to each of his steps so that he could catch up to them on his way to their next class: Potions.

"…probably not a good idea" Remus was saying softly.

"What's not a good idea?" Peter asked, breathing a little heavy because he was shorter than James and he had had to jog a little to catch up to the others.

"Never you mind" Sirius said, a wild grin on his face. "I think it's a brilliant idea, Remus, and I'm going to do it."

"You aren't going to make Gryffindor lose any more points are you?" James asked as more of a warning. Sirius shrugged.

"Nah, ole Sluggy won't even know it was me."

"I want in. Maybe then I can actually keep Gryffindor from losing more points."

"Is that why, Potter? I confess I'm disappointed. I thought you had a love for the art of pranks to rival my own. But if not…"

"I want in. Tell me already before we get there." Sirius gave a devilish smirk and lowered his voice to reveal his plan.

It was a creative prank, James had to admit. Though, they'd surely be in trouble if they were caught. "What's life without a little risk?" Sirius had said. _True. Very true._

Potions class began the same as usual. Slughorn dished out a few notes, and tried to make it interesting by adding a little incentive: whoever brewed the most successful potion of the class would earn themselves a slice of the chocolate cake that a witch down in Hogsmeade had made him for his birthday.

"No thank you" Sirius had muttered under his breath when the slice had been displayed. _Agreed._ James had thought with a smirk. Taking food from Slughorn just didn't seem appetizing, nor did eating cake from a mystery provider. He glanced around the room though. Some students were definitely on equal ground as he was about the cake, whereas others, such as Peter, seemed to be quite anxious to prove himself and win the dessert. Remus seemed positively indifferent to the incentive, most likely due to the fact that potions was his worst subject, and so he assumed that he would not have a chance at winning whether he wanted the reward or not.

All through the beginning of the lesson, James kept an eye out for the perfect Slytherin target. There was one boy who had elected to share a table with the red-headed Gryffindor girl – _Orange Juice. What was her name?_ _Some kind of flower…Lily. Lily Evans._ The assignment that day had required each student to use their own caldron and work individually, which was in fact perfect. He wouldn't want to terrorize a Gryffindor, of course. _But that one…how dare he partner up with her, like he's not all slithery and vile like the rest of the Slytherins._ The more he stared at the boy, the easier it was to dislike him. He was strange looking with milky skin and greasy black hair that looked as if he hadn't showered in weeks. His hooked nose was much too large for his face, and he wore an expression that revealed way too much concentration for class. His movements were odd as well, almost twitchy, like he wasn't quite sure how to move without jerking. And he was standing much too close to Evans than any slimy Slytherin should. James nudged Sirius with his elbow and discretely pointed his eyes towards the boy. Sirius watched the Slytherin for a moment, deciding if he was worthy to be subject to a prank. After a minute's observation, Sirius gave an almost unnoticeable nod.

The class continued as they waited for the potions to reach the desired state. Sirius slipped a hand into his pocket and looked pointedly at James as he stepped over to Remus' and Peter's table.

"Professor!" James called as planned. Slughorn looked up and was at his table in an instant.

"Yes, Mr. Potter! Do you have a question?"

Thinking on his toes, James resorted to the foolproof method of flattery. He was careful not to look over Slughorn's shoulder at what he knew Sirius was about to pull off. James was just asking Slughorn if he had had an enjoyable birthday when there was a gasp from the Slytherin boy, followed by an even louder clanking as the boy's caldron began to boil up violently. The stirrer went spinning around frantically, threatening to go flying from the pewter pot. Slughorn spun around in bewilderment, and James was able to take in the scene.

The boy reached out to grab the stirrer just as the caldron boiled up and over, scorching his hand. He let the stirrer go with a yelp of pain and it clattered to the stone floor. His earthy-colored potion was now overflowing on all sides of the caldron and pouring onto the table and the floor. The boy looked terrified and confused, holding his hand out as large unusual welts began to form on it, and Lily was looking on in horror. The whole class was staring. All at once, as if to be the cherry on top of a delicious ice cream, the piece of chocolate cake went whirring through the air on a bit of an impromptu addition on Sirius' part and it hit the Slytherin boy straight in the face, smothering it in a rich brown sugary mess. The room was laughing, Gryffindors and Slytherins alike, and even Slughorn had a bit of a guilty grin on his face; only the boy and Lily seemed to be distraught over the incident.

Slughorn regained his sense of professionalism and vanished the potion immediately. He sent the boy off to the hospital wing for the matron to set his hand back in order. He left in a glowering rage, his face still smothered in chocolate cake.

"Yes, yes. Potions mishaps are all very funny now and again. Too bad we lost our cake though, eh?" Professor Slughorn addressed them with a smile. "Back to work now. We've still got five more minutes."

Sirius returned to the table that he and James shared, his face void of any traceable guilt.

"Suppose he'll have to wash that greasy hair of his now, won't he?" Sirius murmured as he stirred his own perfectly brewed potion. "I think I did him a favor."

The class ended shortly and James could hardly exclaim his praises to Sirius fast enough.

"That was bloody brilliant! Adding the cake into it was genius! Simply genius!" He was shaking Sirius' shoulders from behind, barely able to keep his voice down. Sirius looked around at him with a triumphant grin.

"And no house points lost. It's time you trusted my skills as an artist, Potter."

"It was perfect!" Peter laughed, "Even Slughorn thought it was funny."

"That's because it was funny" Sirius said patricianly. "Don't you think, Remus?" Their other dorm-mate was looking at them with a mild look of disgust as he walked a few feet behind them. He glanced up at Sirius, his eyes wide with the fear of displeasing him; he clearly hadn't realized the expression he'd been wearing. Remus hesitated before responding.

"It was, but…"

"But what?" Sirius asked when Remus trailed off. _Seems to have a habit of trailing off when he thinks he's going to say something we don't want to hear._

"Well, it was rather mean, don't you think?" His voice was almost pleading, as if he thought that they'd attack him for disagreeing with them. Sirius gave a hardy laugh.

"Hardly, mate."

"He did seem rather put out" Peter mused. "But who cares? It was all in good fun. No one got hurt or anything."

"He went to the hospital wing" Remus piped up again.

"Yeah" Sirius said, shrugging carelessly. "I didn't plan for that though. It's not like I made the idiot reach his hand over the boiling caldron."

"That's very true, mate" James agreed. "One cannot be blamed for the folly of others."

"Precisely."

"Don't you agree, Remus?" James asked expectantly, knowing that, like Peter, Remus would hate to disagree with him. Remus hesitated, and moved his eyes to stare at the floor.

"I-I suppose so."

"Marvelous! What shall we plan for Charms?" James asked.

* * *

 **(James Potter)**

James lay on his stomach propped up with his elbows as he wrote a letter back to his parents. The day had been simply marvelous and full of laughter as he and Sirius pulled a prank in each class. Sirius was spending his evening in detention with Professor McGonagall for insulting her lesson – _best leave that part out of the letter._ Peter was showering, and now he was alone in the room with the quietest of his new friends. James put down his quill and moved his carefully balanced ink bottle from the bed to the night table. _It's best to take advantage of such opportunities._ James had always been taught that friendships needed to be nurtured. He felt not quite content in his room knowing that the other boy was too shy to barely speak to him. It just didn't make for perfection, and if there was one thing that James Potter was used to in his life, it was having things as he wanted.

He rose and walked over to the sandy-haired boy who was sitting propped up in his bed, half covered with his blankets, doing the assigned reading for Charms. James Potter walked with all the confidence and self-assurance that only someone who had been raised in a happy loving worry-free home could have; for no matter what obstacles life would throw his way, James knew that his parents – his family – would always be there to fall back on and to love and support him. He had nothing to fear from life, and every good thing in the world to experience waiting at his fingertips. The world was good. The world was safe. The world was exciting.

"Hey, mate." His words seemed to startle Remus, who looked up at him with slight trepidation.

"Hey."

"I feel like we should get to know one another a bit more. Don't you agree?" It wasn't really a question. James could not imagine someone not wanting to get to know him more. Remus gave a small agreeable nod.

"Brilliant!" James jumped onto the end of Remus' bed in a boisterous manner. "So, first I'll tell you a little about me then, shall I? Well, I… hmm…okay! So my favorite color is red, for Gryffindor of course. My parents and I are from Godric's Hollow. My favorite sport is Quidditch, obviously. I mean there's no sport better; am I right or am I right? Though, I'm between teams at the moment. Ever since Janeades let in that horrible goal in the ninety first minute, I had to re-evaluate a team that would keep him on. Did you see that match? I never miss a match. Dad takes me around to all of them because he's quite the fan as well. I'm hoping to make the Gryffindor team next year; I play chaser. Do you play?" He'd said all this very fast, and Remus was now looking at him like a bit of a deer in the headlights.

"No, I don't play."

"No matter, I can teach you if you'd like. Only you probably shouldn't go out for the team, because the team has to have the best. No offense, but they have to have been practicing for a lot of years. It's a serious thing, Quidditch, and then there's the cup at the end of the year. Gryffindor hasn't won it in three years, and really that's just embarrassing. But, enough about me. Tell me about Remus Lupin."

"Well, I don't play Quidditch, but it would be nice if you would explain it all sometime and then I'll understand it better once the season starts."

"Oh yes! I will definitely do that. The season starts next month, so there's plenty of time for you to learn everything before then. Also, if you want, you can borrow my copy of Quidditch through the Ages; it'll give you a good run through on everything Quidditch."

"Thanks" Remus said, offering a shy smile.

"Sooo? What else?" James prompted. Remus hesitated nervously. "What's your favorite color?"

"Er, silver" Remus said softly. _Interesting choice._

"Silver" James repeated. "Okay. What's your favorite food?" Remus gave a measly shrug. "Oh come on! You've got to have one. Mine's gingerbread…no, caramel apple…no…okay a tie between those two."

Remus gave a small smirk at James' childlike indecisiveness. James smirked back. _Finally breaking the ice._

"Well, I guess I like apple pie."

"You guess you like apple pie or you know you like apple pie?" James asked. _Let's get that confidence up._

 _"_ I know I like apple pie" Remus consented quietly, his cheeks flushing.

"I can hardly hear you, Remus. Go on, say it louder. I like apple pie."

"I like apple pie." Remus muttered only slightly louder; he was starting intently at his hands now.

"Louder, like you mean it." This time Remus had a hint of annoyance in his voice when he said

"I like apple pie."

"Great!" James praised, though Remus was still speaking in a much softer tone than most people would use for normal conversation. "We can work on that later. Where're you from?"

"I'm from Alderly Edge." James let out a small cheer of excitement. Alderly Edge was a village in East Cheshire, and it had always been a settling place for people of magical origin. It was the town in which the wizard had Merlin lived. He lived in a cave and watched over King Arthur and his knights while they slept – only to be awoken if England had a dire need for them.

"Alderly Edge?! Why didn't you say that in the first place? Have you been to the cave under the sandstone cliffs then?"

"Yeah" Remus nodded.

"Did you see the gate? The gate in the rock?" _The gate that only witches and wizards can see because it leads to the entrance to the cave._

"A faint outline" Remus said, "But I'm not sure it wasn't a hoax." James frowned. _Well that's no fun._

"But Merlin did live there, didn't he? In Alderly Edge, I mean."

"Yeah" Remus agreed. "But I think he would have hidden the entrance from everyone, not just from muggles. So, I think the carved gate outline is just for tourists."

"Hmm" James mused. "Fair point. Kind of makes it more enticing to go visit it though doesn't it? I wish I could see the real gate…" At that moment, Peter came back into the dorm room from the lavatory. "Peter! Remus is from Alderly Edge!" Peter jumped a little at James calling his name, but then he grinned.

"I've been there. It was nice. I saw that carving in the rock. Is that really the gate Remus?"

"I'm not sure" Remus said softly. "I don't think so." Peter nodded as if he had been expecting that answer.

"My parents said that Merlin probably would have hidden the entrance from everyone, not just muggles" Peter explained.

Remus only nodded.

"That's what Remus thinks too" James said for him. Then he looked back over at Remus. "I want us all to be friends" James explained bluntly. "So that means you don't have to be afraid to talk to me, or to Peter, or to Sirius. We're all going to be living with each other for the next seven years, so we might as well all get comfortable around one another, yeah?"

"Yeah" Remus muttered, offering up a half-smile despite his reddening cheeks.

"Good."

* * *

 **(Sirius Black)**

Sirius showed up for his detention with Professor McGonagall early. He couldn't help but feel his uneasiness growing steadily inside him with each passing step.

 _I suppose she could just yell. That seems unlikely. Perhaps she'll settle for Punctum Alica… I didn't mean to insult her after all._ His stomach knotted bitterly. _Since when does 'not meaning to' mean anything?_

He was outside her office door now. He carefully arranged his features to be void of all emotion, and, with a deep breath, he knocked on Professor McGonagall's heavy office door.

"Come in" came the calm stern voice of Professor McGonagall from behind the door.

Sirius' hand was shaking as he reached for the door handle and let himself into the small office. The room was rather small and could be taken in with a single forward glance. It was a cozy place with a roaring fire in the large fireplace. His head of house sat behind her desk, which was located at the far end of the office. She wasn't looking at him, but instead at her watch.

"I daresay this is a first, Black. You're early." She looked up at him, her mouth a small thin line. "Shut the door and come have a seat."

Sirius obeyed and sat uncomfortably in the armchair in front of her desk. He was careful to sit up straight and to look her straight in the eyes; he refused to look weak, even if he did have to put up with her punishments in just a few moments.

"Tonight, you will be doing some research on the fundamentals of transfiguration. You will then compose a 14-inch essay on why it is important to master those basics prior to learning any more challenging spells. I trust that you brought a quill?"

 _Shit. Well no, it didn't occur to me that I'd need one. This isn't the usual sort of thing to precede a punishment now is it?_ Sirius was feeling a bit angry now. _So she just wants to watch me squirm for a while before she starts in… I thought better of her._ He was careful to speak without sarcasm when he replied.

"I'm sorry, professor. I didn't bring a quill." Professor McGonagall did not look surprised, only a bit annoyed.

"Well then, you can borrow one of mine."

She opened her desk drawer and withdrew a long piece of parchment, a bottle of ink, and a long white-feathered quill. After placing them on her desk she gestured to the stack of four large books sitting on a corner of her desk. She then took out her wand. Sirius braced himself, not taking his eyes off of her wand, knowing for certain that what he had been expecting had arrived… but to his astonishment, McGonagall merely conjured a desk and chair directly behind the chair he was seated in. The desk faced the wall instead of directly at her.

"You may take these to the desk and begin" she instructed.

Sirius gave a slight nod, gathered up the prescribed contents and walked to the desk and plopped down lazily. He was starting to get mad. _Why can't she just get it the hell over with?_ He opened up the top textbook and began skimming the first page. The chapter was titled: **_The Four Basics of Beginners' Transfiguration_** **.** After nearly an hour of reading and jotting down little notes to use for later, Sirius could no longer focus. He was tired of her game and wanted to know. His hands were shaking from being subjected to this new form of prolonged suspense that awaited the inevitable penance for his unintended insolence in class. His parents never made him wait like this. As he sat there, Sirius decided he could stand it no longer; he would have to ask her what she meant to do with him after this ridiculous essay was completed.

"Excuse me Professor?" Sirius tried to sound polite, but his rage at her tactics was boiling up inside of him.

"Yes, Mr. Black?" she asked patiently.

"What will my punishment be?" He worked to keep his face free from both anger and dread.

"I beg your pardon?" _Why does she sound confused?_

"After I finish the essay, what will my punishment be?" He repeated, unsure how to phrase his question any more straight-forward than that if she were to misunderstand once again. Professor McGonagall paused, her eyes slightly narrowed, eyeing him pensively.

 _Merlin, she hasn't even decided yet! Please just not Defodio… at least not that one._

"The essay is your punishment, Mr. Black. Or do you find writing it an enjoyable way to spend your Thursday evening?" He was staring at her suspiciously now, not letting himself believe her words. "What exactly were you expecting, Mr. Black?"

McGonagall's question snapped him away from his thoughts on whether or not she could be believed.

"What about the other two detentions? What do you have planned for those?" She raised her eyebrows at him.

"Well I daresay you won't be able to complete a thorough essay for me on this subject in just one detention. You will be working on it the following two evenings as well. And mind your tone."

"Anything else?" He sounded almost accusatory, his tone harsh.

"Again, I will ask you Mr. Black, what in the world were you expecting?"

 _She's telling the truth._ He let out an audible sigh of relief and relaxed his posture for the first time since he'd entered the office. He sat back in his chair, just now realizing how tense he had made his back and shoulders from all that wondering and waiting.

"I am waiting for your answer" she said, sounding stern once again. He didn't know what to say.

"I-I just thought it would be more…like a punishment is all."

"More like a punishment how?" He only stared at her; surely she had to understand what he was getting at.

 _A punishment, you know. An actual punishment. A normal punishment. How much clearer can I be?_

"I must say, Black, that I have no idea what you are getting at. Do you take pleasure in composing research essays?"

"Not particularly, professor."

"Well then, since this essay also enlightens you to the answer of your impudent question in class, I think that it is a very fitting way for you to serve your detentions."

"Yes, professor." Sirius returned to the book, a newfound ease settling in to his demeanor. After a while of reading the dull material, he found his mind wandering once more. "Professor?"

"Yes?"

"Are all detentions essays?"

"No. Detentions vary based on what warranted the detention, Mr. Black. Many consist of doing chores, such as cleaning, around the castle."

"Cleaning?" Sirius said in disbelief. "My mother says cleaning is for house elves and muggles." He hadn't meant anything by his statement, yet Professor McGonagall's eyes seemed to grow a little darker.

"Does she?" McGonagall asked almost sarcastically. Sirius felt a little uncertain. Perhaps he shouldn't have said anything. He tried to think of how James would have reacted to him revealing this about his mother; would James have found it perfectly normal, or would he too have become bristled? Sirius didn't know the proper way to respond to McGongall's remark, so he tried to answer truthfully.

"Yes" he answered slowly. It was effort to keep his voice low and calm. "I think if she saw me cleaning she'd probably write a complaint to the ministry. She… she s-says real wizards and witches don't do that kind of …" he paraphrased his mother's obscene language quickly in his mind, "…work."

"Real witches and wizards? I assume your mother meant those with fully traceable pureblood lines?"

Sirius nodded hesitantly. He couldn't quite gage McGonagall's expression. There was anger definitely, but there was also something else. She gave a sigh.

"Well, Mr. Black, I'm afraid that you have a great deal to **unlearn** about the world."

 _What do you mean?_ The confusion must have shown on his face, because her expression suddenly softened.

"Can I correctly assume that you were taught to think that only those with a traceable pureblood line are proper witches and wizards?" she asked, her tone more conversational than all-knowing now.

Sirius was nervous to reply. He didn't know if she was a pureblood, a half-blood, a muggleborn, or what. He didn't want to offend her so directly. She seemed to understand.

"I will not be offended."

"Yes, professor. That is what I've been told." He tried to sound diplomatic.

"I thought so, Mr. Black. While I normally do not make it my place to undermine anyone's parenting methods, I will ask you this however, since you are in my house here at Hogwarts. Now that you have met, attended classes with, and lived alongside witches and wizards of all different backgrounds, what is your current opinion on the matter?"

"I-I don't know, professor" he answered honestly. She nodded at him.

"If you need someone to help you work out the varying viewpoints you are confronted with, please know that I am here to listen and to help… if you should want to talk."

Sirius had never expected to witness such a sensitive side to the sternest professor he had. He appreciated her offer, though he was quite certain that he would never take her up on it. _Adults are biased. She clearly has her mind made up. I don't need another person telling me something is the truth just because they say it is._

"Thank you, professor." She gave him a thoughtful look and then returned to grading papers. Sirius returned to the essay. It wasn't five minutes before this new knowledge dawned on him fully. _So, basically, it's like they can't punish students at all._ A grin spread on his face. This meant that the scale to which he, James, and Peter could prank others had just increased exponentially.

.

.

.

Thank you for reading/reviewing!


	7. Chapter 6: Letters from Home

_**Author's Notes:**_

I know that I said that there will be sections from Regulus' POV as well, and I just want to tell all of the Regulus' fans that there still will be! He's my absolute favorite character, and I have a ton already written from his POV (yet to be posted), but most of it is after he starts at school. So, fellow Regulus fans, please bear with me. I promise those sections are coming!

(I am tempted to just write one in early for the sake of throwing one in, but I am also really attached to how I bring his character's perspective into the story later on… so, thoughts/opinions?) Either way, there will be a lot from his POV; it's just coming a bit later on in the story. Thanks!

.

.

* * *

 **(Sirius Black)**

Sirius was in a terrible mood. He'd been in a terrible mood ever since breakfast – when his father's letter had arrived. He was getting used to his mother's daily letters, which outlined her explicit disappointment in him, in his sorting, and in virtually everything about him. His father's letters were less frequent. Thus, when Sirius opened it, he had dared to hope for a split second that it would be remotely positive – that perhaps he would have asked how school was going, and that perhaps he would have answered the questions that Sirius had so carefully written to him. That, Sirius quickly realized, was very foolish.

Orion was not any happier with him than he had been in his last two letters. Though his father didn't use the same hateful vocabulary that his mother so often chose to inflict, Orion's letter was not at all uplifting to Sirius' spirits. More than that was the fact that his father never disciplined as often as his mother, and so to read about his lack of pride was somehow a harder blow. Unlike his mother's letters, which were sent with the sole objective of venting her displeasure towards him, his father's letter had been sent with an actual purpose: a reply to Sirius' letter and a reminder to not embarrass the family any further by associating with mudbloods.

He'd immediately stood from the breakfast table. There was only one past time that would ease his anger and confusion. His father's answers had not made him feel any better, nor had they provided the insightful clarity he had so been hoping for from him.

"Where're you going?" James had asked, a huge grin on his face as he made his way through his weekly care package, a chocolate frog in one hand and a new t-shirt in the other. Sometimes Sirius couldn't stand to be around him. _Stupid spoilt git._

"None of your bloody business, Potter" he'd snapped back. James had looked affronted, but upon spotting the letter scrunched in Sirius' fist, he'd let it go. By now, the third week of school, his dorm-mates had all learned to leave him alone when the post arrived.

Sirius had hurried off to the library. He found the corner section away from the windows that he'd grown accustomed to sitting in when he did his research on blood status. He wasn't about to let people find him reading up about it; he hadn't even told his roommates where he went the times he couldn't resist going to the library to seek the truth. The truth was all he wanted, but it turned out that for every book that said blood status didn't matter, he could think of at least five at home that said otherwise. It was beyond frustrating, and he knew there was no one he could talk to that would really understand.

He knew what everyone in his family thought on the issue, and it was pretty clear what the professors thought as well. So who was left to ask? Besides, he didn't want just another **opinion** , he wanted **fact**. He wanted proof. If he was going to hate more than half the wizarding population, and all the muggles, he felt that he should be pretty clear on why he should hate them. He couldn't muster that kind of hatred – the hatred his relatives exhibited – without solid reasons. None of their reasons had ever seemed good enough. They didn't look dirty and disgusting. They certainly weren't any less intelligent than anyone else. Maybe some of their ways seemed primitive, but they were also more advanced than the wizarding world in other ways. If not for their last names, he never would have known who was who just by meeting them. No; he wasn't going to write them all off for no real reason.

Yet, he wasn't about to just abandon everything he'd ever been taught, and his family's beliefs, just because he didn't quite understand them. Just because he didn't see what they saw didn't mean that they were all wrong. It couldn't mean that. He refused to accept it; his family would not hate people, especially to the extent that they did, for no reason.

Sirius had been pouring over books, trying to find the truth of whether or not blood purity mattered and to what extent if it did. But who was to say that the authors of these school books weren't just as biased – although of the opposite viewpoint – as the authors of the books in his home library? The first time he'd gone to the school library to find the answer the week before, he had thought it would be easy. He'd expected to pick up a book, read a paragraph that confirmed everything his parents said, and be closed on the matter. He'd expected to be able to tell James that he was wrong, and to know in his head that James had just been misguided by his blood-traitor parents.

But that wasn't what had happened. The book he'd picked up hadn't said anything like what his parents had told him. For the past week, he'd half-wished that he had just put that book down and never read it; but that wasn't what he'd done. He had read it – clung to it – every last word. He'd never heard of anyone talking about the "unjust prejudice against muggleborns" before, and he'd found it fascinating. That night, he'd gone to bed with even more uncertainty than he'd had upon entering the library. The next day, he'd returned to search through more and more books. Yet, the more he read on the subject, the more confused he became. His family couldn't be that wrong… not to that extent. Yet, James – for all his lectures - didn't seem so wrong either.

So, yesterday, he had worked up the courage to write a letter to his father to ask him all of the questions that had been building up in his head throughout his research.

 _If muggles don't know about our world, then how are they willingly oppressing us?_

 _How are muggleborns stealing magic? If it was possible to steal magic, why don't squibs steal magic?_

 _If half-bloods have one magical parent, then isn't it not their fault if their other parent stole magic?_

 _The book says all blood is the same, so why do we think it's dirty? What makes it dirty?_

 _Why are some of the muggleborns more talented than some of the purebloods in lessons?_

The list had gone on and on. The reply letter he'd received at breakfast had not been particularly helpful. It was more of the same reasoning without any direct answers to his very specific questions. Moreover, his father was clearly furious that he'd even asked such things in the first place – causing him to express his renewed fury over his sorting into a house that allowed such "perverse thoughts."

 _What's wrong with me? Why can't I just understand?_ He groaned from the library chair he sat in. _Why can't any of these stupid books just be unbiased?_ The warning bell chimed, and Sirius knew he had to leave in order to make it to class on time. With a heavy discontented sigh, he picked up the stack of books he'd acquired in the past half hour and returned them to their appropriate shelves.

* * *

 **(James Potter)**

James sat down heavily in his seat for Charms. _So unfair,_ he thought furiously. He'd asked Professor McGonagall if he could try out for the house Quidditch team and she'd said 'no'. He'd even explained his credentials to her… laid out how the team needed him and hadn't won the cup in three years… but she'd flat out denied him.

"Just because I'm a first year" James informed his three dorm-mates, who sat around him, for the sixth time. He didn't care that he was being repetitious. In his firm opinion, it was just as preposterous of a reason each time he said it.

"Maybe if you convince her to just watch you fly?" Peter suggested. James gave him a weak appreciative grin.

"Maybe" James groaned, sliding down in his chair so that his neck rested on the back of his chair. "It's just so stupid. … Maybe if I get my parents to write her a letter."

Sirius made a sound of clear disgust. _He's been in a pissy mood all afternoon._

"I didn't ask for your opinion, so don't give it" James shot at him with a sideways glance. Both he and Sirius were currently being too stubborn to turn their heads to face one another, so instead they faced forward at Peter and Remus.

"I didn't" Sirius replied curtly.

"As good as" James argued. "You've been a prat all day." Sirius crossed his arms across his chest, choosing to ignore him.

 _This git._

"Just because you got some letter you didn't like-" James began hotly, but he stopped as Sirius turned on him so fast, looking absolutely livid.

"You ignorant spoilt git, Potter" he said in a low infuriated tone, glaring at him. "Why don't you just eat your sodding chocolate frogs and stop complaining about how the rules apply to you."

James was taken aback, but not for long. Sirius may have a fierce temper, but he wasn't scared of him.

"Oh yeah? Wasn't it just the other night when you said that I should make a donation to the school in order to get them to make an exception? I believe your exact words were 'rules don't apply to people like us'. Wasn't that what you said, you sodding hypocrite?"

Sirius didn't answer.

"That's what I thought" James said angrily. "So keep your mouth shut if I want to write a damn letter to my parents."

James looked over at Peter with a 'can you believe him' expression. Peter, who sat directly in front of him, looked like he agreed with James. It was then that the bell rang to signal the beginning of the Charms lesson.

 _I'm definitely sitting next to Peter next lesson._

"Today, we will be learning the Flippendo charm. This charm will knock objects over. Let me demonstrate." Professor Flitwick, who stood atop a stack of large books behind a wooden podium, aimed his wand his desk. "Flippendo." The small vase of flowers – which had clearly seen better days – tipped over instantly onto its side. Flitwick quickly righted the vase and cleared away the spilt water with another clean swish of his wand. "Now, let me get into how it is done. Firstly, - uh… yes, Mr. Black?"

James hadn't noticed that Sirius had raised his hand.

"Excuse me, Professor?" Sirius asked politely enough.

"Yes, Mr. Black. What is your question" Flitwick asked, happy to help a student despite the fact that he had interrupted.

"I already know how to do this. Is there something else you could teach today?" His tone was innocent enough, but James knew him well enough now to know that he was acting that way because he was in a mood. Professor Flitwick looked taken aback.

"I-I beg your pardon?"

"I've known how to do Flippendo for about three years now. Is there something else you could teach those of us who already know this one?"

Professor Flitwick stared at him in absolute shock for a moment before blinking a few times to recover himself.

"You are likely the only pupil who already knows this charm then, Mr. Black. I'm afraid you will have to bear with us."

But Sirius looked disbelieving. He looked around the room and addressed the class loudly.

"Who else already knows this one?"

James gaped, looking around the room. No one raised their hands.

"Mr. Black, that is quite enough. When you are in my classroom, you will conduct yourself in manner befitting of a respectful pupil."

"I'm not trying to be disrespectful." Sirius argued back, in a manner that was truthfully quite disrespectful. "But I value my time just as much as you value yours, and I'm telling you **respectfully** that I already know how to do this. I already sat through all your lessons on Wingardium Leviosa, which I've known how to do for ages, by the way. Why should I have to sit here while you teach everyone else when I could be –"

"Mr. Black" Flitwick snapped, "I do not want to have to take house points from Gryffindor. Now please sit quietly and stop disrupting the class."

"Well can I go then, Professor?" Sirius asked. Seated beside him, James was gaping open-mouthed. Sirius didn't seem to notice. In truth, he didn't even seem to realize that he was saying or doing anything wrong. "I've got a lot of homework, and since I already know this –"

"You are weighing on my patience now, Mr. Black" Flitwick warned in his high-pitched voice.

"Then you must understand how I feel trying to sit here day after day" Sirius said earnestly, though the slightly condescending entitlement was still present in his speech. "At home, I tell my tutors all the time when my time could be better spent learning something more productive. Isn't that the whole point? To learn as much as possible."

"You may not speak to me as if I am one of your tutors. I am not on your parent's payroll." Flitwick turned on his heel and returned to his podium and began lecturing once more, clearly choosing to ignore Sirius.

"Yeah, only technically you are" Sirius muttered angrily under his breath.

"Bloody hell, Sirius. Shut-up" James hissed, still in shock at his new friend's insolence and sense of entitlement.

"He is" Sirius whispered back, looking beyond contemptuous. "My parents donated half a million galleons to this school last year. I'm the heir, so technically that's my money too. I'm paying his salary. I shouldn't have to sit here and waste my time."

 _Oh Merlin… Is this seriously coming out of his mouth right now?_ James could not even comprehend the level of disrespect – not to mention the height of the horse Sirius clearly had himself on – that his friend was exhibiting to a professor. What was more, was that Sirius still didn't even seem to realize that he was in the wrong. _The Professors don't work for you Sirius, no matter how much money your parents have donated._

* * *

 **(Remus Lupin)**

"You're a sodding slob!" James hollered at Sirius later that day as Sirius re-entered their dormitory. Where he had been, they didn't know. Sirius often seemed to disappear, or to say he was just running to the loo, and then not show back up for hours. "I can't live looking at your mess every day."

Remus tried not to look weary, but they'd been going at each other all day, and he really wanted to finish his Herbology assignment that evening.

Sirius did not look much affronted by James' outburst. It wasn't the first time James had told him that he needed to clean up his area of the room. Remus half wondered if Sirius was electing not to straighten up on purpose, just to be stubborn. Sirius strolled into the room, slipped off his outer robe, and tossed it onto the steadily building pile of dirty clothes on the side of his bed.

"Anything to say?" James demanded. Sirius raised an eyebrow, looking amused in a rather condescending sort of way.

"I don't clean" Sirius said flatly. "If it bothers you so much, feel free to do it yourself."

"I'm not going to trail around after you, hanging up your clothes every time you take something off. You're a lazy arrogant spoiled sod."

Sirius gave a laugh.

"I'm not the spoilt one."

"Are you suggesting that I am?" James exclaimed, rising to his feet.

"If the care package fits…"

"Clean up your side of the room" James demanded, ignoring Sirius' latest retort.

"No" Sirius said stubbornly, daring to smirk condescendingly back at James. "I don't take orders from you."

"I'm through coming back to that mess every day" James shouted. James narrowed his eyes and took a couple steps nearer to Sirius. "It amazes me how you so easily correlate muggleborns to being unclean when you live like this!"

 _Ah, so that's what this is about._ It had been rather bad. Sirius had made a very inappropriate prejudiced remark the day before, seemingly without realizing how it sounded. James had quite literally thrown a fit, and then he'd forced Sirius to endure a twenty minute lecture on how such remarks were inexcusable. Sirius had consented to hearing James out as long as no one else was around to witness his chastisement, and when Remus and Peter had been allowed back into the room, both boys were quiet and very sulky. Sirius had openly ignored all of them for the rest of the evening while he wrote out the first letter they'd seen him writing all year.

"Don't tell me you're on about that again now?!" Sirius groaned.

"You're impossible!" James spluttered in astonishment. "You still don't even realize how disgusting that was for you to say!"

"Oh I understand perfectly! You prattled on about it forever!"

"So you understand but you don't care?!"

"I never said-"

"Or is that you're just like those awful cousins you pretend you don't know?"

"Don't insult my family!"

"Your family is vile!" James hollered "They're a bunch of bigoted, self-proclaimed -."

"You don't know anything about my family!" Sirius shouted, and unsummoned sparks flew from the tip of his wand.

"I know that they're prejudiced and that everybody hates them!" James shouted. "And that they must live in filth because they 'don't clean'" he added as an afterthought.

"Everyone's just jealous of my family because we're-!"

"Ha! You are just as delusional as they are! Nobody is jealous of your family!" James interrupted.

"What would you know about it!?" Sirius screamed. "Your family are blood-traitors! You're a disgrace to the wizarding world!"

James whipped his wand out very fast.

"Punctum Alica!" James shouted, but Sirius blocked the stinging hex with a quick wave of his wand.

"Don't start a duel you can't win, Potter" Sirius warned darkly.

"You take back what you said about my family" James glowered at him.

"You take back what you said about mine."

"Never" James said confidently.

"Fine. Then your family are blood-traitors, and so are you."

"Your family is evil! They're vile and prejudiced, and too obsessed with themselves to realize that everybody else is laughing at how stupid they are, and that everybody else hates them!"

"Shut-up!" Sirius shouted, and Remus noticed that his hands were shaking. He looked over at Peter, who was watching the scene open-mouthed, cross-legged on his bed.

"You say you're nothing like them but then you go and call muggleborns filthy and you call me a blood-traitor! You're just like them!"

"Stop." Sirius was no longer shouting. Remus could see that he was getting an entirely different kind of upset, but James apparently could not detect it.

"There's a reason everybody here hates your family, Black! And I promise you, you arrogant ignorant git, that jealously has nothing to do with it!"

"I – hate – you!" Sirius screamed in anguish.

"That's what you Blacks are best at!"

"Like you would know, you fucking blood-traitor" Sirius shot back, but his voice was shaking.

"Gryffindors don't use that term, Black" James said angrily. "Nor do they call muggleborns 'mudbloods', or compare humans to dirt."

"Are you saying I'm not a Gryffindor?" Sirius asked angrily. James shrugged condescendingly at him. "Fine. I don't want to be a Gryffindor anyway."

"Why don't you leave then? Go back to wherever you just were. Probably hanging out with your awful family. That's why you're so secretive, isn't it?"

Sirius hesitated for a brief moment, staring at James in what looked like disappointment, and then he walked straight out of the dormitory, slamming the door loudly behind him.

Remus and Peter exchanged a nervous look before turning back to stare at James. He was fuming. They'd never seen him get so angry before. He and Sirius usually got along well; they bickered and their alpha personalities clashed sometimes, but for the most part they got along very well. But James never had any patience for him when Sirius mistakenly made prejudiced remarks. Remus often wondered how much Sirius was aware of what he said actually meant. Sirius did seem to think and act like he was better than other people, but how much of that was just arrogance? He didn't treat muggleborns any differently than purebloods. He treated everyone with the same level of entitled importance and authority. He tended to be confused when James would get suddenly furious after a comment. He never acted particularly understanding and apologetic, but he never argued for prejudice either.

Regardless, Remus thought that James may have crossed the line that time. True, Sirius' part of the room was a disaster area, and he had made a rather awful comment the day before, but it was still a lot of mean things to say to a friend. Sirius had, after all, consented to letting James lecture him the day before.

"Can you believe him?" James asked in exasperation. Peter and Remus exchanged glances again, both wanting to stay out of it.

"I think you both said some …stuff" Peter said bravely. James looked shocked, and then hurt. His hand rushed up to his already haywire hair, and he nervously messed it up even more. James gave a sigh, looking upset.

"I guess. I don't want to talk about it." James retreated to his bed, pulled his potions homework out of his bag, and began to do it without another word. Remus could sense the awkward tension in the room. He and Peter decided it was best to quietly do homework then as well.

* * *

 **(James Potter)**

James couldn't sleep. As much as he hated to admit it, he felt too guilty to sleep. _I shouldn't have said those things to him. I know he's not like them. He really is just too ignorant to realize what he says is so awful._

 ** _._**

 _"_ _But, James, how am I supposed to know? How do I know what is bad to say and what isn't? I don't mean anything by it really. I'm just talking…I'm just talking normal and then I find out that what I said was bad. …It was just an expression."_

 _"_ _It was a prejudiced slur that no one uses. It's not an expression" James replied hotly._

 _"_ _How was I supposed to know that?" Sirius had asked him desperately. "Everyone I know talks like that. I didn't know you'd take offense."_

 _"_ _How about the muggleborns? Did you think they'd take offense?"_

 _Sirius looked guilty._

 _"…_ _I…I didn't really think about it. …James, I don't hate muggleborns. It was just an expre- I mean phrase. I just said it without thinking. I didn't mean anything by it."_

 ** _._**

James took a look at his watch; it was well past two in the morning. Despite the fact that it was a Friday and so they would not have to be waking up early the next morning, it was still way past curfew. Sirius should have been back by then. It was making James feel worried. What if Sirius had gone and done something reckless; he was the type to do so. James heaved a heavy sigh and decided that he might as well go and search for him. _I'm not going to get any sleep otherwise._

He pulled the cloak out of his trunk as quietly as he could so as not to disturb the other two. He didn't bother changing out of his pajamas, though he did slip on his shoes and grab his wand. Then he headed down to the common room. The room was empty, but the fire was still crackling soothingly. James wrapped the cloak around himself and headed out of the common room.

 _If I were Sirius, where would I go?_ Truth be told, he had no real idea where the other boy would go. How well did he know him really after only three weeks? James searched for nearly an hour. He looked in every door he could find, but he didn't come across anyone. Sleepiness was finally catching up to him. He stared out at the long corridor before him. There was only one door left that he hadn't tried in it. _One more door. Then I'm calling it a night. For all I know, he could be back in our dorm._

James walked towards the last door; he was half-asleep. It was unlocked, and he went in. At first glance, the room appeared to be empty. But then he saw it: a massive golden mirror with a pointed top. The mirror was at the far side of the room. Mesmerized, James approached it, not taking his eyes from the inscription at the top: Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi. (I show not your face, but your heart's desire). He couldn't read what it said.

As he drew mere feet from the mirror, he noticed the small figure of a boy with longish black hair at the base of the mirror. It was unmistakably a sleeping Sirius. He was curled up, facing the mirror, one hand still extended, touching it, as if he had fallen asleep trying to keep his hand on it. James' chest gave a pang of guilt and remorse. _He's sleeping on the floor._

James looked up into the mirror at his own reflection. _James Potter, you were a real prat this time._ He took a step closer to Sirius and the mirror; he couldn't leave him there asleep on the floor. Then he saw it, and the shock of it hit him quite suddenly. The reflection in the mirror had changed. It was, he could tell, still him…only he was older. He was perhaps seventeen, and he was wearing Quidditch robes of his favorite team, the Montrose Magpies. He was smiling triumphantly, clutching a broomstick in one hand and a trophy in the other. James stared at it in awe. The trophy read the _Quidditch World Cup_.

 _What in the world kind of mirror is this? Does it show the future?_ He looked back up at the inscription, trying to make sense of it. He couldn't even venture a guess as to what language it could be. James stared at his older self once more; the James in the mirror was beaming back at him, still smiling broadly. James took a step closer. He had to figure this mirror out. He took a few more steps towards the other James. He could almost reach out and touch him now. One more step…

A muffled groan came from his feet. James looked down to see that he had walked right into Sirius' back. He had completely forgotten that he was even there. Sirius sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asle-" he caught sight of James, and abruptly ended his apology, which had clearly been intended for a professor. "What are you doing here?"

"What is this mirror?" James asked.

"Why are you here?" Sirius asked again stubbornly. He was scowling at James, but James was too preoccupied by the mystique of the mirror to notice.

"I was looking for you obviously. Now what in the world d'you reckon this mirror does? Do you think it shows the future?"

"The future?" Sirius asked in complete confusion. "No. Why would you think-? …Oh."

"What d'you mean 'oh'? It's got to be showing the future, hasn't it? I mean it showed me exactly what I'm planning for myself. My future looks great." James smiled happily.

"It doesn't show the future" Sirius repeated, sounding sullen. James took another step towards the mirror. He reached out and touched the reflection of his older self. _It feels like a regular mirror._ He leaned in to examine it closer until his nose was almost touching the mirror.

"Then what does it do then? What did you see?"

"I…I saw…" Sirius began as he turned to look back at the mirror. He shook his head slowly. "It doesn't matter what I saw. It isn't real and it isn't the future. And it's none of your business, Potter."

"How do you know it wasn't the future? Just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean that it isn't real."

"I was younger than I am now, okay. Is that clear enough for you? Unless I'm going to drink a permanent de-aging potion, it doesn't show the future" Sirius snapped back.

"What? …That can't be right. It has to be showing the future" James protested. He really wanted to solidify that that handsome, Quidditch-cup winning teenager was going to be him in the future.

"It's not. Mine would never happen. Not in a million years."

"You could de-age I suppose…" James mused, grasping at straws.

"Shut-up, will you?" Sirius said annoyed. James broke his transfixed stare at the mirror and turned to look at Sirius, who had just stood up.

"What did you see?" James asked curiously. Sirius' eyes flicked over to the mirror as if subconsciously, and for a minute he too stood utterly transfixed by what he saw. James waited patiently.

"It's not the future" Sirius repeated softly. "I'm going back to bed, and I don't fancy another detention so d'you mind if I share the cloak with you or am I too much of a hated bigoted Slytherin?"

 _Ugh…I'm sorry I said those things. I know you're not… You're just ignorant is all._ Sirius was glaring at him; it was clear that he expected to hear an insult.

"I'm sorry" James admitted, and Sirius' expression changed to surprise. "I didn't mean what I said."

"You did" Sirius said quickly.

 _You aren't making this any easier._

"I do think you say stupid prejudiced arrogant things, but I do believe you that you don't realize what you're saying is so bad because your family says them. And I do think you belong in Gryffindor."

Sirius stared at him rather warily for a moment and then said

"I'm not like my family. I'm not. You don't even know them, and I'm telling you that I'm not. …Regulus maybe…a little…but that's all." He was staring defiantly at James, as if daring him to contradict him.

James had an odd feeling in his stomach. It was unusual, but he recognized it. It was the same feeling he'd gotten the first time he'd ridden a real broomstick and not a child's one. It was the feeling he'd gotten when he'd received his Hogwarts letter. It was the feeling that he was at a turning point and that somehow his life was about to be changed. Somehow, things would never be the same.

James looked at the boy in front of him. He was taller than James was by at least three inches, and he was practically glaring at James. But James could see it behind his hard-set expression…in his eyes he was desperate. James had hit it off with Sirius almost as soon as they'd met. He'd never met anyone quite like him before. He was beyond entitled, exceedingly judgmental of others, utterly naïve to life outside of aristocratic pureblood society, overly dramatic about even the smallest of inconveniences… and yet he was thoughtful enough to watch his tone around Remus, reckless enough to speak his mind to the professors, and unbelievably funny and charismatic. And here he was staring at James with a look on his face that screamed 'please accept me' behind his 'I-don't-care-what-anyone-thinks-of-me' facade, and James just couldn't dream of doing anything otherwise.

"You're not like them" James assured him. "I know that. I didn't mean it when I said it." Sirius folded his arms across his chest and bit his lip nervously. He gave James a small nod. "I'm sorry" James said again. "I know you said last night that it's hard for you to know." Sirius nodded again.

"I'm sorry" Sirius mumbled.

"So are we…er…good then?" James asked him cautiously. Sirius looked up from where he was staring at the floor and gave another small nod. "Alright, well let's go back then. But remember where this room is so we can come back." They covered themselves with the cloak and walked silently back to the common room. Luckily, there were no obstacles in the form of professors or caretakers in their path. _Wish there was a way to know where the caretaker and every professor was… that way we'd never get caught._

When they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, James wasn't surprised to see that she was sleeping. Their night escapades usually ended with them waking her up at all sorts of hours.

"Canis Major" James muttered. He hoped to speak just loud enough to wake her without waking any of the other portraits. "Canis Major" he said again. Beside him, Sirius stood silent, his arms folded. _Much longer and he'll lose patience and start yelling._ "Canis Major."

To James' relief, the Fat Lady opened her eyes with a flutter.

"Hello boys. It must be you, yes?"

"It's us" James whispered cheerily. "Will you let us in to bed, please? Canis Major." She swung open and James and Sirius went inside. Sirius immediately stepped out from under the cloak and away from James. James pulled the cloak off and noticed his friend's sullenness. "Are you alright?" Sirius gave a nod and looked towards the fire. James gave a sigh. Despite knowing him for only a short time, he knew Sirius well enough to know that he was upset. "D'you…er...want to talk or something?"

Sirius looked back at him, his face stoic.

"I'm fine" he said firmly. "I just…I don't like that mirror. I thought I did, but I don't. I don't want to go back there."

 _What? How could you not love that mirror? Don't you want to figure out what it does?_

"Aren't you curious about it though?" James asked him imploringly. Sirius hesitated.

"I am…but I don't want to see it again."

"What did you see in it? What did it show you?"

"What did it show you?" Sirius was quick to turn the question around, but James was eager to share the image he'd seen.

"It was me. Only I was older. And I was wearing a professional Magpie's uniform and holding the Quidditch World Cup." Sirius chuckled.

"Wish I could have seen you like that."

"Maybe you will. If it's the future then-"

"It's not the future, James. I already told you. Mine was the past. Only it wasn't… I mean I was younger so it was the past, but it wasn't real. It wasn't what really happened. It wasn't really me."

"What d'you mean? Explain better. What did you see?"

"It was me" Sirius said shrugging. "And Regulus and my parents…only it wasn't really any of us. We were…different."

"Different how?"

"Just different, okay?" Sirius snapped.

"But I don't understand" he protested. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"We were different. Smiling. Happy. I don't know, it just wasn't really us. I mean, it could be us I suppose if my family was... different, but it's not. So, it wasn't really us. And it's never going to be us."

James hesitated, feeling guilty and not knowing what to say. Sirius hated talking about his family. When he did speak of them, he was usually criticizing his cousins, or saying how much he couldn't stand his mother. Sometimes he'd talk about his little brother, and then his words were kinder – usually when he was telling a story – "Reg and I…". Yet, no matter what, he would jump to their defense, as he had done that night, in a flash. Now he was pretty much admitting that his family wasn't happy. James didn't know what to make of it.

"So…" James said cautiously, "what do you think it does then?" Sirius gave a sigh and let himself fall backward over the armrest of the couch so that he was laying with his legs curled over the arm.

"I don't know" he said, sounding upset still. James went and sprawled out on the floor in front of the fire. _Odd how this is almost always alight…_

"What language do you think that was up at the top of it?" James pressed.

"No clue."

The two boys stayed up for nearly another hour discussing the potential actions of the mysterious mirror. Sirius had been reluctant at first, but James had managed to get him intrigued enough to shoot off ideas with him. They supposed, by the time they decided to call it a night, that the mirror had some way of showing them things that they wanted or wished for.

Over the next few days, James wanted to see it again to test the theory. He went back several times, and every time saw the same reflection of his older Quidditch-cup-winning self. Remus and Peter accompanied him for a couple of the night escapades to the mirror. They too, saw things that they wanted, though Remus' didn't make much sense to James. Remus saw himself standing outside in the moonlight under a full moon, just smiling and happy. It was odd, James thought, but Remus had simply mumbled something about liking full-moons. Peter flushed bright red when he told them that he saw himself taller and muscular, and well-liked.

Sirius stubbornly refused to return to the mirror on all but one of their trips. As it was, he stared transfixed at the mirror for a good five minutes and then abruptly left to go back to the dormitory without even waiting so that he could travel back under the cloak. They thought it was odd, but they didn't pester him about it. None of them seemed to be as enthralled by the mirror as James was; yet, after several trips James decided he'd rather explore other areas of the castle than keep returning to "vainly stare at his own reflection" – as Sirius had so mockingly put it. _Coming from the boy who takes a half hour to get ready each morning!_ James had thought back. He hadn't said it back aloud though, knowing Sirius well enough to notice when he was only putting up a taunting front to hide the way he was really feeling.

* * *

 **(Peter Pettigrew)**

Peter was alone in the dormitory with Remus; he was struggling to complete the transfiguration essay that professor McGonagall had assigned them. It was a challenging assignment, and it was taking him quite a while.

"Remus?" Peter asked his new friend. Remus had come a little more out of his shell in the past week as they had spent time exploring the castle and visiting the large golden-framed mirror. For one thing, he spoke at an audible tone around them now. He also seemed more comfortable speaking around them, no longer waiting to be specifically addressed in order to give his thoughts. What they'd learned was that Remus was very intelligent and well-read. He might not have had the same natural abilities that James and Sirius had in lessons, but he could give them a run for their money anyway with the amount of studying he did.

"Yes, Peter?" Remus asked, putting a finger on the page where he left off as he looked up from his own bed.

"Do you understand the Transfiguration assignment?" Peter asked, not wanting to come across as stupid or needy. To his immense relief, Remus didn't look at all condescending.

"Yes. It was a tricky one though. Would you like some help so you'll finish faster?" He asked tactfully. Peter gave him a guilty smile.

"If you wouldn't mind."

"I don't mind at all" Remus said cheerfully, getting up from the bed to join Peter on his. The next hour or so was spent with Remus patiently explaining the theory behind the spells to him. It made a world of difference to his essay.

 _I definitely had this wrong._

Peter was just finishing up the conclusion when the dormitory door burst open and James and Sirius came bounding in, talking so loudly that they were yelling.

"I just wish I had a time-turner so I could see his face again and again" James shouted, laughing. Sirius made a ridiculous expression that was clearly meant to be the impression of whomever they were referring to. James burst into a new fit of laughter, doubling over.

"Who's face?" Peter asked, eager to join in on the fun.

"Filch" Sirius said through a smirk. "We… we…" but he couldn't get the words about. Apparently the mere memory of what they had just done was enough to send him into hysterical laughter as well.

Remus was looking apprehensive as he got up and crossed back over to his own bed. He'd told Peter before how he liked the idea of pranks well enough, but that he didn't like it when anyone was too put out by them.

"He got what he deserved for making us polish all those trophies by hand" James laughed.

"We made his cat talk" Sirius managed through his laugher.

"How?!" Peter asked, a huge grin spreading across his face.

"Carina" James laughed. "We charmed the cat so her voice would come out of its mouth."

"He fell for it. He's probably still talking to her now." Sirius adopted the grisly voice of the caretaker. "Say it again, my sweet. Talk."

"What did Carina have the cat say?" Remus asked, though he sounded more like he was concerned with damage control than the hilarity of the prank.

"Loads of stuff" James replied, flopping down onto his bed. "That she was really a sorceress, and that she'd turn him into a cat for the rest of his life if he wasn't nicer to the students… that she was secretly in love with him… that Gryffindors were the best and he shouldn't ever give them detentions again."

All four of them were laughing now, even Remus.

"Carina was brilliant" Sirius added, swinging from one arm from one of his bottom bedposts. "She had James crying, he was laughing so hard."

"An' ole Filch clung to every word. Didn't even think for a moment that it was off that his cat just started talking to him."

"I knew you'd open up to me some day, my sweet" Sirius imitated Filch's words again, making all four of them laugh even harder.

* * *

 **(Remus Lupin)**

The first few weeks of school passed in one surreal blur. Remus could hardly believe his almost immediate acceptance as a friend to his three dorm-mates.

James Potter and Sirius Black, although both overly confident and self-righteous, were quickly becoming the most fun and entertaining people he had ever met. Their constant witty and comical remarks and jibes at one another, along with their inherent disregard for rules and authority, had allowed them to gain an almost immediate reputation among the professors. Yet, despite their incessant need to talk back to the prefects and professors, and the frequent harmless pranks that they pulled in their classes, the professors still seemed to enjoy them. It was clear from the start that both James and Sirius were some of the brightest and talented students in their year.

The two boys, although easily poking fun at others they barely knew, were quite kind to him. Remus seemed to be exempt from the worst of their jokes and pranks on account of the fact that he shared a room with them. Peter on the other hand, despite the fact that he too shared their dormitory, tended to be the source of Sirius' jokes a little too frequently for Remus' comfort. Peter was permitted to sit with them, and they stopped others from mocking him – which often occurred on account of Peter's rather slower than average thought-processing skills -, yet Peter was often the subject of Sirius' jibes back in the dormitory.

Their respect for Remus however - and Remus did not quite understand how he'd earned the respect of the two boys that the rest of the school rather admired yet feared to cross - was quite evident. The first time they had consulted Remus for his opinion, Remus was so shocked that he could only stammer out his response. But they seemed to take his shyness as endearing, and they appeared – much to Remus' delight and surprise – to be rather fond of him. Remus was so blissfully happy to meet and get to know other boys his own age for the first time. James, Sirius, and Peter were all very kind to him - a luxury he had never dared to hope for before attending school. Over the last few weeks, he had grown to know each of their personalities in turn.

James was rather self-righteous. Despite often pranking others himself, he more than often took it upon himself to attempt to defend others from real - or imagined - injustices. James often spoke of Gryffindor as if it had been his life's ambition to prove his loyalty and courage so that he was worthy of such an honorable house. Furthermore - as Remus would have noticed without Sirius' somewhat frequent assertions – James was rather spoilt by his affectionate mother and father. They sent him weekly care packages of sweets and homemade baked goods. In addition, they had also conceded to him insisting on getting a new faster broomstick, so that he could practice on it by the time he was home for break. Nevertheless, James was very kind; his pranks never harmed anyone, and his jokes were made only in good fun. He cared very much for his fellow Gryffindors, and he treated each of them as warmly as if he'd known them for his entire life. He was loyal to his house and to his friends, and he seemed to feel responsible for protecting anyone who could not protect themselves. He was prone to mischief in the spirit of seeking adventure, however. Yet, James' recklessness seemed to have met his match in Sirius Black.

Sirius was similar to James in many ways. Unlike James, although equally as bright, he did not spend much time at all on his studies. Instead, he explored the castle, planned elaborate pranks, served almost daily detentions, and generally went around the dormitory being as unconducive to everyone else's' studying as he could possibly be. Yet, despite the wild and friendly side he showed his friends, he walked about the castle with an air of entitlement that even James – as un-humble as he was - did not possess. Other students most definitely feared to get on his bad side, for although he was not mean, he had an unusually quick and formidable temper, and more than a few of his pranks were not quite as harmless as James'.

Nevertheless, Sirius seemed to reserve a very different attitude for his interactions with Remus: during which conversations he seemed to be consciously aware of the fact that to speak anything but mildly might unnerve his shy friend. And then of course there was the side of him that only presented itself when he was forced to interact with the Slytherins that he had grown up with. It was at those times when he sounded and acted as if he truly did believe that he was better than everyone because of his family's fortune and pureblood lineage. "You have to hit 'em where they think it matters." Sirius had tried explaining "It's the only thing that'll shut them up."

Then there was little Peter. In Remus' opinion, Peter was by far the kindest and most considerate of the three. He was noticeably insecure about himself, which was perhaps another reason why Remus felt more comfortable around him than he did the other two. Peter didn't go about yelling and jumping around making a spectacle of himself, nor did he go out of his way to prank others. He was often the first one to catch on when Remus had been wondering if he was welcome around them during the earliest weeks of school; he could be counted on to offer a friendly smile and a thoughtful "let's sit together in class again, Remus", which Remus was beyond grateful for. Peter already seemed to idolize James and Sirius - especially James, who seemed to have a considerable amount more patience for him than Sirius did. He followed them around with fierce admiration. Remus enjoyed Peter's company, for he was sweet and friendly, and not at all intimidating like the others.

The four of them were taking supper in the Great Hall when the now very familiar large black owl arrived beside Sirius' plate. There was a thick envelope in its talons. Sirius snatched it up off of the table as the bird took flight. He looked positively livid as he opened his daily letter and scanned through it. As he read, he seemed to grow paler, and he sunk lower into his seat.

"You alright, mate?" James asked.

"Incendio," Sirius muttered, setting the letter ablaze in front of them. "So glad I learned that one. Quite." They had seen Sirius destroy nearly all of his letters in various ways over the past weeks, so they knew already that he was not going to say more on the subject. They resumed their dinner, but Remus thought he could hear a very small pained sound from the boy to his left.

* * *

 **(Remus Lupin)**

Remus was jolted awake to the sound of a loud familiar chorus. He opened his eyes to see that his bed curtains had already been pulled back. Three boys stood at the foot of his bed belting out the Happy Birthday song. Remus was shocked, but he was instantly smiling. _I didn't tell them that today is my birthday._ He wondered how they had found out.

"….To You!" they finished, not all quite at the same time.

"Th-thank you" Remus said in surprise. He'd never had friends to share a birthday with before. "How did you know?"

"After this one" James nudged Sirius "didn't tell us when it was his birthday, I made a point to find out when the rest of yours' were." James was grinning triumphantly.

"That was really nice of you" Remus replied.

"Tosh!" James said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Now get up and open your presents." _Plural?_ Remus sat forward and saw that there were in fact four presents sitting on top of his trunk. The neatly wrapped one was easily recognizable as being from his mother and father. The other three, which were all wrapped in the same golden gift wrap, were clearly from his friends. _They got me gifts._ He was so happy, so surprised, and he felt so fortunate to have such kind friends.

Remus sat up and James scooped up the four presents and placed them on Remus' bed. Then he sat down on the foot of Remus' bed. Peter knelt on the now cleared trunk, watching Remus expectantly. Sirius leaned against the bottom left bedpost, his arms folded, with a satisfied grin on his face. Remus looked down at the gifts, not knowing which to open first. Yet, since he didn't know which gold present was from who, he didn't have to worry about offending anyone.

"Here" James said impatiently. "Open the big flat one." Remus reached for it and was surprised at how heavy it was; it had to be ten pounds at least. He ripped off the gold wrappings as a wide smile crossed his face. It was a chess board, a beautiful thick marble chess board.

"Do you like it?" James asked eagerly.

"I love it" Remus said breathlessly and running his palm over the smooth cold surface.

"It was my idea" Sirius put in.

"It's beautiful, thank you. It was a brilliant idea."

It was much nicer than the one his parents had at home, and Remus tried not to think about how much gold his friends must have spent on it. The second gift was revealed to be the white and the black chess men, and the third gift was a large box of assorted candy.

"This is incredible. Thank you all. It's too much, really..." Remus said, the likely cost of his gift beginning to sink in.

"Don't be daft" Sirius replied flatly. "Once James and I decided on a chess set, we weren't about to get you a bad one. We have to play on it too, after all." He gave a wink.

"Yeah, figured we'd lose to you in style" James added with a chuckle.

"The candy is from me" Peter added quietly. "I know it's not as exciting as a new chess board and set…"

"It's perfectly exciting, Peter" Remus assured him truthfully. "I can't wait to eat it." This made Peter smile broadly.

As his friends busied themselves getting ready for the day's lessons, Remus was left to open the gift from his parents without them watching. He was thankful that he was no longer the center of attention. He opened the card first; it was written in his mother's hand.

 ** _._**

 ** _Dearest Remus,_**

 ** _Happy eleventh Birthday to the most wonderful son any parents could ask for! Your father and I are so proud of you and all that you have accomplished! We've been missing you so much these past few weeks since you left for school. I can hardly wait until the Christmas holiday so that I can wrap my arms around you again. (No getting any taller while I am not there! No growing up without me!) Oh, Remus, we love you so much. You deserve to have the greatest birthday in the world, darling. We hope you enjoy your birthday gift! Happy Birthday!_**

 ** _Love Always,_**

 ** _Mum and Dad_**

 ** _._**

Remus felt so much joy from his mother's words, but they also made him miss her very much. It was hard living with his secret each day, fearing that he'd be found out, and having no one to confide in nearby. He appreciated her including his father in her words, though he knew what she said about him being proud of him wasn't true. Lyall was ashamed to have a werewolf for a son; it wasn't something he had managed to keep a secret from Remus and his mother. He wasn't a bad person. He tried to remain a good husband and a good father. He had stood by them and supported them, and he had never been cruel to either of them. Remus knew his father loved him – or, at least he loved him as the human son that he was before he was bitten at the age of four. To Lyall, his real son died that day along with all of Remus's chances at a normal, healthy, happy, successful life.

Still, he smiled, folding the letter and putting it in the drawer of his night table. He turned to his gift, already having a pretty good idea as to what it was. His guess was confirmed when he unwrapped two novels by his favorite author. Promising himself that he'd find time to read them despite his intense homework load, Remus set them on the night table and began to get ready for the day.

* * *

 **(Sirius Black)**

Sirius gave a laugh at something James had just said about that strange sallow-looking Snape kid in Slytherin – the one they'd pranked earlier that year.

"I think that's a perfect name for him, James" Sirius agreed. "Snivellus the slimy."

Beside him, Remus staring down at his plate, evidently not approving of them making fun of anyone. Nevertheless, beside James, Peter was choking on his food through his laughter, as he showed his high approval of the nickname.

"What's so hilarious?" Anne asked from somewhere behind him. Sirius turned his head back a little to see that the first year girls - Anne, Carina, Lily, Rene and Violet - had just arrived at the table. The girls joined the table. Lily, Rene, and Violet were a little father down from them than Anne and Carina, and they were having their own conversation.

 _So that's how they've divided themselves then._

Carina sat beside him on his left – Remus was on his right – and Anne sat beside her.

"Nothing" James said, suddenly conscious of the fact that not everyone would approve of him being mean to Snape, especially since Lily was so close with him.

The mail arrived mid-way through their meal. Sirius could feel his stomach sinking lower as his mother's owl flew down to him. He took the letter, intent on keeping his face inexpressive. Around him, his new friends were reading their mail as well.

 _James…_ he thought with a jealous huff. _James and his foot-long letter about how wonderful he is. As if he could have forgotten…_

He broke the wax seal, which was embedded with his family's crest and motto – Toujours Pur – and began to read his mother's elegant script. Her handwriting had always been lavish and neat, as if the amount of flourish she put into her writing directly correlated to her level of high class. Her writing was practically microscopic, so that even though the letter was only six inches long, she'd managed to fit the amount of words that would one would normally use to fill a foot. Over the month he'd noticed that her penmanship seemed to get even smaller when she was growing from angry to furious to livid. Today, he judged the size to be somewhere between angry and furious.

 ** _I hope you're happy with yourself._** What a way for a letter to begin. She didn't bother to address him formally with a greeting in her letters now that he'd been sorted into Gryffindor. He could practically hear her sarcastic hateful screeching voice screaming inside his head as he read on.

 ** _._**

 ** _I hope you're happy with yourself. Your revolting, pathetic, disgraceful behavior disgusts me! When I get you inside this house again, you will regret the day you ever had the unfathomably selfish audacity and carelessness to be sorted into that filthy traitorous house! How such a vile shameful stupid creature ever came from my flesh and blood remains a mystery to me. Have you no ambition?! Have you no pride?! No honor?!_**

 ** _Your brother is beside himself at your lack of consideration for this family. Your father could not be more ashamed to have you for an heir. You are a worthless, pitiful, horrible child! You are a waste of the noble Black blood. Your poor grandparents are still in shock that such a thing could have happened._**

 ** _"_** ** _Where did I go wrong?!" they asked me. Where did I go wrong, as if it was I who had permitted you to be such an abhorrent little abomination. I suppose, because I bore you, that somehow makes me responsible for your traitorous nature? I think not. When I get my hands on you, you will rue the day you were born. I could not be more mortified to call such an atrocity of nature my own child._**

 ** _Your father and I remain outraged and repulsed by your incessant consistency to disappoint. I am sick and tired of your scandalous behavior. I wish that I never had to look upon you again._**

 ** _You have disgraced this entire family, and all of your noble ancestors. You are a detestable, worthless excuse for an heir. I hope you're happy with yourself._**

 ** _Your exceptionally displeased Mother_**

 ** _._**

Just like all her other letters, it was filled with her rage and disappointment over what a shameful traitor he was for his sorting. _None of them care that it was the hat who sorted me, not me._

In some ways, they maybe thought that that was worse. He hadn't just been impudent and rebellious and chosen Gryffindor; instead there was something fundamentally wrong with him – he truly wasn't a Slytherin, and the hat knew it.

Sirius looked up from the letter, folding it quickly so that no one else would see it. James was still reading his own letter, smiling broadly, and occasionally letting out a laugh. Jealousy poured through every ounce of him. He didn't want to feel that way towards James; James was his friend. Yet, he couldn't help it. It wasn't fair that James' parents – that seemingly everyone else's parents had been thrilled to have their son or daughter in Gryffindor, but not his. _No. Not my parents. My parents think it's the worst thing that I could have ever done…and it wasn't even something I did on purpose._

Struggling to control his temper, he set the letter down beside him. He wasn't going to replay her words in his head today until he had them memorized; he wasn't going to take it out and re-read the parts about his brother and his father being so unhappy with him; he wasn't going to let her threats give him nightmares again. … _Then why aren't I ripping up this letter right now?_ The letter lay to the left of his plate, unharmed.

 _I will rip it up. I will._ He asserted, but as he looked down to get the letter, it wasn't there. In a split second of panic he noticed that Carina was holding it – reading it! Her eyes were scanning the page quickly. He wanted to lash out at her, grab back the letter, scream at her, and tell her that if she ever told anyone what she had read he'd kill her. But he couldn't move. He was frozen in place – in horror and mortification – as he watched her finish reading and look up at him.

He couldn't find words. Without even looking apologetic, she ripped the letter in half herself and then handed him the pieces.

"You always destroy your letters. I was curious. Here." To his surprise she nonchalantly handed him her own letter from home. He was glaring at her, but was still too mortified to speak. He took her letter and stared down at it. _It's not the same. My letter was awful. It's not alright just because you let me read your mail. Your letter is probably fine._

The script of the letter was elegant and light and characteristically feminine. Surprisingly, it was written in dark blue ink instead of black. He began to read.

 ** _._**

 ** _Carina,_**

 ** _I've no time for formalities. We are displeased. Your father, brothers, and I are astounded that you weren't sorted into Ravenclaw. I've appeased them on your behalf, however…you're most welcome. After all, what does it matter if you are unintelligent? Your duty to this family is to marry well and bear sons; one does not need brains to do so adequately._**

 ** _Furthermore, it seems Lord Gray has taken ill and will therefore be searching for a more immediate suitor for his son. Rest assured, your father will find an appropriate match for you before you become too old for any man to find appealing. Accept this hard blow with the grace and dignity that is expected. We will at least be receiving a large sum from Lord Gray as penance for his breaking off the engagement. We will likely add it to your dowry._**

 ** _Lastly, remember to restrict your diet to the simplest and healthiest of foods. Beauty is so very important for a young woman to uphold. Thus, it is particularly critical for you since you now do not even have the promise of intelligence to add to your repertoire. Oh, and do try to restrain the use of your witty tongue, Carina. A lady should be seen and enjoyed, rather than heard…as you very well should know._**

 ** _Fondly,_**

 ** _Your Mother_**

 ** _._**

He looked up at her in surprise. Sure, he had heard his own family members speak of similar to matters to his female cousins, but they had never been talked down to in such a way. His family had always been run much more by the women than by the men. Women were to be put up on pedestals, not traded and bargained for money. Of course his family used dowries as well, but still…that was to be expected in high society.

Then there were the instructions to stay thin, beautiful, and keep her mouth shut. He couldn't imagine anyone saying such a thing to the women in his family. The speaker would likely have their head sliced off. Carina was already a very slight delicately framed girl; it surely wasn't possibly for her to get any thinner without beginning to look ill. If Carina was supposed to be keeping quiet at school, she was doing the exact opposite; she was witty and outgoing; she always spoke her mind no matter who she was speaking to. The recent cat prank rose to his mind.

What was more was that her parents too were unhappy with her sorting into Gryffindor. She hadn't let it show of course – then again, neither had he. Perhaps he was not as alone as he thought.

"Do me a favor, will you?" She asked him matter-of-factly when she saw he'd stopped reading. Sirius looked up at her, his eyes filled with a multitude of emotions over learning more about Carina's family. She shoved a camera into his hands.

"Take a photo for me. Make sure you get my plate."

Sirius looked down at the plate that she'd piled six inches high with pastries. Then she picked up a doughnut in her right hand and a Danish in her left hand, smirked recklessly, and took a bite out of the doughnut. Sirius snapped the photo.

A puff of smoke erupted from the camera, and a photo slid out of the front near the bottom. She took the camera back and looked at the photo eagerly. Sirius watched as the Carina in the photo continued to make her way through all of the pastries, eating each one.

Carina gave a small laugh. Then she took out a quill and ink and wrote on the back of her mother's letter.

 ** _._**

 ** _I've received your letter, Mother. I assure you that I will take this tragic news with the upmost dignity and grace. Tell Christian that if he dares to hold my intelligence in question again, he will find himself in more than just a battle of wits. Hoping you are all enjoying your time without me as much as I enjoyed these pastries._**

 ** _Your Gryffindor daughter,_**

 ** _Carina_**

 ** _._**

With that, Carina stuck the photo and the letter into an envelope and sent it off with her mother's owl.

"Tragedy indeed" she said with a sarcastic smirk. She pushed the plate of food away from her. "I think we're probably the only ones; don't you?"

Sirius knew exactly what she was referring to, because it was what he had been thinking as well. Only he had now seemed to recover a bit since the initial shock of her reading his letter.

"You can't just read someone's mail" he said forcefully. Luckily, no one else around them seemed to be paying them any attention. Anne and James were engaged in some type of debate, and Peter and Remus were listening.

"You'll find that I always do what I want" she said unapologetically. "At least here" she added in reference to the school. "I assume that you can understand that desire?"

"You shouldn't assume anything about me" Sirius snapped. "You don't know anything about me, and you had no right to read my letter."

"Perhaps assume was the wrong word. I should have said I 'all but know', for despite what my family seems to think, I am not a clueless little doll. I'm perfectly perceptive, and I know that you and I a lot alike. We aren't the same, but we're alike. I won't apologize for sneaking through the barrier you've put up. One day you'll be glad I read your letter."

Sirius gawked at her bold unwavering confidence. _What she did was wrong. She can't just go around reading people's personal mail._

"You're unbelievable" he scoffed, wanting to be angry, but his fury was overshadowed by her utterly astounding self-assuredness.

"I know" she replied as if he had complimented her. She effortlessly rejoined the others in conversation. Sirius sat there astounded for several minutes until he finally came to his senses. _She can't tell anyone._

"Carina" he said flatly, and she turned. "You can't –" he began, but she cut him off before he could finish. This time she was empathetic. Her blue eyes softened as she took in his desperate expression.

"I won't." Then she smiled, "As long as you don't ever tell my mother that I didn't actually eat all of these pastries." He wanted to smile at her joke, but realty was crashing down on him.

 _She knows. This girl knows about how my mother is. She knows about who I really am…weak, worthless, bad._

"Sirius" she whispered calmly, staring into his eyes. "I understand. I really do. I won't tell anyone. I'm quite skilled at keeping secrets."

All he could do was stare back at her, hoping more than anything that she was telling the truth. He felt sick.

After breakfast, she and Anne took their usual seats behind him and James in each of their classes. As the day went on, he realized that she wasn't treating him any differently now that she knew: she wasn't treating him like he should be mocked, or worse - pitied. On the contrary, she smiled at him as if they were bonded. They both knew each other's secrets - at least some of them - now. As the day went on, she didn't try to force a conversation about either of their letters or their families. She acted friendly and natural the same way that she always had. _Maybe she's alright. Maybe we are alike. Maybe she could understand._


	8. Chapter 7: The Full Moon

_**Author's Note: Thank you very much to everyone who left a review! I'm not able to reply directly to the guest reviews, so I'll just say thank you so much here! :-) I really appreciate the reviews!**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **.**_

* * *

 **(Remus Lupin)**

A few days had passed since his birthday. The full moon was rising that night, and Remus awoke Sunday morning with a sense of eminent dread. His limbs felt heavy and he clenched his eyes closed tighter, trying to pretend that he had more time. Even more than the change and the pain, he feared that the others would discover his secret. How could they not? They weren't stupid. Once they knew the truth, he could say goodbye to having friends, to being accepted, forever. And if they told, well then he'd have to leave Hogwarts, and then he'd never become a proper wizard, and –. His terrified musings were interrupted by someone opening his left bed curtains. Sirius looked down at him.

"Morning" he said cheerfully "It's half past nine, mate. You're going to miss breakfast if you don't get up."

"Oh. Thanks." Remus said quietly, wishing that he could just fall back asleep and pretend that the night was not rapidly approaching.

"All right?" Sirius asked, sounding a bit concerned.

Remus pulled himself into a sitting position.

"I'm fine. Just sleepy."

"Would you rather we just brought something back for you?" He questioned thoughtfully.

"No thanks. I'll come down with you."

After quickly changing into his robes, Remus could feel his stomach turning and his head spinning as the four of them headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Upon arrival, Remus wished he hadn't come. He could barely manage the lengthy walk down so many steps let alone the smell of the food. He never could manage to eat right before or after the full moon; food didn't taste right, and the very smell of it was nauseating. At the table, Remus put a few orange slices and bacon strips on his plate to blend in. Though it was significantly less than what he normally consumed at breakfast, he didn't want to risk putting any more smells right under his nose. His dorm-mates were talking about Quidditch - James' favorite topic of conversation for any time of day. Remus could barely keep his head up let alone follow their conversation. Then he noticed Sirius staring at him, a fretful expression on his face.

"Remus, are you feeling okay? You look really sick. Do you want me to take you to the hospital wing?" Remus deliberated for a moment. Sirius looked so genuinely concerned.

 _If only he knew his concern was for a werewolf and not for a human._ Remus thought, _I bet I'd get no more consideration then. Not that I deserve any._

"Remus?" Sirius asked again. Remus sat considering whether or not he'd be able to make it to the hospital wing on his own. The last thing he wanted to do was draw attention to the fact that he was getting sick on the night of the full moon. He must have taken too long to respond again, because Sirius was swinging his legs to the other side of the bench; he was standing up behind Remus, and then Remus could feel two strong hands pulling him to his feet by his shoulders. "Up you get, Remus."

Remus didn't argue. He rose to his feet without complaint and allowed Sirius to lead him, hands still on his shoulders and somewhat helping him stand, out the door of the Great Hall and down to the hospital wing. Of course Madam Pomfrey was expecting to see him that day, but Sirius didn't know that. Remus prayed that she would remember to keep his cover and not let Sirius know that he was to go to her that day.

"Madam," Sirius said as soon as they entered the otherwise empty hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey hurried over to them.

"Yes, my dear? Are you feeling ill?" _Thank God._ Remus allowed himself to breathe again. She was acting as if she didn't already know him, as if she hadn't been expecting him.

"This is Remus Lupin. He's sick. We came from breakfast." At that point Madam Pomfrey hurried over to a bed and patted it.

"Ah, yes. Bring him over here dear. Now there, Remus, lie down and rest." She placed a hand on his forehead. "A fever I see." Then she gave Sirius a rather dismissive nod. He did not move from the side of Remus' bed. "It was very kind of you to bring your friend here dear, but now he needs his rest. It's best if you'd be off."

"I can stay a while." Sirius said casually. He sat down on the side of the next bed and swung his legs back and forth to show that he was quite settled in.

"I'm afraid not Mr. …?"

"Black. Sirius Black."

"Well, Mr. Black, your friend needs his rest and you should be on your way. I'll give you a minute to say farewell while I go get a potion for him." She walked off and entered her office.

"Don't worry" Sirius whispered. "I can stay as long as you want."

"But she said- " Remus began. Sirius gave a chuckle.

"I don't care what she said. If you want me to stay with you, I will." Remus couldn't help but smile. This was what having a friend was like. _No. Not exactly. A friend wouldn't have to lie to him to get him out of the room. A friend wouldn't have to hide such a terrible unforgivable secret._

"Th-thanks, Sirius. But I'm fine. I'll probably go back to sleep and it'll be dreadfully boring for you to stay here. It's just a fever; no need to make a fuss." To his great relief, Sirius gave him a grin.

"Alright, I only thought you may not want me to, with you being so shy and all."

"I'll be fine. Thank you for bringing me."

"T 'was nothing. Feel better." And Sirius left just as Madam Pomfrey was returning.

"He seems a very thoughtful boy, now doesn't he?" She muttered to him as she handed him an orange potion to drink. It tasted like basil and something gross that Remus didn't want to take a guess at. "I'm so glad to see that you are making friends, Remus. This is to help with the aches and pains. Come now, let's move you into your private room."

"Thank you, Madam" Remus said softly. He felt like such a burden.

"Oh hush, dear. No need to thank me." She helped him into a private room that was through her office, so that no other student would know that it was there. Inside the room there was also a door that had been added that year. It led to a private corridor that led directly outside to the grounds near the newly planted willow tree. She helped him get settled in to the new bed, which had clean crisp white sheets and a thick blanket with the Hogwarts crest on the front. The room had no windows, but it was still quite light from the candles lit along the walls. "Now, Remus, tell me what else can I do to make you comfortable?"

This was much more consideration than he had expected. No one gave a werewolf pain medication, let alone asked how they could help them as they suffered from their curse. No one except his mother and father, of course.

"Oh no, Madam" he said quickly. "You've done more than enough. You are so kind. I – I don't deserve it."

"Nonsense!" She said forcefully but still soft. "I don't want to hear any self-deprecating talk out of you, young man. You deserve just as much care as any of my patients. And, seeing as you are my only patient today, you have me at your full disposal. Now, what still hurts?"

Remus could not believe the tenderness of her care towards him throughout the day. He was hardly allowed to step foot in the wizarding hospital of Saint Mungo's, and yet here she was attending to him as if he were a human child and not a werewolf. He slept for most of the day, and then at about an hour before sunset, she roused him gently. He knew where they were heading. He and his parents had come earlier that year before school started to see the precautions that Dumbledore had set in place for him. When it was dusk, she led him gingerly down the private corridor, to the willow, through the secret entryway, down the passage, through the trapdoor, and into the small wooden home. The windows were boarded, like he remembered, and he knew that the walls and windows, and even the trapdoor had spells upon them so that the wolf could not get through them – no matter how hard it tried.

"M-Madam?" He asked, trembling with fear for what was to come.

"Yes dear?" She asked gently.

"Wh-what will I tell my friends when they ask why I wasn't in the dormitory or the hospital wing?"

"Well, Remus, you may tell them whatever you wish to tell them. Since you have already expressed your desire for absolute secrecy, I suggest you tell them that you went home to visit your family."

"Yes, Madam. Th-that is a good idea." He hated the idea of lying to his new friends – of lying to anyone really – but there was no way around it. He had to stay at school. He had to become a proper wizard. _I can't tell them. I can never tell them. They'd hate me._

"There now. I will tell them the same if they come by asking for you. Do not worry, Remus. No one will ever know unless you choose to tell them yourself. Now, is there anything else I can do for you? Anything I can help you with?"

"N-no thank you Madam. I'm sorry to be such a burden."

"I'll have none of that Remus. You could never be a burden. I will be back here at first light to collect you and see to any injuries."

"Th-thank you."

"Good luck, dear."

And like that, he was alone: alone in the dark cold room of the abandoned house. It was furnished with couches, chairs, a very large four-poster bed, and a restroom. He didn't need any of that of course. The wolf only wanted one thing. Flesh. It would spend hours trying to escape the confines of the house, and when it realized that it could not get out to hunt, it would rip and bite and tear at the only flesh there was available: itself – Remus.

Remus took a shuddering breath and undressed. He put his robes inside of a cupboard so that the wolf wouldn't rip them to shreds. Then he sat on the armchair in the main siting room with his legs curled up. He longed to be home, where he knew that his mother and father would be there to care for him when the first of the morning light arrived. There was no stopping what was to come: the loss of control, the loss of dignity, the pain. He sat in terror for a few minutes before the first tremors of the change began to wrack through his small body. He gave a cry of pain and fell forward onto the floor. The world around him was gone, and all he could think about was the terror of what was happening, and all he could feel was pain.

* * *

 **(Remus Lupin)**

There was a light touch on his forehead as someone smoothed his hair away from his face.

"You're alright, Remus."

Who was that voice? And for a moment he was in utter panic. Someone had found him? How was he going to explain this away? But, then he realized that it was the matron. He was in the little house in the village by Hogwarts. He tried to open his mouth to speak but all he could express was a gasp of pain.

"Shh, dear. Don't speak. I'm going to heal you and you will be right as rain." Remus could not move. Bones were broken and he had large bleeding wounds. Slowly and gently, the matron began to heal his broken bones and close his lacerations. He could feel the familiar burning warmth as each bone snapped back into its rightful human place. As she mended him, he became aware that she had placed a blanket over him for his benefit. He was still shivering, and he was wet – _blood_. The horror of it all was something he had never gotten fully used to.

When he was healed enough to make the journey back to the castle, they took the trip. He could barely walk, but he refused her offer to conjure a stretcher for fear that an early riser might look out a window of the castle and see them. She had come very close to overriding his wishes for the sake of his health, but relented when he became adamant to the point of hysterics. Remus felt ashamed for his reaction to her offer as they walked slowly to the castle, but he knew that it was necessary. _She doesn't understand._ He was certain that if someone saw him returning to the castle looking injured on a stretcher after the night of a full moon, they'd be able to connect the dots quickly enough. _It's not worth the risk._

Once he was back in his private room at the hospital wing, he drank the potions Madam Pomfrey gave him, and he fell back into a deep sleep. Over the course of the day, he was roused only so that he could take additional doses of his potions. He spent all of Monday recovering, drifting in and out of consciousness. On Tuesday, he managed to sit up in bed and take in a little soup. He was still weak and sore. The large bruises that he'd given himself were still very visible; bruises wouldn't heal fully with magic, though the matron's spells had clearly expedited the process. He did not want to miss any more classes lest he fall too behind, nor did he want to draw any added attention to himself via prolonged absences. He'd missed Monday's lessons while he was laying in yesterday, and Madam Pomfrey did not seem keen on the idea of letting him attend his lessons that day either. He begged the matron to let him return to the dormitory that night so that he could attend classes on Wednesday. After considerable hesitation, she agreed on the conditions that he get a lot of rest and would not overexert himself.

That evening, as Remus walked slowly and rather painfully up to Gryffindor tower, he became more and more nervous the nearer he got to the portrait hole. His pace became slower as he realized he was walking into a situation that could end very badly. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest with each passing step.

 _What if they guess? What if they know? What if they're just waiting for me to return so they can - ?_ He cut his thoughts of abruptly. _I have to go back._ He told himself firmly. _I have to go up there either way. … I can do this._ His right hand closed tightly around the wand in his pocket. He'd reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Password?" she asked in a deep voice. Remus swallowed. _I don't have to go back. I could just leave now. Go to the headmaster and tell him this was a big mistake – No. I can't do that either._ He wasn't about to give up school. He wasn't about to give up on his future. Hogwarts was his only chance. He would tell his dorm-mates that he had gone home. He would say he was feeling better. He hoped that they would leave it at that. Still, he couldn't bring himself to utter the password. It was exhausting to stand, and he was already light-headed from the long journey up to Gryffindor tower, but he found himself just standing there.

"Forget the password, Lupin?" came a questioning voice from behind him. Remus jumped a mile. "Sorry!" Frank Longbottom said hurriedly, looking at him with concern as he took in his battered state. Remus could feel the third year's eyes combing over him, seeing the bruises. "Are you alright?"

Remus was too petrified to answer, so he merely nodded. Frank was still looking at him with worry etched across his face.

"Alright…" Frank said slowly. It was clear that he was reluctant to let it drop. Remus knew that Frank and James were good friends, so he knew Frank must be nice. "Inlustris." The portrait swung open. Frank stood aside to let Remus enter first. He had no choice now, he had to enter. Remus muttered a thanks and went in.

"Frank!" The red-headed twins in Frank's year called over to him as soon as he entered the common room behind Remus. Remus saw Frank grin at them.

"Remus" Frank said, catching his arm lightly. He spoke softly so that only Remus would hear him. "D'you... d'you need someone to talk to… about anything?"

Remus wanted to cry. _Why is this starting already? How am I ever going to do this for seven years?_

"N-No" Remus replied, trying not to come across as ungrateful. He knew that Frank's intentions were in the right place. _I have to lie to everyone._ He loathed the curse more than anything. Frank hadn't released his arm; he looked unsure of what to say.

"Will you tell me what happened?" he asked. Remus was caught so off guard that he just shook his head 'no'. Frank looked disappointed but not surprised. "I know we don't know each other that well, but I'm here… you know?" He let his arm go.

"Thanks" Remus muttered in barely a whisper. He needed to get out of the center of the common room. He needed to go upstairs and hide inside his bed curtains. Remus had made it to the bottom of the spiral staircase before Frank was at his side again, looking worried and uncomfortable.

"Lupin" he said a bit urgently. Remus turned back to him reluctantly. _If I don't sit down soon I'm going to pass out._ "Maybe James?" _What?_ Frank clearly saw his confusion. "Maybe talk to James. He's your friend, yeah? I've known him forever and… well, I just mean..." Frank gave an awkward shrug. "…You could talk to him."

Remus needed to get away. He gave Frank what he hoped was an appreciative nod.

"Okay. Thanks, Frank" he mumbled, telling him what he wanted to hear. _Please just let it go. Forget you saw me. This is what I get for not just saying the password and going in like I should have!_ But, Frank gave him a relieved smile and backed away.

Remus made his way up the staircase with agonizing slowness. When he reached his door, he felt nearly ready to collapse. The door to the dormitory felt heavier than usual as he pushed it open to the sound of three loud voices.

"The Chudley Cannons don't have a thing on the Harpies" Sirius was saying loudly despite James' loud protests to the contrary. For a moment Remus was inside undetected. And then silence fell.

"Remus!" They each exclaimed, running over to him.

"How was your trip?" James asked eagerly. "Pomfrey said you'd gone home. Was there an emergency?"

"Are you feeling any better, Remus?" Peter thoughtfully inquired.

"Why didn't you tell us you were leaving?" Sirius asked, sounding a bit put out. Remus wasn't sure how to respond to so many questions at once. He hadn't expected this level of inquiry.

"I- I – yes, I'm feeling better. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It was fine." He was trying to keep track of all of their questions. He could feel himself shaking with fear. With a flick of his wand, James turned on the lamps on Remus' and Sirius' bedside tables.

"Cor Blimey, Remus!" Sirius gasped. In the fresh lighting, his many bruises were clearly visible. They were small, for the matron had been able to heal all of his large wounds and broken bones, but bruises would take a few days to heal. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Are you okay?" Peter said, sounding scared himself.

"Who did this to you?" James exclaimed, gesturing at him with open palms. Remus wanted to shrink into his bed covers and close the bed curtains. Remus shook his head at them pleadingly.

"I-I'm fine. Please just let it go" he stuttered.

"Let it go?" Sirius exclaimed. "I most certainly will not. Tell me who did that to you." Remus could only stand there trembling. He hung his head. "Tell me!" Sirius bellowed, his hands clenched in fists.

"Sirius!" James cried, stepping between him and Remus. "You're scaring him." Remus could feel his cheeks flushing. He stole a glance up at the taller boys. Sirius had taken several steps backward and seemed to be working to calm himself. Then James turned to him, taking his shoulders gently; he had no way of knowing that even their light touch was painful. James spoke to him very softly, as if speaking to a young child.

"Remus, please tell us what happened. I promise we'll make sure that it never happens again."

 _That isn't possible…not unless you kill me. Which, in fact, you may want to do if I told you the truth._

"P-please. J-just let it go. I don't want to t-talk about it." Remus couldn't help himself; the tears that had welled in his eyes came streaming down his face. _What am I going to do? They want to know and it's only been one moon. I'll never make it. They'll find out. They'll drive me out of school. I'll never make it._

"Don't cry!" James said, sounding suddenly beyond his comfort zone. "You don't have to talk about it. We'll stop asking. Please don't cry." Remus did his best to stop, though he couldn't quite. He wiped his eyes.

"S-sorry" he murmured.

"There's nothing to be sorry for" James lulled. "Shh, Remus. It's alright now. You're safe. Let's get you to bed."

James was being so kind to him, Peter looked so concerned to know if he was alright, and Sirius was so quick to jump to his defense. Remus couldn't help but wonder how he would feel when these friendships were gone. For when the others found out his secret – when they found out what he was – there was no way that any one of them would let him remain in a dorm with them. As kind and as brave as they were, he couldn't imagine anyone putting up with sharing a room with a werewolf. The very word disgusted even him.

James had led him over to his bed, sat him down, and was now taking a set of Remus' night clothes out of his trunk and placing them beside Remus.

"What do you need?" He asked in the same voice that sounded as if he were talking to a small crying child. "What can we do?"

"I – I just want to go to bed" Remus mumbled.

"Okay" James said, patting him on the shoulder. "Okay."

James and Peter left his side and Remus was able to slowly and painfully switch into his nightclothes. He faced the wall as he did so, unable to bring himself to see if they were watching him. He knew he was covered in bruises. Then he closed his bed curtains and lay down. His head was still dizzy and so he quickly drifted into a very uneasy sleep. When Remus awoke, he was immediately aware that it was not yet morning. The room was very dark, but he could hear hushed whispers coming from near James' bed. He held his breath in order to hear.

"I don't understand why whoever it was didn't use a wand. I mean, if you were going to attack someone wouldn't you use a hex? I mean, why do it like…like that…?" James was asking.

"Maybe they were really angry" Sirius whispered.

"It had to have been earlier today, wouldn't you say? Right when he got back from home? Unless it was the reason he went home in the first place. Though it is unlikely that he could have been attacked in the hospital wing. Must have been a Slytherin."

"Hey," Sirius said a little more loudly than before, "just because someone did a thing like that doesn't mean that it had to be a Slytherin."

"Please. Of course it was."

"I mean it, Potter." Remus could tell that Sirius had taken offense to James' quick judgement. "Besides, I don't care what means of attack they used, I only care that they did. And they should pay. How could someone do that to Remus? He's so quiet, and shy, and -."

"And scared of his own shadow" James finished. Remus felt so ashamed.

"It isn't right. Why would someone target him? You know he never does anything to anybody."

"Must have been some coward who wanted to take his anger out on a timid firstie."

"We have to get them back. I won't allow this to just be ignored. It isn't right. He has to tell us."

"Sirius, calm down. We will get them back for hurting Remus. But you can't force him to tell you who it was. I think you really scared him earlier."

"I – you know I didn't mean to. I wasn't angry at him. I was angry at whoever did that to him."

"I don't think he can tell the difference" James whispered.

"You're probably right" Sirius sighed.

"Pfft. I'm always right."

"Thou art so humble, Potter."

"It's a gift… and a burden." James drawled out his words as if he were giving a speech to a group of loyal subjects. After that, the conversation turned away from Remus. Remus struggled to stay awake in case their words veered back to him, but he was out within minutes.

* * *

 **(Sirius Black)**

Sirius awoke the next morning earlier than usual. There were a few hours before breakfast and classes. He lay within his bed curtains for a few moments, enjoying the peacefulness of the dormitory and listening to see if the others were still asleep. He heard, to his surprise, the door to their room open and then close again softly. Intrigued, he drew open the curtains of the bed and gazed about the room.

Both James' and Peter's curtains were still closed. Remus', however, were open on the right side, revealing an empty bed. Determined to figure out what had happened to Remus the day before, Sirius got out of bed and exited the room. At the balcony overlooking the common room, he could see that it was empty save for the small boy. He was curled up on the couch in front of the fire, his head resting on one of the tall plush maroon arms of the sofa. He decided to approach slowly, lest he startle his friend. Remus was the most quiet and harmless person he had ever met; the thought of someone hurting him made his stomach churn with fury.

 _I'm going to find out who did this. I'm going to watch Remus like a hawk. This will never happen again._ Sirius crept noiselessly behind the couch and then sat down beside the unsuspecting boy.

At the sinking of the couch cushions, Remus seemed to detect that he wasn't alone. He whipped his head up and turned to look at Sirius, wiping his wet eyes with the back of his wrist as he did so. _He's been crying. And he's shivering._ Without hesitation, Sirius reached for one of the red common room blankets that was on the chair behind him. He unfolded it and laid it over Remus. The involuntary reaction of relief showed on Remus' face. _He still looks ill._ Remus was just looking at him in silence, looking wary.

"You're up early" Sirius said as non-threateningly and gently as he could. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. Th-thanks" Remus muttered, staring down into the fire instead of at him.

 _Could have fooled me._

"I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean to scare you." Remus gave him a weak smile.

"Don't worry about it." Sirius paused for a minute, trying to figure out the best way to say what he wanted.

"Look…I've been trying to watch it around you. But, I can't really help it sometimes. It comes natural." Remus looked puzzled. Sirius sighed and tried again. "My yelling, I mean. But it's not like your parents; I- I won't… I mean it won't escalate…I wouldn't do that." He struggled to get the words out, but Remus now looked even more confused. His head was slightly cocked to one side.

"My parents?" he asked.

"Yeah. When I yell, it's not like parents yelling…"

"They don't" Remus said quietly. Now Sirius was sure that he had been misunderstood.

"I mean," he said, struggling now to keep his frustration out of his tone, "You don't have to worry about me yelling. I- I'm not gonna … I'm not like that." He didn't know how to say it any clearer. He wouldn't ever hurt Remus for not doing what he wanted just because he was bigger, and older, and he could.

"Sirius" Remus said, still looking perplexed, but sounding as if he was trying to reason it out. "I don't compare your yelling to my parents, if that's what you're trying to say." Sirius nodded as a relieved grin spread across his face. "My parents don't shout."

 _What? Has this kid got all his marbles?_

"Come again?" he asked in disbelief, quite sure that Lupin had been hit a little too hard in the head by his mystery attacker.

"My parents don't shout."

"What do you mean?"

"I-it's a small house. I can hear them perfectly fine without them needing to yell. And –" But Sirius had cut him off with a hearty laugh.

"Oh, clever" he said through his laughter. _He's joking. Yes, of course, it has to be a joke._ "You had me going. I almost bought it." Remus didn't speak again until Sirius finally managed to quiet himself.

"I don't know what's so funny" Remus said cautiously. Sirius sighed, wondering why Remus didn't understand why he was laughing at the joke he'd made. _Is he really that unconfident?_

"I was laughing at your joke." Sirius knew he sounded a bit condescending, but he couldn't help it. "You said your parents never shouted because your house is small, as if that would stop someone from shouting when you do something wrong."

"They don't" Remus said shrugging. "It wasn't a joke. They just don't. Is that – weird?" Sirius looked positively alarmed.

"Bloody hell! So they don't give you any warning at all before they…" But he trailed off, realizing suddenly. _He must be like Regulus. Of course he is. He's always so quiet and well-behaved. Why didn't I see it?_ He did his best to regain a relaxed composure as quickly as possible, a skill he had mastered quite successfully at a very young age. He was suddenly uncomfortable. It was clear that Remus hadn't understood, and now he knew why. Sirius felt a surge of embarrassment for thinking that Remus would be like him – that Remus would understand. He feared that he had given away too much now, and he wished that he could retract the conversation.

"Before they what?" Remus asked. How to respond, Sirius wondered. How to respond like it was nothing, like it was fine? He forced a grin that he hoped was convincing and ran a hand through his hair.

"The point is," he said very firmly, so as to be sure that the other boy wouldn't press the matter, "I'm sorry that I yelled at you, and I didn't mean anything by it. Understand?"

"Yes." He could sense the boy growing distant again, sinking back into himself. He knew that he had taken a step back in building Remus' confidence by refusing to answer his question, but it had had to be done. He pushed the twinge of guilt from his mind and gave a quick glance around the common room. It was still early; James wouldn't be up for at least another hour, despite his early-riser habits. So long as Remus was going to be intimidated by him anyway, he might as well make some good of it.

"Now, Remus," he said very low but firm, trying to balance just the right amount of concern with intimidation to get what he wanted, "you are going to tell me who hurt you."

* * *

 **(Remus Lupin)**

Remus felt himself go rigid at the older boy's statement. Sirius sat only two feet from him on the couch, his grey eyes staring intensely at him as if the answer was about to appear in writing across his chest. He knew he couldn't tell him the truth, even if he was his friend – his rather daunting friend. He had to be brave. He had to stand up to him or it would never stop.

 _I was put in Gryffindor. I am brave. I can tell him to stop._

Mustering all of the courage he could, he tried to think of the Sirius who had brought him to the hospital wing when he noticed he looked ill, and who had kindly offered to stay with him because he was shy, instead of this Sirius who looked as if he would like to get the answer out of him by whatever means necessary.

"No" Remus said firmly. For a moment Sirius looked absolutely shocked at Remus' refusal, and then he looked livid, but that changed quickly too, and to Remus' astonishment, the other boy's face broke into a broad smile.

"No?" Sirius asked, still smiling. "I'll be damned. I didn't think you had it in you." Remus didn't know how to respond. Sirius' almost pleased reaction was not at all what he had been expecting. They sat in silence for a few minutes, just staring at the fire. "So you really aren't going to tell me?" Sirius asked.

"I don't want to talk about it. It's not a big deal. Please, Sirius. Just leave it alone." Sirius gave a huge frustrated sigh.

"Fine. I won't ask you to talk about it, but don't think I'm not going to be watching to figure out for myself who it could have been."

Remus felt a surge of guilt; his friend wanted so badly to stick up for him. _And all I'm doing is sounding ungrateful and lying to him_. _To all of them._

Nevertheless, Sirius stayed true to his word, and did not ask him about it again. In fact, each of his friends seemed to – although reluctantly – accept his wishes and let the matter drop. James tried again later that day to get Remus to tell him, and as hard as it had been, Remus managed to divert his efforts.

Two days later, Remus was glad that the others, even Sirius, had let the matter drop in regard to his "mystery attacker" as they put it. By now he was entirely healed and no longer felt weak. Remus couldn't help but notice however that whenever anybody came too near to Remus in the corridor, or even looked in his direction for what James and Sirius considered to be 'suspiciously too long', the two would glower at them threateningly and shout unwarranted comments, such as 'what is your glitch?!' and 'you'd better watch yourself!'. Remus was grateful for their concern, but he feared it was beginning to make other people fear to speak to him.

* * *

 **(James Potter)**

James awoke to the feeling of something pointy pressing into his arm. As soon as lucidity set in, he realized what had woken him. He rolled over onto his back and let out a groan. It was the third day that week that he'd fallen asleep with his glasses on.

 _Of course they had to slip off and I had to roll on top of them._ It wasn't anything new; he usually fell asleep while trying to cling to his last remaining energy. With a sigh, he decided to assess the damage. He could practically hear his mother's voice in his head with her usual goodnight check-list: "Did you brush your teeth? Please don't go to bed without picking up your broomstick from the floor in the hallway; I've asked you three times. Don't forget to take off your glasses."

 _People without glasses have it so easy._ He'd always thought it was crazy that he should have to remember to hinder his eyesight in order to go to sleep. He could barely make out a tree from a person without them on. It wasn't a normal thing to have to remember to do, at least in his opinion.

They were snapped in half at the bridge, as well as on one of the sides. _Just brilliant_ , he thought. He felt around for his wand on the night table beside him. _Where is it?_ Two minutes passed as he felt around blindly. He'd left it on the night table, hadn't he? He opened the drawer and squinted to try and see the contents. It was a mess of parchment, spare quills, and letters from his parents. Stubbornly refusing to let his new friends know that he'd broken his glasses for about the tenth time since school had started – he didn't want them to think he was forgetful, after all – he stood and made his way slowly to the door. _Good thing I wake up before them._ He located the handle after a brief search, and exited the room as quietly as he could.

Frank's room was just a few steps down the staircase. He felt his way along the curved stone wall until he felt the wooden door. He knocked softly, hoping that he wasn't waking any of them up. James hadn't thought to figure out what time it actually was before leaving the dormitory. They must have been up, he noted with relief, because the door opened pretty quickly.

 _Oh!_ James realized instantly as he saw Frank's roommates in their Quidditch gear. _Quidditch practice. Of course they're up early._ It was one of the Prewett twins that had opened the door.

"Hey, Potter" he said brightly. "If you're here to see if you can practice with us, you'll have to take it up with Sarah." Sarah Wood, a seventh year, was the captain. That thought hadn't even occurred to James, but it instantly brightened his spirits.

"You think she'd let me?" he asked with unmasked longing. Gideon, or it could have been Fabian, laughed.

"Come on in, mate."

"James?" Frank asked in that urgent worried tone he took on whenever he thought something could be wrong. Frank was still in his flannel pajamas in bed since he wasn't on the team. Though, his bed curtains were open; he'd clearly been up and talking with his dorm mates.

"Hey, Frank." James grinned, letting him know that nothing was wrong, and then walked over to his bed. His knees knocked the bed as he misjudged the distance due to his impaired vision. "Ugh" he said, sitting down on the end of Frank's bed. Thomas, Tarquin, and Aerie chuckled.

"You've got to have depth perception if you're going to be a chaser on our team" Thomas teased.

"Ha Ha" James replied good-naturedly. "You just wait. I'm going to save you. You haven't won the cup in three years."

"Well I've only been on the team this year" Thomas reminded him. "Same with Tarquin."

"You just wait 'til you see us in our first match, Potter" Tarquin, who played chaser, said with a friendly smirk. "This is our year."

"I hope it is, mate, for Gryffindor's sake. Can I practice with you?" James tried to anticipate their answer. Both the twins seemed game, but Tarquin and Thomas were exchanging a look. James could tell already that he wasn't fond of that look. "I can keep up" he promised them. _Just let me practice with you once; you'll see. I'm really good. Please._

"It's up to Sarah" Thomas said with a shrug. "You'll have to ask her."

It wasn't a 'no'. James beamed at them, bouncing a little with excitement.

"Brilliant" James laughed gleefully.

"If she says 'yes', you should borrow Frank's broom" one of the twins told him, smirking. "It's a permanent fixture in the corner there." Frank and his roommates laughed.

"I don't have time for flying" Frank defended through his laughter.

"No such thing, mate" James told him. Frank rolled his eyes.

"You'd live on a broomstick if they let you. Are those your glasses broken in your hand, I take it?"

 _Oh yeah!_ In all of his excitement about Quidditch, James had nearly forgotten why he'd come there in the first place. He shot Frank an insincerely guilty face and held them out to him.

"Can you fix them? I couldn't find my wand without them." Frank took the glasses, reached for his own wand, and muttered:

"Repairo."

"Thanks, Frank!" James said putting his glasses back on. _So much better._ He could actually see again.

"You just remember how many times I've fixed these for you when Christmas time comes" Frank teased, grinning. James laughed and made a silly face at his friend.

"I will, and I'll tell my mum too" James threw his arms in the air energetically, causing the whole bed to shake. "You'll have mountains of gifts from the Potter's."

Frank shook his head at him, still grinning. A lot of times James felt like maybe he was much too immature for Frank, but he was grateful that Frank never told him so.

"How's your friend Lupin?" Frank asked more quietly. The rest of the room had gone back to getting ready. James frowned. He'd been wondering that himself for the past couple of days. Remus seemed fine, but he still hadn't told them what had happened. Remus had been so easily upset when he'd arrived back, and he'd looked like he'd been attacked.

"I dunno. Fine, I guess…. He won't tell us what happened to him." This was clearly not what Frank had hoped to hear, as was evidenced by his expression.

"Did you try asking him alone?"

"Yeah. He won't say. And then, after I tried for like ten minutes and gave up, Peter came in and just asked him if he wanted to go to the matron for a tonic, and Remus just started crying again." James felt guilty just thinking about it. "…So we let it go. He doesn't want to talk about it."

"…Okay" Frank replied, sounding reluctant. "I just feel bad."

"Yeah…" James commented, trailing off. He didn't have much more he could say on the matter; he'd already exhausted the topic with Sirius and Peter.

"Time to head out!" Tarquin called to the room. "Potter, if you're going to come, you'd better change out of your pajamas."

 _Oh yeah!_ He hadn't thought about that. James leapt off of Frank's bed, alight with happiness once more.

"Just give me two minutes!" he pleaded. "I'll be right back. Just two minutes!" They chuckled at his eagerness.

"Alright" one of the twins said kindly. "Go on. We'll wait for you." James couldn't keep the smile off his face as he bolted from their dormitory.


	9. Chapter 8: Blood-traitor

**_Warning:_** Mentioning of an attack; a slap

 ** _Author's Notes:_**

The "this is mahogany" joke regarding James' wand is not mine, as most people probably know. I saw it on Pinterest a while ago; I don't know who came up with it, but credit goes to them for the joke.

I made Molly and Arthur seventh years even though they were actually a few years post-graduation.

 _ **Thank you so much to everyone who left a review! I really appreciate it! :-)**_

 **.**

 **.**

* * *

 **(James Potter)**

It was a few weeks into October, and James was growing a bit tired of having a heavy workload. He missed his broomstick, and flying; Sarah Wood had allowed him to practice with the team a few times, but lately she'd told him that the team needed their full practice time without sharing the quaffle with a non-team member. What was worse was that Tarquin had somehow flown his broom too close to the new whomping willow on the grounds, and he needed to use Frank's broom for all of the practices now – meaning that James couldn't continuously borrow it.

He longed to try out the new broomstick – the latest model – that was waiting for him at home. Per his request, his mother had sent him a photograph of it with his last care package. He had stared at it during all of his classes; the broom was sleek, shiny and new. The handle was slightly larger than his last model, and the wood had a darker finish. The straws at the end were immaculate, the very picture of aerodynamic. James felt as if it was taunting him.

James gave a loud groan of frustration. Across from him, Sirius didn't bother to look up from the monthly issue of the Quidditch magazine James' parents had sent. His friend knew already what James' outburst was about. Peter on the other hand, played into it as always.

"What's wrong James?" James wasn't sure if Peter was just extra thoughtful, or if he simply didn't mind having the same conversation three times in one day. He groaned and replied nonetheless.

"First years not being allowed brooms is the worst rule to ever exist. I think I'm going to shrink mine and smuggle it in after Christmas break."

"Won't your parents notice that it's missing?" Peter asked.

"Most likely, but they wouldn't rat me out." Sirius gave a derisive chuckle, still not looking up. "Shut up, Black. My parents believe I can do no wrong. Foolish of them really, but I love them for it." He saw Sirius roll his eyes as he flipped to the next page of the magazine.

 _If you're going to be so contemptuous, then I'll take that back._ Yet, James didn't mean it; he was used to Sirius' jeering reaction whenever he spoke fondly of his parents.

Frank came strolling over and sat down on the bench on James' right side. James managed to grab his wand off of the bench just in time. He set it down on the table between them.

"Morning" Frank said through a yawn. "You shouldn't leave that lying on the bench, James. I almost sat on it."

"Maybe you should be more careful where you place your bottom, Longbottom" James retorted. It wasn't the first time he'd teased his friend about his name; it wasn't the second, third, fourth, or fifth time either. In fact, he'd lost count over the years, for his parents had been good friends with Frank's parents since before either of them were born. Frank, who was evidently much more mature than James, ignored his comment and began pouring himself some cold pumpkin juice.

There was a sudden rushing behind them and then:

"Oh, sorry, Frank!" Arthur Weasley, a tall lanky red-headed seventh year with freckles called back as he accidentally knocked into Frank as he passed by the table. The juice spilled onto the table, creating a small puddle, in the center of which was James' wand. James yanked it from the table and clutched it dramatically to his chest with both hands.

"Unacceptable, Arthur!" James called after him, jokingly, " **This - is - mahogany**!" Around him, Frank, Remus, Peter, and Sirius laughed. Arthur looked back with a boyish grin and shrugged.

"What's so funny?" Anne Pinxes asked as her and Carina sat down beside Sirius.

"Morning, ladies" Sirius said cordially with a half glance in their direction.

"James is just being his usual self" Frank said, "Is Alice on her way down yet?"

"Aww, you admit that I'm usually hilarious?" James teased, throwing an arm around Frank's shoulders. "Isn't he so flattering?" Anne gave a small laugh.

"Alice is in the common room working on her Potions essay. She fell asleep last night before she could finish it. I think Eileen is bringing a bit of breakfast to your first class for her." Frank looked slightly crestfallen. James returned to consuming his breakfast.

 _Sirius, are you done with my magazine yet?_ He looked up to check if his friend was still absorbed in the magazine, and saw that he was not. Well… he was pretending to be at least. He and Carina, who sat beside him, where taking turns giving one another the slightest nudge with their respective elbows. Sirius had his eyes fixed on the magazine, pretending to read and not be entertained by his action with Carina. Carina on the other hand, was now thoroughly engaged in a conversation with a fourth year girl who sat on the other side of Frank; yet, she was still taking her turns to elbow Sirius' arm. Which of them had started the ridiculous repetition, James could only guess.

Sirius and Carina had taken to one another almost at once after arriving at Hogwarts. Carina sat behind them with Anne in most of their classes. She was very similar to Sirius with her elegant self-assured mannerisms, at least in James' opinion, and she was very pretty. She came from a wealthy pureblooded family, so she had been tutored growing up, just like Sirius had been. She was extremely confident and witty, yet, like Sirius, a bit cynical about the world.

"Oi, Sirius Black. I'd like my magazine back now, if you please" James said loudly, hoping to put a stop to their annoying little back and forth nonsense that was keeping him from reading his Quidditch statistics. Sirius looked up at him and handed it back lazily.

"No need to be so aggressive about it" he said. "You know, I think I might actually hit the library this afternoon."

"Really?" Remus asked; he sounded almost hopeful. James had not seen Sirius had set foot in the library since their arrival at school. There were times when Sirius did go off on his own, however. At first, James had suspected that Sirius was heading to the library during those times, yet he never seemed to have his work done in time for class, so James decided that the library theory was unlikely. Sirius smirked.

"No, I was kidding, of course. But shit, Remus, you sounded so excited now you've made me feel bad."

Just then, Anne and Carina rose from their seats and stepped out from behind the bench.

"Where are you off to?" Sirius asked casually. Carina grinned down at him.

"What's it to you?" Carina asked with the same mock innocence that Sirius used when he tried to get out of detention. He shrugged. "Well then, see you in class." They walked off towards the massive entryway to the entrance hall, Anne giggling as they did so.

"Bit of a short breakfast, don't you think?" Sirius muttered.

"Who cares?" James retorted. Sirius shrugged again.

"She's alright to be around. For a girl." James made a face of mock disgust. _Cat prank or not, girls are girls._ They finished up lunch and then the four of them – James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter - made their way down the corridors to their first lesson of the day: Transfiguration.

"You little traitorous brat!"

The high-pitched female voice was now echoing in the corridors behind them as they walked down the corridor. Sirius spun around and whipped out his wand. His elder cousin – _what was this one's name again_ –, was making her way towards them.

"You put that away this instant before I curse you into oblivion you monstrous little troll!" Sirius didn't move.

"Having a bad morning, Bella?" Sirius asked, adopting his usual tone of bored condescension that he used when speaking to any Slytherins, particularly those which he was related to. Still, James thought he could pick up the slightest bit of amusement in Sirius' grey eyes.

"Don't you take that attitude with me, you vile pathetic wretch! I **know** it was you." She was now less than a foot in front of Sirius, who stood a mere foot in front of the rest of them, his wand still held up in precaution.

 _What the hell is she on about?_ Sirius had said that she was by far his least favorite out of his cousins, and that was saying something.

"I'm quite sure that I don't know what you're referring to Bella. Perhaps if you used your less hateful adjectives, I know your vocabulary's limited on that end, but perhaps if you just tried, then I would be able to see what you're getting at."

To James' astonishment, and without warning the tall bony fifth year girl slapped Sirius very hard in the face. He barely moved, almost as if he'd been expecting that to be her reaction. Without any more than shock's hesitation, James stepped forward up beside Sirius.

"Hey! You can't do that!" James yelled forcefully up at her. He wanted nothing more than to hex her for what she'd just done, but Sirius reached an arm out to the side and crossed it in front of James, silently telling him to back up and leave her to him. Bellatrix didn't take her glaring dark eyes off of Sirius.

"You think you're little pranks are funny, but you're going to pay for this one, cousin. Mark my words, you are going to be very sorry" she said threateningly.

"I'm still not sure what you're referring to, **cousin**." With one last threatening glower, Bellatrix Black spun on her heel and stalked off without another word.

"Damn, she's vile" James exclaimed as Sirius turned back around to face him, his left cheek still red. _Maybe he doesn't spend time with them after all… at least not with her. But if he's not with his cousins or doing homework when he leaves, where else would he be?_ "Are you alright? What was that nutter on about?" Sirius smirked devilishly.

"Oh I'm fine. Besides, making her that angry was more than worth it."

"You really did do something to her?" Remus asked. Sirius gave a laugh and a shrug.

"Nothing she didn't deserve. That malicious little hag wouldn't leave me alone. She kept stopping me in the corridors whenever I was alone and …well, being herself. And believe me when I say that what you just saw was her being civil. She still hasn't forgiven me for not being in Slytherin. Thinks I did it just to spite her. …Of course, they all think I did it to spite them."

"Did you?" Peter asked incredulously.

"I wish" Sirius replied. "Anyway, this morning I sent her an anonymous letter that had exploding goo balls in it. When she broke the seal, they were supposed to explode and get all over her face. I assume, from her reaction, that it worked."

The rest of the day, Sirius was in a delighted mood. He was very pleased with himself. At dinner, Sirius gave a huge yawn and left early to go read more of his motors book.

"I swear, if he doesn't stop, he's going to turn into a muggle" James said. "He can sit there and talk to you all day about carburetors and four rod engines, but when I ask him about the Quidditch scores he read just this morning, it's like I'm speaking gibberish."

"I'm surprised that you even know what carburetors and four rod engines are, James" Peter said.

"Oh please, I only know about those gadgets because he won't sodding shut up about them." James ran a hand over his own face in exasperation. "Just this morning, for example: does he let me in on his goo ball prank? No. Instead, while I'm half-asleep trying to brush my teeth, he's shoving his own drawing of something or other, that he traced from his book so he could show me, under my nose. Some crazy muggle contraption that I kindly let him spend ten whole minutes, which I'll never be able to get back mind you, ranting about and trying to explain."

"I think he's just really excited about all that stuff" Remus said softly.

"Yeah, yeah, I know" James groaned guiltily.

 _Now I feel like a prat. He was just really excited after all. Probably how I am about Quidditch nonstop._

After another half hour or so of dinner, they headed back up to the dormitory.

"Where's Sirius?" Peter asked as they entered. "Didn't he say he was coming back up here?"

 _Probably another one of his mystery disappearances. I wonder where he goes._ James shrugged. After a few hours, and a very hilarious game of gobstones, James was beginning to feel a little uneasy. He looked over at Remus, who was wearing a similar expression to how he felt. Remus' facial expressions always revealed exactly what he was feeling.

"Remus, where d'you reckon he is?" James asked, only a little nervous.

"I'm not sure" he said quietly.

"It sure would be convenient if there was a way to locate people on a map of this place" Peter mused.

"Mmm," James said distractedly. "I wonder if his book is here." He rose to his feet and went over to Sirius' trunk and lifted it. James dug around for a minute and then saw what he was looking for: the large worn out textbook, which was not realty a textbook at all, was lying in his trunk. "I don't think he came back up here at all."

"I've got to get… a book from the library" Remus began. "I can look around for him on my way."

"Alright, mate" James said. "But if you get back and you haven't found him, I think we should all go looking. He's never gone for this long, especially without saying where he's going."

 _He's probably just with his cousins. He says he dislikes them, but where else would he always be heading off to so secretly?_

It worried James that Sirius spent so much time likely in the company of such prejudiced people. He was quite certain that Sirius wasn't actually prejudiced at all, and that he was simply ignorant… _but then he goes and spends time with them…_ It bothered James more than he wanted to admit. On one hand, what should he care is his dorm-mate spent time with his own family? But, on the other hand, when his family was evil and cruel, it said something about Sirius that James didn't want to admit. He knew he couldn't be friends with someone who thought that way, and yet Sirius seemed like such a wonderful fun new friend most of the time. Was it possible that he was being two-faced? Why else would he be so secretive? Did he sneak off and discuss a loathing of muggleborns with his cousins when he didn't tell them where he was going? If that was the case, James knew he'd have to end their budding friendship, even if he didn't want to.

He'd tried to ignore it; after all, he did have to share a bedroom with Sirius for the next seven years. It was easy some days to forget, and ignore, and to just have fun. But, for nearly every easy day there was a hard day – a day when Sirius would either say something bigoted or just too condescending, or he would leave with some vague excuse for where he was going. He kept trying to think of places Sirius could be going, but to spend time with his family seemed to be the most logical to James. It made sense to want to see one's family. It also made sense to be ambiguous about it, since Sirius was well-aware of what James thought of his family and of Slytherin. James wasn't sure he was ready to have it confirmed that Sirius was with his cousins, because James wasn't ready to completely condemn their friendship.

 _Please just be in the library._

* * *

 **(Remus Lupin)**

As he heaved open the great front door, Remus noticed that the rain was coming down much harder than he had initially thought. There was no way that he was going to be able to make it to the house and back without explaining to the others that he had gone outside in such weather. He'd left a cloak inside the cupboard on the last full moon, and unfortunately it had his half-written Herbology assignment folded up in one of its pockets. Sighing, he took the first steps out towards the Hogwarts grounds, letting the heavy door close slowly behind him. _Better start thinking up excuses now. There's no way that James and Sirius are going to believe that I wanted a stroll in this._ He was down the front steps now, taking a rather sharp right in order to make the straightest path to the willow that he could. His thoughts were focused on whether or not he should run to the tree when he nearly toppled over forward. He had staggered into a large figure in the grass. For a quick instant his heart stopped.

"Ouch" the dark figure gasped loudly. _It's- it's a person._ He calmed himself and looked down to examine what… _no, who_ … he had walked into. He could tell instantly that it was a boy who couldn't be much older than himself. He had his knees pulled in tight to his chest and his head facing down and away, and long dark hair that was sopping wet hanging down around his face. The lighting was so poor. "You mind?!" the boy said angrily.

 _I know that voice._

"Sirius!" Remus shouted a little louder than he had meant to in his excitement at figuring out the identity of the mystery boy.

"Remus?" he asked, his tone now weary. He still didn't turn to look at him.

"Sirius, we've been wondering where you went off to for hours. What in the world are you doing out here?"

"I fancied myself a picnic." Sirius' particular brand of bitter humor was back. "I'll be in later. Just go about whatever it was you were doing and leave me be."

"Leave you be? Sirius, you look like you went for a swim in the lake! How long have you been out here?"

"Dunno." There was something in Sirius' voice that made him feel uneasy. Remus crouched down beside him. "Bloody hell, Remus. Just leave me be, will you?" But he didn't sound angry. He seemed as if he didn't have it left in him to be angry. Sitting beside him now Remus suddenly realized that his friend was shivering.

"Sirius…is- is this about this morning? Your cousin?"

"No" Sirius said, no trace of resistance in his voice left now. His ever-present defenses seemed to be down, and he sounded positively miserable. "I can handle her yelling." There was a full minute of silence - well, with the exception of Sirius' occasional sniffs.

"What is it then?" Again, a long pause before Sirius decided to answer.

"You have to swear that you won't tell James…or, or anyone. Swear."

"I swear. I won't tell anyone." Then, Sirius began his tale.

"A-after dinner…you know how I left early to go read my mechanics book. Well, Lucius Malfoy was waiting in the entry hall. S-said that Narcissa was hurt. Said she was being stubborn and refused to go the hospital wing. He-he said she was asking for a family member. A Black. And he said he couldn't find Bella." Sirius paused for a long time. He seemed so upset that Remus cautiously reached his right arm out and put it around the shoulders of the shivering boy. Sirius recoiled at the touch, but he didn't shove him away. "S-so I went with him. Against all my better judgment, I went with him. **Into their common room**. I was so daft. Obviously. I'm the daft, impudent, good-for-nothing blood-traitor." As Sirius continued with the insults he seemed to be getting more and more upset.

"Sirius!" Remus yelled in horror. "Don't! Don't say things like that about yourself!"

"Why not?!" Sirius shouted through the heavy rain and his sobs. "Everybody else does." Remus didn't know what to say. He was in shock, not only by Sirius' colorful and vulgar insults, but also by the fact that it seemed learned, as if the words were already drilled into his memory.

"They're not true. They're not true, Sirius. You-you're not…" Remus muttered as he wrapped his other arm around his friend, giving him a long rather strangely positioned hug. After a few minutes, Sirius had regained his composure and stiffened his shoulders.

"D-Don't tell" he pleaded.

"I won't tell anybody. I promise" Remus assured him. He could make out a nod from Sirius, who still hadn't looked at him. They sat like that, with Sirius curled into a tight shivering ball, and Remus kneeling beside him with his arms wrapped around Sirius' shoulders. They were both completely drenched from the rain. Then Sirius started up recounting the events of that evening from where he'd left off.

"So I went in. I believed him. I-I know how stubborn she can b-be. There was a whole bunch of them waiting inside. I know them all. Kids of my p-parents' friends and a couple of my second cousins" he said wretchedly. "And, of course, there were Narcissa and Bellatrix, lounging out on the couch, perfectly fine, and beyond happy with themselves." There was a particularly long silence once more until finally Remus asked.

"What happened?"

"They all thought it was hilariously clever…" He shook his head, still facing the grass. "P-Pomfrey was able to mend me up one-once they let me go. B-but…" Remus could feel himself beginning to tremble now as well; more out of fear for what had happened to his friend than due to the harsh weather. Slowly, very hesitantly, Sirius finally looked over at him. At first glance, Remus didn't notice anything unusual about the gesture. But then he saw a shining bright red glint above Sirius' left eye. Looking up to see what could have made the image, and seeing its cause, he let out a very sudden loud gasp. Unfortunately, this reaction only made Sirius' expression look even more tormented. Recovering himself as quickly as he could, and trying to speak as delicately as he could by choosing his next words carefully, Remus stammered,

"I-It will come off though. W-won't it?"

"Pomfrey tried. She even called McGonagall down to attempt it too. They said- they said I'll just have to wait until the spell wears off." Remus gave a – much less audible this time - sigh of relief.

"Thank Merlin. At least it will come off" Remus tried to comfort him, but Sirius glared at him, and Remus could feel the hot sting of resentment from Sirius as if Remus had been attempting to belittle his miserable situation. "I-I mean it's dreadful. But, at least it's not permanent."

"How am I to go to classes?!" Sirius shouted, more at the wind than at Remus. "How am I to sit in the Great Hall?! How-", his voice was breaking "how am I to even show my face outside the dormitory?"

"Oh Sirius" Remus tried to sound soothing. "We'll, uh, find you a long hat or something. We will figure it out. I'm sure James will be able to think of a great idea. It will be okay." But at that, a new wave of emotion swept over Sirius and he burst into tears, quickly turning his face away from Remus.

"James is never going to understand this. He h-hates my family. He'll help me get back at them, sure, but… they're my family. I can't ever really get away from them."

 _Trapped._ Remus knew the feeling well. It was the way he felt every full moon. Even on the days in between, he still was constantly aware of his suffering to come. No matter what he did in the meantime, the full moon would come on schedule, and he would be trapped helpless once more, never able to really get away from who he was. _But this can be different._

"You should write to your mother, Sirius! Tell her what they did! I know she's mad about you being in Gryffindor but surely she'd -" Sirius cut him off with one sharp humorless laugh.

"My mother," he said the words with such intense hatred, such that Remus could never dream of anyone ever using when speaking of one's mother, "would send them a fucking gift basket!"

"Sirius…" Remus didn't know what to say. They sat there shivering for another few minutes in silence while Sirius recollected himself. Finally, he turned to Remus once more.

"Why where you out here anyway?" Caught off guard by this question and the fact that Sirius had so clearly and promptly resumed his usual façade, he took a second to think up an excuse.

"I-I just thought the rain would be peaceful." Sirius grimaced.

"Well I suppose I ruined that for you, eh? Listen, Remus. You need to promise me that you aren't going to tell anybody about this. None of it." He sounded quite stern.

"I promise."

"I know some of it is bound to get out. They'll make sure of that. And there's no hiding this." He pointed a finger at the blood-red shimmering letters that were spelled across his forehead. "But no one else need know I was out here…like this. You understand?"

"Yes. I promise."

"Thanks. Let's head in. It's getting rather parky out here."

Luckily for Sirius, - which Remus mused may have been his intent all along – the late hour prevented them from running into anybody else in the corridors on the way back to the Gryffindor common room. Once inside the portrait hole, Sirius dashed across it in a few short leaps and sprinted up the stairs to their dormitory. He hadn't even looked to see who else was in the common room: Molly the prefect was studying quietly at the table in the corner. Arthur, a boy with equally flaming red hair, was sitting with her with one of his hands placed sweetly over one of hers as she read. Neither of them seemed to be bothered by Sirius' odd and brief appearance. Remus slowly climbed the stairs to the dormitory and opened the door to loud shouts.

"I'll kill 'em!" James was shouting. "I'll sodding rip their bloody heads off for it, Sirius! How **dare** they?! They're your cousins, for Merlin's sake! Those no good smarmy filthy Slytherins! Did you report them? Don't report them! That way when we get our revenge the teachers won't come aiming at us!"

After a very long and lengthy debate between James and Sirius as to what the best means of revenge would be, the two boys finally seemed to relax – a bit. How much Sirius had told James, Remus couldn't be exactly sure of, but he was quite positive that it had not included anything about him sobbing to Remus on the lawn. Peter had been rather quiet and shocked for the entire ordeal, only muttering the occasional "Good idea, James" or "Poor Sirius" – the latter remark subsequently resulting in a very hateful glare from Sirius. He did not like to be pitied. At long last, for it was nearly dawn, they were each clean and dry and in their respective beds.

"I am going to find a way to let you walk around without people gawking, Sirius" James told him from his own bed across the room. "Mark my words, I'll start on it first thing tomorrow. I've a bit of an inkling already, but it should be a surprise."

"Thanks, mate" Sirius said from his bed; he sounded thoroughly exhausted. Peter and James closed their bed curtains, and Remus could hear their soft breathing that signaled their sleep within minutes. Despite being drained of energy himself, he wanted to make sure that Sirius was alright. Seeing as Remus was the only one who had been there to hear the full story of the night's misery, he felt a responsibility to see to it that Sirius was indeed alright.

 _They attacked him. His own family attacked him. All of those upper years against him. What awful people. No wonder James knew to hate his family._

Sirius, who had been too exhausted to close his bed curtains, was lying sprawled out on his back.

"Sirius?" Remus muttered almost inaudibly, but Sirius turned his head to the left to look over at him.

"Yeah?" Remus tried to think of encouraging words. His parents always used encouraging comforting words when he was nearing or recovering from a full moon night. He thought of their words now, and how they could help Sirius.

"I promise it will be okay. You'll get through this."

"I always do" Sirius muttered, sounding chillingly nonchalant. Remus' heart sank at Sirius' use of the word 'always'. It wasn't long before Remus could hear Sirius' soft sound of sleeping as well. Relieved that his friend had finally found some reprieve, he lifted his wand to put out the fire-lit lamp resting on the stand between his and Sirius' beds. Before uttering the word "nox", he took a last unnerving glance at the sleeping boy. His face looked so peaceful in its dream state, as if all that had happened that evening had not really transpired. But above his handsome features, one word written in thin shimmering red script across his forehead was the chilling proof of the cruelty that Sirius had indeed endured that night: _**Blood-traitor**_.

* * *

 **(Minerva McGonagall)**

Minerva McGonagall sat in her private quarters of the castle unable to fall asleep. Her long light brown hair, which she usually had in a high tight bun beneath her hat, was down and flowing to her shoulders. Her feet rested on a small tufted stool that she'd long ago transfigured from a bale of hay. The novel on her lap had been resting on pages 60 and 61 for the past hour, for she couldn't bring herself to focus on its frivolous contents.

 _How could I have overlooked such blatant bullying?_ She'd been asking herself that all night, for she could not think of an answer that was suitable. _There's no excuse._ She blamed herself for what had happened to her student. It was her responsibility to secure the safety of her pupils while at school. How had she not noticed, or thought to check? _The heir in the wrong house… I should have guessed they would have been angry._

Minerva confessed mentally that she hadn't thought the students would care. It was just a house sorting. She knew that the boy's parents and grandparents cared greatly, for they'd sent the school, the board of governors, and the Ministry letters for his resorting as soon as they'd received the news. Still, she hadn't thought that the children would care, nor that they would ever act in such a way towards their own relative.

She found herself detesting the Slytherins, and had to quickly stop herself. She was a true Gryffindor, and on rare occasion – with just cause such as this – she sometimes found herself reverting to the thoughts she had in her youth. Gryffindors had always tended to naturally clash with Slytherins. Nevertheless, she was a professor at the school, and she had long since put any school day rivalries behind her. Minerva had always prided herself on being an exceedingly fair professor. She wasn't about to go blaming Slytherin House for the actions of a few misguided brats – however cruel those actions were.

With a sigh, Minerva closed her book. _I'm not going to be able to get any reading in tonight._ She only hoped that Black's friends would be able to cheer him up; he'd been so despondent when he'd left the hospital wing. She wished desperately that there had been some way to vanish the words from his forehead, but she knew there was not. Nothing but time would make them fade.

Anger surged within her alongside her sympathy. Minerva detested bigotry. Here he was – heir to one of the most bigoted families in Britain – and by some miracle he had ended up in Gryffindor and revealed, for all intents and purposes, that he was in fact not prejudiced. They had ridiculed and attacked him for his tolerance. The reasoning behind such hateful acts, she would never fully understand. Still…what she had heard happened earlier that night… _nothing like that should have ever happened at a school_. _Family matters or not…_

 **.**

 _Minerva was at her desk two-thirds of the way through grading a stack of pop quizzes from her O.W.L. students, when a familiar hen patronus found its way up to her desk. She was surprised to see it, but it wasn't the first time that the matron had messaged her in such a way. Poppy's familiar voice emanated from it._

 _"_ _Minerva, please come down to the hospital wing. One of your students has been attacked." Poppy didn't sound particularly urgent; it was likely safe to assume that the pupil was alright, but Minerva's heart quickened in alarm nonetheless._

 _At once Minerva's mind raced as she stood quickly from her chair and rushed from the office. Her thoughts flew over her students in turn. Which of them had been attacked? And for what reason? By whom? She could think of no one that was likely to be attacked._

 _She reached the hospital wing in record time. Her eyes quickly fell on the only two in the room, and her first reaction was complete surprise. Even as he sat with his back to her on one of the cots, his robes off revealing a very bruised and slashed torso, Sirius Black was unmistakable. Poppy was kneeling in front of him, casting healing charms as she went._

 _"_ _What happened, dear?" she asked, and Minerva had the distinct impression that this was not the first time she was asking._ Why would Sirius Black be attacked?

 _Minerva made her way around to them and Sirius flinched violently when he saw her, but he kept his head down._

 _"_ _Hello, Minerva" Poppy said, sounding calm. "Mr. Black, would you care to tell her, or should I?" Sirius didn't reply. He kept his head turned down and away from her. After a pause to see that he wasn't going to respond, Poppy looked up at her. "Mr. Black found his way here in a right state. Hexed and jinxed all over, poor thing. Some of the muggle means of fighting as well. He won't tell me exactly what happened. But, one can draw some conclusions from... Mr. Black, go ahead and show her now. It's alright."_

 _Minerva's stomach churned with uneasiness. What more was done to this small boy? She hadn't witnessed him this quiet since his first detention with her, and that was a distant memory compared to how disruptive he always was in class. He and James were always finishing their work first and distracting the other students. It was very concerning to see him so reserved and diffident. When Sirius did not move, Poppy sighed._

 _"_ _Whoever it was spelled-" she hesitated, eyeing Black with sympathy for a moment, "'blood-traitor' across his forehead."_

 _Minerva was instantly furious. So this was a hateful offense. She understood why this boy would be called a blood-traitor, though it wasn't as if he had done anything do be deemed such a hateful term. He had simply been sorted into Gryffindor – a fact that she knew his parents were most aggrieved about. The entire Black family had been sending letters to the school demanding he be moved into Slytherin House since his first day. But for students to harbor such fierce hatred? It had to be his relatives; he had a number of them at the school. There was no one else who would have been so furious over the young heir's sorting; yet, the thought of his own cousins attacking him in such a brutal way... If Minerva had to guess who, she assumed Rodolphus, or perhaps Bellatrix._

 _In an uncharacteristic show of nurturing, Minerva went around Poppy and crouched down in front of the first-year. He didn't look at her. Instead, he actually leaned backward slowly to get farther away from her._

 _"_ _Mr. Black, I need you to tell me exactly what happened, and who did this." She spoke the words gently enough, though her usual sternness remained._

 _The boy shied away from her further. She glanced him over; Poppy had healed his cuts, though large bruises remained littered across his body. Angry purple bruises that greatly resembled hand marks were wrapping around both his wrists, as well as his collarbone. So he had been restrained. There had been more than one attacker. She took a deep breath._

 _"_ _How many of your cousins did this to you?" she asked, going out on a limb but hoping that he would at least confirm or deny her suspicions. The boy instantly tensed. "Look at me, please" she added, knowing she'd get more out of him that way, though she didn't expect him to obey._

 _To her surprise, he slowly turned to look at her with sad but furious grey eyes. She'd noticed his eyes before, the whole Black family had those unique light grey eyes. But she'd never seen them this close before. They were like a storm. Her eyes flickered up to the shimmering red letters spelled across his forehead. It was clear from his demeanor that he was ashamed of them._

 _"_ _Let's get rid of that for you first" Minerva said sympathetically. For a moment the boy looked as if he were about to cry, but his face was calm again in a flash. Minerva raised her wand; it felt strange to be pointing her wand directly at a student's face, and even more strange that Sirius did not even blink. She cast the spell she thought would work best, but there was no change. She cast more, and then looked up at Poppy in question._

 _"_ _I've tried everything I could think of, Minerva. He insisted I did that first before healing him. I was hoping that you would be able to vanish them. They will fade as the spell wears off."_

 _Minerva looked back at Sirius, who was beginning to lose his calm façade. He was gripping the side of the bed in fists, and shaking slightly. Minerva tried over a dozen spells. She was certain that nothing but time would make the letters vanish from his face. Reluctantly, she broke the news._

 _"_ _Mr. Black, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you will have to wait for the spell to wear off. It shouldn't be more than a week. Please –" but her words were cut off as the massive arched window nearest them began to shake very rapidly. In an instant, it shattered and came crashing down in a rain of glass._

 _All three of them had to leap away in surprise. Both women grabbed the young student and made sure that he was out of the way before moving themselves. They knew instantly that he had done it – though unintentionally. All of that emotion had manifested itself in magic, and it had shattered the glass nearest to him. Sirius seemed to know that it was he who had done it as well, and he stood gaping at the now empty space in the wall. Both women looked over at him. He shook his head at them slowly, panic crossing his face as he backed away from them on shaking legs._

 _"_ _I didn't do it on purpose" he said softly. "I'm sorry. Please, don't be angry."_

 _"_ _It's alright, Mr. Black" they replied, almost in unison. He did not look at all convinced. They held up their wands to repair the window together, and Sirius backed up so hurriedly that he toppled over the backboard of one of the empty beds across the room from his own. It didn't deter him much, for he scrambled backward and leapt off the bed, and then backed away until he was pressed up against the wall. Finding he could retreat no further, he sunk to the floor, wrapping his knees up to his chest._

 _Minerva and Poppy exchanged a worried look. His reaction made it fairly obvious that he thought they were going to use magic against him. Minerva's queries from his first detention and his questions about the school's punishment methods were instantly answered._

He thinks we'd use magic against him. Why? _If he didn't trust them, why had he been able to sit there so calmly while she cast numerous spells at his forehead?_ More importantly, what happened that made him think adults would use magic against him? _Lost in her concern, Minerva watched as Poppy rushed to the boy on the ground and kneeled in front of him._

 _"_ _We are not angry" she told him. It was clear from her tone that she had just had the same shocking realization that Minerva had had. Though, perhaps he was just jumpy due to the events that had occurred that night. "It was an accident" Poppy told him in a placating voice. "We'll fix the window and move on. What's important is finding out who attacked you. Now, why don't you tell us what happened so that those responsible for harming you can face the consequences?"_

 _The loud, confident Sirius Black looked so small curled up like that on the floor. He was eyeing Poppy warily. He shook his head 'no' minutely._

 _"_ _Why?" she asked him gently. "Don't you think that they should lose house points and receive detentions and letters home for what they've done?"_

 _Sirius cast his eyes downward and gave a noncommittal shrug._

 _"_ _They most certainly should" Minerva said, approaching them and sitting down on the side of the hospital bed nearest them. She looked down at Sirius Black, who appeared to be debating something in his head. He took a deep breath._

 _"_ _I can't tell you" he said softly._

 _"_ _Why is that?" Poppy asked._

 _"_ _If they get in trouble, they'll tell my parents. And then my parents will know that I got them in trouble. …And they'll be mad at me."_

 _"_ _You have not gotten them into trouble" Minerva said, suddenly angry at this twisted way of thought. "They attacked you. Even if you began it, nothing gives them the right to attack another student. Your parents will be angry that their son was attacked, not that you confessed to being attacked."_

 _Sirius stared at her a moment, and Minerva felt sure that he was finally understanding and was about to tell them what had happened. Then, slowly, he shook his head at her._

 _"_ _No" he muttered quietly. "…They won't be."_

 **.**

He'd refused to tell them any additional information no matter how much they pressed him for it. It seemed, he was going to protect his family even after what they'd done to him. There was no doubt in Minerva's mind that it had been at least some of his cousins that had attacked him. Yet, he was choosing to protect his family. _Gryffindors always were loyal to a fault._ They knew nothing other than the fact that he had not started it; he had asserted that much at least, and both women believed him.

* * *

 **(Peter Pettigrew)**

Peter awoke the next morning to the sound of Sirius Black swearing. Having the bed closest to the door of the washroom was not a plus when one lived with loud dorm-mates. Peter rolled around to look over at the door. _What's he swearing at this time?_ Sirius and James had stayed up more than half the night, not caring to speak softly so that he or Remus could sleep. Peter understood that Sirius had endured something the day before, and he truly felt bad that such a thing had happened to his new friend; yet, as he lay there with only a couple of hours sleep under his belt and a full day of classes and homework ahead, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of annoyance for their lack of consideration.

Sirius hadn't bothered to close the door to the bathroom fully; through the small opening left between the door and its frame, Peter could see Sirius. He was standing in his emerald and gray pinstriped pajamas staring at himself in the square mirror above the sink. He had a black furry winter hat pulled down to his dark eyebrows. His hands were clutching the sides of the sink in anger. The older boy gave another look at the mirror and sighed. With one hand, he slowly lifted the front of the hat just enough to see the red writing etched onto his forehead. He was staring at the word, and Peter had a distinct feeling that he was intruding on a personal moment.

Averting his eyes from the bathroom, Peter sat up and cleared his throat. At once he heard the door shut. He looked over and saw that Remus was stretching now, just waking up. The bed to Peter's right, James', was empty. _That's strange. James never leaves before the rest of us. And he always wakes us up._

"Morning, Peter" Remus said through a yawn as he got out of bed.

"Morning, Remus. Do you know where James is?"

"No. He isn't in the bathroom?"

"No, Sirius is." Remus clearly wasn't finding James' absence as intriguing as he was.

The sandy-haired boy was getting changed into his school robes now. Peter gave a sigh, as he sleepily heaved himself out of bed and began to put on his school uniform as well. Gryffindor, he thought to himself proudly, just as he did nearly every time he put on his red and gold apparel. He, Peter Pettigrew, had made Gryffindor. His parents were so surprised and pleased. After a few minutes passed in casual conversation with Remus, the two found themselves sitting on their trunks waiting for the bathroom.

 _He's just staring at himself. There're other people in this room who have to get in there. So inconsiderate._

Like Peter, Remus seemed to decide that it was better to wait than to disturb Sirius. At last, the door opened and Sirius came storming out, hat still on his head, and threw himself down on his own bed.

"I'm not going" Sirius groaned dramatically. Remus was quick to hurry over to the side of his bed.

"Sirius, it's not that bad. The hat" Remus craned his neck to see "covers it."

"I can't wear the hat like **this** , Lupin" he said in exasperation, and for a second it reminded Peter of his teenage cousin Samantha when she had messed up her hair before a trip to London. "I look like an idiot. I'm not going to classes until this wears off."

"Sirius, you said that could be days." Remus, per usual, was trying to reason things out calmly and logically. "If you miss class for that long you'll fall behind."

"I don't care. I'm not leaving this room until it's gone. You'll all just have to bring me up food."

"Sirius, what about your schoolwork?"

"I don't care about **that**! I care about looking like an idiot and I'm not leaving this room and that's final." Remus gave a frustrated sigh at his friend's stubbornness. Sirius removed his hands from his face and sat up a little. "Only…if you could take down my assignments for me I'd be much obliged" Sirius added with a guilty grin.

"Of course, I will" Remus replied. At that moment, the door to the dormitory burst open and James came strolling in, a bright smile on his face.

"Good morning mates! Why aren't you dressed, Black?"

"He isn't going to classes" Peter said. He was glad that James was back. Whenever he was alone with Sirius and Remus, he felt like the two had shared secrets. It always made him feel like an outsider.

"Oh yes he is!" James contradicted boldly. "I worked really hard to put this all together this morning, and you will all be up and about to see it. Now hurry and get dressed. I've been up for over an hour and I'm famished."

"Put what all together?" Remus asked.

"You'll see" James assured him happily. "Come on, Sirius! Get up! And you'll have to take that hat off as well." Sirius hadn't moved. He was staring at James with narrowed eyes.

"What have you done? I'm not leaving here unless I know."

"You'll see and yes you are" James replied tartly. "Now, up!"

Peter bit his lip, waiting for the argument to begin. Both James and Sirius were very bossy by nature, and it didn't usually go well when they tried to command each other. Yet, to his relief, Sirius rolled his eyes and switched into his school robes.

"I'll go to the hall, but I'm not going to class."

The common room was empty, for they were a bit on the late side for breakfast. Sirius wore the hat all the way down to the Great Hall. As they walked, Peter could see that there was gold glittering in all directions out of the corners of his eyes. They sat down at the table. James was almost bursting with how pleased he was with himself, and Sirius had his eyes trained downward at the plate in front of him.

"James" Remus whispered in awe. "Did you…?"

"I most certainly did!" James stood up from his seat, a glass in one hand and a knife in the other. He clinked the knife against the empty glass for a few seconds until most of the hall quieted. _It's almost as if they were expecting him to do this. What is he up to?_ Though, the members of the staff table were watching in eager surprise. Sirius shrunk down as low as he could get without sliding off the bench and onto the floor.

"Thank you for your attention" James spoke loudly with all the confidence as if he had been the headmaster himself. "I'd just like to thank all of the Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs for passing along and sporting such support for our fellow anti-purist. May the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs be fortunate enough to steal a few traitors for themselves in the future! Cheers to the heir!"

All at once, the glasses of the Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw students rose into the air and clinked against each other. Many of the Gryffindors let out cheers and whoops. Sirius was staring in disbelief at James. Then he began to look around to see what James had been referring to when he said that people were sporting their support. Peter looked around too. With astonishment and pride, he saw that the glittering gold was on almost every student in the hall – every student except those in Slytherin. Some had the gold script spelled onto the back of their robes, some had it on the front, others had it on their schoolbags. Then James took off his own sweater and revealed the glittering gold script on the front of his shirt to Peter, Remus, and Sirius.

The three stared at the words in shock. James, still standing, was beaming down at them triumphantly. Across their friend's black shirt, and similarly spelled onto the apparel of the other Gryffindors, the Ravenclaws, and the Hufflepuffs were the words:

 _ **Gryffindor:**_

 _ **Courageously claiming the**_

 _ **Noble and most Ancient**_

 _ **Family fortunes**_

 _ **One blood-traitor at a time.**_

 _ **Cheers to the heir!**_

Peter looked over at Sirius, awaiting his reaction. He was gaping at James, the sides of his mouth turning up into a huge smile.

"I can't believe you did this. **How** did you manage this? I can't believe they all…"

"Support you" James finished for him, retaking his seat across from him. It was true that many students had given Sirius a difficult time because of his family despite him being in Gryffindor. _I think that's going to stop now. They can see pretty clearly that he doesn't get along with his family. He's a Gryffindor. He's one of us. And now they'll finally see it…thanks to James._ What was more was that James finally saw it now too.

* * *

 **(Sirius Black)**

All day, Sirius had strangers clapping him on the back as he walked down the hall. Some people called out from the other ends of corridors when they saw him approaching. Shouts of "Cheers to the heir!" seemed to lurk around every corner. Despite the bandwagon excitement of James' morning speech, some students actually came up wanting to shake his hand and introduce themselves; many of these students made unsolicited confessions, such as "I misjudged you and I'm sorry". Sirius couldn't help but think that although he was not the blood-purist they had assumed he was, they still did not know him well enough to make a sound judgment on him. They had only gone from one assumption to another. Yet, he was beyond pleased that the latest assumption about him was that he was unprejudiced and rather rebellious.

Throughout the day, James seemed to be basking in the glory as well. People kept congratulating him on his handy spell work with the witty script, as well as his audacity to single out the Slytherins who had attacked his friend. It seemed that over the course of breakfast, they had transitioned from Sirius Black: the pureblood elitist who wound up in the wrong house, and James Potter: the class prankster, to Sirius Black: the first decent heir to the House of Black in history, and James Potter: the kid bold enough to outwardly attack injustices. The pair were like heroes to Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff; one had rebelled against the insanity of the purists (although he hadn't planned to), even though he could have been glorified among them, and the other had rallied nearly the whole school to support what he believed was right. The two had already been known as reckless pranksters, talented students, and formidable tempers to cross; however, that day they seemed to earn an entirely new level of respect from their fellow students, and – in fact – from several of their professors.

Sirius felt indebted to James Potter. James had single-handedly changed the school-wide opinion of him. He had solidified the fact that Sirius was rightfully placed in Gryffindor house, despite where his family members had been. Furthermore, he seemed to quiet the stereotype that because he was a Black he supported pureblood supremacy. Sirius knew, of course, that as time passed some people would still harbor their initial judgments of him and would still attribute his family's beliefs to what they assumed were his own; yet, after today, Sirius was sure that more than a few opinions about him had been changed permanently.

There was no way he could ever thank James in kind for doing such a thing for him. He had known James Potter for less than two months, and already he had taught him that his family's view of the world was not necessarily the right one or the only one, and he had helped Sirius to find acceptance with people that would never have accepted him otherwise. Sirius' beliefs had changed significantly in such a short amount of time, and although he was still confused and unsure on a great many things, he knew that he had James to thank for showing him that he didn't have to be just like his family.

 _I get to choose what I believe._

* * *

 **(James Potter)**

Despite yesterday's success at getting Sirius to leave the dormitory, the next morning he'd adamantly refused to leave it again until his cousin's spell had worn off. James had rolled his eyes but consented to letting it go. Remus had already offered to lend Sirius his meticulous notes and bring him his assignments, so James didn't have much of a fight to put up other than the fact that Sirius was going to get bored.

"Being in my bedroom with all these muggle books and snacks?" Sirius had said with a grin. "Trust me, I'll be fine."

Just as they'd sat down to lunch in the Great Hall under a bright blue cloudless sky, James realized that he'd forgotten his Potions assignment back in the dormitory. It was a long trek all the way up to Gryffindor Tower and then back down to the dungeons for Potions, so he went alone. He'd tried enlisting Peter to join him, but Peter put his foot down about missing lunch, and James didn't have it in him to take advantage of Remus – he doubted Remus would have had it in him to deny any of them anything they asked.

 _Maybe Sirius will be bored out of his mind and will come down for class again._

"Inlustris" James said quickly when he reached the Fat Lady. He dashed through the portrait hole and up the spiral staircase to the dormitory.

When he opened the door, he couldn't believe what he saw. The room was completely straightened. All four of the beds were made up. Trunks were closed. Sirius' two foot high pile of clothes, and the miscellaneous possessions that had been strewn all over the floor, were put away out of sight. The windows were open; a cool fresh breeze was coming in and sunlight filled the room. James looked around, taking in the room. Even Remus' stack of books was now neatly lined up by size on his bedside table.

James gaped, and then his scanning eyes found Sirius, who was just coming out of the bathroom. When he saw James his face flushed and he looked down immediately.

"Did you do all this?" James asked, not even believing how different the room looked and felt in just a few short hours. Sirius looked up at him with his eyes, his head still low, visibly embarrassed. They simply stared at one another for a moment before Sirius crossed his arms and shrugged.

"I got bored" he mumbled, but the uncomfortable look on his face gave him away.

James couldn't help grinning. _Sure you did_ , he thought sarcastically. He knew the truth. Sirius had clearly straightened up to thank him for yesterday in the only way he could think of that was big enough; he'd finally given in on their ongoing argument over the state of the room. Still, Sirius didn't exactly admit that he'd given in and done this to express his thanks to James, but James knew. _To call him out or to accept it as the thanks it is?_ He didn't want to embarrass his friend further; Merlin knew what type of work Sirius thought cleaning up after himself was… and he'd even cleaned up after the rest of them. _He must have had quite the internal struggle to humble himself enough to do so._ _I appreciate it even if he doesn't say it._

James grinned warmly at his friend.

"I told you you'd get bored" James replied. Sirius could probably detect from his tone that James knew the truth of why he'd cleaned their dorm, but James knew that he'd appreciate not being called out on it nonetheless. Sirius gave a reluctant smile back, still looking a little embarrassed, although now slightly relieved.

James went to his trunk and retrieved the assignment he'd come up there for, Sirius grabbed his bag and the black furry winter hat from his wardrobe, and the two of them headed down for Potions. They didn't say another word about the dormitory or Sirius' family all the way down to the dungeons; they didn't need to. For the first time, they were actually beginning to understand each other.


	10. Chapter 9: Quidditch

**Warning:** Mentions of child abuse; verbal abuse

 ** _Author's Note:_**

 _So so sorry for the delay on this chapter! I just started a new job and I had a really busy few weeks. I will do my best to not have that much time in between updates again (It may take me a couple of weeks to adjust to the new job, but then I am hoping to get back to updating once or twice per week.)_

 _This chapter picks up about two weeks after the last chapter ended. (Also, I don't like the way I end this chapter, but I really wanted to update, so...)_

 _Please feel free to leave a review! I really appreciate them._

 **.**

 **.**

* * *

 **(Sirius Black)**

The four of them had just arrived back at the dormitory from the evening feast in the Great Hall. James was talking animatedly about how he was sure his latest attempt at convincing McGonagall to let him join the Gryffindor Quidditch team would pay off. Peter was going along with it per usual, telling James that McGonagall would have to actually want Gryffindor to lose by not allowing him on the team.

"I mean it, James" Peter went on as they each broke off to go to their respective beds. "You're probably the best chaser in the school."

Sirius thought that such a statement was ridiculous; Peter had only even seen James fly a few times, and he'd seen hardly any other student practicing – unless of course he wanted to count their first-year lying lessons, which he did not. _Still… at least he's loyal._

Sirius rolled his eyes and shot an amused look over at Remus, who was now quietly nestling himself into his covers with an unopened book at the ready on his lap. Remus gave him a small grin back, his amber eyes clearly revealing that he was entertained, and a last shrug that Sirius understood to mean 'there's no stopping them from talking about it.' It was true; James wouldn't shut up about Quidditch on a good day. Ever since try-outs had been posted in early October, James had made it his mission to be allowed to try-out for the Gryffindor team.

Remus opened his book and took his time turning to the page he'd left off on. Sirius watched him idly for a few moments. _He reminds me so much of Reg sometimes… especially when he reads._ A sudden jolt of recollection hit him. _Reg!_

He'd started a letter to his brother weeks ago, but he hadn't ever seemed to have any time to finish it – between homework, researching the whole blood-status debate, and exploring the castle with his dorm-mates – the world outside of Hogwarts castle seemed a lifetime away.

Sirius drew his bed curtains closed around himself. He was grateful that the others were all too absorbed with their own activities to notice and question it. He didn't prefer to write to Regulus, or to anyone really, in front of other people. Family matters were to be kept entirely private, and that was perfectly normal; at least that was what he told himself.

Sirius leaned over to his bedside table and opened the top drawer. He pulled out the half-written letter, ink, and a quill. He'd started the letter during his first week of school, and added to it now and then ever since; thus, his opinions and thoughts changed drastically throughout it. He figured that he probably should have started the letter over, but he didn't have the time – or the care really – to do so. Besides, Regulus would understand.

It'd been over a week since he'd worked on it, so he scanned it over from the beginning.

 _ **Hey Reg,**_

 _ **I miss you. Hogwarts is incredible. It's so so so much bigger than we thought it was. I can't wait until you're here too.**_

 _ **I've been sorted into Gryffindor. Mother and Father aren't happy. I didn't do it on purpose exactly. I just told the hat to put me where I'd fit best, and that's what it did.**_

 _ **I've got three dorm-mates: James, Remus, and Peter. They're alright I guess. James is a Potter, so he's decent enough. He's funny, but I get what everyone says about them being blood-traitors. Remus doesn't talk – at all. Okay, he talks a little, but you can barely hear him, so it's the same thing as not talking. Peter is sort of odd and boring. I wish you were here with me.**_

 _ **Gryffindor isn't under the lake like Slytherin. It's in a tower. It's actually rather nice.**_

 _That was where he'd stopped after the first attempt at a letter to his brother. Sirius gave a_ sigh, reading over the next portion – angry words, which he'd written several weeks into school.

 _ **You have no right to be angry with me, you know. I got Mother's letter saying that you're angry and disappointed with me, but you've no right to be. I didn't ask the hat to put me in this stupid house!**_

It'd been weeks later when Sirius had picked up the letter again, finally cooled off enough to write to Regulus. He wanted him to understand. More than even that, he had just missed him, and he had been worried about Regulus being at home alone with their parents for so long.

 ** _I should be very angry at you for not writing to me and for being upset with me. I am, I suppose. But, I also miss you. How are you? Are things alright with Mother and Father? Are you staying out of trouble? Even if you're mad at me, please write me back to let me know that you're okay._**

 ** _James is a horrible dorm-mate. I can't stand him sometimes and then I just miss you and wish you were here. James keeps going on about how I need to clean up the room and a bunch of other nonsense. Meanwhile, he keeps his toothbrush out on the sink ledge … yet I'm the disgusting one?_**

 ** _Anyway, we found this strange mirror the other day. That's where my dorm-mates are now, though they should be back soon. When I looked in it, I saw our family. You, Mum, Father, and me. I don't know what kind of a mirror can do that. Maybe Father knows? I'd write to ask, but the last letter I sent him with questions just seemed to make him angry._**

 ** _I have so many questions now about what makes our family special compared to others. There are loads of half-bloods and muggleborns here, and they seem perfectly normal and intelligent._**

There'd been an interruption then – per usual – as his three dorm-mates had returned to the room. Sirius had quickly shoved the letter into his bedside table drawer. He didn't like writing such personal things in front of them.

That was as far as the letter had progressed thus far. He dipped his long-feathered quill into the precariously balanced ink bottle and then pressed it to the parchment.

 _ **Reg** _ he began below the last line. **_How are you doing? I miss you a lot. I'm enjoying my time at school, but I'm glad I'll get to see you over winter break. I can't wait until you're here too and then I don't have to worry about you being at home. Hope you're okay._**

"Sirius?" James called from outside the bed curtains. "Why'd you close the curtains? Are you alright?" Sirius rolled his eyes in annoyance, but he also grinned inwardly at his friend's concern.

"I'm fine, James" Sirius called back. "Just heard enough about your star chasing abilities for one evening.

There was a brief pause, and then:

"Alright" James sighed. "You lot want to take the cloak out and go exploring?"

"Yeah!" Peter exclaimed quickly. It was followed by Remus' quiet assent.

"Sure" Sirius replied. He was happy to go exploring again. They found new rooms every time, and he was certain that they knew more of the school than even the fourth years. He looked back to the letter. _I really should get to finishing this and sending it off._ He wasn't in a massive rush, since Regulus hadn't bothered to write to him at all. Yet, he still enjoyed writing the letter to Regulus, even if he hadn't sent the letter and received a response. He knew Regulus well enough to know what he would say to most of what Sirius had written, and so it eased some of how much he missed him just to write the letter itself.

 ** _I take back what I said about James being a horrible dorm-mate, by the way. I thought you should know. He's actually pretty incredible and he's a good friend now. Remus is a pretty good friend now as well; he talks more, and he's really smart. He kind of reminds me of you. He reads a lot and he's very thoughtful. I like Peter more now too, though he still can get on my nerves when he dotes all over James too much._**

"Sirius!" James called again, and Sirius could tell from his tone that he wasn't going to wait much longer.

 _ **The first Quidditch match of the year is coming up soon, and I can't wait to see it.**_

"We're going to leave without you, if you don't hurry up" James called as he opened the door to their dormitory. Sirius hastily folded up the letter, shoved it under the mattress of the bed, and then yanked open the bed curtains.

"I'm coming, I'm coming."

* * *

 **(James Potter)**

"For the hundredth time, no" Professor McGonagall said, sounding both firm and frustrated.

James had been so sure that he'd be able to wear her down to letting him play on the house team a year early – or at least letting him try out for the team – if he'd kept pestering her. He was used to getting his way if he asked for something enough times.

"But, **please** , Professor!" James said, hurrying after her down the corridor. "If you could just watch me fly – "

"I have already told you, Potter. First years are not allowed to play for the house teams. No exceptions."

"Yes, I know that, Professor. But if you would just watch me fly I'm sure you'd agree that – "

"Mr. Potter, I am intricately aware of the training you have had already, since you posted a list of your experience on my office door two weeks ago." _Yeah. Really thought that one would have worked. I must have loads more flying experience than these other people._ "Despite your credentials, those are the school rules."

"But you're deputy headmistress! That's a powerful position, Prof- Headmistress." He gave her one of his most winning smiles…the one his parents could never say 'no' to.

"Gryffindor house will be lucky to have you on the team next year, Potter …permitting that you excel in the try-outs."

 _Time for a change of approach._

"Did you know that no one younger than twelve has made it onto a Quidditch team in nearly a **century**? Don't you think it's time that we change that antiquated statistic? You and me, Professor! McGonagall and Potter, changing the lives of eleven-year-old Quidditch players around the world!" She shot him a mildly amused look. "…Or at least at Hogwarts" he pressed.

"Believe it or not, Mr. Potter, there are more important responsibilities that I have to this school and its students than allowing first years to try out for their house teams."

"But you're my **head** of **house** " James moaned. "Aren't you supposed to be looking out for your students' career interests? Wouldn't **that** be one of those more important responsibilities? I want to be a **professional Quidditch player**. Just think of how you'd be helping my future career prospects if you –"

"Mr. Potter" she interrupted firmly and stopped walking. "I appreciate your enthusiasm, but this is enough. Surely you have better things to be doing with your time than asking me the same question you've been requesting all year. The answer is no. I'm sorry Potter; that is my final word."

James gaped at her as she walked briskly away. _She said no. She actually still said no. Those were some of the best arguments. Doesn't she care if Gryffindor gets the cup at all?_

James slowly made his way back to the Great Hall, where his dorm-mates, along with Frank, were eating lunch. He sauntered along the long Gryffindor table, and as he approached them, they each were giving him a questioning look. He wasn't in the mood to discuss it – for once. He was done. _She isn't going to change her mind before the first match on Saturday._ He shook his head once at them, and they gave him looks of sympathy. Even Frank, who had told him repeatedly that he wasn't going to be allowed on the team as a first-year, still was kind enough to restrain any well-warranted 'I-told-you-so' remarks. James plopped down between Peter and Frank, across from Sirius and Remus.

"What'd your parents say, James?" Peter asked in a last ditch effort to cheer him up. "Are they going to write to her?"

 _Ugh. No._ He gave a heavy sigh as Frank asked:

"You wrote to your parents to ask them to ask McGonagall?" He sounded both shocked and – to James' gloom – disappointed. "James…" Frank trailed off in that way he did when he was unhappy; it made him sound like his father.

"Yes, Frank" James grumbled. "I did. I shouldn't have, but I did."

"What did they say?" Peter prodded again.

"They probably said no way" Frank told him as he reached across James to scoop another spoonful of mashed potatoes onto his plate.

"Yeah" James mumbled. "My Mum was actually pretty mad that I asked. She said this morning in her letter that I shouldn't be trying to break the rules, and something about acting spoiled." He gave a shrug. "Whatever… I give up."

"Next year" Peter assured him. "Next year, you'll make them wish they'd have listened to you and let you on."

James grinned at the thought. _That is absolutely true._

"Thanks, Peter."

They ate a while longer, talking about classes, homework, and the upcoming match. Sirius caught James' eye; he was staring at him with a very confused look on his face, and as soon as James noticed that he was staring, he looked pointedly away. James made a mental note to ask him about it later.

'Later' arrived in about ten minutes as they got up to return to the Gryffindor common room. They were going to start a massive game of snap with whoever was around and willing to play. The five of them made their way up to the tower and James hung back a moment to fall in line with Sirius, who had taken his time selecting which items of food he wanted to take back with him while the rest of them had been walking towards the door.

"Hey, mate" James said, cheerful once more. James was never someone who remained sullen for long.

"'Lo" Sirius mumbled through a bite of pink-frosted doughnut. The pair moseyed towards the door to the Entrance Hall. "You should get one of these" Sirius said after he finished chewing.

"I'm not going back for a doughnut" James laughed.

"A whole ten steps" Sirius teased.

"You were staring at me earlier, yeah? How come?" James asked bluntly. Sirius looked surprised, but not alarmed, by the question. He answered casually.

"I just was trying to figure out why you lied."

"What?" That had not been at all what James had been expecting to hear. _I didn't lie. Lie about what, anyway?_

"About your mother being angry. Why'd you say she was angry when she's not?"

"What d'you mean?" James asked in bewilderment. "She's angry. I haven't lied about anything, you nutter."

Sirius raised a disbelieving eyebrow at him.

"She sent you cookies this morning with your letter" Sirius remarked, as if this somehow explained everything.

"So?"

" **So** … she sent you cookies!" Sirius exclaimed, sounding exasperated at the mere effort of explaining his thoughts.

James just gawked at him in confusion. _What does sending me cookies have to do with anything?_ Sirius laughed at him.

"Why're you laughing?" James asked, a smirk forming on his face. "You're a real nutter, Black. Just 'cause she's mad doesn't mean she isn't still going to send me cookies. It's Thursday. She always sends cookies on Thursdays. …Well, except for that one time when she sent fudge instead, but… Thursday is for cookies."

It was Sirius' turn to stare at him in bewilderment.

"Thursday is for cookies" Sirius repeated after a long pause. Sirius broke into a barking laugh. "You're so spoilt."

James feigned an offended frown.

"I always share" he protested.

"You do" Sirius conceded. "Speaking of which, you should probably start sharing less with Peter… you aren't doing him any favors."

 _You prat._

"Says the bloke eating his third doughnut of the day" James shot back. He didn't like anyone making fun of his friends – even his other friends. Sirius smirked back mischievously.

"Fifth" he corrected unapologetically.

* * *

 **(Remus Lupin)**

The second Sunday of October began even earlier than usual in regard to waking up; yet, the boisterous elated awakening was entirely expected. Remus awoke with a jolt to the sound of James Potter's voice nearly shouting with excited joy. True, James usually took it upon himself to wake them and make sure that they were all "taking full advantage of another beautiful day", but this rousing was even more abrupt than usual.

"Today's the day!" James was yelling. "It's finally here!" Remus pulled open his bed-curtains to reveal the rest of the room. James was still sitting in bed, but he looked wide awake. He beamed across the room at Remus. Remus returned the smile, though he was quite positive that James had woken them long before they needed to be awake for the first Quidditch match of the year: Gryffindor versus Slytherin.

"We should dress in all Gryffindor colors" Peter's small sleepy voice said from the bed to James' left as he drew his bed-curtains open as well. The small blonde boy was grinning. "Don't you think, James?"

"Absolutely! I wouldn't dream of wearing anything else, mate. Oi, Legend! Join the living!" Remus looked to the bed on his right and saw that the curtains were being pulled open. A mess of long black hair emerged; Sirius was rubbing his eyes and yawning. He grinned at Remus and then at James.

"I won't even look at the time, because I know that you've woken us all long before we actually needed to be up" he said, but his voice was light and happy. _He's excited for the match too._

"This is the best day that we're going to have yet! I just know it!" James shouted. "Gryffindor is going to beat that talentless Slytherin team into the mud. I can't wait!"

"Anyone mind if I take the first shower?" Peter asked considerately.

"Not at all" Sirius mumbled through another yawn. "I'm afraid to ask, but how long do I have to wait 'til breakfast?"

"'Bout two hours, mate" James said gleefully. "Plenty of time for us to cast our predictions on how the game's going to go."

"Alright. And also to make sure that Remus understands all the rules."

"Didn't you read the rule guide I gave you, Remus?"

 _Yes, James, but it wasn't exactly straight-forward. What good is a coded rule guide if I can't understand the terminology?_

"I did."

"So you understand the rules?" James asked quickly, making a point to look at Sirius with an 'I told you I had it covered' expression.

 _I don't want him to think I'm an idiot._

"I think so." _Lies. I've got no clue._ Sirius seemed to see through him, and he gave a laugh.

"So that's a 'no'" Sirius chuckled. "Don't worry, Remus, I'll explain them in English for you."

"What do you mean by that? I've always found that guide to be really helpful" James scowled.

"It's only helpful for people who already know everything about Quidditch, you berk." Sirius rolled his eyes. Then he turned to Remus and added "Don't be hesitant to tell him how it is. Potter needs a good dose of reality every once and a while. It's good for him."

Embarrassed, Remus looked down, but he couldn't help but grin. _Thanks, Sirius._ James chucked a pillow across the room in Sirius' direction, but it fell short of making it the distance to the foot of his bed.

"Ha! Chaser my arse, Potter. No keeper is going to let you get closer than this to the rings."

"Yeah, well Quaffles are a bit more aerodynamic than pillows aren't they? You're supposed to be some kind of expert now, aren't you?"

 _Ah, yes. The airplanes that Sirius hasn't shut up about all week._

"As a matter of fact I am, and that reminds me of what I've been meaning to tell you. There are these things called helicopters and –"

James cut him off with a loud groan and fell back dramatically onto his back.

"No! I take it back! You're not the expert. Quidditch talk please."

"We will, but could I just tell you about –?"

"Not **today** , Sirius!" James said sharply.

"Just give me three minutes."

"No."

" **Two** minutes. They're awesome; you'll like hearing about them."

"For Merlin's sake, I said **not today**! Please, I've been waiting for this day **all year** and now it's finally here and dammit we are going to enjoy it!" But Remus watched as Sirius' face fell and he nodded agreeably, and then James gave huge sigh and said, "Fine, three minutes about the helsicops. But then it's back to Quidditch."

* * *

 **(Sirius Black)**

It was just getting chilly enough to wear scarves and wool cloaks. Sirius was proudly wearing the Gryffindor scarf that Andromeda had given him for his birthday. He also borrowed one of James' Gryffindor-red t-shirts.

"You'll be cold" James had warned him.

"Thanks for the warning, Mum" he'd replied sarcastically.

He was cold, and they'd not even made it to their seats yet. He wasn't going to admit it to James, however. The walk down to the pitch had taken nearly ten minutes, and now they were in line to go up into one of the stands. The entire school had come out to watch the match since it was the first game of the season.

 _Gryffindor versus Slytherin. Can't get better than that._

He wanted more than anything for Gryffindor to win. He wondered if he should interrupt James and rescue Remus from having to listen to him rattling of his Quidditch predictions for the game. _As if Remus knows what a Vronsky faint is…_

He was weighing the prospect of aiding Remus against upsetting James – especially after James had let him tell him about the helicopters – by telling him to stop talking about his predictions, when a familiar voice sounded behind him.

"Sirius" it said firmly and dripping with both condescension and accusation.

All three of them had heard, and so all three of them looked over at Rabastan Lestrange. Rabastan, a pale brunette with striking large blue eyes, was in his second year. He had been there the other night when they'd all attacked him in the common room. He was his second cousin. Sirius had never been particularly fond of any of his relatives, but Regulus had always seemed to like Rabastan. As a result, Sirius had tried to like Rabastan; but, he concluded that he did not… could not. All the Lestrange's were just very off.

"Rabastan" Sirius said, succeeding in sounding equally as disdainful. His cousin held up a piece of parchment with writing on it that he couldn't make out, since his cousin was a good four feet away from him.

"See this? It's called a letter" Rabastan snarled sarcastically. "You know what you're supposed to do when you get one of these, right? You were raised to be civilized even if you did end up in a house living with mudbloods?"

"You're the one who's uncivilized, using a world like that!" James shouted, charging forward to stand beside Sirius. James had his wand out.

 _Merlin, he really hates that word. It's just a word, James._ Of course, Rabastan ignored James.

"I **reply** to my letters" Rabastan went on. "Unlike you, who apparently don't even have the decency to give a single bloody reply even though we're all the way into fucking October."

 _What's he talking about? He can't be seriously talking about the fact that I didn't write back to my parents. What'd Mum do, write to all of them to tell them to lecture me on not replying?_

Rabastan looked furious. Arrogant stubbornness kicking in, Sirius decided it would be best to assume that he knew exactly what Rabastan was talking about. It had to be about his parents' letters anyway; he hadn't received any others.

"I'm not going to reply. Feel free to pass that along" Sirius said, sounding as if the entire conversation was beneath him. Yet, Sirius was doing his best to mask his growing fury and embarrassment. Rabastan gawked for a second and then his face turned to one of disgust.

"You're a revolting person" Rabastan said with abhorrence, shaking his head slowly at him in disbelief.

 _I'm not the one who participated in an attack of eight against one. Why the hell does he even care?_

"Yeah, well, if not writing back to people I don't like makes me a revolting person, I don't care" Sirius spat back angrily.

"People you don't like?" Rabastan asked in shock. "You traitorous lying prat! You don't care about anyone but yourself! I wish we didn't let you go! I wish we'd finished you off like you deserve."

But that was too much. Sirius was past the point of being furious. Who did Rabastan think he was, coming up to him and scolding him for not writing letters back to his parents? It was bad enough he brought attention back to the fact that his family was in Slytherin to his friends, but to attempt to lecture him like this? He had no right. And to say that he wished they'd finished him off! Sirius wanted revenge on his cousins that had tricked him and attacked him, Rabastan very much included.

Sirius wasn't even thinking; he was only acting. He charged toward his cousin and tackled him to the ground upon impact. Rabastan was caught completely off guard. Sirius was on top of him, throwing punch after punch at his face. Rabastan was struggling to shove Sirius off and get free, but Sirius wasn't budging. Rabastan was a year older than him, but he wasn't really any bigger or stronger than he was.

Still, Rabastan managed to get a good swing in at Sirius' face, and Sirius toppled off of him. Rabastan was quick to get on top of him, throwing punches just as fiercely as Sirius had been. It was only a few seconds before the two of them were rolling, fighting for the upper hand, yelling, and throwing punches anywhere they could as they went.

"Sirius stop!" he could hear James' voice, but it seemed so far away.

"You filthy traitor!" Rabastan was yelling at him as they wrestled fiercely. Then, he felt two hands pulling him away from Rabastan. He fought against their pull, but Rabastan was being pulled away too. "No!" Rabastan hollered. "Let me fight him! I want that selfish arse to pay for what he's doing!"

"Rabastan stop it!" Sirius recognized that fierce commanding voice as well; he calmed down enough to see that it was Rodolphus who had torn Rabastan, his younger brother, away from the fight. Sirius turned around to see that it was James who had pulled him away. James looked uncharacteristically concerned; he still had a firm grip on both of Sirius' shoulders.

"What is the meaning of this?!" _Shit._ Professor McGonagall was hurrying over to them now, her long green robes billowing out behind her. She reached the small group of them in a moment's time. Sirius had never seen her looking so livid. Her mouth had gone so thin that it was barely more than a single line across her face. "Explain yourselves immediately."

For a minute they all stared at her saying nothing. Sirius was radiating heat and anger. Finally, he spoke, his tone aloof.

"Bit of a family quarrel, Professor."

"A fam-?" she began to ask, and then made the connection. She looked from the Lestrange brothers to Sirius and James. It was very clear that only two of the four had been fighting. Their clothes and hair were disheveled and dirty, and they were both sporting visible bruises and scrapes. "There is no excuse for brawling like savages. I repeat: **no excuse**. Mr. Black, Mr. Lestrange, you will both receive detention with me for the next week. Beginning tonight at eight o'clock."

"I can't, Professor" Sirius interrupted. Then, catching himself, he shot her an apologetic look.

"Excuse me, Black?" she asked sternly.

He wished he didn't have to say this in front of the Lestrange's. _Ugh._ He swallowed his embarrassment and tried to sound apologetic but unashamed.

"I already have detention tonight with Professor Flitwick. …And tomorrow night with Madam Walters." He shot a sidelong glance at James for moral support. "…And the next night with Professor Sprout."

McGonagall didn't even look surprised.

"Fine, Mr. Black, then you will serve your detentions with me in the morning before classes so that they do not interfere with your other detentions."

 _Ughhh._

She drew her attention back to include Rabastan as well as Sirius.

"I will also be writing to each of your families this evening." She shot a lingering stare down at Sirius. "Now off with all of you."

Suddenly, gravity felt too heavy to stand. _No. They'll be furious. They'll kill me._

Beside him, Rabastan had gone equally white at the prospect of his father finding out that he'd gotten into a fistfight at school. He looked up at Rodolphus, but his brother only gave him an unsympathetic 'you-got-yourself-into-it' look and shook his head at him.

Sirius found his words at last. James was talking to him, but he didn't register what he was saying. Professor McGonagall was a good fifteen feet away from them now, but he ran after her.

"Professor!" He ran past her and stopped in front of her, forcing her to stop on her way back to the stands. She looked entirely unamused. He was desperate. _She can't write to them; she has to listen_. "Please, Professor" he said frantically. "You can't write to my parents. I mean please don't write to my parents."

"Mr. Black" she said, relaxing ever so slightly now that she understood why he had charged after her. "First off, fighting at school warrants a letter home regardless of who the student may be. That being said, you in particular seem to have a knack for getting into compromising situations. You have served countless detentions, and yet the message does not seem to get through. I will be writing to your parents."

Sirius stood frozen before her for so long that she continued walking. Only when she was completely away from him did he recover slightly from the realization of what he knew his parents' reaction would be if she wrote to them about this. He took a few long strides to catch up to her.

"Professor!" he pleaded urgently. She fixed him with a stern look. "Isn't there something else you could do? I get what you're saying about the detentions, but maybe there's something else you could do besides write to my parents." His mind was racing trying to think of examples. "I could miss dinners…or-or lunches…or" he grimaced "Quidditch matches. Just please don't write to them."

He thought he could see a hint of appreciation for his effort in her eyes; yet, she didn't budge.

"As I said before, Mr. Black: any student found fighting at school receives a letter home. I cannot bend the rules for one student. Perhaps next time you will consider the potential repercussions of your actions beforehand."

He gave her a small nod. He was petrified. They were going to be furious. Beyond furious. Not only had he behaved poorly by getting into a fight – with a relative no less – but he had fought in a muggle fashion rather than with a wand. He couldn't imagine what his mother and father would say when they found out. _First Gryffindor and now this._

Professor McGonagall seemed to soften a little at his reaction.

"You are free to write them a letter explaining your side of what happened you know."

 _It won't matter. They'll just be even more pissed that I tried to defend my actions._ She gave him a last look and walked away, leaving him standing there. He loathed Rabastan Lestrange - absolutely despised him. The wind whipped around him and he shivered. _Stupid t-shirt_ , he thought angrily. He was only standing alone for a matter of seconds, because his three friends bounded up to him.

James reached him first. _Great. Now he's going to tell me off for fighting._ James could get rather angry quickly too, but he wasn't usually violent – at least not to the extent of throwing punches. Sirius shot him a glare in warning; he was not in the mood to be told off. Yet, to Sirius' relief, James was wearing a rather calm expression.

"We'll get back at him" James assured him; he said it so matter-of-fact that Sirius let out a small grateful laugh. He nodded at his three friends.

"Let's go get seats" Sirius muttered. He needed a distraction from this mess, and the match was sure to provide it. They made their way back over to the staircases.

Their seats weren't great, seeing as they were delayed by the incident with Rabastan. Thus, they spent most of the match standing on top of their bench in order to see over the heads of everyone in front of them. James commentated rather obnoxiously throughout the entire game, but none of them told him to keep his mouth shut. Peter spent most of the match answering Remus' questions for a change.

When two hours had passed without either team's seeker catching the snitch, and Sirius felt like his arms were going to freeze and fall off, James took off his jacket and handed it to him with a disapproving grin.

"You can borrow it for a while" James told him in response to the inquisitive look Sirius gave him. "I told you you'd be cold" James added as Sirius gratefully slipped on the warm jacket.

* * *

 **(Sirius Black)**

The next morning, Sirius was practically falling asleep over his breakfast. He'd spent nearly the entire night lying awake in his four-poster bed, anxiously playing-out his parents' predicted reaction to the letter home in his head. He knew they'd be furious.

Even Gryffindor's miraculous win – after nearly four hours – when Sarah Wood caught the snitch right out from under Dolohov's nose, wasn't enough to dispense with his unease.

When the post arrived that morning, he did wake up enough to check the paper and make sure that news of his and Rabastan's little fight didn't somehow hit the press. He'd made the mistake of mentioning this worry to James the night before, but James had only laughed and teased that no one in their right mind would care to read about such rubbish, and that he should get over himself. Still, he had spent a good portion of the night agonizing over the imagined headline: Black Heir Caught Brawling like a muggle. Fortunately, there was nothing mentioning it in the paper; the Lestrange's didn't want that reputation either, and thus he was blessedly saved.

"James Potter to Sirius Black! I'm right, yeah?" James' wide awake tone broke through his thoughts. Sirius looked up at him from the paper, handing it back over to Carina, who he'd borrowed it from without asking.

"What?" Sirius asked groggily, right before yawning. James gave a chuckle.

"Never-mind, mate. You obviously weren't listening. …But, for future reference, when I ask you if I'm right, the answer is always 'yes'" James chuckled.

Sirius gave an intentionally dramatic sigh and turned to Remus.

"Was he talking about Quidditch?" Right now, even speaking the word Quidditch made his stomach churn uneasily. He knew he was going to be in so much trouble for the fight at the match yesterday. Remus nodded, shyly – never wanting to get in the middle of anything. "How'd I ever guess?" he added with a smirk at James, who rolled his eyes and continued his conversation with Peter and Frank.

"Sirius?" Remus asked softly, and the gentleness of his tone just made Sirius want to curl up and go back to bed. Remus often reminded him of Regulus when he was like that: caring, observant, and kind.

 _Merlin, what must Regulus be thinking of me after this? He's always liked Rabastan too. Reg… I miss him._ He really wished he had Regulus with him at school. Regulus always had a way of making him feel better, even if it was only by allowing him to focus on Regulus' well-being more than on his own. _Reg hasn't even written to me all term… He's upset I'm in Gryffindor… that I embarrassed the family… that we won't be in the same house…_

"Sirius" Remus asked again, looking worried. Sirius snapped back from his thoughts about his brother to the present situation. The noise of the Great Hall, with its many chattering students and its clattering of dishware, filtered back into his conscious awareness. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine" Sirius said back quietly. He didn't need anyone else catching on to how worried he was over this. The fact that Carina had asked him what was wrong the second she'd seen him didn't count, he told himself; _she knows more than other people_. "Thanks."

"You look like you might have been upset" Remus tried cautiously. Sirius had a quick temper - not usually with Remus, but he was still evidently proceeding gingerly. Sirius gave a small shrug.

"McGonagall wrote to my parents yesterday. I'm probably gonna get a howler." Remus' eyes went wide with sympathy.

"Maybe you should go to the dormitory. That way it'll be delivered there and no one else will hear it."

"That's a fair point, mate" Sirius mused. "…Yeah. I think I will." He looked around to grab a few croissants for the walk back up to Gryffindor Tower. Just as he was about to leave, he felt a presence behind him.

"Mr. Black" came the now familiar stern voice of Professor McGonagall. He turned to look at her, unable to hide how nervous he was. He was also painfully aware that many of the students around him had stopped talking to listen in. "If you would come with me please."

His stomach was doing flips. He thought he might get sick right on the spot. _Go with her where?_ He couldn't help but think that this was it; he had finally been misbehaved enough to warrant a real punishment. His mind briefly raced as he tried to think if there was anyone here who would be able to intervene and stick up for him; besides his three dorm-mates, who had little influence over such matters, he could think of no one. _Don't be stupid. No one's going to intervene._

He wasn't really aware of getting up and following her out of the Great Hall. It was as if he blacked out the memory as he walked. He was moving mechanically, following her to who knew where. It wasn't that he was so afraid of hexes or jinxes, only that this was someone new. He knew how his mother disciplined; he knew what hexes she'd use, he knew about how many until she'd stop, he knew how frequently they'd be sent at him. With McGonagall, he knew none of this. _Merlin, and then I have to have detention with her alone all week._ It was mortifying.

"We are going to the headmaster's office" she informed him. _Bloody hell, is he going to hex me too?_ "I wrote to your parents yesterday, as I told you that I would. Your mother has flooed to the headmaster's office, and wishes to speak with the three of us there."

Sirius stopped in his tracks; he couldn't move. This was worse – so much worse – than what he'd expected. He couldn't even fathom his mother being angry enough to come to the school and involve the headmaster and headmistress. Pure terror coursed through him. He had half a mind to run. It was a huge castle, the chances that they'd find him were pretty slim.

"Come along, Mr. Black" McGonagall instructed when she noticed that she had walked a good twenty feet without him.

He took a shuddering breath and followed her obediently. What choice did he have? Even if he fled, he'd have to see his mother eventually, and then it would be worse. They walked another few minutes before coming upon a statue of a very tall stone gargoyle.

"Ice Mice" Professor McGonagall said promptly, and to Sirius' surprise, the gargoyle began to rotate. Sirius stood beside Professor McGonagall as the staircase leading up to what must be Dumbledore's office spiraled down around a statue in front of them. McGonagall stepped onto the first stair and took a few steps up. Sirius' feet were planted firmly on the ground. He wanted to postpone the meeting with his mother for as long as possible.

 _How much does Mum know? Did they tell her about all my detentions? Merlin… I hope she doesn't yell in front of them._

There could be nothing more mortifying than having her scream her lecture – amongst a multitude of insults – at him in front of Dumbledore and McGonagall. It was also the first time she was seeing him since his sorting into Gryffindor; and he had her daily letters to remind him that she had still not forgiven him for that. Not to mention the fact that he had replied to hardly any of her letters – a rudeness she was not likely to let go.

"Come along, Mr. Black" Professor McGonagall said sternly. Her voice and expression were stern, but Sirius couldn't blame her.

 _I've caused nothing but trouble since I got here. She's probably relieved my parents are stepping in to dole out some discipline._ His stomach lurched again.

"Now" Professor McGonagall said louder, and Sirius stepped forward onto the bottom step. At once, the staircase began to spiral upwards. Sirius would have found this little convenience quite neat if he hadn't been dreading what he would meet at the top of the stairs so fully.

When they reached the top, the staircase halted, and the pair were faced with a large door. Professor McGonagall knocked twice.

"Come in, Minerva" came the light old voice of the headmaster. Sirius wasn't too pleased to be called to the headmaster's office only a few months into school, but given the fact that his mother was awaiting his arrival in the office as well, Sirius' guilt for upsetting Dumbledore was eclipsed.

McGonagall didn't hesitate to open the door. Sirius would have appreciated it if she had given him a good long count of ten – or ten-thousand – to prepare himself. Sirius did at least have time to force his expression to hide all traces of emotion. He looked utterly stoic, and he was grateful for the well-practiced ability.

The office was, for lack of a better word, spectacular. There were gadgets and gismos everywhere; though, he didn't have time to look around. His eyes were immediately drawn to the tall, thin, elegantly dressed woman with dark brown hair pinned up into a fancy bun. His mother was seated in an arm chair in front of Dumbledore's desk. Her back was to the door – to Sirius – and she did not turn to look at him and McGonagall as they entered. Professor Dumbledore was seated behind his desk. Sirius tried to quickly gauge the headmaster's level of anger. To his surprise, Dumbledore seemed quite peaceful and content.

Two more squashy armchairs appeared in front of Dumbledore's large wooden desk to the right of his mother.

"Hello, Professor McGonagall. Hello Sirius." Sirius was shocked to see that Dumbledore gave him a warm amused little smile as he greeted him. Sirius didn't dare smile back. He gave a small nod at Dumbledore. "Have a seat, if you please."

Sirius' chest constricted even tighter as Professor McGonagall took the seat at the far right, leaving the middle chair for him. Sirius sat down, not daring to even give his mother, who was now a mere foot beside him on his left, a rapid glance. He stared straight at the headmaster.

"Mrs. Black," Dumbledore said courteously, "this is Professor Minerva McGonagall. She is Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts, and she is Sirius' head of house here at Hogwarts. Minerva, this is our welcome guest, Walburga Black."

Sirius inhaled swiftly as his mother turned her young porcelain-like face to greet Professor McGonagall, looking straight past her son. She forced a false smile.

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Professor McGonagall, despite the unfortunate circumstances unto which our meeting has arisen."

"I am glad to meet you as well, Mrs. Black. I am always happy to meet my students' parents."

"Lovely" said Professor Dumbledore calmly. "Now then, would anyone like a lemon drop?" All three politely declined. Professor Dumbledore feigned a disappointed look. "I had hoped that at least one of you would fancy a lemon drop. For you see, I can hardly enjoy one at the present moment without now appearing rude…though I would very much like to indulge in the small treat. Sirius, would you be so kind?"

Sirius had thought that the look Dumbledore had given him when he'd lied and said politely that he didn't want one was oddly knowing. Now, here was Dumbledore plainly asking him to eat the candy for his sake so that it would be rude for Sirius to refuse. _How did he know I wanted one?_

Not seeing any other option, Sirius nodded. Dumbledore handed him the small light-yellow candy and then popped one into his own mouth. Both women seemed slightly perturbed by the headmaster's lack of formality. Sirius however, popped the candy into his mouth.

"To business then, shall we?" asked Dumbledore rather brightly. "As I understand it, Sirius found himself in a bit of a scuffle yesterday before the Quidditch match. He has been given a week's worth of detention…" Sirius could swear that the headmaster's eyes held humor in their twinkle – _he thinks it's funny that I get so many detentions?_ "…What can we do for you, Mrs. Black?" he added respectfully.

To his left, his straight-backed mother, pursed her red lips.

"Firstly, I would like to know why my son was afforded the opportunity to engage in such behavior. Attending Quidditch matches is a privilege, is it not? From what I've been informed from my dear nieces, Sirius' behavior over the past month and a half does not in any way warrant such a privilege. If his prior actions were not forewarning enough to his inability to follow set rules, then surely this instance has enlightened you as to the nature of his character."

Sirius could feel himself shrinking. He should have known she would do this. She would speak ill of him to anyone who would listen. She would insist upon his abhorrent deceitful nature until no one in their right mind would ever even give him the chance to show that he might be anything more than what she claimed him to be. He stared down at his hands in his lap. He wished the lemon drop had lasted longer.

"As such," his mother continued coolly, "I trust that at least now the proper restrictions will be implemented as a result of his revolting conduct. I want to know what each detention consists of, as well as what further disciplinary actions you plan to implement as a result of this latest disgusting display of barbarity. Lastly, after we have discussed the aforementioned matters, I would like a private word with my son."

As usual when anyone in his family spoke to a rather new acquaintance – himself included – his mother spoke with a commanding manner of absolute confidence and importance. Most people tended to need a few seconds to recover after one of his parents spoke to them in such a way, but Dumbledore did not. He merely gave Walburga Black a pensive look, and folded his hands in front of him atop his desk. Sirius did not look up.

"Thank you for your concern, Mrs. Black" Dumbledore said respectfully. "I am happy to discuss each of these important matters with you. I would like to reply to your first inquiry by saying that Hogwarts professors do not prohibit students from attending Quidditch matches; instead, professors prefer to carry out disciplinary actions through detentions. Detentions not only serve as a learning experience for the student, but also serve in assisting the professors and the school in some way. Detentions vary based on the student's offense and the professor's need. We find that doing tasks to correct behavior are more conducive to the further prevention of negative behavior than denying a student from attending a Quidditch match."

Dumbledore then went on to describe a few of the more common detention assignments. Sirius was grateful that Dumbledore had the sense to leave out any of the detentions that involved cleaning or anything else that his mother would deem menial. The discussion then turned to what further actions would be taken to ensure that Sirius abided by the rules at school. Dumbledore expressed his confidence that any such actions would be unnecessary, and he assured Walburga that if any such occasion were to arise, that she would be notified before any disciplinary action took place. To Sirius' surprise, his mother consented to this arrangement, ominously agreeing that she was certain that Sirius would obey the rules from now on.

The conversation had gone on for nearly twenty minutes. Sirius was very used to his mother's demanding standards and her consistency at never being quite satisfied. Yet, it seemed that eventually his mother must have wanted to lecture Sirius more than she wanted more in-depth answers from Dumbledore and McGonagall, because she tactfully communicated that she was now ready to have a word with her son.

"Of course" Dumbledore said graciously, "you may use my office in private. Professor McGonagall and I will step outside."

Sirius sat straight-backed in his chair waiting for what was surely to come. The door to the office was shut. To his left, his mother rose to her feet and stood in front of him in his chair. It was the first time she'd looked at him since he'd arrived at the office. She hadn't seen him since his father had taken him to the train nearly two months prior.

"Look at me" she said, her words icy. She had not missed him; he knew that for certain. He looked up at his mother. She was tall to begin with, but she was towering from this angle as he sat in the chair. "Where do I even begin?" Her voice was still low – perhaps because Dumbledore and McGonagall were somewhere not too far away. "You're nothing but a disappointment. After everything your father and I did to ensure you turned out right, **this** is how you repay us? By acting like an ungrateful piece of **filth**? You don't even have the affability to write to your own **mother**!"

"I did write to you, Mother" Sirius mumbled, and then cringed. _Why did I say that?_

"How dare you!?" she seethed, her voice still uncharacteristically low. "You wrote a letter of complaint! You wrote a letter that had **nothing** at all to do with anything I had written to you! You didn't even apologize for the embarrassment and shame that you are putting our family through by not being in Slytherin. How you had the audacity and imbecility to carp over the actions of your cousins as a result of you dishonoring our family, is beyond me. In my opinion, you're lucky you didn't receive far worse from them after the shame you've brought to them. Poor Bella is beside herself. But do **you** care for the woes you force upon others? Not at all!"

"I'm sorry, Mother."

"Not sorry enough! Look at how you are behaving at school! You'd think you'd want to make up for your miserable sorting, but no! Associating with blood-traitors and mudbloods! And rowing with your own relatives! **Why** did you engage in a fight with your cousin?"

Eleven years of experience told Sirius that she was not really asking. She did not want to hear his version of yesterday's debacle with Rabastan. She did not care. Still, he had to try.

"Rabastan said he – " he spoke as quickly as he could, but she interjected almost instantly.

"What?!" she yelled. Sirius' whole body shook and he cringed again.

"There's no excuse, Mother" Sirius said softly.

"You're damn right that there's no excuse for that kind of disgusting uncivilized brutish behavior. Fighting your cousin in a mudblooded show of barbarity! There is no excuse at all for such atrocious behavior."

Sirius' eyes clouded over as he resigned himself to suit-up for the long haul. If Dumbledore was really going to permit them to use his office until his mother was satisfied, it would be at least an hour before she was finished with him. He prepared himself to let her words wash over him.

 _I'm not here. I'm at the Eiffel Tower. The view is great._ They'd gone on holiday to Paris many times, and he could picture the view vividly in his mind.

"… Just wait until you hear what you're father has to say about this" her words pierced his thoughts and he shut his eyes.

 _I can see a muggle tour boat on the Seine River. They look happy. I'm happy. I'm not here._

"Is it not bad enough that you consistently waste my time? Now you've come here and you've decided to waste everyone else's time as well? Detention after detention! Selfish boy! I had hoped that you would have improved upon coming to school. Evidently, I was foolishly mistaken." Her steadily growing voice broke through his strong-willed daze once again. He was breathing heavily.

 _I'm at the Eiffel Tower. I'm at the Eiffel Tower. I'm not here. I'm at the Eiffel Tower._ The scene in his mind was being skewed by an image of his mother's furious glare.

"… The reason you got into a fist-fight is because you are an unintelligent, insolent, talentless little child who is utterly incapable of doing a single thing right. You remain a disobedient, selfish, worthless little brat. It's no wonder you didn't make Slytherin."

The door to the office burst open with a rather loud commotion. Both Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall re-entered the room. Sirius turned to look, and saw that both of them looked upset – angry, surprised, and perhaps sad.

"Forgive the intrusion," Dumbledore said, though his respectful courteous tone was gone; it was replaced with one much more formidable. "I must once again resume full use of my office, Mrs. Black. I do hope you understand."

"Understand?" said Professor McGonagall in an outraged sarcastic tone that Sirius had never heard her use before. "She does not seem to be the understanding type, Albus."

"How dare you" Walburga said loudly to McGonagall, her regality returning now that there were other adults present.

"Minerva" Dumbledore said sternly. "Please escort Sirius to his next lesson and let Professor Sprout know that he has a verifiable excuse for his tardiness on this occasion. I daresay she won't believe it if you do not tell her directly."

Sirius felt the weight of that statement. His word meant nothing to any of the professors. It was worthless.

McGonagall was quickly ushering him out of the office while Dumbledore spoke to his mother. Only when they were down the spiral staircase, down the hall, and had turned the corner did Professor McGonagall reach out and turn him gently around to face her via his left shoulder.

He did his best to look unaffected by the morning's events. He stared at her, waiting for her to speak, and wondering if perhaps she would take this opportunity to yell at him as well. _I'm a waste of her time._

"You are a highly intelligent, talented, spirited young man" she said firmly, though her expression was rather softer than usual.

 _Why are you saying that?_

"Despite your knack for trouble, I am proud to have you in my house."

 _Yeah, right._ Sirius could only stare back at her.

"Now then" she said, brushing nonexistent dust off of Sirius' shoulder, "let's be on our way to greenhouse one."


	11. 10: Secret Admirer & Nameless Assailant

**_Author's Note:_**

 ** _Thank you so much to everyone who left a review! I really appreciate hearing what you think!_**

 _ **.**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **.**_

* * *

 **(Remus Lupin)**

The week following the first Quidditch match of the season passed in a rapid blur. The homework load was beginning to seem endless; even Remus, who usually was ahead on his work, was falling slightly behind schedule. This was made worse by the fact that the full moon was mere days away, and Remus knew that he would surely fall further behind while he was recovering in the hospital wing.

Remus was spending much of his time wondering if he would be able to bring himself to ask James if he could borrow his class notes post full-moon. Peter's notes weren't entirely worth borrowing, seeing as they were often incomplete, and sometimes even erroneous. Sirius never took notes to begin with. James was the only one who he could ask with any hope of actually finding out what he'd missed. Yet, the thought of asking James, or any of them, for a favor seemed like far too much.

Remus was certainly much more comfortable around his three dorm-mates now than he used to be. He considered them his friends, and, at times, he even found that he'd unintentionally relax enough to speak and act freely around them. Remus always found those instances terrifying when he realized himself again. He'd play over every minute detail of their conversation and actions in his mind repeatedly. Had he given any indication to the fact that he was not entirely human? Had he said something that might make him seem unlikeable? Remus was consistently awaiting the moment when they would decide that he was not worthy of being their friend.

Thus, the idea of asking one of them to do something – even something as small as lending him their notes – seemed out of the question. He was thrilled that they tolerated him and accepted him; he wasn't going to push his luck and risk messing that up.

As a result, Remus had spent the majority of the week doing everything he could to stay on top of his ever-increasing workload. _I need to do well. Dumbledore let me come here. I can't waste it. I need to show him that I can do this._ The pressure Remus felt to prove himself to Professor Dumbledore, as well as to his father, was immense and ever-present in his mind. It was in stark contrast to his three dorm-mates, who did not seem to have anywhere near the drive that he had to do well academically.

Sirius, who had spent the week serving both pre-breakfast and post-classes detentions, hadn't looked at a textbook or a homework assignment all week; yet, he seemed completely relaxed about the fact that he had not done a single assignment all week. _He's going to get more detentions for not doing his work. The cycle continues_ , Remus thought sarcastically. It really was a silly system. How was anyone supposed to do work while serving detention from 7:00AM to 8:30AM, class from 9:00AM to 4:00PM, and detention again from 7:00PM to 11:00PM? By the time Sirius would come back to the dormitory, he was too exhausted to do anything except collapse onto his bed and fall asleep.

Peter always seemed to care about his work at the start of any attempt to do homework, but he quickly grew discouraged whenever anyone finished their work before he did. Thus, Remus noticed that Peter sometimes handed in his assignments incomplete so that he wouldn't have to work longer than whoever he was with. Remus noticed that the incomplete assignments directly correlated to when he did his work at the same time as James or Sirius. The past couple of days, Remus had purposely taken a long time on his assignments so that Peter wouldn't feel like he was completing them slowly, and so that Peter would finish his work. Remus understood that Peter just needed more confidence in his abilities; he wasn't stupid, he just didn't have everything come naturally to him the way certain other people had. Still, taking unnecessary extra time to complete his assignments wasn't something Remus could afford to do much longer with the moon fast approaching.

James took his schoolwork semi-seriously. He never studied a minute longer than he had to, and he didn't pay very close attention in lessons; yet, he always completed all of his assignments. James, like Remus, did not consider homework to be optional. True, James didn't take meticulous notes in class the way Remus always did, but he was the best option out of the three when it came to asking about what he'd miss.

Remus, Peter, James, and Sirius were seated by the fire in the common room. They'd just returned from supper in the Great Hall, and now they had happily claimed the couch in the Gryffindor common room. Upon seeing that it was empty when they'd first arrived, James had ran and launched himself onto it – lest the one other person in the common room, a sixth-year girl who looked thoroughly settled in her chair at a table, decided that she was going to suddenly switch to the couch.

The other three had joined James, and the four of them now sat rather squashed together on the couch with James on the far left, Sirius on the far right, and Remus between Sirius and Peter.

"I still think we ought to figure a way to get back at him" James said for the third or fourth time that evening.

 _We know you do, James. But Sirius said 'no'._ Remus wasn't sure why Sirius had changed his mind on getting back at Rabastan; it certainly didn't seem like him to not want revenge. Yet, Remus would be lying if he said that he wasn't relieved.

"What d'you suggest?" Peter asked calmly. James made a face at the ceiling.

"I don't know yet."

"Well…" Peter began, sounding rather as if he was still debating if he actually wanted to share what he was about to say, "…Once, when I was younger, these muggle boys I went to school with… er… teased me about how I look…"

James made a confused face, as if he couldn't possibly think of anything regarding Peter's appearance or conduct that one could make fun of. Peter turned to look at Remus cautiously. Remus tried to give him an encouraging look. Peter took a breath.

"…I went home, and I just wanted to get even with them so badly."

"What'd you do?" James cut in eagerly.

"Nothing" Peter replied, anticlimactically. James now looked even more confused.

 _Why'd you tell us this then?_ Remus wondered. There was silence for a few moments before Peter continued.

"But… if I had had three friends then to help me get back at them, I would have done something to make them feel sorry for what they did. And …even though I was too scared…" he looked down, blushing, "…to get back at them myself, I would have wanted friends to do it for me."

"You think Sir's scared?" James asked. All three of them halted, expecting Sirius to get angry, but no sound came. Remus and the others turned to look at Sirius. He was curled up against the high armrest, fast asleep. Peter let out a sigh of relief. "You think he's scared?" James repeated in a whisper. Peter gave a small shrug.

"I would be" Peter answered. "His cousin was there that… that night, right? Which means he's not a nice person, and he's got a lot of people on his side. …And he also probably doesn't want to risk getting caught and having another letter sent home."

 _That's a good point_ , Remus thought. To everyone who laughed at Peter for being slow in his studies, he certainly was quick when it came to perceiving other people.

"You think we should do it ourselves then? Without telling him?" James inquired, catching on. Peter gave a small shy grin.

"I think friends stand up for each other, even when one of them can't stand up for themselves" Peter explained.

Remus felt a mixture of pride for Peter and worry over what he was surely going to be dragged into. At the same time, James beamed at Peter, looking very pleased.

"I think that's brilliant" James agreed brightly. "We can do it while Sirius is in detention, that way there's no way anyone could think he had a part in it. What d'you think, Remus?"

 _Oh no._ That nervous feeling of panic he felt whenever one of them asked for his opinion returned in full force, especially since he knew that his real opinion did not match up with what they wanted to hear from him.

"I think we have to be careful about sneaking around Sirius" Remus replied truthfully. It wasn't really an answer to James' question, but at least it was honest.

"We'll do it tonight" James said quickly. "While he's in detention. That way there's no sneaking involved.

 _But Sirius clearly said to let it go._ Remus withheld from arguing, though he wished that Sirius would wake up and stop this plan from forming in James and Peter's minds. James and Peter planned out their revenge for the next twenty minutes or so while Remus sat listening reluctantly. He felt cornered. He knew that it was expected of him to aid in their revenge on Rabastan; yet, he didn't want to risk getting into trouble. _Dumbledore allowed me to come to school. I can't risk doing something wrong and having him revoke that privilege. It's not the same for me as it is for them._

"Hey!" James announced, cutting himself off mid-sentence. "Isn't it time for detention?" He was right, Remus realized. "Sirius!" James called loudly, and Sirius awoke with a start, nearly toppling off of the sofa, and hitting Remus with his arm in the process. Sirius took a second to realize where he was and then looked apologetically at Remus.

"Sorry, Remus" he muttered sincerely before shooting an accusatory glare over at James. James only smiled back.

"You're late for detention" James informed him almost cheerfully; he was clearly excited to carry out their plan. Sirius gave a dramatic sigh, as if the world was ending because he had detention.

"I think I'll skip."

"What?" Peter and Remus both asked in complete shock. The thought of intentionally skipping a detention was ludicrous in Remus' opinion. He would never have even thought to do such a thing. Yet, Sirius only shrugged.

"It's Slughorn. It's not even a real detention. I swear he just gave me detention so that he could force me to go to one of his stuffy parties. …No thank you. I get enough of those at home."

"But, won't you get more detentions for skipping detention?" Peter asked incredulously

"Beats going to his party" Sirius replied nonchalantly.

"Doubtful" James argued. "You should go."

"Since when are you a voice of responsibility, Potter?" Sirius asked, smirking. "I'd rather stay here with you lot."

"Well we'd rather you left," James answered back quickly, "that way you may actually have a night next week when we can go exploring with the cloak. If you don't go tonight, you likely won't be able to do anything all next week."

"But if I stay, we can do something tonight. That's even better."

The two of them argued back and forth for another five minutes before Sirius went upstairs to change into his dress robes, stubbornly consenting to James' logic but refusing to say it aloud. When he came back down, looking, in Remus' opinion, quite luxurious, he didn't even look over at them as he crossed the common room to the portrait hole.

"Stubborn git" James huffed with a frown.

* * *

 **(Sirius Black)**

Sirius made his way to the second floor rather than the dungeons. Horace Slughorn had informed him that he was to attend the party instead of serve a "regular detention" earlier that day. _As if this were preferable_ , Sirius thought sarcastically as he stalked down several staircases, walking as slowly as he possibly could. He had no desire to go to one of Slughorn's parties, nor did he feel flattered at being considered for the "Slug Club".

He gave a heavy sigh as he arrived. The entire corridor had been decorated, as if this were some sort of spectacular event, but Sirius was not impressed by the décor. He checked his watch. _Two hours and I'm leaving_ , he thought determinately; though, he technically was serving detention and thus couldn't really leave until he was released.

The sound of a stringed quartet could be heard as he drew closer to the door of the party room. The walls of the corridor seemed to almost glitter in silver and gold. As soon as Sirius got to the door, he was stopped by none other than Argus Filch.

"Name?" the man grunted at him. Sirius scoffed at Filch in disbelief.

"You don't recognize me?" Filch had single-handedly been the cause of numerous detentions after catching Sirius in some sort of wrongdoing, not to mention that Sirius had served many of his detentions under the supervision of the caretaker. If only his mother knew that a squib was making her son clean… Sirius wasn't ever going to tell her.

Filch narrowed his dark beady eyes at him, and then widened them with recognition.

"You'd best behave yourself" he grumbled. The man checked the written list he held in his hands. Sirius waited impatiently.

 _Bloody hell. It starts with a "B"; he can't have to read that far down._ Sure enough, he observed as the caretaker's eyes reached the end of the list and then flicked back up to the top to check for Sirius' name again. For a moment, Sirius hoped that Filch would turn him away; it'd be the perfect excuse to give to Slughorn for not attending.

"Argh, here you are." _No such luck._ Sirius rolled his eyes; he had no patience for Filch.

Sirius walked passed him into the party. The room was brightly lit with music playing. He was surprised to see that there were a few students dressed in matching attire, carrying silver trays, and offering people their contents.

"Sirius, m'boy!" came a boisterous voice as Slughorn rushed towards him. He clapped a hand on his shoulder and Sirius stiffened instinctually. "So glad you could make it."

 _You say that like I had a choice_ , Sirius thought bitterly.

"Make yourself at home then, Sirius. Shouldn't be too hard for you." Slughorn pointed to Bellatrix and Rodolphus, who stood talking to a couple of other Slytherins that Sirius didn't immediately recognize. "A few of your cousins are here already" he explained, as if Sirius could not already see this. Slughorn pointed to another area of the room, where Lucius Malfoy stood talking with two people that Sirius did not recognize. "You know Lucius, of course, don't you?"

A feeling of burning of hot adrenaline coursed through him as he looked over at Lucius Malfoy. His hand closed tightly around his wand in the pocket of his robes.

"Yes" Sirius nearly growled, forgetting to hide the fact that he loathed Lucius Malfoy now. Slughorn, who was just thrilled that Sirius was finally attending one of his events, didn't seem to catch on.

"Marvelous, marvelous" Slughorn commented in a distracted voice. "Come with me, m'boy. I want to introduce you to Persephone Tiltchoft."

Slughorn placed his other hand on Sirius' other shoulder and steered him forward. It took every bit of his willpower not to shove Slughorn off of him; he was not used to being piloted anywhere in such a way. He begrudgingly allowed himself to be directed over to a small group of individuals near the center of the room.

"Persephone," Slughorn said merrily to the group of five. "I'd love to introduce you to **Sirius Black**."

The feeling of being presented as if he were some sort of prize or rarity was unmistakable; Sirius didn't like it at all. Perhaps if he'd had a choice in regard to attending and in who to meet, he would have felt differently about being introduced in such a fashion; yet, being forced to attend under the guise of detention and then steered over to the group like he was a child, did not make him feel at all like the heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. His parents would have never introduced him in such a way – like he was gracing them with his presence. It surprised Sirius that he didn't like to be regarded as so important, yet he did not.

The tall woman, who must have been Persephone, looked down at him with piercing light blue eyes. Instinctively, Sirius offered her his hand in greeting, which she took with a warm smile. The introductions did not stop there; Professor Slughorn ushered him around to guest after guest – all of whom were past students of Slughorn – and Sirius had no choice but to make polite small talk with them. By the end of the first hour, he felt that he must have used the same sentences about how his classes were going at least ten times. Everyone asked him the same things; it was incredibly boring.

When he'd finally been sufficiently introduced – and shown off – to all of Slughorn's former-student guests, he was finally able to excuse himself to the buffet table. The long table was lined with hors d'oeuvres, which kept replenishing themselves whenever someone took from them. When he'd made his way down the table, he took his small plate and went to go stand against an empty wall to observe the attendees. There were students from every house, but most of them were at least fourth years, and Sirius had never spoken to any of them. The only younger students who seemed to have been invited were those who had prominent families. He spotted a couple of Gryffindors, who he might have chosen to go and talk to if it hadn't been for the fact that they were both heavily engaged in a conversation with one of Slughorn's former students. He didn't feel like forcing conversation again.

His eyes lingered over a group not far from him, which consisted of: Bellatrix, Rodolphus, Lucius, and three other Slytherins whom he did not know by name. He watched them with undisguised hatred as they conversed over things he could not hear from where he stood. Bellatrix caught sight of him and they made eye-contact. His father's words on the platform rose in his thoughts as she glowered at him with intense hatred.

 **.**

 _"I trust you two will help to keep an eye on him" his father had said to his two nieces._

 _"Of course, Uncle Orion" Bellatrix had said in that sickeningly sweet voice, which she loved to use by default. "I'll guard him with my life."_

 **.**

Bellatrix turned her head away from him with purposeful dismissal, intended to inflict pain. Sirius didn't know why she had succeeded; he had never really been able to stand her, and now he had no reason at all to want to associate with her – or any of them. Yet, to know that he wasn't welcome to mingle with his own relatives – who he'd known all his life, gone on vacations with, and laughed with – still bothered him somehow. He didn't like Bellatrix, but for her to write him off so completely was hurtful.

Earlier in the year, when she'd stop him in the halls to remind him of what a disgrace his sorting was, he'd despised her; but, he'd never for one second thought that she wouldn't eventually get past it. Even when he'd made goo explode all over her from the letter he'd sent, he had never imagined that she wouldn't move on from it. The prank had been harmless enough, and she had deserved it in his opinion. He was still the heir for their family, and they were still cousins who'd have to deal with each other's presence for the rest of their lives; thus, he had not envisioned a situation like this where he couldn't go over and speak to his own family when he knew no one else in the room. He had expected the controversy over his sorting to die down.

But, then she – all of them – had taken the growing rivalry to an entirely new level when they'd attacked him. It had not been a harmless goo ball prank, or a flippant insult in the corridor. It had been planned, calculated, and it had revealed to Sirius what they now thought of him. He didn't understand how everyone's opinions of him could change so rapidly and be so out of his control. There was no coming back from what they'd done; he had no intention of ever forgiving any of them. So what if his mother had taken their side against his in the matter? She hadn't been there; _she doesn't fully understand_ – at least that's what he kept telling himself.

 **.**

 _The four children ran along the sandy shore as fast as their legs could carry them. It was a race, and it had been Bellatrix's idea. The ocean waves were crashing to their right, and there were mountain-like dunes thirty feet to their left._

 _Their Uncle Alphard was supposed to be watching them for a few hours; neither set of parents would have ever permitted their children to go running along the beach, laughing wildly, and completely un-supervised. The beach was only a short distance from their Uncle's home; and if Alphard sat on his back balcony, he could still keep an eye on them. Alphard had told them that children needed time to just be children, and so he'd let them roam._

 _It had taken a while for the group of well-mannered children to relax, for once not under the scrutiny of any adults. Yet, they had eventually come to this, and they were now racing to the jetty. Bellatrix made it to the rocks first._

 _"First one to the end is the winner!" she called back at them, changing the rules of their game. Bellatrix had just turned twelve; she'd be starting her second year at Hogwarts after the summer ended. From somewhere behind him, the eight-year-old Sirius heard Narcissa shouting something about racing on the rocks being too dangerous, but her words were mostly lost on the wind. Besides, Sirius was in second place; he couldn't waste time thinking about getting hurt. He could see that Bellatrix was already a good ten feet out on the jetty._

 _Sirius was at the rocks now too. He didn't care that he was still in trousers and a collared shirt, which he was surely to ruin. Bellatrix was in a dress; he'd never hear the end of it if she beat him in a dress. The rocks were large and flat, though sharp in places. They were still dry this close to the shore, and it was quick enough nearly catching up to her. He grinned to himself._

She might be a faster runner, but I'm quicker on the rocks.

 _He could see Bellatrix turning her head back to check how much he was gaining on her. They were thirty feet out now, at least. Sirius took half a second to check how close Regulus and Narcissa were behind him. Narcissa was still practically on shore, since she appeared to be taking a good ten seconds per step as she decided exactly where she could place her bare foot on the less-than-clean rock. Regulus wasn't too far behind Sirius however. Sirius increased his pace, leaping from rock to rock as fast as he could._

 _By the time they were fifty feet out, the massive rocks were quite slippery. Ocean waves crashed over them, soaking his bare feet and the bottom of his pants. There were small barnacles on the rocks here as well, and Sirius tried to ignore the fact that they hurt his feet to step on them._

Narcissa will never make it out this far.

 _They were nearly at the end now. Bellatrix was no more than ten feet in front of him. There was a loud unmistakable scream of surprise: Regulus. Sirius spun around to see that Regulus had fallen and slipped when he'd reached the wet rocks. He was the only one in the group who had not thought to take his dress shoes off for the race; of course, he hadn't anticipated that the race would continue on to the rocks. Regulus was half in the water, clutching on to one of the rocks with both hands._

 _"Siri!" he cried out frantically. Sirius raced backward towards him a few steps and then halted._

 _"Bella!" Sirius called. "Time-out! I have to help Regulus!" If Bellatrix heard him, she didn't let on. Sirius stared after her a moment. He could still beat her. She'd slipped as well, though she was safely on the rocks. "Time-out, Bella!" he shouted again, but the wind was so loud._

 _"Sirius!" Regulus whined. He was a good twenty feet behind Sirius, whereas Bellatrix was no more than six feet in front of him, even now that he'd paused momentarily. The end of the jetty was no more than ten feet away._

She can hear me, _Sirius thought in frustration. If he could hear Regulus from that far away, then she could definitely hear him. He could even hear Narcissa, who would be starting her first year at Hogwarts in a couple months, as she screamed frantically, making her way towards Regulus._

 _Surely Narcissa could help him. Surely Regulus could hold on for the few extra seconds that it would take for Sirius to beat Bellatrix._

Merlin! What am I thinking? _Sirius took off towards Regulus as fast as he could. Sirius' eyes widened with fear as he saw his brother clutching on to the rock with all of his strength as the cold ocean waves crashed over him entirely. He reached down and grabbed Regulus' wrists, and he pulled him up back up onto the rocks. Regulus was entirely soaked. His clothes clung to him. He was coughing up seawater and shivering violently._

 _Narcissa was still screaming over to them from a good fifteen or twenty feet closer to shore, but they ignored her. Sirius rubbed his hands on the sides of Regulus' arms to try and warm him up a little. Sirius waited for his brother to speak first, not wanting to interrupt his coughing._

 _"I'm sorry" Regulus mumbled, looking overly apologetic for the situation. Sirius shook his head at him, dismissing the unneeded apology._

 _"Are you alright, Reg?"_

 _Regulus nodded._

 _"Y-Yes" he chattered. "F-Freezing c-cold."_

 _"Let's go back to the house. …Get you some new clothes."_

 _"D-Do y-you think Uncle Alphard w-will be very m-mad?" Regulus was always so nervous and fearful over anyone being upset with him._

 _"No" Sirius assured him firmly. Any other adult would have been mad at them, surely, but not Uncle Alphard. "And he won't tell Mum and Father either."_

 **.**

Sirius couldn't help but stare at the back of Bellatrix's wild dark hair from across the room. He didn't necessarily want to go over and talk to them per say, but he **should** have been able to. He should be able to join his own family at an event. He tried not to let it bother him, but his loathing for them wasn't making it as easy for him as it should have done; perhaps it was because he'd been raised that to stand on the outskirts of a party alone was unacceptably rude. He wished he could just stand over by them so that he didn't look so ill-mannered; he wouldn't even speak to them.

Sirius ate as slowly as he possibly could, dragging out his unspoken excuse that if he was eating it was alright to be standing alone. He wasn't a shy person; another evening he likely wouldn't have minded making conversation with a bunch of strangers for a few hours – he was certainly used to having to do so. This particular evening, however, he just felt exhausted. It'd been a very long week, and the only thing he wanted to do was go to sleep.

Sirius' eyes caught on Rabastan as he approached Rodolphus, Bellatrix, Lucius, and the others. It was apparent that he'd just arrived. Rabastan was striding over to them, but when he was around five feet from them, Rodolphus turned and shot him a warning glare. Rabastan halted in his tracks. Sirius wasn't surprised by the action, nor were any of the others in their little group. They'd all known Rodolphus long enough to know that he was always a bit of an eccentric prat. Sometimes he and Rabastan got on fine, but other times Rodolphus was all-together domineering and needlessly vindictive. It was a coin toss on what type of mood he'd be in.

 _Psychopathic prat._

Still, Sirius couldn't bring himself to feel sympathy for Rabastan as he changed course and went to the buffet table instead. Rabastan wasn't much better in Sirius' opinion. It was not like Rabastan had done anything to help him – or even to warn him. No; he'd been waiting there for Sirius, just like the others.

Rabastan wasn't alone for long; he had a lot of friends, which Sirius had realized over the past few months. By the time he reached the end of the buffet table, he'd been joined by three other people. It just made Sirius loath him even more. He gave a heavy sigh and looked at his watch for what must have been the twelfth time since he'd arrived.

 _Why's it only been three minutes?_ He had thought that it would have had to have been ten minutes at least since the last time he'd checked. _Stupid James. I hope he appreciates this._ He would have much rather just served a regular detention.

* * *

 **(Peter Pettigrew)**

Peter and James had not been able to stop laughing, as well as priding themselves on how clever they were, since coming back up to their dormitory. Remus, who had in fact been a large help in the overall success of the prank, seemed less willing to engage in self-praise over what they had done.

 _It's harmless enough_ , Peter told himself repeatedly. Their initial plan had evolved somewhat after they'd began, but Peter and James were positive that it had turned out brilliantly.

The three of them had waited until Sirius had left, and then James had ran upstairs to grab his invisibility cloak. He, James, and Remus had slowly made their way down to where Sirius had shown them the entrance to the Slytherin common room was located. Luckily enough, they had only a short while to wait under the cloak together before some unsuspecting third-year Slytherin had announced the password to the seemingly empty corridor.

They had planned to simply say the password themselves and be let in, but then it was Remus who had mentioned a flaw in James and Peter's plan: what if there were people in the common room who noticed that the door opened and no one came in? It was a fair point, seeing as they didn't want to raise any unneeded suspicion. Thus, they instead snuck in stealthily just an inch behind the next Slytherin to come along. It was a tight fit, but they'd managed it. Peter thought that a portion of his ankle might have come out from under the cloak in the process, but no one seemed to have noticed.

Once inside, they had taken a moment to observe the large ornate common room. It was lit with a greenish hue, and it had dark leather furniture. It did not at all have the cozy feeling that the Gryffindor common room held. Again, their plan was changed, though this time for the better. They had anticipated that it would take them a while to figure out which room was Rabastan's; yet, thanks to their fortunate timing, they saw Rabastan coming out of his dormitory. He was wearing dress robes; he was on his way to Slughorn's party and thus would not be back for an hour or more, at least.

They had needed to take a risk when they'd opened the door to his dormitory; someone could have been inside, and it could have ruined their plan entirely. But, there had not been anyone else in the room. James had whipped the cloak off of them, shot a locking spell at the door, and reminded them that they had to be out in fifteen minutes to be safe.

Each of them, even Remus, had gone straight to work carrying out their plan. Peter had been assigned some of the simpler tasks, like turning the walls fuchsia and strewing daisies – which James had conjured – across the floor. Remus had transformed the bedding of each of the beds from heavy green down to delicate white lace. James transformed the drapes similarly. As an added touch, James had even used the spell he'd learned when using the gold lettering to write "Flower Power" on the bathroom door – which they'd turned a bright shade of lavender.

They hadn't targeted solely Rabastan yet, which they had done purposely. As they had stared beaming at their handiwork, Remus – of all people – had spoken up with an addition to the idea. _Leave it to Remus to give a reasoning behind the prank_ , Peter had thought fondly, as Remus had suggested that they leave a note behind addressed to Rabastan.

"Well…" Remus had begun reluctantly, his guilt apparent. "Right now, if we leave it, they'll just think that a boy came in and pranked them. The spells will wear off and Rabastan won't really think much about it, probably. …But… if we leave a note saying that it was done for Rabastan… by a secret admirer..." he had trailed off then, too shy to continue. But, they understood the gist of what he had meant, and they had instantly thought it was genius.

So then they had very quickly searched the room for a bit of spare parchment, and a quill and ink, finding some in one of the night-table drawers. Remus had been out-voted and had thus been elected the scribe. His hand-writing was the neatest, and James and Peter had agreed that girls tended to have neat hand-writing. They'd addressed the letter to Rabastan, told him that they were his secret admirer, and then - on account of another stroke of revenge genius from Remus – asked for a reply. They'd told Rabastan to leave the reply letter behind the suit of armor at the top of the stairs on the fifth floor.

"He did say that one should always reply to one's letters" Remus had said, smirking, as he'd written the last part without dictation from James or Peter. James and Peter had burst out laughing, and Remus had had to quickly remind them that they were still inside of Slytherin and had to be as quiet as possible. They'd left the note, signed "Your Secret Admirer", on the pillow of Rabastan's bed.

Back in their dormitory, James was excitedly re-telling the highlights of their prank – as if they hadn't both been a part of it – for the third time. Neither one of them could believe the slyness that Remus had added to the prank. Even though Remus had seemed to contribute his ideas reluctantly, Peter could tell that he was still in good spirits for being able to help Sirius.

Sirius had seemed rather out-of-character ever since the Quidditch match. When he'd shown up at Herbology escorted by Professor McGonagall, they had all – especially James – pressed him to know what happened. But, Sirius had told them to "mind their own business", and he hadn't budged on the matter since. What had been even stranger was that he had not wanted to take part in any of the pranks that James had suggested in classes all week, nor had he talked back to any of the professors in class. It had been clear to them all that their friend was still upset; the only thing they could think of as the reason for this was his fight with his cousin. Thus, they had been determined to get back at Rabastan, even if Sirius wasn't.

Sirius didn't return to their dormitory until nearly eleven o'clock. Peter had a bit of a challenging time staying awake waiting for him, but he didn't want to risk being asleep when Sirius arrived back. James was so eager to fill him in on what they'd done that Peter didn't trust that he'd wake him up before rushing into recanting the prank to Sirius. When Sirius came back to the dormitory, he looked irritable and exhausted.

"Sirius!" James cheered, bouncing up and down on his bed as Sirius came in and shut the door.

"No" Sirius said flatly.

"'No' what?" James asked energetically. James always seemed to have endless energy and excitement.

"No. I don't want to talk to you" Sirius grumbled. "I'm going to sleep." Sirius loosened his tie and laid down on his bed, still fully clothed. He kicked off his shiny dress shoes and they fell to the floor with two loud claps.

"Not yet!" James announced, crossing over to Sirius' bed and plopping down on at the foot of it. Sirius groaned but otherwise didn't protest. "We need to tell you what we did tonight." Sirius didn't respond or open his eyes. "Are you listening?" James asked, reaching out a hand to shake his friend.

"Stop" Sirius yelled so suddenly that all three of them jumped. James looked frightened, because he didn't understand what he had done to deserve that kind of reaction. "…Sorry" Sirius muttered after a few seconds, slightly calmer. "I'm just tired, and I hated that party, and I've told you a **million** times to keep your hands to yourself."

James took a deep breath, visibly fighting to hold in his frustrate retort.

"Okay…" James said slowly at last. "Well, while you were at that party you hated, we were doing something very nice for you." Sirius perked up a little.

"You were?" he asked softly, trying to hide a now guilty forming grin.

"Yes" James replied curtly. " **But** , if you're too tired to hear about it now, I suppose we can wait 'til morning." He knew perfectly well that Sirius wasn't going to want to wait until morning now.

"No" Sirius said quickly, right on cue. "I can stay awake for a little while longer."

"That's what we thought" James said pretentiously.

James – with occasional chimes from Peter, and even less occasional corrections to accuracy from Remus – told Sirius what they had done. Sirius, who had sat up as well during James' lengthy recanting of their genius and skill, stared from one to the other in astonishment.

"That's…" Sirius commented in disbelief when James had finally finished telling him what they had done, "… Bloody genius." The other three smirked proudly. "I wish I could have seen it!" he yelled triumphantly.

* * *

 **(Remus Lupin)**

A few days had passed since the "bloody genius prank", and the October full moon was only a few short hours away. Remus had stayed in bed nearly all day, despite missing classes. His friends had offered to escort him to the hospital wing, but he had refused them, fearing that they would go looking for him there later, and he would not be there to be found. When it came to be an hour before his friends would be done with their last lesson for the day, he pulled himself out of bed and made his way slowly down to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey was there to greet him, warmly as always, and with a concerned look on her motherly face.

He spent the remainder of the evening in the small private room behind the matron's office. He was attempting to write his potions essay for Professor Slughorn, but he was not getting very far. At one point, as he drifted in and out of sleep, he felt sure he'd heard Sirius' voice asking Madam Pomfrey if he was there. At about a half hour before moonrise, Madam Pomfrey came to escort him to the willow. He felt ashamed to make her walk with him – a werewolf – to its monthly prison.

"I can go on my own, ma'am" he ventured. After lengthy convincing, he had finally convinced her to let him make the journey down alone. He didn't want to share his misery with anyone. Remus stealthily made his way to the tree, thankful that everyone must be at supper for there was no one around. He raised his wand and uttered the spell as Madam Pomfrey had instructed.

"Deprimo."

The small discrete knot at the base of the tree sunk inward. All at once the tree froze and he was able to enter its hidden passageway unnoticed. The tunnel was dark and cold, and it seemed much longer than he had remembered. Remus heaved the heavy trapdoor open and then locked it tightly behind him. He put his cloak and his clothes in the cupboard and curled up on the chair, shivering.

 _What will I tell them this time? Will they believe me when I say I went home? They'll want to know why. And they'll want to know about the bruises. They won't let it go a second time…_ And then the torturous tremors began to ripple through him, and he lost all ability to control his movements, and then everything was gone.

When he came to, the first thing he was aware of was the smell of blood. It was all too familiar to him. Secondly, he became aware of the pain. He managed to sit up, gasping in anguish at what he was sure were broken ribs. He wanted to get to his clothes before the matron arrived. He wanted what little dignity he could reclaim. Remus edged his way backwards on his heels and his hands to the cupboard, thankful that he had elected to use a floor one rather than a raised one. Each bit of movement was agony, but he took out the clothes with a fierce determination and thrust on his pants. He was just getting to the shirt when the trapdoor opened and Madam Pomfrey rushed in to help him. It was just in time too, for he was nearly about to pass out from the pain in his ribs. Then everything went dark again.

When Remus awoke this time, there was no smell of blood. He was warm, and he felt significantly better. He opened his eyes and saw that he was back in the little room. Madam Pomfrey was just walking in with a fresh dose of potion for him. She smiled at him kindly.

"How are you feeling, dear?"

"M-much better, Madam. Thank you. Thank you s-so" But she held out a hand to stop him.

"There is no need to thank me, you dear sweet boy. I must say though that you'd given me a bit of a scare when I arrived. You really shouldn't try to move until I've had a chance to heal you first."

"I'm sorry, Madam." Remus hung his head.

He felt guilty for giving her added grief, but he knew that he would still continue to do it in the future. He wanted his clothes on before she arrived, and he would be sure to have it that way from now on, even if it did cause temporary added pain. He was afforded very few dignities at the times of the full moon, but clothes would most certainly be one of them.

Remus rested for the remainder of the day. He was determined to go back that evening; he didn't want to fall behind on his classwork. Madam Pomfrey agreed that he could attend classes the next day as long as he stayed that night in the hospital wing, and since Remus wasn't looking forward to explaining his remaining bruises to his friends, he consented.

The next morning, Remus hurried, as best he could given his weakened state, to the dormitory to shower and get dressed while he knew the others would be at breakfast. He'd been gone just two days and two nights; surely they would believe he had been away visiting home. Remus stared into the bathroom mirror above the sink.

 _It looks as if I've taken a few blows from a bat. They're bound to ask questions. Think... I'll say I went home. I felt like visiting…no, that's not good enough. It was the middle of the week. And the bruises…how to explain those…?_

His head was spinning from the stress of it all. He had no more time to think; Charms would be starting soon, and he still had to get down to the proper floor. His body ached with soreness and fatigue; by the time he made it to Charms, the rest of the Gryffindors were already seated. He saw his usual seat beside Peter empty. Taking a deep breath, and squaring his shoulders, Remus walked to his chair in silence.

At once he felt a hand from behind him on his shoulder – James.

"Remus!" he whispered with enthusiasm. "Where were you?" Remus didn't dare turn around to face James and Sirius, for then they would see that his face was bruised from where the wolf had rammed into the walls of the house as it tried to escape.

"Visiting home" Remus whispered, praying that Flitwick would promptly begin the lesson so that at least he could have another hour's postponement of their questions.

"In the middle of the week?" Sirius asked.

"Why didn't you tell us you were leaving?" Peter whispered. But, at that moment, the head of Professor Flitwick did appear from behind his podium.

"Welcome, first years! I've got a nice lesson planned for today." Remus exhaled in relief. James' hand was still on his shoulder, and it gave him a tiny, yet excruciating, shake.

"Remus, why d'you go home?" James whispered.

"Talk later" Remus muttered, barely turning his head. James huffed a sigh and sat back, releasing his shoulder.

As soon as they cleared out into the hallway with the rest of the second year Gryffindors after Charms, his friends rounded on him. James had taken ahold of his forearm and had guided him to turn around and join them back by a suit of armor. Remus was nearly up against the wall, and he felt very uncomfortable. Not to mention the fact that his head was swimming, making him feel like he was going to collapse at any moment if he didn't sit down and rest soon.

"No" Sirius muttered as the color drained from his face. "Not again."

"Remus!" James gasped in shock. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine" Remus said, trying to sound firm, looking at each of his friends in turn.

"You don't look fine" Peter stated bluntly. "You look like you did the last time…the time you were attacked."

Remus could feel himself starting to tremble under the pressure to lie to his friends. _Tell them you went home. Tell them anything so that they don't put the dates of the full moons together and make a connection._

"I am though, Peter, really. Please…all of you. I went home to visit my parents."

"Why?" demanded Sirius, and Remus could sense his friend's quick temper rising fast. He had clenched fists and was clearly putting in a considerable effort to keep his voice level with Remus.

"My-My mother…" he thought on the spot, "…she's…ill. I help take care of her sometimes." All at once the some of the rage left Sirius' face, James pulled Remus into an unexpected hug, and Peter made an 'aww' sound sympathetically.

"Is she going to be okay?" James asked as he released him.

"I–I hope so."

"Did she call you home last minute? Was it urgent? That's why you didn't have time to tell us."

"Yes." _Thank you, James._ James pulled him into another embrace. Remus bit his tongue to keep from gasping.

"I'm sure she'll be okay, Remus" James comforted, his voice full of deep compassion for his friend.

"Alright, Miss. Potter, let the man breathe" Sirius said hotly. "That still doesn't explain the bruises. Who did that to you, Remus?" James had released him somewhat now, but he still had a hand firmly placed on each of Remus' shoulders. They were all looking expectantly at him now.

 _What to say?_ Remus silently cursed himself for not being able to think up lies faster.

"It's nothing. I'm fine. Just a stupid accident. It's embarrassing."

"I don't believe you" Sirius snapped.

"I don't feel like talking about it now. I'm tired" Remus said meekly, regretting the lame excuse as it left his mouth.

"I don't care" Sirius growled, "Tell us now."

But this harsh demand was too much for James' protective nature to listen to; he was quick to snap back at his friend for Remus' sake.

"Enough, Sirius. His mother's ill and he's been caring for her. If he's too tired and he doesn't want to say, then we're going to let him be, and that's the end of it."

"No, it's not. I said I wasn't going to let this happen again and it did. **Who** the bloody hell was it, Lupin?!" Sirius was furious. He came up next to Remus and slammed the side of a fist against the stone wall as he yelled again, "Tell me!"

Remus could feel the terror inside him growing. Sirius was mad at him this time, not just at whoever he thought had done it. Sirius was furious that, so he thought, Remus had let himself be attacked again rather than tell his friends who the attacker was. Even James seemed to be taken off guard by Sirius' rage. James released Remus and pointed a firm finger at his friend.

"Sirius, stop it" James said, his voice confident but still sounding a bit unnerved. Sirius glowered down at James.

"Stay out of it, James" Sirius snapped. "He doesn't need a sodding **hug**. He needs someone to go take care of the problem for him. Now **who** was it?" he asked as he spun his glare back to Remus. His left fist was still above him on the wall, and his right hand was now held out inches before Remus's face, as if he would very much like to choke the answer out of him.

There was silence between them.

"Why won't you tell us? Why are you protecting them?" Sirius hollered in exasperation, making Remus shudder.

"Sirius." James took Sirius' right hand and pulled it down away from Remus. "Don't be like this. Not to **Remus**." Sirius was staring down threateningly at Remus, but his expression was now gradually changing to overwhelming guilt and sorrow. He lowered his arms and took a few steps backward, shaking his head.

"Remus…" he gasped in a whisper. "Remus, I'm sorry." With that, Sirius took off down the corridor in the opposite direction of potions.

"That temper" James muttered to Remus and Peter. He looked back at Remus, who was just now daring to breathe again. Remus had felt sure that Sirius was going to punch him.

"It's going to get him into trouble" Peter said. James turned back to Remus now.

"Are you alright?" Remus nodded. "He's bang out of order. But he means well, Remus."

"He's violent and loud" Peter interjected. "…And scary."

"Don't be daft" James said, looking at Peter now. "He isn't scary. He's just angry. And he isn't violent; he didn't lay a finger or a wand on anyone."

* * *

 **(Sirius Black)**

Sirius was heading back up towards the dormitory. _How could I have done that? I nearly lost control. I nearly…_ But the thought of hurting Remus was too awful to contemplate. _I need to make up for this. I need to make sure I don't do that again. What's the matter with me? He's caring for his sick mother, and then he was attacked, and instead of being his friend I treat him like a liar. …Everyone lies._ Added a small voice in his head. _Everyone, even Remus, lies. You know that._ Sirius took a deep calming breath.

By the time he was back at the dormitory, his mind had wandered from Remus, to lies, to his family, to the almost daily reoccurring debate in his head: did blood status really matter at all. The more he allowed himself to reason with it, the more he found himself disagreeing with his family. Of course, he had never been one to particularly get along with his family, but to take an opposite viewpoint on this would go against their most fundamental beliefs. It couldn't be done lightly; more importantly, he wanted to know the truth. Did it matter, like they said, or did it not, as those at school seemed to think? Sirius wanted to ask someone who would know the answer, but he could think of no one. McGonagall had offered, but he didn't know how well he could trust her to be subjective. He'd asked James, of course, but James was very set in his ways based on what his parents had taught him; James wasn't ready to question such things for himself yet. Sirius could not rely on a biased source for the truth.

Still, the more he thought about it, the more he was convinced that perhaps the answer wasn't a simple 'yes' or 'no' response; the more time he spent dwelling on the subject, the more convinced he became that it was nothing more than opinion. Sirius wasn't sure if he liked that; opinions were much more detrimental than facts. Facts told him where he stood in the world; opinions differed by individual and left room for him to make mistakes. What was worse was that he had slowly been realizing that his own opinion on the matter was forming steadily whether he wanted it to or not. Try as he might, for he certainly did try to find a way to agree with how he'd been brought up, he simply could not find a logical reason why blood purity should affect one's value as a person. He had thought that perhaps there was a connection between blood status and the level of magical ability that one could achieve; but search as he did, he had not found anything in the library to support such a claim – in fact he had found many examples to the contrary.

He'd poured through countless books alone at the library over the past month and a half in his search for an answer. He didn't want to accept the realization that it was a matter of opinion unique to each individual. He knew all too well his feelings on the matter; and the way they contradicted everything he'd been told, and everything he'd heard growing up, made him feel sick.

Along with this uneasiness over forming his own social beliefs, he was beginning to realize that perhaps his family – and their friends – were not well-liked by others in the community. He had never thought of any of them as kind, but he had always just assumed that that was the way people were. The world was full of dislikeable people, and he had to look out for himself. But at school, he had met several decent likable people. The thought that his parents' high level of condescension and hatred for non-purebloods was a matter of opinion and choice rather than subject to fact, made Sirius begin to dislike them on a deeper level than he ever had before. He didn't understand how his family could choose to form such strong hateful opinions that weren't based on fact. The concept was entirely new to him, and it weighed heavily on his mind. The pride that had been instilled in him for being a member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black was waning, replaced swiftly by a feeling of shame for being so closely affiliated with people who were so condescending and hateful to others.

He lay on his bed pondering, until he drifted into an uneasy sleep. He didn't wale until heard the sound of his three dorm-mates coming back into the room.

"Remus, just borrow my copy" James was urging. "I've nearly got the thing memorized anyway. That way you'll know all the basics of the game, and you'll be ready to watch by the next match." _He must mean Quidditch through the Ages_.

Sirius sat up. It had been the kind of nap that had left him feeling too awake and alert for comfort.

"You missed a lot of classes" James told him, sounding disappointed.

"I'm sorry, Sirius" Remus said softly. "I took notes for you." His heart sank. _Please don't be sorry. It's my fault._

"Thank you. I wasn't expecting notes."

"It's the least I could do after making you so upset."

"No, Remus. It's not your fault. I shouldn't have acted like that. …Is your mum…is she okay?" _I do care…even if I didn't act like it._ Remus looked away, clearly uncomfortable.

"Remus doesn't want to talk about it" James warned, stepping up beside Remus protectively. Sirius couldn't deny that it hurt him to see James thinking he had to safeguard Remus from him. Sirius nodded through a grimace; he just wanted them to forget his outburst and move on.

"I'll respect that" Sirius said as earnestly as he could, though it did truly bother him to consent to letting the issue of Remus being attacked drop once more. Remus was looking positively devastated at the day's events, and he wouldn't meet his eyes despite Sirius' attempts.

Lunch was a somber affair. James, despite granting Remus the curtesy of a free pass on all questions, was clearly just as unsettled by the matter as Sirius was. James kept staring at Remus with a sympathetic expression on his face and when anyone would pass by their table, he'd stare at them intently as if scrutinizing whether or not they could be the culprit. Remus didn't say a word; he sat in his usual place beside Sirius and didn't look up from his mostly empty plate all meal. Peter was watching their friend very concerned as well, and he kept trying to brighten his mood by making comments like:

"Would you like to play a game of chess later, Remus? You're so good; I'm sure you'll win."

Peter was not always the most tactful person, but at least his heart was in the right place. Remus' spirits did not seem at all lifted by the smallest boy's valiant persistent efforts, nonetheless. Sirius sat rigid throughout the whole meal; he couldn't bring himself to look at Remus.

 _How could I let this have happened again? What did I miss?_

In addition to his concern for his sandy-haired friend, Sirius felt the guilt of his earlier behavior weighing down on him. He didn't want to be that person; it reminded him all too much of his mother. A shudder ran down his spine at the thought of himself bearing any personality trait similar to his insufferable domineering mother.

They did not attempt to pull any pranks in their classes that day at all. After lessons ended, Remus, Peter, and James went to the library, and Sirius went up to the dormitory to re-read the book he'd received from Andromeda and Ted once again. Dinner was equally as silent as lunch had been between the four of them, though again, Peter made persistent attempts to bring a small amount of joy back into their minds. Sirius was grateful for Peter's optimism. He gave Peter a small thankful smile, which Peter – who was very surprised to receive any kind of positive recognition from Sirius for a change – returned with a look of beaming admiration.

On their walk back up Gryffindor tower, Remus was moving very slowly and Sirius couldn't help but realize it was because he was in pain. He tried to hang back to walk with him, but James gave him a pointed look and said

"Go on. Remus and I will see you two there." With a last look at Remus, and hoping that James would be able to coax a little more information out of him in his own tender way, Sirius walked off towards the staircases with Peter.

As he walked, Sirius realized that he had never walked alone with Peter before. Other than occasional – borderline rare – brief occurrences when he and Peter would wind up in the dormitory together while someone else was in the bathroom, he had never really been alone with Peter at all. It had been fairly easy – in some ways - to develop friendships with James and Remus, who Sirius felt he could relate parts of himself to, but with Peter it had been more challenging. The small round-faced boy did not seem to be much like him at all. Yet, as they walked, Sirius felt comfortable, as if walking with a close friend.

 _He did do a good job at least trying to make Remus feel better today. Perhaps there's more to him than I initially gave him credit for. Maybe he's more than just a tag-a-long for James._

"I hope that James is able to find out who did this to Remus again" Peter said matter-of-factly as they climbed their second staircase. "It's awful to think that someone could do all that and just get away with it. I wish he'd tell the professors or the prefects at least." Sirius was slightly stunned; this was more words than Peter had dared to speak directly to him ever before.

"Me too. I don't know why someone would target him. He doesn't do anything to anybody."

"Well they got away with it the first time, didn't they? So if it's just someone who wants to be mean, then it makes sense that they'd pick the same person who let them get away with it, doesn't it?"

"Fair point. Who do you reckon it could be?"

"Dunno. I mean… at first I thought it was a student, but now I'm not so sure."

"Why?" Sirius asked.

"Well, it made sense that it would be a student at first." Peter spoke slowly, thinking out his words as he went. "Even after they attacked him the second time around, because some students would do that if they knew they could get away with it." Peter was frowning, and Sirius had the distinct impression that Peter was speaking from experience. Yet, Peter continued. "But, then I was thinking that it just doesn't make sense for Remus not to tell. The first time maybe, if he thought it was a one-time thing. But now that it's happened again, don't you think he'd want to tell so that someone could stop it? So then I thought, maybe he thinks it won't do any good to tell."

 _Yeah, I know that feeling._ Peter continued.

"I suppose a student could have threatened him with something if he told, but Remus isn't stupid. He's clever. So then I thought maybe it wasn't a student. …Maybe it was a professor."

"A professor?" Sirius asked in shock. "But Remus doesn't upset any of the professors. I could see if it was James or something, but why would any of them have it out for Remus? Besides, I can't think of any professor who would do that. And they'd used magic, wouldn't they? It looks like he got in a muggle fight."

Peter shrugged.

"Just a thought. Professors have more influence than students, so maybe they threatened to fail him or something if he tells."

Sirius understood the theory, but he couldn't imagine any of their professors doing such a thing to Remus. They walked in silence for a while longer until they reached the portrait hole. Once up in the dormitory, Peter began to unpack his book bag.

"Thanks for trying to cheer him up" Sirius said from his own bed.

"That's what friends are for, isn't it? To help each other."

Sirius ginned; he was slowly beginning to see Peter as more than James' tag-a-long, and more like a person worth actually getting to know.

"Yeah."


	12. Chapter 11: Halloween

**(James Potter)**

The 31st of October had finally arrived, bringing with it crisp air and a heavy scent of fallen leaves. As was nearly always the case in their dormitory, James woke before everyone else. Excitement over the holiday bubbling in his stomach, he did his best to refrain from waking any of his new friends up quite so early, and he instead chose to hop into a quick shower. Once alone in the bathroom however, he seemed to forget that he had to be quiet, and he sang loudly as he showered and dressed. James had always loved Halloween. His parents had always allowed him to choose his own costume, sometimes even giving in and letting him choose multiple costumes, which he then switched between throughout the evening.

This year, however, he did not have costume. He hadn't really thought enough ahead to bring one with him. _I suppose I could still come up with something though._ He had always considered himself rather resourceful and creative. _Now that I'm at Hogwarts, this is going to be the best Halloween ever!_

When he exited the bathroom, he was delighted to find that his three dorm-mates were already awake. Peter was already dressed, and shot him a smile as he James re-entered their bedroom. Remus was still in bed, looking tired with messy hair. Out of seemingly nowhere, a fluffy pillow came hurtling through the air from his left and his James in the side of the head.

"Hey!" James laughed, scooping the pillow up off of the floor and chucking it back at Sirius, who was kneeling on his bed. Sirius avoided the lackluster counter-throw easily, and the pillow landed on the floor between Sirius and Remus' beds.

"D'you know the worst sound to wake up to in the morning is?" Sirius asked him, though he was smirking good-naturedly. Knowing what was coming, James merely made a face at his friend and ignored him. "You see, I thought it was your voice shouting for us to wake up" Sirius continued as James crossed over to his own bed and began packing his book-bag. "But, I was sadly mistaken. It's still your voice, mind you, but it's a million times worse when you try to sing."

" Oh, sod off" James chuckled. "It's Halloween. Or don't you sing on Halloween?"

Sirius gaped at him open-mouthed for a moment before shaking his head and laughing. Even Peter laughed. _What's so funny?_

"I can't even" Sirius said at last, and he went into the bathroom and shut the door.

"Pete?" James asked, feeling slightly self-conscious now. People usually had a way of making him feel immature, and that always ended up leaving him feeling uncomfortable.

"You know how he is" Peter responded.

"But you laughed too."

"Sorry." He looked sincere. "You're singing was pretty funny, James."

James wasn't surprised that his friends weren't nearly as enthusiastic about the holiday as he was. None of them ever had quite the same level of enthusiasm as he did about anything. When they made it to the Great Hall however, he was pleased to see that some of the students had elected to dress up, even if his friends hadn't done so. _At least some people have the proper Halloween spirit._

James looked across from him at Remus, assessing to see if he was alright, as was slowly becoming habit for the three of them now. James hadn't been able to get much more at all out of Remus in regard to who had attacked him. The truth was that his friend had seemed so distraught from him bringing it up and asking as they'd left the feast that past evening, that James had agreed reluctantly to let it go once more. He seemed alright, though he didn't quite look it. He was very bruised, even on his face, and he kept his head down mostly to avoid any stares from people looking at him. Just that morning, on their way to breakfast, Sirius had had to threaten to hex a second year Slytherin who wouldn't stop sneering rudely at a mortified Remus.

Beside James, Peter was munching away at his sugary breakfast in a carefree sort of way. Peter was by far the cheeriest of their little group after James – a fact that James was grateful for daily, for it could get gloomy sometimes without anyone else in their dormitory being too cheery besides himself. Remus was never cheery; he was always subdued. Sirius was only cheerful if he was causing mischief, and otherwise acted as if he found James' elated moods to be childish. Even that morning, before going down to breakfast, when James had asked Sirius what he'd be dressing up as later, Sirius had looked at him as if he was a ridiculous child and said "Why would I ever dress up?". _Because it's bloody Halloween. Blimey. No singing and no costumes. What the bloody hell do these people do for fun?_

The swooshing of many strong feathered wings could be heard entering the Great Hall. James' parents' owl flew right down to him, carrying a gift box of what he knew would be Halloween goodies. At the same time, Sirius' parents' owl delivered a large black-enveloped letter in front of him. Sirius rolled his eyes and tucked it into his robes unopened before smirking at James.

"The care package they sent you two days ago wasn't enough?" Sirius asked. He was grinning, but he didn't quite succeed in hiding his 'you're-so-spoiled' undertone. Still, since the incident with Sirius' cousins, James had learned to let Sirius' jealously about his family roll off of him. In turn, Sirius had also seemed to cut back on his comments ever since James had rallied the school to take his side. They still occurred, but they were less frequent, and were overall more good-humored than jibing.

James merely shrugged. _They're awesome, what else can I say? Besides, it's a_ _ **holiday**_ _._ He couldn't really imagine not getting at least a little something on a holiday; besides, he wasn't the only person in the hall to have received a Halloween care package. James opened up his gift. He smiled broadly when he saw the neatly packed contents. On the very top was a small piece of parchment that read:

 _James,_

 _Happy Halloween!_

 _So Much Love,_

 _Mum & Dad_

Underneath the small card was a package of compactly packed assorted candy. Beneath the candy was a pair of Halloween-themed socks – pumpkin orange with little black bats all over them. When he lifted out the socks, he could see what looked to be a newly published Quidditch book with statistics and facts.

"Are those Halloween socks?" Carina asked from Sirius' left side; Remus was on his right.

"Yes" James said assertively, tensing up a little. _Don't you dare make fun of them._

Ever since she'd called his lion pajamas "adorable" in the common room last week, he had been on his guard. He'd refused to wear any of his own pajamas out of the dormitory for three days, and had instead needed to borrow Sirius' extras to visit the common room – and they hadn't fit him properly. Peter had offered his as well, but Sirius had remarked that James would be better off going down in the nude than in Peter's spare foot pajamas – a comment that made Peter flush scarlet.

"Cute" she replied, though James was fairly certain that she was just being polite and that she was refraining from speaking her mind due to his guarded reaction to her question.

"I like them" Lily said from beside James. He was grateful for her comment; she, at least, sounded like she actually meant it. "I've got a few pairs of Halloween socks at home, but I didn't pack any."

James gave her a grateful smile.

"What a shame" Anne muttered sarcastically under her breath. Anne was sitting on Carina's other side. James gawked at her rudeness and was about to retort, but Lily beat him to it.

"Yes, it is a shame, Anne" Lily said coolly. "But, at least I didn't forget to pack socks entirely and have to have them all mailed to me."

Anne flushed. James and Peter laughed.

"You forgot to pack socks?" James asked.

"I had a lot on my mind" Anne replied hotly, though she looked embarrassed. She shot Lily an upset look and then turned to talk to the other side of the table.

"Who knew socks were such a controversial subject for Gryffindors, yeah?" Sirius joked. "More importantly, who's in for a stroll in the Forbidden Forest tonight?"

James shot his friend a shocked but thrilled look.

"Are you serious?" James blurted out of reflex. Then he rolled his eyes immediately, knowing that Sirius would make a joke of it as always. _I have to get accustomed to never using the word 'serious' again._

"Good eye, mate. Glad you could still figure out it was me through my Halloween costume." Even Remus laughed with them at that one, and it was hard to get him to laugh. "Yes" he continued when they'd quieted. "It's Halloween after all, so we might as well take our exploring up a notch. Don't you think?"

"But the forest is dangerous" Peter said nervously.

"I'm in" James said quickly. He'd been wondering about what was in that forest for weeks now, and Sirius hadn't been keen on pulling any pranks ever since the incident with his cousin at the Quidditch pitch. _Finally, he's back to normal!_ He turned to Peter. "Come on, Peter. It'll be fun."

He knew Peter wouldn't say 'no' to him. Peter wore an unsettled expression, but he nodded in consent.

"Remus?" Sirius asked. Remus stared back at him with wary brown eyes.

"I just don't want to get caught" Remus mumbled as if he were afraid to even speak about breaking the rules within fifty feet of a professor.

"We won't get caught" Sirius said confidently. Lily laughed.

"You always get caught, Black." Sirius gave her a devilish grin.

"Those are only the times you know about, Evans. You don't know about all the things I've done and haven't gotten caught for." He was smirking, clearly quite proud of himself. It was true. He and James had both done quite a lot of things that they hadn't gotten caught for; of course, Lily didn't know about his invisibility cloak.

She raised her eyebrows at him, but grinned.

"It's true" James added. "It's almost like we can be invisible when we want to be." Sirius and Peter burst out laughing.

"Alright then," Lily said, "I'll go."

"Yes!" James cheered. "All right, Evans! I wasn't expecting **you** to say yes."

"Just because I follow the rules doesn't mean that I can't sometimes break them…on rare occasion" Lily replied.

"I'm in too" Carina said, looking every bit as devious as Sirius with her intentions.

"Remus?" Sirius asked again. "…Look, if we get caught, you can tell them I dragged you out there against your will. I'll plead guilty." He was giving Remus his own version of what James called his own 'you-can't-say-no-to-this-face' look.

Remus gave a heavy sigh. Unlike Peter, Remus wasn't worried about the forest; he was only worried about getting in trouble with school. Remus shot a weary look up at the head table. Sirius shifted to block Remus' view of the professors with his own pleading face. Remus gave a heavy sigh.

"Fine" Remus muttered in a blatantly reluctant manner.

"Yes!" Sirius shouted triumphantly. Then he turned back to face the group. He spoke low. "Now, let's lay out a plan of escape."

* * *

 **(Peter Pettigrew)**

Peter was not looking forward to their Halloween escapade. Yes, he was curious about what was in the forest. Yes, he was even eager to venture into it. But, what he was not happy about was the manner in which their little adventure would be taking place – midnight on Halloween. It gave him shivers just thinking about it. It just wasn't smart to push one's luck like that. Still, he wasn't about to be the coward of the group.

 _I'm a Gryffindor. That means I'm brave._ He kept telling himself that, but the uncomfortable butterflies in his stomach weren't really subsiding in the slightest.

"Don't fall asleep!" James reached over from his own bed and hit him with a pillow.

"I'm not" he whined. According to the plan they'd concocted at breakfast, they were to wait until nearly midnight to start their 'adventure'. Peter had protested that waiting until midnight would do nothing but make the forest seem scarier, and Remus had brought up that going right after classes while it was still light out would be safer, but they had been overruled.

Sometimes Peter wondered if Gryffindor was the right house for him; then again, he was agreeing to go along too, despite the risks, so maybe the hat knew what it was doing.

"What were you doing with your eyes closed then, hmm?" James asked through a playful grin.

"Just resting" Peter replied, sticking his tongue out at his friend. James laughed.

"Yeah okay" he said disbelievingly. Sometimes it still amazed Peter how quickly he and James had become friends. Peter had always had a bit of a rough go fitting in with people, and he couldn't understand how someone like James would want to include him in everything.

"What do you suspect we'll meet in the forest?" Lily asked from atop Remus' trunk. She had made it quite clear that, of the four of them, Remus was by far the one she found the most tolerable. In fact, Peter was pretty positive that the only reason she was coming along with them was because she genuinely wanted to see what was inside the forest. Carina hung out with them occasionally, so he understood why she was there, but Carina and Lily were not particularly close.

"There're supposed to be a lot of centaurs in the Forbidden Forest" Carina replied. She was lounging sideways on Sirius' bed, with her chin propped up in her hands and her legs off the bed. Sirius was seated on the floor leaning up against his trunk. He'd offered Carina a seat on his bed, and gotten off of it himself, when she'd arrived. Why they couldn't both sit on it, Peter didn't understand.

"I hope we come across some clabberts" Peter chimed in. He'd wanted to see the tree-dwelling creatures that swung from branch to branch ever since he had first heard about them from his father.

"Oo, that would be cool!" James agreed enthusiastically. James turned his attention to Lily. "Clabberts are-" but she cut him off with a cool glare.

"I know what clabberts are, thank you very much." Peter didn't understand why she sounded so offended. _He was only trying to be helpful. She's a muggleborn. It was safe to think she wouldn't know what clabberts are… though, I guess not._

"Okay then" James answered, rolling his eyes in Peter's direction. Peter shot him a 'just let it go' grin.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, Potter" Lily snapped. "Do you know what a fish is?"

"…Er…" James looked at her, completely bewildered, "…What?"

"A fish. Do you know what a fish is?"

"…Yeah?" James answered hesitantly.

"And, is it safe to assume that you know what a dog is? And a zebra? And a cardinal?" Her tone wasn't exactly angry, just stern – it reminded Peter of his mother when she wanted to prove her point. From the way James was beginning to lean away from her, despite the fact that they were already on opposite sides of the room, it was safe to assume that her demeanor reminded James of such a thing too.

James' eyes darted to Sirius for guidance, but he looked just as clueless as to what Lily was getting at as James did.

"…And all of the other ' **muggle** ' animals?" Lily continued when James hadn't responded.

"Well… yeah" James answered, finally catching on, "but that's different."

"No it's not. I'm a part of this world too. I know what different creatures are; I'm not stupid. I don't appreciate you, and half the school, just assuming that I don't know things because I'm muggleborn."

James gaped at her, looking completely unsure of how to respond. Truthfully, he was probably the one who'd stick up for muggleborns the most out of all of them when given the opportunity; but, Lily didn't know him very well and thus had no way of knowing that. James opened his mouth, but no words came out so he merely shut it again.

"He was just trying to be nice" Sirius cut in rather hotly to stick up for James when it became clear that James wasn't going to reply. Lily turned her bright green eyes on Sirius.

"I'm not mad" she explained, caching on to Sirius' tone. Though, she still sounded a little put-off in Peter's opinion. "I'm just saying that people shouldn't assume that muggleborns don't know things. I live at this school, the same as you."

"If you talked to James for more than half a minute, you'd know that he –" Sirius snapped, his expression growing darker. But, James cut him off, knowing what could come if Sirius didn't calm down. It would be all too reflexive for Sirius to just shoot out some well-known insults towards muggleborns out of anger that he couldn't take back, and James wanted to prevent that.

"It's okay, Sirius" James said quickly. "It's fine. Evans, I'm sorry that I offended you." It was unlike James to apologize so readily, and Peter was fairly certain that he was only doing so in order to diffuse the situation as quickly as possible. Normally, he was far too stubborn to just apologize; he nearly always fought his point.

"Thank you, Potter" Lily said with a genuine smile. There was a rather awkward silence after that.

"So…" Peter muttered after a good minute, "…the forest…" He just wanted to break the tension. His intentions were evident, and James and Lily both chuckled. Yet, it did the trick, and cheerier conversation resumed.

They talked for another ten minutes or so about what they hoped to see in the Forbidden Forest, and how excited they were. Though, Sirius remained silent. Peter looked over at him; usually Sirius loved to be the center of attention – always chiming in charismatically or playing up the dramatics of a situation and making them laugh. Peter could tell instantly that his friend was fuming. He was glaring daggers into the floor, his expression furious.

 _Oh no._ He'd clearly worked himself up over a misunderstanding; his newfound loyalty to James making him feel like he had to defend him from Lily's accusation. It was ironic, Peter thought, that Sirius should get upset over Lily accusing James of thinking muggleborns were not equal to others. Perhaps it was simply that Sirius knew that James cared so much on the matter, and that he likely had been hurt by any suggestion contrary to that fact.

"Carina," Sirius said loudly, interrupting Lily mid-sentence. "What're your thoughts on using portkeys?" The room had gone silent. Sirius continued in a blatantly aloof voice. "I read in the Prophet last year that The Department of International Magical Cooperation banned witches and wizards from using portkeys to attend the International Confederation of Wizards on account of the fact that it's considered a less-secure means of travel than using the floo or apparating. But then there was a whole debacle over the fact that the Supreme Mugwump refused to apparate due to a childhood accident were he was splinched terribly. So, when he arrived, he was covered in soot, and coughed through nearly the entire conference."

The room was staring at him. It was obvious what he had meant to do in order to prove his point to Lily that she did not know everything about the wizarding world. Carina looked down at him in shock, debating which side to take in her response. But, then she smirked and replied.

"Personally, I think anyone who finds the floo network more appropriate for high-security gatherings than portkeys to be a fool." Then she flicked her gaze up towards Lily and gave a falsely innocent smirk. "What's your opinion, Lily?"

Lily stared at Carina with a mixture of shock, anger, and hurt on her face. Peter looked over at James, who had smiled unintentionally and then quickly covered his mouth with his hand to try and hide it. To everyone's surprise, it was Remus who spoke up, sounding uncharacteristically firm and – to everyone's complete shock - sarcastic, with his words just as intentionally random as Sirius'.

"While I didn't read the newspaper like Sirius, I did go to a huge carnival with my Mum last year. When I was on the Ferris Wheel, I got stopped right at the top for a good five minutes, and I thought to myself, would I rather ride on the orbiter or the pirate ship next. I think it was looking up at the stars for so long up there that made me choose the orbiter. And then we went home in our car, because really that's the best way to travel. Don't you think, Lily?"

Lily beamed at Remus as the rest of them gaped at his completely uncharacteristic audacity. His quick-witted answer had been quite clever – mentioning things that he knew the others wouldn't know about, just as Sirius had done to Lily, and then favoring a muggle means of transportation that he knew no one in the room besides he and Lily had likely ever used. He'd even thoughtfully set up his question so that Lily could be the one to drive it back at the others.

"Yes, Remus, I do prefer to travel by car. It's so much more tranquil than any of the other means of travel. Don't you agree, Carina?"

Despite the utter shock that Peter, Sirius, and James were experiencing at witnessing Remus speak in such an uncharacteristic way, Carina – who knew Remus less than they did – was relatively un-phased. She actually gave a little chuckle and smirked.

"Touché" she laughed appreciatively. Peter stole a glance at Sirius, who's expression was now entirely unreadable.

"I think it's close enough to midnight that we can go now" Peter put forth hopefully. He wasn't sure how much longer Sirius and Lily would be able to sit in the same room peacefully. To his relief, James shot him a very grateful sideways look and nodded.

"I agree" James announced, standing up.

The rest of them followed suit and then filed out of the room with James in the lead. Peter was second to last, and as he reached the doorway behind Lily, he felt Sirius grab his arm lightly. He turned back to look at him; Sirius didn't usually talk to him unless it was in a group setting – though, the other night, as they had walked back up to the common room together, Peter had thought that it had brought them a little closer. Now, Sirius was giving him a look of uncertainty mixed with lingering anger towards Lily.

"Remus?" Sirius asked with a tone that clearly said 'can you believe he just actually asserted himself?'.

Peter wasn't sure what to say; he had been just as surprised as they all were over Remus' sudden display of boldness. Peter gave a small shrug and shook his head slowly. Sirius looked more uncertain than Peter had ever seen him yet.

"I was just sticking up for James" Sirius told him, almost defensively.

 _Why are you telling me?_

"I know" Peter replied after a moment's pause; his words came out almost as a question. _Sirius, don't roll your eyes with impatience over the fact that I can't read your mind._

"Was he right?" Sirius asked with dramatic exasperation, as if he had already asked Peter that question ten times and Peter had just not answered him.

"Er…" Peter mumbled in surprise, "…I-I don't know." The truth was that he did know, at least as far as his own opinion went, but he wasn't about to tell Sirius that he'd been a jerk and that Remus had been right in his way of telling him off. Sirius made a rather condescending face at Peter and walked past him out the door. Peter stood gaping after him for a moment, still confused over why Sirius was frustrated with him.

* * *

 **(James Potter)**

"Look! Fairies!" Lily whispered happily, pointing to a group of miniature humanoid figures hovering in the air about twenty feet ahead of them. James gasped in awe with the rest of them.

"Let's get closer then" James muttered excitedly. They hadn't come upon much in the forest so far, and they'd been wandering for nearly an hour. Despite their hilarious encounter with the Jarvey, a ferret-like creature that spit out numerous impolite phrases at them – making Sirius, Peter, and James laugh quite hysterically - , they hadn't come across any creature that James would classify as cool or mysterious.

The six first-years crept slowly in the direction of the fairies, careful not to make too much noise and scare them away. _It's strange that they'd let us get this close_ , James mused as they neared within three feet of the twenty or so hovering beings. Suddenly Lily let out a sharp gasp and halted in her tracks.

"What is it?" Carina asked her.

"Those aren't faires" Lily breathed, sounding scared. "…They're doxies!"

James felt a stab of fear as, as if on cue, the group of winged creatures turned on them, baring double rows of sharp pointed teeth. Their thick shiny wings began to beat at an alarmed rate, creating a buzzing sound that filled the air around them. James had a clear view of them now. Each was covered in black hair and had four legs and four arms in addition to two curved wings.

"W-What d'we do?" Peter stuttered in fear.

"Back away slowly" Lily answered for the group, almost in a whisper. James and the others obeyed without question. Each crunch of the sticks and leaves beneath their feet seemed like an avalanche of sound. They'd only made it a few steps before the doxies rose another twenty feet into the air and then swarmed on them from above. Everyone screamed and took off running in what appeared to be the clearest most tree-free route away from the area.

James was at least twenty feet away from his nearest companion when he stopped short at the sound of a loud high-pitched scream. He looked around frantically in the dark forest. It was hard to see much in front of him at all.

"Lumos" he muttered, and then he turned in a slow circle to take in his surroundings. He couldn't see much of anything, but he had the surest feeling that something was very near to him – something large. "Ugh!" James let out a gasp as something large and heavy knocked into him from behind and caused him to fall forward onto the damp leaf-covered forest floor. His glasses had gone flying off of his face by the force of the impact and the fall. James spun around quickly, trying to see what had hit him, but it was in vain. He squinted in near total darkness. The trees overhead were so tall and dense that hardly any starlight shown through.

In the distance, somewhere to his right, he could hear Lily scream again. Somewhere to his left, he could hear Sirius shouting "Remus! Run!". Everywhere around him he could hear quick thumps and the rustling of leaves being swished across the ground.

 _Get up, Potter!_ He frantically rose to his feet, heart pounding in his chest. He wanted to look for his glasses but knew that it would be no use. _Summoning charm._ _What is it? Why do they always have to use nonverbal magic?_ He silently scolded himself for never asking his parents how to do a simple summoning charm. He'd have to leave the glasses behind.

He wasn't sure what to do. Yell for help? Or would that give away his location to whatever was lurking in the trees?

"Sirius" he whispered barely audibly, afraid to draw too much attention to himself. "Sirius" he said again, this time slightly louder. "I can't see." James had never felt so vulnerable in his life. What in the world had they been thinking? If only one of them would make noise again, then at least he could follow the sound toward them. He held up his wand, and re-muttered "lumos". It did little good. "Lumos solem." At once, the world around him came back into blurry view; his vision was still impaired, but the light did wonders for him comparative to the pitch blackness.

James' mouth dropped open in a silent scream as he saw that he was surrounded, even from above, by massive spiders. He was paralyzed with shock and fear. He scanned around desperately, searching for any blurry shape of one of his friends. He was certain that they weren't amongst the spiders that were closing in on him. He had nowhere to go for escape. _Think. Think._ He knew a spell for water, but it wasn't as if he could drown these looming things. _Fire! Incendio!_

"Incendio!" James shouted, pointing his wand at a large group of spiders directly in front of him. A stream of orange fire erupted from his wand and collided with the spiders. The ground shook beneath him as they stumbled furiously backward, screeching in a way that James had never known spiders could sound. He wasted no time casting more fire spells at the spiders who approached him. Mere minutes passed as he defended himself the best he could, but it felt like hours. He knew that he wouldn't be able to keep them all at bay before he reached the point of exhaustion. Even with his best effort, more kept coming, and the radius between him and the spiders was steadily decreasing.

"Stop!" came a booming voice. James gasped and spun around, inhaling a incredible amount of smoke. He coughed and gasped for air, and the last thing he noticed as he hit the ground was the feeling of his glasses crunching beneath him before he fell unconscious.

When James awoke, he nearly fell six feet downward as he panicked, taking in his new surroundings. He was out of the forest now, back on the Hogwarts grounds. The dark sky loomed above, suddenly less ominous than it had appeared when he was in the forest. Two massive arms were holding him steadily, which was a good thing, because James nearly flailed out of them the moment he regained consciousness.

"Easy now" came the gruff voice that he had heard in the forest. James recognized the voice, though Hagrid's large form was unmistakable on its own.

"Put me down!" James cried frantically. "The others!" _Where are the others? Are they alright?_ Hagrid stopped walking and placed James down on the grass. James looked around wildly, his stomach in knots at the thought that the others could still be in the forest.

"Calm yerself, lad" the gamekeeper told him. "I didn't leave without them." It was true; James caught sight of his friends standing a few yards behind them. They'd had a bit of trouble keeping up with Hagrid's long strides, but they were all there – and in one piece.

"Alright, mate?" Sirius asked with a smirk. James looked them over. They each looked disheveled to the point where he would have believed them if they had claimed to have been trampled. Lily's and Carina's hair was sticking out at odd angles contradicting gravity, and the arms of Sirius' robes had both been torn off near the elbows. Peter looked as pale as ghost and he was still breathing quite heavily. Remus was staring at Hagrid and looking ready to bawl; _he must be thinking Hagrid will tell on us._ He knew how worried Remus got over getting into any sort of trouble. Protectiveness filled him.

"Are you going to tell the professors that you found us in the forest?" James asked Hagrid bluntly, staring up at him. Hagrid was massive, but he didn't appear to be very stern. He seemed to be debating in his head whether or not he should tell. _That's a good sign._

"I migh'" Hagrid responded at last. "What were you lot thinkin'? Goin' into the forest alone like tha'? You could've been killed. Came across acromantulas. Terribly misunderstood creatures, acromantulas. …" He looked over at the forest, almost longingly, for a moment and then back at the group of first-years in front of him. "But, ya can't jus' wander in and surprise 'em like that. How would you feel if a bunch of unfriendly beasts wandered into yer home?"

"We aren't unfriendly beasts" James protested quickly.

"Well they don' know that, do they?" Hagrid said back, fixing him with a meaningful stare.

 _He's mad!_ Surely their gamekeeper was crazy.

"Are you actually taking their side?" Carina asked him in bewilderment. "The giant spiders."

"You wandered into their nest. They were just doin' what's natural."

"They tried to eat us!" Peter nearly screamed; he was shaking terribly. Sirius put an arm around his shoulders.

"If you hadn't shown up, they would've eaten Pete for sure" Sirius said matter-of-factly. James assumed he had been trying to be comforting, but his words seemed to have the opposite effect on Peter.

 _Nobody was going to be eaten_ – at least that's what James wanted to say. Yet, he couldn't; they all would know that it wasn't true. They'd nearly died.

"Let that be a lesson to ya" Hagrid warned. "Now come on, all of ya. Let's get you back up ta the castle."

They walked behind him quietly. With each additional step between them and the Forbidden Forest, the more James' sense of terror over the whole ordeal waned, and the more he began to replay their exciting escapade in his mind. _It really was incredible! What a story to tell!_ Only Sirius and James seemed to still be in high spirits from their Halloween adventure. Everyone else seemed to be rather somber and remorseful.

James kept stumbling over his own feet until Hagrid remembered that he had also retrieved James' broken glasses. Lily was able to do a quick repairing charm, much to James' relief. When they reached the castle doors, Hagrid saw them all safely inside.

"Are you going to tell on us?" Carina asked him.

"Have you learned your lesson about not going into the forest alone?"

"We weren't alone" Sirius muttered insolently under his breath. James elbowed him in the side. Sirius shrugged back innocently and James rolled his eyes.

"Yes, we have" Lily answered for the group. "Please don't tell on us, Hagrid. Thank you so much for saving us. We'll never go into the forest alone again."

"Yes I will" Sirius whispered to James, who couldn't help but grin in agreement.

"I'm never even going to go within fifty feet of that forest ever again" Peter added. "Do those things come out?"

"Nah. They mostly keep to themselves" Hagrid said calmly. He looked them over again. "Well… I suppose, if you've all learned yer lesson… ah, off ta bed with you. An' don' let me see you doin' anythin' so reckless again."


	13. Chapter 12: We All Have Our Demons

**_Author's Note:_**

 _I think that some of this chapter, particularly the last section, is written a bit advanced for their actual ages…but that's just how it ended up being._

 _Thank you for reading!_

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

* * *

 **(Sirius Black)**

 _I knew this was a bad idea_ , Sirius thought to himself under the angry glare of their head of house. He and James had snuck out after hours to see if Rabastan had indeed replied to the anonymous fake love letter that they'd left him. As it turned out, he had not – much to their disappointment. Thankfully – or at least it had seemed like it could be considered thankfully twenty minutes ago – the two boys had thought to bring back-up entertainment.

It had been Sirius' idea to bring along the dung bombs that James had brought with him from home. But, it had been James' idea to chuck them at the wall leading to the Slytherin common room. Sirius had refused at first; something about it just didn't seem right. It was almost too disrespectful, even for him; he'd been brought up to think that Slytherin House was the best of the best, and, to be honest, he still had to believe that it must be. Why else would his family be so furious that he hadn't been put in Slytherin? Yet, James had worn him down with his "the y deserve to wake up to the smell of dung bombs" remark, and Sirius had finally agreed. It had indeed been a hilarious prospect – it still was, save for the fact that it was now coupled with a very angry-looking Professor McGonagall.

 _What was I thinking? Why do I do this to myself? Why don't I ever just think?_ But, his self-reprimanding was in vain, for it was too late. They hadn't even been able to slip on the cloak to hide from her, because she had come around the corner and seen them both before they had noticed her. They hadn't exactly been being as stealthy as they should have been given what they were trying to do.

"I will be writing to your parents" Professor McGonagall informed them, looking down at them more sternly than ever.

Sirius took in her words as if they were a physical blow. He stared up at her, feeling too defeated to even try to ask her not to write to his parents again. Two letters home in the same term – the third month of school… _If she tells them what I just did…_ He couldn't even imagine the consequences for defiling Slytherin House – even just the outside of it.

Directly beside him, James was less affected by this news.

"Professor!" James whined. "We can explain – "

"The situation is perfectly clear already, Mr. Potter. I will be writing to your parents." Sirius watched perceptively as her eyes lingered on James a moment longer and then shifted to observe him. She took in his resigned expression for several seconds. "Mr. Black" she said decisively, "you will not be allowed to attend the next Quidditch match."

 _Of course_ , Sirius thought bitterly. _I'm worse than James, so I have to miss Quidditch too. Not fair…_ Yet, he nodded respectfully; the last thing he needed was to upset her more right before she sent a letter to his mother and father.

"That's not fair!" James burst out. Sirius appreciated that James was trying to stand up for him, but he wished he wouldn't right then. They didn't need to get McGonagall even angrier at them.

"Would you rather miss the next Quidditch match instead, Mr. Potter?" she asked knowingly, warningly.

 _Wait what? 'Instead'?_

"No" James said so urgently that he nearly shouted at her.

"That's what I thought" McGonagall said curtly. "Now straight to bed with you both, and don't take any detours."

James gave a loud huff, not used to being dismissed by anyone, and grumbled a "yes, Professor" as he began slowly walking down the corridor. Sirius lingered for a moment, watching McGonagall inquiringly.

"Will you also be writing to my parents, Professor?" he asked her softly. He needed full clarification on that fact. She stared at him a moment, and he could have sworn that her strictness faltered for a fraction of a second.

"Not this time, Mr. Black" she replied. "I trust that you will show me that missing a Quidditch match proves an effective consequence for your poor actions."

Relief spread through him so quickly that the tips of his fingers began to tingle. Sirius nodded at her; he couldn't begin to explain to her how grateful he was for this decision.

"Thank you, Professor" he muttered. She gave him a nod in acknowledgement and dismissal. Sirius turned to head after James, who had stopped midway down the corridor upon realizing that Sirius wasn't with him, and waited.

"I can't believe she's making you miss a match" James mumbled as soon as Sirius reached him. They began walking towards Gryffindor tower. "She thought I meant it wasn't fair that you weren't getting a letter home and I was, but I meant that you're getting it so much worse." Sirius couldn't' disagree more. "I would have kept arguing for you , mate, but she threatened I'd miss a match and…well…" James shrugged sheepishly and ran a hand through his messy hair, "… 'm sorry."

"It's alright" Sirius told him truthfully. "I'd rather not have two letters sent home in the same term." James let out a small laugh.

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that."

* * *

 **(Remus Lupin)**

Peter's birthday arrived mid-November on the same day as the second Quidditch match of the year: Ravenclaw versus Hufflepuff. As with the first match, James woke them all up jubilantly hours before breakfast. The upcoming match had been all that James and Sirius would talk about for the past week - with James proclaiming how excited he was, and with Sirius dramatically complaining that he was not allowed to attend.

Peter's birthday fell slightly into the background as far as James and Sirius went, although they each did get him a present. Remus too had gotten Peter a birthday gift. Peter didn't seem to mind being woken up early on his birthday, and he eagerly opened his presents. In addition to their three, he had gifts from his parents and grandparents awaiting him at the foot of his bed as well. James watched him open his gifts with just as much eagerness as Peter himself exhibited. Remus watched politely, but he was nowhere near as interested as James was in birthday festivities.

The four boys arrived late to breakfast, despite their early rising, due to the fact that they had spent the remainder of the early morning snacking on the candy and baked goods that Peter's family had sent. They'd even sent extra along with a note reminding their son to share.

"I love being here with all of you, but I do also wish I was home to see them" Peter told them as they sat in a small circle in the center of the room – unhealthy treats covering the floor around them.

Remus understood the feeling. On his own birthday, he'd been delighted to spend it with friends for the first time. Yet, there was still a part of him that was homesick and longed to be home in his own bedroom and with his parents.

"My Mum always makes me whatever I want for meals on my birthday" Peter went on dreamily. "And she always makes me a huge cake."

"She **makes** the cake?" Sirius blurted in surprise.

"Yeah." Peter popped another taffy into his mouth. "Whatever flavor I want, which is usually chocolate."

"Oh chocolate cake!" James cheered, as if chocolate cake was a long lost friend. "I wish she'd sent us one!"

"Me too! Her cakes are the best!"

"Woe, woe" James laughed. "I'll allow them to be second best. **My** Mum makes the best chocolate cake in the world. Last year, she made the cake **four** layers. It was nearly eight inches high."

"Are you serious?" Peter gaped.

"No, I'm Sirius" Sirius muttered, nearly out of habit. It still made them all laugh.

"I am" James said triumphantly. He looked over at Sirius expectantly. "How many layers was your cake?"

"Ten" Sirius replied with a smirk, though he didn't seem too enthusiastic about beating James in the little contest – which was unusual.

"No way!" Peter and James both shouted.

"What kind was it? How many feet was it? Was it delicious?" James inquired rapidly.

Sirius gave a small shrug and suddenly became very interested in readjusting his socks.

"It was four different kinds. About two feet. And I don't know; I didn't have any."

"What?" James looked bewildered. "Why?"

"I didn't like the kinds. I'd already had them before, so there was no point in re-affirming that I didn't like them. My mother always picks what flavors, and it's always something like espresso with orange zest, or hazelnut with these gross cherries."

"But there were four flavors…" Remus muttered softly, more voicing his thoughts aloud than actually stating the obvious to the group. "Couldn't one of them have been something you liked?"

Sirius hesitated a moment before answering, his expression stoic. Then he leaned backward and gave a rather condescending grin at the other three.

"My cake has to be sophisticated" he asserted proudly. "I'm a Black. We're urbane."

"Sounds gross" Peter commented, jostling James from his shock and setting him off laughing.

"Yeah, well I wouldn't expect you to understand" Sirius shot back, getting up off of the floor. He brushed himself off, more out of habit than because there had been any dirt or dust on the floor to cling to his robes.

Sirius had openly ignored both Peter and James for the remainder of the morning; though, as they sat down for breakfast in the Great Hall, he seemed to forget that he had been offended by them. His letter arrived with the daily post as usual.

Remus' stomach sunk. He didn't know why, but Sirius was always in such a bad mood after reading any of his letters from home. Across from Remus, Peter was smiling broadly as he read a lengthy Happy Birthday letter from his parents. Peter had received a small pile of letters that morning.

"From my grandparents, and aunts and uncles" Peter had explained, when James had inquired how he had suddenly acquired so many admirers. Remus picked a bit at his food; the sweets they'd snacked on that morning had taken away most of his appetite.

"Incendio." To his left, Sirius was watching his letter burn as he held it up with two fingers.

"Don't let the pyro get too close to your fan mail, Pete" James chuckled as he scooped more oatmeal into his bowl.

"Alright, Sirius?" Remus asked softly boy on his left. James and Peter were happily oblivious, as was typical, to the fact that, prior to setting the letter ablaze, the fourth member of their group had stopped eating and had been staring down at the unopened letter for nearly five minutes.

"M'fine" Sirius replied with a low sigh. He turned to look at Remus, his usual fortified expression gone, replaced with what could only be taken for sadness. "I think I'm gonna get some air" he said in barely a whisper. "D'you want to-?"

His question, likely an invitation to join him, was cut off by James' loud interjection.

"Remus! Sirius! We've all been invited to tea! At Hagrid's!" Remus stared across the food-laden table. Peter was grinning and holding up a letter in his right hand.

"Not during the match!" James – ever focused around Quidditch – said in alarm. "Right? I won't miss the match!"

"Before the match. He even wished me a happy birthday" Peter informed them cheerfully. "I think we'd better go, don't you?"

"Of course we're going to go" James shot back enthusiastically. "This is exciting! I bet he likes us."

"Why would he like us?" Remus inquired aloud. "All he knows about us is that we went into the forest without permission, and that he had to save us."

"So he knows that we're a bunch of brave adventurous young gentlemen!" James announced energetically. "Maybe he'll offer to give us a tour of the forest."

"You think he would?" Peter beamed eagerly. _I thought he said he'd never go near that forest again. I suppose he's over it with the help of James._

"Why not?" James smirked.

"I though you said it was an invitation to tea" Remus reminded his overly-excitable friends.

"Well…" Peter replied. "I mean… it is. But, that doesn't mean it won't come up." Remus looked at his only three friends in the world – every one of them grinning at the prospect of getting back in that forest.

* * *

 **(Sirius Black)**

Sirius could not have felt more confused as he ran back up to the castle from Hagrid's hut. He'd been uneasy – if uneasy was even the right word to describe the way he felt – about accepting the invitation to tea in the first place. Yes; he'd been grateful that the gamekeeper had saved them, and he'd been thankful that he hadn't reported them for being in the Forbidden Forest. But, Sirius had still not been able to keep from feeling guilty as he had walked down with his friends on the way to tea.

Although the other three had not talked about it, Sirius had been able to tell that the Hogwarts gamekeeper was not more than half human. He suspected that he was half giant. He'd heard his parents mention Dumbledore's ludicrous standards and horrendous judgement prior to starting school, and upon seeing the gamekeeper on night one, he had known exactly to what they were referring. What sort of person allowed a half-human to reside with full humans? Half-bloods and muggleborns were bad enough to associate oneself with, in his parents eyes; Sirius knew how furious they'd be if they found out that he had actually accepted an invitation to tea from a half-human… as if he were an equal.

The whole way there, Sirius had silently asked himself how in the world the other three could be thinking that this was alright. Were they really too naïve to realize that the gamekeeper was a half-giant? Were they so uncivilized that they thought it was okay to demean themselves? Were they just doing this in hopes of getting back into the forest? Were they considering this to be just another adventure – to drink tea with a half-giant? He had no clue what the other three were thinking.

When they'd arrived, and the place had been all of one room, and very… rustic, Sirius had had to keep himself from commenting. James had run around the place, like he was at Diagon Alley for the first time – hopping from place to place to try each potential seat in turn. Remus had been quiet and polite the entire time. Peter had been nearly as talkative as James, seeming to have added confidence due to the fact that it was his birthday.

All the while, Sirius had stayed quiet and observant. He did not drink the tea that he was given, even though the others all did. He had had no idea what to think of this whole thing. It had been clear nearly from the start – due to Peter's lack of tact – that Hagrid would not be giving them a tour of the forest "not now 'er ever". The others had all seemed to have a grand time, and it had been clear early on that the gamekeeper was not the average adult. He was friendly and entertaining, and Sirius had had a difficult time trying to connect his parents' descriptions of half-humans to this large amicable man who had saved them.

And then it had happened. It had been time for the second Quidditch match of the year, and James and Peter had leapt up and bid a quick thanks and farewell. James had bolted to the door, unwilling to not have a perfect seat, and Peter had been close behind him. Remus, although not particularly excited for the match, had risen to follow as well. Remus had thanked Hagrid for his hospitality, as well as for not turning them in – something Remus had thanked him for nearly fifteen times that afternoon. So, somehow, Sirius had ended up last to the door, and he'd found himself momentarily alone in the house with the gamekeeper.

 _ **.**_

 _"_ _All righ', lad? Yer've been awfully quiet."_

 _Sirius, just in front of the door, turned around in surprise. Hagrid's massive form was somehow not at all intimidating. It made no sense. None of it._

 _"_ _I'm fine" Sirius replied cautiously. He didn't know what to say; any acknowledgement at all would be too much in his family's eyes – he knew that. Hagrid gave him a disbelieving look._

 _"_ _What's on yer mind?" he asked. Sirius gulped. He wasn't frightened per say, but he had no idea how to act. He glanced quickly back out the open door. His three friends seemed to have gone on without him, knowing that he wasn't going to attend the match. Perhaps they thought he was planning to prolong his visit with Hagrid. He couldn't help but feel a little angered by their rude assumption._ Reg would have never gone off and left me.

 _He turned back to look at Hagrid, who was waiting patiently. Sirius built up his courage._

 _"_ _I know what you are." It wasn't an accusation, merely an acknowledgement of a fact. The gamekeeper's face darkened._

 _"_ _An' what's that?" Hagrid growled. Sirius had a slight instinct to leave, but then his upbringing took over. He knew that Hagrid couldn't do anything to him. He'd be more than fired if he did anything to harm him – Sirius Black. Sirius stood his ground._

 _"_ _You're a half-giant."_

 _Hagrid's face switched from anger to fear, much to Sirius' surprise. A different child might not understand why a massive man like Hagrid would fear a small eleven-year-old boy knowing his secret. But, Sirius was not just anyone. He was raised to know just how much power and influence that he held in society – or, at least, that the adults in his family held._

 _"_ _I've known since I arrived" Sirius informed him. Hagrid seemed to regain himself a little._

 _"_ _Well, I can't say I'm surprised. You being a Black." Sirius took that as a compliment. Blacks were perceptive and clever._ Guess Gryffindors can be clever too, Mum. _"But Dumbledore knows. You can't have me fired. You can't. Not even yer family is more powerful than Dumbledore at Hogwarts." Hagrid was getting flustered. Sirius took a step back; he was now standing in the doorway._

 _The thought of having Hagrid fired had not even crossed Sirius' mind._ Why would I want to have him fired? He rescued us. He didn't turn us in. He invited us to have tea.

 _"_ _I don't want you to be fired" Sirius told him bluntly._

 _"_ _Well wha' do ya want then?" the man asked, on borderline hysterics. Sirius stared at him blankly, until he at last shook his head in confusion._

 _"_ _I… don't want anything. I… I was just telling you that I knew."_

 _But this appeared to have been an additional wrong thing to say. Hagrid heaved himself down into a large wooden chair, looking miserable._

 _"_ _You're a Black" Hagrid muttered, shaking his head. The name used to only instill pride, but now – knowing that many people disliked his family – it made him bristle._

 _"_ _So?" Sirius asked heatedly._

 _"_ _You lot always want somethin'. What is it? You'll keep quiet about me unless what? What d'ya want?" Hagrid snapped, switching back to aggressive from his momentary state of defeat._

 _Anger flowed through him suddenly. He narrowed his eyes at this man, half-giant or otherwise, who treated him like he knew him just because he knew his surname._

 _"_ _You don't even know me" Sirius shot back, livid. "I thought I knew what half-giants were like, but I gave you a chance. I came here! I sat here and gave you a chance! I thought maybe just because I knew_ _ **what**_ _you were doesn't mean that I knew_ _ **who**_ _you were. But when you look at me, all you think of is_ _ **what**_ _I am: a pureblood, a Black. You don't know_ _ **who**_ _I am. Or what I want!"_

 _Furious, and not wanting to give this judgmental hypocrite another moment of his time, he turned around and took off sprinting towards the castle._

 ** _._**

Sirius reached the castle doors in a matter of minutes. He could hear the faint cheers of the roaring crowd as one of the teams scored. He didn't know if it was Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw, but he suddenly didn't care. He felt lost again – just as confused as he'd felt on night one, upon learning that not everyone thought purebloods were better than everyone else or that muggleborns were scum. James, Remus, and Peter didn't seem to care or notice that Hagrid was a half-giant. Yet, his own family considered him worse than an animal; at least animals were fully one breed. He just wanted answers; he just wanted the truth. He felt incredibly overwhelmed.

He wanted to go home. He wanted the world to make sense again. It was so much easier when there was only one way to view things. Who was he to lecture Hagrid on giving chances? Hadn't he, Sirius, spent the first eleven years of his life believing that all half-breeds, muggleborns, and half-bloods were revolting? He felt a massive stab of guilt, and it surprised him.

 _I didn't know. I'd never met any. It's not my fault._ He was sprinting through the corridors now, trying desperately to get back up to his dormitory before anyone could see him in such a worked-up state. He was barely looking where he was going, especially not as he hurtled around corners, which was why he ran straight into someone as he turned left on the fourth floor.

"Ey!" shouted the taller boy. The shock of running head on into another solid being delayed Sirius' response. He stumbled backward a few steps, blinking. The boy before him had gingery hair; he had to have been at least a sixth-year. "Watch where yer goin', kid!" The boy said in an arrogant voice.

"You watch where **you're** going" Sirius asserted back, even though he knew that the collision had been his own fault. The sixth-year eyed him suspiciously.

"Why ain't you at the match?"

"Why aren't you?" The boy whipped out his wand, but Sirius was quick to draw his as well – a shielding charm ready in his mind. For a second, they both stood there, wands at the ready, and then the older boy laughed and lowered his wand.

"Yer alright, kid." Sirius couldn't help but stare at him, dumbfounded. This was by far the strangest first meeting that he'd ever had with anyone. "What's yer name, firstie?"

Sirius did his best to sum up the boy standing before him. He wasn't wearing school robes, so Sirius didn't know which house he was in. Yet, he was nearly certain that he wasn't in Gryffindor. He was wearing wizarding clothes with a muggle jacket – brown leather – over it, and he looked very strange. He was smirking at Sirius expectantly. Sirius usually was able to read people fairly easily, but this boy was a complete mystery. Despite the fact that he was dressed in ridiculous attire, he had a certain vibe about him that Sirius found inexplicably cool.

"Sirius."

"I'm always serious, kid. What's your name, yeah?" He nodded at him encouragingly, though almost in a mocking sort of way.

"My name **is** Sirius. …Like the star" he explained rather softly. But, the other boy burst out laughing. He laughed so hard that he curled forward, hugging his stomach, making Sirius have to take another step away from him. Sirius might have gotten angry and stormed off on another occasion, but he was so perplexed at seeing this very strange fellow-student, that he waited quietly for him to finish laughing. He took his time about it.

"Woah" he said at last, and with great effort. "Merlin, I love it."

"What's your name then?" Sirius asked. The taller boy crossed his arms and shook his head at him.

"Wouldn't you like to know? That's none of your business, kid. You never saw me here. You got that?"

"Why? What were you doing?" Sirius asked, now completely intrigued. Without warning, the taller boy reached over and flicked him in the head. Sirius jerked away from him in surprise, gaping at him.

"You deaf?" He asked, though he was still smirking down at him.

"I won't tell anyone I saw you if you tell me what you were doing" Sirius said, thinking quickly.

"That's not how this works, kid." Sirius eyed him as he bent down and picked up the strange assortment of miscellaneous things that he'd dropped when Sirius had run into him, and he stowed them back away in the many pockets of his strange outfit.

 _Who carries glass goblets and extra dress shoes around?_

"I can help you carry those if you tell me what you were doing" Sirius tried. The older bot smirked, seeming to finally give in, and he held out a hand for Sirius to shake.

"The name's Mundungus Fletcher, kid. I'll tell you what. Next time I need a lookout accomplice, I'll seek you out. Alright?"

 _And he laughed at my name?_

"Lookout for what?" Sirius asked eagerly.

"If you're lucky, one day you'll find out. For now, you didn't see me. Deal?"

Sirius thought a moment.

"Deal" he nodded.

* * *

 **(James Potter)**

"James." A whisper came from the darkness outside his bed-curtains. Surely it was well past midnight, but there it was again: "James." James yawned and quietly pulled open the right side of the curtains. Before him stood the tall familiar figure of Sirius.

 _He's waking me up in the night?_ Sirius had been asleep in the dormitory when they'd finally gotten back from the Quidditch match; Hufflepuff had beaten Ravenclaw 260 to 80.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I… well I wondered if I could ask you some questions."

"Right now?" But he couldn't help that he was slightly intrigued by the oddly secretive behavior. Why was he asking so late at night?

"Well I hoped so, yeah." There was no sarcasm in his voice. "If-if you want to sleep I understand."

 _No, no. Now I'm up and curious._

"Sure, you can. Have a seat." Sirius climbed onto his bed as James pulled his feet upward. James grabbed his wand off of the night table, drew the curtain closed, and muttered "lumos."

He could see his friend more clearly now, though the dim lighting was casting shadows across their faces. Sirius looked a little apprehensive but determined nonetheless.

"So, what did you want to ask?"

"You have to promise not to send me up about it though." He could hear the concern in the older boy's voice. James raised his right palm.

"I solemnly swear that I will not make fun." Sirius nodded in thanks.

"Okay. So before you answer this first one, I want you to think about it. I mean really think about it; don't just say what you've been told. I've done a lot of research on it and I want to know the truth. Not the biased truth mind you, the actual honest truth whether it's 'yes' or 'no'. And keep in mind that I don't care either way as long as it's the truth. Got it?"

"Got it. Ask away." There was a pause.

"So my whole life I've been told that blood purity matters. I know you know that already, but just hear me out. When I came here there were all these people saying my family is wrong and that it doesn't matter at all. And I know you don't think it matters either, which is strange because you're a pureblood too. And there are all these half-bloods and muggleborns here, and they seem just as apt as the purebloods, some more so. So I just don't get it. Does it matter or not? And why does it matter…if it does? And before you answer, I want you to really think about it because I don't just want some recited instilled thing in your head that came from your parents; I've got enough of that already from my own."

James had to admit that it was difficult to take the moment to pause without simply saying that it most certainly did not matter whether someone was pureblood or not, and that it made no difference whatsoever. _Take the minute to figure out how to get him to understand. He isn't prejudiced. He just doesn't understand._ After a minute of Sirius watching him intently, James spoke.

"Well, you know my views already. Blood purity doesn't mean anything. But I don't just think that because of my parents. Let me break it down logically for you." Sirius nodded. James paused to think another moment. "…Okay, so first off, do you think that someone with purer blood has a better personality than someone with less pure blood?" As James had expected, Sirius gave a small smirk.

"Of course not."

"Okay next. Do you think that purebloods are naturally smarter than half-bloods and muggleborns?"

"No. I mean there are a lot of dim-witted purebloods in Slytherin."

"Naturally braver?"

"No."

"Naturally kinder?"

"Definitely not."

"More talented in their magical aptitude?" At this one, Sirius did stop to think for a while.

"Well… I mean some are, yes. But there are a lot of non-purebloods that are just as powerful too. Aren't there?"

"Aren't there?" James repeated, wanting his friend to work it out fully for himself, a trick he'd learned from his parents when they wanted him to come to his own conclusions. Again, there was a long pause.

"I read that there were…. That Evans girl is pretty gifted, and she's a muggle-born.… There are definitely some duds on the talent front in some of the Slytherins I know…and they're purebloods…. Yeah, I suppose that one goes in the 'no' pile too."

"Good." He gave his friend an encouraging smile; he'd come to the right answer. "So, if having pure blood doesn't make one have a better personality, or naturally smart or brave or kind, and it doesn't effect one's magical aptitude, then can't you answer your own question of whether it matters or not?" _Well done, James. Well done._

Only Sirius wasn't giving him the desired enlightened response of "Yes James! I can see fully now that it doesn't matter! Thank you!" Instead, he was looking rather confused and a bit uncomfortable.

"It's just that…" Sirius began, he was fidgeting with his hands now. "Well my family sort of describes it as more of a… class thing. You know what I mean? Like… well like well-bred…like special blood."

"What like royalty?" James said, holding in a laugh at such nonsense. Sirius was looking at his hands now.

"Well yeah." That time James really did let out a snort of laughter. He quickly clamped both hands over his mouth. He hadn't meant to laugh; it was just so absurd. Sirius was glaring at him. _If looks could kill._

"I'm sorry, mate" he whispered urgently. "I didn't mean to. It isn't funny." _It truly isn't funny. It's really quite revolting that some people actually think like that._

"If you're going to laugh at me for asking an honest question then –"

"I'm not; I didn't mean to. It won't happen again. I was just so surprised is all."

 _I didn't realize I was in the company of a Prince. Stop it. Damn, you're going to make yourself laugh. Ugh. Kittens dying. Kittens dying. Magpies not winning the World Cup. Kittens dying. There. See what I had to do?_

"I'm not sure how to explain it to you, Sirius. I mean I get what you're saying. Most pureblood families have fortunes, and house elves, and all that. I can see how the money makes it different, but it's not the blood. I mean, we were raised a certain way – to be of a certain class if you will – because of the money. Not because of the blood. Not all pureblood families have that kind of money, and I'm pretty sure those ones fall under your family's definition of blood-traitors. Similarly, some non-pureblood families have fortunes and were raised like us still. Am I making enough sense?"

To James' relief, Sirius nodded almost immediately.

"So, all things considered, what do you think the truth about it is?" Sirius broke out into a huge smile.

"I think the truth is that it doesn't matter one sodding bit."

 _Knew he'd come around to sanity's side eventually. Once he got out of his own head and stopped guessing what he already knew was true._

"Glad to hear it, mate." They were both smiling for a few moments, until Sirius' face fell to deep contemplation once more.

"So… what they say about my family being prejudiced…is true?"

 _Hell yes! No I can't just say it like that. Be sensitive._

"Some of the pureblood families are…stuck in their ways, yes." Sirius gave a small chuckle, but he looked upset.

"Thanks for that. … It's all just so weird."

"What d'you mean?" James wondered. Sirius gave a heavy sigh.

"It's just that everything's a lot different than I thought it was before. My whole life I thought… well, you know what I thought. But then I came here. And there's Remus…and Evans…and even Hagrid. …I had all these questions, but they just made my father angry, and I didn't understand why it was just me who had questions. But now…well it wasn't really anything wrong with me at all, was it? It's been them the whole time. … It's just hard to wrap my head around."

James wasn't exactly sure what to say to that; he was just beyond relieved that his new friend had finally come around and seen the world properly. He looked around, slightly awkward, thinking on what to say as Sirius allowed this new world view to set in.

"Can't wait 'til the next Quidditch match" James said at last. Sirius' pensive expression vanished, instantly replaced with a smirk.

"I need a play-by-play of everything I missed from today's match."

James smirked back; he was the perfect person, in his opinion, to give a complete rerun of the day's match.


	14. Chapter 13: Secrets and Lies

**Author's Note:**

Sorry for the delay! Thank you so much for the reviews! I really appreciate them!

 **Warning:** Suggestions of abuse

 **.**

 **.**

* * *

 **(Remus Lupin)**

A few days after the mid-November Quidditch match, Remus awoke with a pit of impending doom in his stomach. His whole body ached, and his head felt dizzy from the oncoming fever; he could already sense the moon as it drew nearer to his section of the Earth. _Only a few short hours left._ Then, there would be no reprieve; no comfort as the transformation took him, rendering him powerless over his own body and mind. _A monster._ He shivered under his red blankets. He could already hear his dorm mates getting ready for the school day. They were being quieter than usual, and Remus knew it was because they had noticed the day before that he had been feeling ill.

 _They're such kind friends. How am I to get away from them this time?_ He hated himself for the thought and for the lies. He wanted more than anything to be honest with them, but he knew that was something he could never do. He'd be driven away from school. He'd lose his whole future and never become a proper wizard. _And I'd lose them…the only friends I've ever had._

The terror of his friends finding out that he was a werewolf was always somewhere in his mind, never too far from the surface of his conscious thoughts. Each month, as the full moon drew nearer, the dread of them finding out and rejecting him – hating him even for deceiving them – was nearly more than he could bear. He didn't want to face them. He didn't want to lie to their faces anymore.

"Remus." It was Sirius' voice coming from just outside the bed-curtains. Remus pulled himself to a sitting position, noticing how much energy he needed to exert for even the simple task of sitting up. He reached out and opened the side of the curtain to reveal Sirius. His tall friend was leaning against the wall, looking down at him thoughtfully.

"Morning" Remus mumbled. His head spun with dizziness.

"Still sick I see, mate. You want to see the matron?" Remus tried to shake his head 'no', but the motion was too much and he had to stop to regain his balance. Sirius took a step towards him in concern. "I think you should. You need a tonic or something."

"M'fine." _Ugh._ Speaking made him feel like he would vomit. _This is going to be a bad one._

"You two ready?" James called energetically. "All right, Remus?" he added, slightly concerned, as he noticed that Remus was still in bed in his pajamas.

"I think we're gonna stay here" Sirius answered for him. Remus couldn't see James or Peter, but there was a hesitation before the door to the dormitory opened and Remus could hear his two friends starting off down the stairs. Sirius left the side of Remus' bed, only to return a moment later. Sirius sat down on the edge of the bed and offered him a large red apple. The thought of eating anything was entirely out of the question.

"No thanks" he mumbled, leaning his head up against the headboard. Sirius looked rejected.

"You didn't really eat anything at dinner last night." Remus felt a jolt of fear.

 _He noticed that?! What if he notices every month? What if-_

"Just one apple, Remus" Sirius coaxed, "You should eat something, mate."

"N-No thanks, S-Sir." Sirius' grey eyes shown with concern, but he quickly forced a smile.

"No? That's alright, mate" he said with forced cheerfulness. "What d'you want then? I can go get you –"

"N-No. I don't want anything. Th-Thanks" Remus stammered. The full moon approaching made him nervous, and that fear was increased by the fact that Sirius had noticed that he hadn't eaten and hadn't been feeling well. James and Peter hadn't noticed. _Why did Sirius have to notice?_ The fact of it almost made him mad, though he knew that what he should be feeling was grateful. Remus couldn't help it; as the full moons neared, he would always become scared, and bitter, and angry at his imminent fate and the unfairness of it all.

"Remus, if you're too sick to eat, then you're sick enough to need a tonic."

 _It won't help, Sirius. It'll make it worse. Nothing can help me. Leave me alone. Please. I don't deserve your help. I'm lying to you._ He sat on the end of Remus' bed, watching him attentively. When Remus didn't reply, Sirius went on.

"You're planning to go home today, aren't you?" he asked tepidly. Remus' stomach lurched.

 _No! How could you know that? I didn't say anything. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. What do I do? Oh no. What if he knows? No, don't be absurd, he clearly doesn't know. Uh, I have to answer. Think!_

"Yes" his voice came out in barely a whisper.

"Maybe you shouldn't."

"What?" _Now I'm confused. Why would he say that?_

"Remus" Sirius ventured gingerly, "I know you said that your mum is ill, but you shouldn't be traveling when you're so ill yourself. …Unless perhaps the reason you go home is because you're ill, and she's not really ill at all." His tone said clearly enough that he no longer believed Remus' lie about his mother, though how Sirius had come to that conclusion, Remus had no idea.

Remus did not know how to respond. This had not been a conversation that he had been anticipating. He had to think his way out of this. He had to think fast. James wouldn't be back for a while, and Remus could barely sit up let alone leave the dormitory; thus, he knew he was forced to have the conversation with Sirius. He would have been mad at his friend for putting him in such a position if it had not been for the manner in which Sirius was going about it. _He doesn't know that I'm too weak to leave. He doesn't know how intimidating he can be. He's trying to help._

"I do get ill…occasionally." Sirius narrowed his eyes slightly, taking this in.

"You say that like it's more than that. It's more than just being ill. What do you have?"

 _Merlin. Um…_

"It's a muggle disease. There's nothing anyone can do."

"There's no cure?"

"No."

"How long have you had it?"

"Since I was four." Remus' heart was pounding in his chest. This was as close to telling to telling anyone about his condition as he had ever ventured. It was a huge risk, and yet here he was telling Sirius.

"So you go home for… treatment or something?" Remus grimaced.

"You could put it like that, yeah."

"Did you get it from your mother?"

"No" Remus breathed, barely audible.

"Your mother's not ill, is she?" Remus shook his head, unable to meet his friend's eyes any longer. "Why did you lie about it to us?" Remus swallowed hard.

"I-I panicked. I'm sorry. I didn't want anyone to know – a-about me." There was silence for a long time and Remus couldn't bear to look up at Sirius. After several minutes, during which time Remus sat miserably wondering what Sirius would make of him outright lying to them, Sirius spoke. His voice was surprisingly calm and patient.

"Okay. I can understand that. … It wasn't right… but I can understand it. Remus…." But Sirius broke off for such a length of time that Remus was curious enough to look up at him once more. His eyes met Sirius' and he could see the worry in them.

"What?" Remus breathed, unsure of how to ease his friend's concern. Sirius was struggling.

"I – Remus – I don't know – I mean – uh, sorry – I just - "

"Calm down. What is it?"

"This-this muggle disease you have… are you going to …?" Sirius looked down at his lap where his hands were clenched together.

 _What in the world is he getting at? …Oh!_

"I'm not going to die from it, Sirius." _At least I hope not._ At once, Remus could tell that he had guessed Sirius' question correctly. His friend looked up and broke into a weak relieved grin. They sat in silence for a while after that; Remus rested against the headboard and Sirius curled his knees up and rested his chin on top of them, looking pensive.

"I won't tell anyone. Though, it's not exactly a secret that you get ill. But I won't say anything about your mum."

"Thank you" Remus answered gratefully.

"But Remus…"

"Mmm?" Remus asked sleepily.

"Where do the bruises come from?" Remus had just been starting to relax, but now his heart leapt in his chest uncomfortably once more.

"It's a side effect of the treatment" he replied, thinking fast.

"You know," Sirius said delicately, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly as he looked at Remus, "last month Peter suggested an interesting scenario. He mused that it wasn't a student hurting you and that it was a professor…"

 _Where is he going with this?_

"…I thought about it for a long time and I just don't see any of the professors doing that … not to you, and not in such a way."

"Right…, well it's just the treatment." Remus could barely breathe.

"Remus" Sirius said more firmly, yet still kind. "You can tell me. …I… I'll understand. I can't imagine you doing anything wrong, but it's okay. You don't have to lie about it. It's your mum isn't it? …I… I'm sure everyone would understand."

Now Remus was confused.

"I-I…" Remus stuttered, not sure of how to respond; all he wanted was for this interrogation to end. _I already told him that my mum isn't ill._ "…What?"

Sirius was looking sullen, observing him from the bottom of the bed.

"But you have to go home for the treatment. …And then she gets angry?"

"What?" Remus asked again. "Y-Yes, I g-go home for the treatment" he lied. "Ev-every month." But what in the world did that have to do with his mother? "P-Please-"

"Is it because she's a muggle?" Sirius asked suddenly, realization crossing his face. "That's why she doesn't use magic. S-She just…" His eyes widened in horror.

Remus could only stare blankly back at him. His head was feeling clouded to begin with, and now Sirius was just making no sense at all. Remus tried to piece together what his friend was getting at.

"I don't understand" Remus muttered, rubbing his stinging eyes with his fingers.

"She shouldn't do that to you when you're ill, even if you did do something wrong" Sirius muttered. Remus' heart leapt in his chest as Sirius' meaning finally struck him.

"No!" Remus exclaimed quickly. "No, Sirius, my Mum would never hurt me. She would never ever do that." He was aware that he sounded almost hysterical at the accusation, but he couldn't help it. Besides, it seemed to get Sirius to believe him.

"Okay, okay, I believe you. …So it's your father then" he mused slowly.

"S-Sirius, no" Remus tried, his voice shaking. This was too much. But, Sirius didn't hear him object; he was already too livid, his mind made up.

"What's he do to you, huh?" Sirius jumped to his feet, his fists clenched and his voice near a yell. "That son-of-a-bitch! How could he do that to you when you're so ill?!"

Remus wanted to protest. He wanted to defend his father, who despite being ashamed of him would never so much as scold him let alone hit him. _But, this could be the excuse that will make Sirius stop asking anymore questions. Sirius made it up himself, so he'll believe it. He already believes it. Dammit, Dad, I'm so sorry. This is the only way._ Remus knew exactly what to say to make Sirius confirm his assumption; he would use Sirius' own confession words against him to solidify his protection.

"Swear you won't tell anyone." Sirius spun around to look at him, his face a blend of fury and sorrow.

"I swear." Sirius sunk back down onto the bed looking defeated. He stared pleadingly at Remus. "Don't go home this time, Remus" he said gently. "Just stay. I'm sure you'll be fine. We'll take care of you. I promise."

"I have to" Remus muttered, hating himself for putting his friend through this kind of worry. "…For the treatment."

Sirius stared at him sadly; it made Remus feel like a horrible person. _I don't deserve for him to worry and care. It isn't even true. I'm lying to him. And now I've lied about Dad._

* * *

 **(James Potter)**

James couldn't be more excited for the winter holidays. He loved Christmas time and, though he would not admit it out loud, he missed his parents. When Professor McGonagall had tacked up the sign-up sheet for students who wanted to stay at Hogwarts over the winter holidays, he'd laughed out loud, thinking she was joking.

They were only two short weeks away from going home, and James couldn't stop thinking about it. Remus had disappeared mysteriously again, but James was too distracted with the upcoming festivities at home to think too much on it this particular time. His mother had already sent him a letter asking what meals and deserts he wanted for his first week back, and he had even sent them his Christmas wish-list ahead of schedule – at the minor expense of his History of Magic homework. Luckily for him, Professor Binns seemed to be in the Christmas spirit as well, because he gave James' mediocre essay on the Troll Wars an Acceptable.

In fact, the only thing that succeeded at last in getting James' mind off of the holidays and going home, was the upcoming Quidditch match with Gryffindor and Hufflepuff.

"Remus can't miss the match" James announced to Sirius and Peter as they sat in the common room by the fire. It was a Hogsmeade weekend, and the common room was left to the first and second years for the first time all year, allowing them to claim the best seats by the fireplace. Sirius lay opposite James on the couch, their legs crossing. Peter sat in the center of the couch, on top of their ankles.

"He's usually only gone for a night or two" Peter commented. "I bet he'll be back by tomorrow morning in time for the match."

"Who would plan a visit home and risk missing a match? With their own house playing no less? I know he's not much for Quidditch, but he should at least be here to support Gryffindor" James said passionately.

"Who would plan a visit home only two weeks before the holidays?" Peter asked more logically.

"What d'you think, Sir?" James asked. Sirius gave a shrug.

"His mum's ill. He probably doesn't want to wait two weeks to see her." James sighed.

"Yeah, I suppose that makes sense. …I just wish he'd hurry back though."

"You're so sensitive" Peter teased. James made a face at him and then laughed.

"I didn't mean it badly and you know it" James muttered back guiltily.

The boys snacked on sweets that James' and Peter's parents had sent them, and they played exploding snap until the rest of the Gryffindors made it back from Hogsmeade and the common room became crowded, and they were told – a bit rudely by a sixth year girl that "little boys should be in their rooms at this hour". So the three had tromped up the spiral staircase to their dormitory and continued their games up there on the floor.

Sirius bowed out first from the rounds, claiming that he'd just watch the next game. He rose to his feet and went over to James' bed. James watched him with confusion as he took James' pillow and returned to his previous spot on the floor with it and laid down on his side to watch them.

"What's wrong with your own pillow?" James inquired with surprise. Sirius gave a huge yawn.

"I'm not putting my pillow on the floor."

Peter laughed and James shot him a look. He wasn't really annoyed; he didn't care if his pillow was on the floor. It was more just the fact that Sirius hadn't even asked.

"Why my pillow? Why not Remus'? He isn't even here."

Sirius made a face at him.

"I'm not going to take Remus' things when he isn't even here to tell me off. That's not on, mate."

"You're head's not on."

"Yes it is. It's right here on your pillow."

The two went back and forth amicably bickering with nonsense for a while, building off each other's remarks, until James eventually yielded. He was too tired to talk anymore. He and Peter continued their game of snap; they played five additional rounds and James won four of them. He loved winning; he was a very competitive person. Luckily, Peter was not a competitive person, and he had merely played for the enjoyment of the game.

James and Peter were in pajamas and bed before they realized that Sirius was fast asleep on the floor. They exchanged a look. _Should we wake him?_

 _He's got my pillow. I'm gonna wake him up._ He was not about to sleep without a pillow.

"I think we should wake him up" James told him.

" **I'm** not waking him up" Peter said, shaking his head and looking as if James had suggested waking up a vampire. James smirked and slung out of bed. He shuffled over to Sirius and knelt down. He paused, briefly wondering if he should prank him to wake him up. But, he was tired, and he didn't have a prank in mind or the energy to think of one, so he just shook his friend's shoulder.

"Sirius" he muttered. "Sirius, wake up."

"Stop, Reg" Sirius grumbled, more than half asleep. James covered his mouth to stifle his laugher, but Sirius woke up anyway. He looked up at James groggily. "Wh-Why'm'I on the floor?" James couldn't help laughing at him. Sirius got up, still non-coherent, and went and collapsed onto his bed.

"You're not in pajamas" James informed him, but Sirius had already fallen back asleep the moment his head had hit the pillow. James rolled his eyes and scooped his own pillow off of the floor. He looked over at Peter, who was also grinning, and rolled his eyes. "See you in the morning. Can't wait for when we beat Hufflepuff" he added through a yawn as he climbed back into bed.

"Night, James" Peter replied sleepily.

"G'night, Peter."

* * *

 **(Remus Lupin)**

Remus knew before he left the hospital wing that he was going to have to answer to James about missing that morning's Quidditch match. He only hoped that James would pay more attention to the fact that he'd missed the match than to the current state he was in. Madam Pomphrey had kept him longer than usual to recover, but even he couldn't fight her on it. He had needed the extra time to heal and rest. Still, the fact that he felt better than he'd felt in a week didn't make it any easier to return to his friends, and to the looks they would surely give him.

Remus had no real idea how Sirius would react either, now that his new suspicion was that his father had done this to him. It made Remus sick just thinking about it. Plus, he knew it would devastate his parents to hear that he had falsely confirmed such a horrible accusation. _Now I have to lie to them too_ , he thought guiltily _._ Would Sirius keep it a secret like he had promised? Every second of Remus' waking recovery had been mentally exhausting as he worried and stressed over what would happen when he had to face his friends.

The walk up to Gryffindor Tower was not as tedious as it had been the month before, since he had had more time to recover. When the portrait hole swung open, his ears were met with loud celebratory cheers. _I guess Gryffindor won._ The common room was more crowded than he'd seen it yet, as it was likely that nearly every Gryffindor was partaking in the celebration. Remus was grateful for it, however, as it allowed him to cross the room and go up the stairs undetected by anyone who would stop him.

Thankfully, the dormitory was empty. He hadn't seen his dorm-mates downstairs, but he hadn't really looked around for them either. He was able to shower, switch into pajamas, and get in some studying in bed before the door swung open, flooding the room with commotion. James, Sirius, and Peter came in, looking joyous.

"Remus!" James shouted, as the first one to catch sight of him. "How was your trip?"

Remus was thankful for the dim lighting at present; the shadows seemed to mask his unhidden injuries, so the others didn't seem to notice them. He knew the morning would be a different story, but he was thankful for this small reprieve.

"It was good, thank you" Remus answered quietly. _Please no more questions. Please don't make me keep lying._

"Brilliant" James cheered. "You missed the match. D'you want me to tell you about it now or at breakfast?" Remus chuckled in spite of himself.

"How about at breakfast. It's very late now."

"Alright" James replied, sounding slightly let down. To be honest, Remus was surprised that James didn't push it further.

"Missed you, Remus" Peter remarked as the other three got ready for bed. _You missed me?_ It made him smile inside and out just at the thought of having a friend who had missed him. He knew that they all noticed when he was gone, but he never dared to hope that any of them – that anyone other than his mother – would actually miss him. Sure, his father would claim to miss him as well, but Remus knew better; he was a burden to his father, the ghost of what could have been a much worthier son.

"Thank you, Peter. I missed you too." Peter smiled back, looking equally as appreciative.

It was several minutes before Remus noticed that Sirius wouldn't even look at him. He hadn't greeted him, or smiled at him, or even looked at him. Fear coursed through him instantly at this realization. _He knows! He knows!_ Why hadn't Sirius attacked him yet? Why hadn't he told the others what he was? Why hadn't he reported him to the whole castle and had him kicked out? Remus was shaking uncontrollably. _I can't stay the night in the dormitory with Sirius knowing!_

The lights were turned off, bed curtains were closed, goodnights muttered from behind curtains, and yet Remus sat up in bed, trembling with fear. He heard a noise from near his bed, and suddenly the right side of his bed curtains were opening. The figure of Sirius emerged in the darkness, wand in hand. Remus' scream died somewhere in his throat. He had almost half a mind to just let Sirius curse him, or whatever else, and slightly more than half to spring into action and try to fight him off. Yet, Remus could not decide which of the two to act upon quickly enough and so he sat silently quivering as Sirius sat down lightly on the foot of the bed, closed the curtains and muttered "Lumos".

Remus was white as a sheet, staring at Sirius with a look of horror on his face. He prepared himself to beg Sirius not to tell anyone. _I'll leave the dormitory. I'll live in the hospital wing. He'll never have to talk to me again. Just please don't make me leave school. Please don't tell everyone._

"How was it?" Sirius whispered. His face was lit up slightly by wandlight, and he didn't look angry or mean to Remus. In fact… _he looks worried._

"F-F-Fine" Remus stammered, daring to hope that he'd been mistaken, and that Sirius hadn't figured it out, and that maybe he didn't hate him.

"Are you alright?" His soft tone confirmed it.

 _Oh Merlin, thank you. He doesn't know. He doesn't hate me._

"Y-Yes."

"How're you feeling? Did it help?"

"I feel m-much better. Thanks" Remus breathed a sigh of relief. Sirius sighed as well.

"I'm glad you're back."

Remus was still shaking with the lingering fear that had built up in him, though he now felt safe – or at least safer – once more.

"Thank you, Sirius." Remus gave him a weak smile.

"Well… g'night, Remus."

"Goodnight, Sirius."

* * *

 **(Peter Pettigrew)**

Peter and James hadn't really looked at Remus until they sat down to breakfast the next morning. Peter gaped open-mouthed for half a second before realizing. Remus was clearly self-conscious about it, as he was staring down at his plate while he ate.

"Remus" James gasped.

"Be quiet, will you?" Sirius snapped back quickly. James looked apologetic and lowered his voice.

"Are you okay? What happened? When? Weren't you fine last night? Pete, wasn't he alright last night?"

 _I thought he was. I didn't look that closely._

"I… I don't know" Peter replied.

"I'm fine" Remus stated flatly, not looking up at any of them.

"No, you're not" James argued. James looked torn. "Remus, please. This is going too far. You… I'm sorry, but you have to tell us. You can't keep covering for them. Please, just-" But Sirius cut him off.

"Remus is fine, James. Let him eat breakfast in peace."

 _What? Why is he saying that? Doesn't he care anymore?_

James and Peter gaped at Sirius in utter shock; this was entirely opposite of how he'd reacted the other times Remus had returned in such a state.

"Remus," Peter tried, ignoring Sirius, "We just want to help you."

"He doesn't need your help right now" Sirius shot back rapidly. Peter slightly recoiled at being the target of Sirius' heated focus – never a safe position to be in. Yet, he couldn't help looking at Sirius in confusion; however, James jumped a little at a realization.

"You know. Don't you?" He looked at Remus. "You told Sirius?" James asked, sounding slightly offended.

"You don't have to answer that" Sirius said to Remus, who looked up warily.

"Please, all of you… I'm alright. Please, I don't want to talk about it. Ever."

"There's nothing wrong with that" Sirius asserted.

"Yes there is!" James argued, starting to get angry. To be honest, Peter was starting to become annoyed with Sirius as well. Why didn't he want them to help Remus? Why didn't he think this was a big deal anymore? Peter knew Sirius wouldn't be okay with anyone hurting Remus. This made no sense. No sense at all.

"It's Remus' own business what he does and doesn't share."

"You'll share with Sirius but not with us?" James asked in exasperation, ignoring Sirius' comment.

Peter felt a bit bad for Remus, who was shy and quiet, and who hated being put on the spot. Remus seemed to shrink in his seat under James' offended accusation.

"He didn't tell me" Sirius snapped back, angry now too. "I guessed."

This made James pause for a beat. Peter stared from one to the other to Remus. He wanted badly to help Remus, but he didn't perceive this conversation to be conducive to helping Remus at all – if anything, it had only succeeded in making Remus look ill. James took a long deep breath and then refocused on Remus with a more calm and determined tone.

"Just because Sirius thinks that it's okay not to talk about it, doesn't mean that it is. Remus…have you **seen** yourself?"

Peter's heart sunk when Remus didn't even answer; he just stared down at his lap, his shoulders slumped. Sirius took in Remus' defeated look as well, and he glared across the table at James. He held out his right arm and pointed with his other hand to a small cut on his arm.

"See this? When we went exploring under the cloak and I knocked into the suit of armor the other day, it cut me a little. Oh and this-" he rotated arms to show a small bruise on his other arm, "-I took a running leap at one of the moving staircases and just made it, but I got this. Figured you should know since you're keeping an inventory on these things. Peter, you have anything? I'm pretty sure I saw you walk into a wall yesterday after History of Magic."

Peter let out a small embarrassed chuckle at the memory – that class always made him groggy and eager to get out. He hadn't realized that anyone had seen him walk into it. He knew instantly that it had been a mistake to laugh because James whipped his head around to glare at him now too. Peter tried to look innocent and apologetic – he hadn't meant anything by it; he was on James' side on this. Yet, it wasn't enough. James shook his head at the three of them, looking furious, and then he got up and stormed towards the door of the Great Hall.

* * *

 **(James Potter)**

James was thankful that his three friends were hungry enough to go on to the Great Hall for dinner without him when he said he'd catch up to them after a trip to the loo. Instead, he headed straight for Professor McGonagall's office. He was quite familiar with how to get there from all of the times that year already that he had gone there trying to convince her to let him play Quidditch. Sometimes he had even just gone there to tack notes up to her door.

He walked determinedly. His mind was made up. He didn't like going behind their backs, but he knew what he had to do. If Remus didn't know what was good for him, and if Sirius somehow didn't care enough to help him fix it, then James would have to do it himself. He knew that he could have brought Peter with him, but then it would have seemed odd – inviting Peter to the loo. When he got to the closed office door of his Head of House, he knocked decisively.

"Come in." He heard her voice clearly through the heavy wooden door. James pushed it open and found Professor McGonagall seated behind her heavy wooden desk. He shut the door behind him and went straight up to her without delay. "Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"Can I talk to you, Professor?"

"Of course" she replied quickly, only then she added, more warily, "…as long as this has nothing to do with Quidditch. I've already given you my final word on that."

"It doesn't have anything to do with Quidditch, Professor."

He could see her face change to one of both interest and concern with this news.

"Have a seat, Potter." She nodded to the chair in front of her desk that he'd bypassed to get nearest to her. James took a step back from the desk and sat down. To his surprise, she held out a circular tin tray. "Ginger-lemon crème?"

"Thanks" James said with a sudden grin as he took one. His happy expression faded quickly when he remembered why he had come. _What's wrong with me? Smiling?_ He held the unbitten cookie in his hand. "Professor,… er…" This was more difficult than he thought. The last thing he wanted to do was betray Remus' trust. James was a Gryffindor after all, and Gryffindors were loyal. "…Well,…it's…er…about Remus."

"Alright. What about Mr. Lupin?" She sounded so calm. James took a deep breath.

"I think…" _Best to say it fast and be done with it._ "I think someone's hurting him."

It was several seconds before she spoke, and James waited on baited breath, wondering why in the world it was taking her so long to react.

"Why do you think that, Mr. Potter?"

"Because he's got bruises. Three times now he's been fine and then all of a sudden he has all these bruises. And I've tri- well we've all tried talking to him. Even Frank's tried. But he won't say. He just keeps saying he doesn't want to talk about it, but we can tell it makes him really upset. It must be someone in an upper year, but I don't know why they'd attack Remus. I don't know what to do, because he won't tell us who it is, so… well you can find out, can't you? You can stop it?" James blurted this all out very fast, and again, McGonagall took her time in answering.

"I will look into it, Mr. Potter. But, you should be aware that Mr. Lupin, like all of us, may have certain aspects of his life that he does not wish to share. As close as you all may be, you have only just met a few short months ago. I appreciate you bringing this to me, but I will also impress upon you that Mr. Lupin's business is his own. If there is something that he does not wish to speak about, then a good friend would accept that and be supportive in whatever other way he may need."

James stared blankly at her. _That's it?_ He didn't understand.

"You'll look into it?" James could keep the sarcasm and shock out of his voice. "Will you at least talk to him? Ask him yourself?"

"I will make sure that no one is harming him, yes, Mr. Potter. Now, if that is all, I suggest you return to lunch with your friends."

James nodded at her in goodbye, stood, and left the room. How she could be so calm about it, he did not know. He trusted her to do as she said, but still he left with the bothersome feeling that she had known something that he did not.

* * *

 **(Remus Lupin)**

As the last two weeks before the winter holidays progressed, Remus felt that the holidays could not be coming at a better time.

James was watching him like a hawk, trying admirably to figure out the cause of his injuries – though they had since healed. Sirius had told James that he had guessed the truth – a fact only Remus knew to be not entirely the case – and so James was determined to find out enough information to somehow be able to guess as well. Remus already knew James Potter well enough to know that he would never in a million years even remotely think that his parents would inflict such injuries.

Sirius, on the other hand, was almost equally as tiresome to be around as a result of his guess. Sirius had barely left his side since Remus had first returned. Though, Sirius was not treating him like he felt badly for him and the situation he believed him to be in. Strangely enough, Sirius seemed to be more friendly than ever. He was even opening up to him and letting his guard down more – the only time he'd ever really done that before was that whole "blood-traitor" incident. Remus was grateful that Sirius somehow felt more comfortable around him now, but his level of attentiveness was getting to be exhausting. James was the one with the energy to give him a run for his money – Remus was not.

Remus was eager to get home and see his parents, and to finally relax without having to be so secretive. It was exhausting lying to people.

"Whatcha doin' Remus?" Sirius asked him playfully. He was lying sideways on his bed, with his head hanging upside-down over the edge, staring up at Remus. Peter and James had gone to see if they could nick a couple of broomsticks and go for a fly. Remus had wanted no part in that, and – for reasons that Remus couldn't fathom – Sirius had chosen to stay with him instead of go with the others. Remus was sitting propped up on his own bed against the headboard reading the assigned History of Magic chapters. He would never admit it, but the assignment was boring even him.

Remus smirked at Sirius, who had not used words like 'whatcha' when they'd first met him. He'd picked up quite a few phrases from James over the past few months – a noticeable change from his original proper English.

"I'm reading" Remus replied, though he knew that Sirius could very well see that – upside-down or otherwise. Friends – they talked back and forth about the obvious sometimes; it was new to him, but Remus had picked that up. The other three did it all the time; Remus was less good at it, but he was slowly getting more used to casual conversation with people his own age.

"Readin' what?"

"History of Magic. You haven't read it yet, I bet. It's due tomorrow, Sirius."

"It's nearly the holidays, Remus. Nobody but you is doing any homework"

"Then nobody but I will get a good mark."

Sirius laughed.

"Well I bet I'll still get an 'O'. …Remus?"

Remus put a finger on his place in the book. Sirius was the reason that he wasn't much farther ahead on his assignments. He was perpetually interrupting.

"Yes?" he asked patiently.

"Are you happy to be going home?"

"Yeah" Remus replied honestly and then went back to reading. He'd read several pages before he realized that Sirius had never answered him. He looked over at his friend, who was now lying on the bed normally, looking pensive. "Aren't you?"

"Aren't I what?"

"Glad to be going home for a while." Sirius paused. "You've only been talking about how you can't wait to tell your brother about this and that for the past week" Remus reminded him. Sirius grinned.

"Yeah. …Yeah, that's true. …I am happy to get to see Regulus."

* * *

 **(Sirius Black)**

The morning had been hectic and bustling, but Sirius just wanted it to go slower…much slower. He was not, in any way, excited to return home. Yes, he was looking forward to seeing Regulus – how could he not be? As for his mother and father, he was significantly less enthusiastic. While James chattered on about making gingerbread houses, and Peter talked about opening presents, and Remus spoke about a big Christmas tree, Sirius could only think about one thing: his mother and father were not happy with him.

He did not have the same exciting and fun activities to go home to as they apparently did. He had Regulus – and none of them had any siblings – so at least he was not going to be alone the way they were. Yet, they all seemed so happy to be heading home. Their parents, Sirius knew, were not upset over their sorting. He thought perhaps if they had been, then things would have been more similar to his situation; however, they were not.

He had gravitated towards Carina the past few days to see if she was feeling the way that he was, but even she seemed to be looking forward to going home. Sirius wasn't about to tell any of them that he was secretly dreading it – nor was he going to let them know that he'd already counted the number of days until he'd be able to come back. Still, he hadn't given even a moment's thought to consider not going home. He would never do that to Regulus.

It wasn't that home would be so terrible, it was just that he liked the freedoms that being at Hogwarts offered. He was, at least more so than at home, able to do what he wanted when he wanted. His mother liked to fill every second of his time with things to "better himself" when he was at home. Now that he'd had a few months to see what it was like to choose how to spend his time himself, he couldn't imagine going back to such a rigid schedule. Yet, he knew he'd have to. There would be no convincing her that "idle time" wasn't "wasted time".

After a rushed breakfast in a louder than usual Great Hall, they made their way down to the train.

"Happy Christmas, Evans!" James called to Lily Evans as she walked by with Rene and that greasy-haired kid from Slytherin. She replied and Rene replied, but the third – _What was his name? Snivellus?_ – did not. "Happy Christmas, Molly!... Happy Christmas, Wood!... Happy-"

James continued to shout Happy Christmas to everyone he knew – and a few he didn't – all the way to the train. Sirius was proud at how well he refrained from telling him to bloody shut-up. The four of them found a compartment to themselves midway down the Hogwarts Express.

"I can't wait!" Peter exclaimed, bouncing up and down a little on the seat beside James. "I hope my mum made cookies."

 _She's sent you cookies a million times already._ Sirius couldn't quite understand why everyone was so excited about the holidays. Making gingerbread houses and decorating trees did sound fun, but was it really worth the level of joy everyone was giving it? Sirius didn't know. He had half a mind to bring up the gingerbread decorating to his parents; maybe they'd allow it.

"Me too!" James agreed excitedly. "I can't wait 'til Christmas. And then we always have a big party for New Year's. What are you lot getting for Christmas?"

There was a lull in the conversation a moment.

"How would we know that yet?" Peter asked, laughing.

"Well what did you ask for?" James replied. "Makes it kind of obvious doesn't it?"

Sirius laughed at him; he couldn't help it.

"You are so sodding spoilt" Sirius told him. James made a face back.

"Oh please, like you aren't going to get everything you want, Mr. Sirius Black, Primeval and Noble whatever you call yourselves?" he added with a grin.

 _Yeah right. I'm not spoilt like you._ Rather than protest, Sirius merely shrugged.

"How about you, Remus?" James pressed. "I bet you asked for a bunch of books."

"I bet Remus didn't ask for anything" Sirius muttered, thinking out loud. He hadn't really meant to be heard.

"Did you really not ask for anything?" Peter inquired, astounded. Sirius smirked as Remus looked guilty.

"Yes" he muttered, barely audibly. The other three chuckled.

"Typical Remus, I suppose" James mused. "What did you ask for, Sir?"

 _Like I'd ever ask for anything._ Anything he needed, he had. Anything that came up that he needed, or just wanted, they bought for him. But to ask for a specific gift… he knew that would not ever go over well with them. His parents were forever worried about spoiling him and Regulus. If they expressed that they liked something, it was as good as theirs, but if they asked for something directly, the answer was nearly always 'no'.

"I didn't ask for anything either."

James let out an exasperated exclamation.

"They're making us look bad, Pete!"

The remainder of the ride passed cheerfully. The happiness of the other three was infectious, and Sirius was quickly caught up in it as well, though perhaps not quite as much as the others. James and Peter shared funny stories of holidays past – sledding, parties, and baked goods. Remus didn't have any stories to share, saying that he had always had rather quiet holidays. Sirius told them about the time that he and Regulus had gotten to slide down a giant slide made of ice on one of their vacations to Norway.

When the train pulled into the station, Sirius wished that they hadn't yet arrived. He was going to miss his friends, who were unlike any people he had ever met before coming to school. They took their small bags down from the luggage racks.

"Write to me, yeah?" James told them, grinning. He could barely get out the door of the compartment fast enough. The platform was crowded with people, and none of them had been able to spot their families as the train had pulled in. "Happy Christmas and New Year. See you lot in January!"

Peter was next out the door, though he didn't bolt out quite as quickly as James had done.

"Bye Remus. Bye Sirius. Happy Christmas and New Year!"

"Thanks, Peter. You too" Remus replied happily.

"Thanks" Sirius added, not feeling particularly cheery anymore now that they had arrived in London. Remus and Sirius made their way down the train and out onto the platform together. "I should go try to find my parents" Sirius told him. They would not be satisfied if **he** was not the one to find **them**. "Have a nice holiday Remus. See you in a few weeks."

Remus smiled back at him. He looked happy to be going home, even though he'd gone home three times during the year already.

"You too, Sirius." The two parted ways with a last smile and nod of farewell. Sirius weaved his way through the densely crowded platform looking around for his family.

 _I hope they brought Regulus._


	15. Chapter 14: Home

**Author's Note:** Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I appreciate it!

 **Warning:** Abuse

* * *

 **(Sirius Black)**

The platform around him, which was full of commotion and cheer when the Hogwarts Express had pulled in, was now nearly deserted. It wasn't like his parents to be late, and Sirius wondered what could have happened that would keep them from picking him up. He sat on one of the wooden benches with his trunk beside him. It was rather cold, but he didn't want to have to dig out a heavier cloak from the bottom of his small trunk.

 _Surely they'll be here any minute. They know what time the train arrives. There'll be a reason. Still… it's odd that they didn't send someone to get me. I hope everything's alright._

His mind wandered to his younger brother, Regulus, and Sirius hoped that nothing had happened to him that could have made their parents' attention be needed elsewhere. He had felt so badly about leaving Regulus home alone with their strict unfeeling parents, but there was no way that he could have avoided it. Regulus had begged him to stow him in his trunk and take him with him to Hogwarts.

 _At least we'll be able to keep each other some company again for a few weeks. He must be so excited to see me._

Sirius grinned as he thought of his little brother, who was nearly an exact miniature of himself in appearance. The two, only one year apart, had spent every day together for as long as either of them could remember. They were tutored together, they'd get into mischief together, and they'd pay the price for it together. As he sat there in the uncomfortably frigid air, he realized for the first time in weeks that he deeply missed Regulus. He'd been so caught up in everything new and exciting at school that he had hardly thought of him at all once he'd really settled in. It seemed hard to believe, now that he was out of the fantasy of school and returning to his 'real life', that he had not given his sole lifeline to happiness more thought. They hadn't even written to one another all term – a fact that Sirius now felt a pang of guilt about. He knew Regulus must have been very lonely.

 _I should have written him. I told him that I would. Still… he didn't write to me either._

Nevertheless, he was very excited to be able to see his brother again now – or at least whenever someone finally showed up to take him home. He couldn't wait to tell him all about Hogwarts and get him even more excited to be able to attend school himself next year. The thought of his parents' and grandparents' anger over his being sorted into Gryffindor was prominent in his mind as well; he knew he'd likely be punished for it. Yet, when their rage had passed, he would at least have one friendly face for company in the huge dark estate.

Time seemed to be passing very slowly, unlike how rapidly it had sped by the past few months, and Sirius was now the only person on the entire platform. Shivering, he checked his watch and saw that he'd been sitting huddled on the bench for nearly four hours. He was beginning to get scared. Perhaps they really had forgotten him? How long would it take them before they realized, or before his mother spoke to his Aunt Druella and she informed her that the train had indeed dropped him off in London? Hours more? A day? He wished he knew how to apparate.

 _Perhaps I should go into muggle London. Grimmauld Place is in London after all. I could walk… But, I don't know the way._

There was a faint pop, and Kreacher the house elf appeared a short distance from him. Sirius had never been so happy to see his family's main house elf in all his life. The knobby elf came walking quickly toward him and gave a low sweeping bow so that his nose, and the tips of his long floppy ears, brushed the stone ground.

"Master Black. Kreacher is here to take you to Number Twelve Grimmauld Place."

"Yes!" Sirius said eagerly, grabbing the handle of his trunk. "Was there an emergency at home? Is everyone alright?"

"No emergency, Master Black, no emergency."

 _No emergency? What happened then? Why are they so late? And why did they send you instead of coming themselves?_ The elf took hold of his wrist and with a familiar jolt, Sirius found himself standing in the dimly lit grand entryway to his family's estate.

"Take that to my room" Sirius ordered, walking off quickly to find his family and see what had stopped them from getting him on time. He went first to his father's study, since it was on the first landing. The door was shut. Sirius knocked, and the deep commanding voice of his father uttered:

"You may enter."

Straightening his shoulders and standing up as straight and tall as possible – as was required – he let himself in to his father's home office and went in a few paces. It was slightly brighter than the dim hallway outside. His father was sitting behind his heavy wooden desk wearing expensive black business robes. His father glanced up at him for little more than half a second and then looked back down at his work. It had not been the welcome home Sirius had been expecting. He knew that his parents weren't pleased with him, but he had at least expected them to be glad that he was back at home.

"Hello, Father" Sirius said, trying to sound unhurt by his father's complete indifference to seeing his son after three and a half months.

"I'm very busy, Sirius. What is it you want?"

His words made Sirius pause for a moment as he took in with surprise how unaffected his father was to see him after all this time.

"I-I just wanted to let you know that I've arrived home."

"Do not stutter." His tone was very harsh, and he still had not looked back up from his work.

"Sorry, Father." There was a long pause as Sirius waited for his father to say something. He finally looked at him; his grey eyes cold.

"To be quite honest with you, Sirius, I am not at all pleased with your behavior at school. As I have already written to you, Gryffindor is a disgrace to this family, and I don't know what in the hell you were thinking. Your mother is well beyond furious. You're lucky that I arrived home early today or else you would have been waiting much longer than you were; I do not believe that she had any intention of collecting you before nightfall. Whilst my disappointment in you as an heir might not equal hers, I assure you that I have little desire to waste my time exchanging cordial greetings with you at the present time. Dinner will be served at eight. Go and make yourself presentable."

Sirius' eyes burned, but he refused to let his father see his shock and pain at his complete disinterest and outright dissatisfaction. He gave the slight nod to his father, as was expected, and exited the room. He couldn't get to his bedroom on the top floor fast enough. As soon as he got inside, he slammed the door shut and threw himself onto the emerald green satin bedding of his large bed.

 _So they left me there to wait on purpose! Father said she would not have gotten me at all before dark. And even he only sent the stupid **elf** to pick me up. I knew they were disappointed and angry, but… _He tried to push the last few hours from his mind and focus on his friends. It was best if he didn't think about anything else.

Orion Black had always been a harsh figure. He had never been caring or loving, but he had shown his affection for his children in his own way – a slight nod of approval here, or a "you've done well" there. He'd never paid particular attention to either of his sons in regard to anything but how they were doing in their lessons. When he was angry, the mean of discipline he preferred to use was calm scolding and clearly laid out rules and expectations. Sirius had not been expecting any sort of warm greeting, but he had still expected his father to show some measure of happiness over his return home.

His mother, on the other hand, was an entirely different story. She was by far the more threatening of the two. There was no way to please her; she found fault in everything her sons did. She was positively terrifying when she was angry, and her idea of retribution for even the smallest mistake included an immense amount of screamed insults and, more than often, some offensive wandwork. Sirius could only imagine what he would have to endure from her for being in Gryffindor instead of Slytherin; yet, he still felt sure that she too would get past it and move on. She had always made it her purpose to ensure that he and Regulus were worthy of the bragging that she frequently engaged in; thus, she had to house some affection for her children somewhere inside – deep inside. Despite not having a close relationship with either of his parents, Sirius had always tried to please them and make them proud.

Not wanting Regulus to see him upset so early into his return, he decided he'd wait to reunite with his brother until dinner. Sirius showered and readied himself for dinner, careful to select an outfit that his mother preferred to see him in. He made his way down to the formal dining room a few minutes before eight. He stood outside the door, waiting for the precise moment to enter; his mother tolerated nothing less than exact precision when it came to time. A few minutes later, the familiar slightly smaller figure of Regulus came up behind him.

"Hey, Reg." Sirius turned to him with a smile. He was so relieved and excited to see Regulus again.

"Hello, Sirius" Regulus replied politely, without even a hint of a smile. _He's being weird. He doesn't even look happy to see me._

"I've missed you. How've things been around here?" _I can't wait to tell you everything._

"Quieter" Regulus said, looking away from him. Sirius chuckled.

"Yeah, well, I imagined as much. How are you though?" For the briefest moment, sadness revealed itself on Regulus' face, but then he quickly returned his expression to one that was blank of all emotion. He and Regulus had learned at a very early age that to show emotion was to reveal weakness, and to be weak was something of which to be highly ashamed. Blacks were not ever allowed to be weak.

"I've been fine. Thank you for asking."

"Come on, Reg. Don't go all formal on me. I know I haven't seen you in a while, but it's still me. How are you really?" Regulus hesitated.

"Surprised and perplexed." Sirius must have looked confused, because Regulus added in explanation, "… that you weren't sorted into the proper house."

Sirius knew that his phrasing of Slytherin as 'the proper house' would have sent James off into a fit of laughter, but Sirius understood all too well why Regulus thought the way that he did.

"Listen, Reg, about that… I've learned a lot of new things at school. Things that are really different from what we've learned."

"That is the point of attending school, is it not?" Regulus sounded almost annoyed.

Sirius couldn't understand why he was treating him this way. Surely Regulus didn't care that much that he wasn't sorted into Slytherin. Why wasn't he thrilled to see him? Why wasn't he asking him the million questions about school that he had told him that he would want the answers to as soon as Sirius returned?

"Yes, but that's not what I mean" Sirius went on. He had been dying to enlighten Regulus to this newfound knowledge for ages now. "I mean that people at school don't think" he lowered his voice to a whisper "that blood purity matters at all." Regulus' grey eyes widened. There was a soft clang from the clock on the wall near them. Both of them started at the abrupt sound in the otherwise silent corridor.

"It's time to go in" Regulus said dismissively. They gave one another a quick look over to make sure that they adhered to their mother's dining standards.

Sirius had always made sure to check over Regulus' appearance – making sure that his hair was neatly combed, and his tie was straight, and his shoes were tied neatly – before going in to meals. He didn't want his brother to have to suffer through the reprimands that he had been forced to endure as a very young child when his own appearance was not quite up to his mother's standards. Sirius had been so glad when Regulus had finally been old enough to be able to return the favor of checking over him before meals as well.

Sirius straightened Regulus' tie and attempted a last brotherly smile at him, which Regulus did not return. Sirius entered the elegant formal dining room first. His mother and his grandmother were seated at the two heads of the fourteen-foot table. His father and his grandfather were off center on the sides of the table. He could see his and Regulus' chairs seated across from each of the two men on opposite sides of the table. _So mother's parents are over for dinner. Perhaps to welcome me home._ He felt a slight bit of relief flow over him. _They do care that I'm back_. He approached his mother first and gave the desired slight bow.

"Good evening, mother. I am so honored to dine at your table after so long away. It is a pleasure to see you." He didn't mean a word of it, but he knew what was expected of him.

"Do not attempt to flatter me, Sirius." Her voice came out callous. "You've already displayed your complete lack of regard for your family when you chose to be sorted into that shameful house with those blood-traitors and those filthy half-bloods."

 _I didn't **choose**. The sorting hat decides, as you very well know._ But, he knew better than to retort to her snide comment, and so he moved on to his grandmother. After walking the length of the table and bowing once more, and gave the proper polite greeting.

"Grandmother, you are looking quite well. I am so pleased to see you after such a long time." She gave him a nod but said nothing. He moved on to his grandfather next, and then to his father. When he had finished, he took his seat, which was across from his father and nearer to his grandmother's end of the table. It was Regulus' turn to make his formal rounds of greeting in the proper order as well now. After greeting their father, he turned to Sirius and gave a small bow as usual.

"Sirius, I'm glad to see that you've decided to return home for the holiday."

 _You say that like I almost didn't come. Mind you, I didn't want to, but I was always going to come._

"I was always intending to come home for the holiday, Regulus." To Sirius' astonishment, his brother looked slightly surprised. He wished he could have continued that conversation right then, but he knew that it would have to wait until after dinner ended.

The first course of the meal, which was nothing more than a cup of pureed soup, he passed in relative silence. Sirius couldn't help but feel upset that no one was asking him about how he was liking school, or even if he was doing well in his classes. In fact, his family was acting as if his return home was nothing at all. His elders were carrying on boring conversation as if he were not there at all. _Maybe they didn't come for dinner because of me after all._

Yet, as the first course vanished, and the rest of the table had a second course – salad – appearing on their plates, Sirius' plate remained empty. No one said anything. He waited, knowing that his mother would be angry if he spoke without first being spoken to. Yet, the other five people at the table ate their salads without a single glance in his direction.

 _It's fine. It isn't worth making her madder. Who cares about salad anyway?_

But when the same issue arose with the laying of the third course – steak, asparagus, and risotto – Sirius decided he had to speak up or else they would never notice the mistake.

"Excuse me" he said cautiously. Four pairs of glaring eyes were on him now, along with Regulus' scared stare. "There's no food on my plate."

His mother raised one delicate jet black eyebrow and flicked her grey eyes quickly downwards to his empty china plate.

"Has that treacherous house had such an immediate negative influence on your manners that you have the audacity to complain at my dinner table?" His mother snapped viciously. He felt his chest constrict.

"No." His answer came out in little more than a horrified breath.

"For your sake, I advise you to keep your ungrateful mouth shut. You are to be seen, not heard." He gave an obedient nod.

 _So it's not a mistake… She wants me to sit here and watch them eat._ His stomach felt funny all of a sudden. His parents had never been affectionate or loving; yet, he couldn't help but feel disheartened at his family's complete lack of care for him. Did they have to begin his punishment immediately? _Couldn't they at least have waited until tomorrow and welcomed me home kindly tonight? Even Regulus seems mad at me._

The remainder of the six-course meal, which was then followed by dessert and coffee, passed painfully slowly. After the meal ended, Regulus, as was expected, stood first and bid each of them a well-mannered compliment and adieu. When he spoke to Sirius, he sounded wary.

"Sirius, it was a pleasure …uh…eating –"

"Regulus," Walburga Black yelled loudly, causing her youngest son to jump, "do not hesitate mid-sentence like some sort of unintelligent half-breed." Then she turned her eyes on Sirius. "This is your fault. Your stupidity is already rubbing off on him and you've not even been here 24 hours. So disappointing."

"It was a pleasure dining with you" Regulus said very quickly and hurried from the room. Sirius stood up, his stomach feeling empty. His grandparents gave him no reply to his "good evening". Then he turned to his father. He never would have considered being anything but respectful and apologetic before he'd left for school, but now he was coming off of months of freedom.

"Father, thank you for at least letting me sit at the table while the rest of you ate."

The result of his comment was instant. Four screaming adults, his mother by far the loudest. He then felt a large hand grab his upper arm tightly, and his father was half-dragging him from the room. He could hear his mother's screeching following them along the hallway, down the stairs, and into the drawing room. The door slammed shut, and he was alone with his parents. His father held him roughly still, and with the other hand he pointed to Sirius' face on the Black family tapestry.

"Do you see this?" Orion boomed, but he wasn't yelling; his voice simply had that effect.

"I'm not blind, Father" Sirius said confidently. His comment was met with a slap from Orion and howled insults from his mother.

"Do you see this?" his father asked again, after his mother had stopped shrieking profanity.

"Yes, sir" he replied, shaken.

"You are the heir to the most noble and ancient family in the **world** , and you **will** damn well **act** like it. We sent you to school confident that you would uphold our family's traditions and honor. Instead you have proven yourself to be nothing but a worthless disappointment."

 _That's not true._ D _on't say that. I-I'm not…_ He was used to such insults from his mother, but never from his father.

"You are a disgrace!" his mother shrieked so loud it made his ears hurt. She was in front of him now, a towering figure in her floor-length elegant black dress and her long black hair. "You are our **heir**! Yet this is how you behave?! Associating with Gryffindor blood-traitors and mudblood filth! Have you retained **nothing** from your upbringing in that unintelligent empty head of yours, you shameful abhorrence of nature? You are a waste! Ruined!"

"You've humiliated your family" Orion continued, not loosening his grip in the slightest. "It is an embarrassment the way you allowed yourself to be sorted into that dishonorable house. What are we to do with you? Your mother and I have put so much work into you, and by Merlin we are not going to let you throw all of our efforts aside. You **will be** a proper Black heir. You **will** behave as you are told. You **will not** speak unless spoken to, and Merlin help you if you **ever** dare to talk so disrespectfully to either of us again."

"It's that vile house! He's come home thinking that he can be a disrespectful little brat. It was clearly a horrendous influence on him." She looked back down at her son. "You are supposed to be an heir! A good son! Instead you besmirch your ancestors with your horrible selfish actions and attitude. You see them?" she yelled, stepping aside to reveal the full tapestry.

"Y-Yes, M-Mother." His father jerked him roughly.

"Do not stutter" he commanded.

"Sorry, sir. Yes, Mother; I see them."

He wanted nothing more than to crumble and sink into the floor. _What's so wrong with me?_ His mother had always told him he was vile and wicked; he had always known that there was something wrong with him that wasn't wrong with Regulus, though try as he might to earn her approval, he could never seem to do so, nor could he quite understand what it was about him that made him so awful in her eyes. His father had never said such things to him before. He'd called him impudent and misbehaved, and things to that nature, but never a 'worthless disappointment'. Sirius could hardly bear it. What was wrong with him?

"Good" she answered coldly. "Right now they hate you. Every single one of them. Your living relatives are furious. As for the others, you are not fit to lick the dirt off of the shoes they wear in their coffins. They are turning over in their graves because of you. Yet we have the misfortunate responsibility of raising you into a suitable heir."

He couldn't help it; his eyes were filling with tears. He hadn't expected this, at least not from his father. Orion had always told him that he wanted his sons to be strong and powerful. Obedient and respectful, yes, but still worthy of admiration from others.

 _Is being in Gryffindor really that bad? Why didn't they tell me before the sorting? Why didn't they explain? I would have just told the hat to put me in Slytherin. I didn't know… I didn't know everyone would hate me._

"Pathetic" Walburga sneered as she saw him. "Orion, deal with him; I can't stand to look at such a worthless selfish little brat any longer." She left the room, leaving him alone with his father.

Only when the door had slammed shut did Orion look down at his son. He released his arm, though his arm still felt as if it was there. When he spoke, his voice was at least softer than it had been before.

"Compose yourself, Sirius. I will not tolerate weakness from my heir. If you cannot even tolerate a conversation you don't like, how will you manage to do anything in life?"

Sirius wiped his eyes and stood up straighter. _Please don't think I'm weak...or worthless. I didn't mean to be such a disappointment._

"Look at me." Sirius obeyed.

"Gryffindor is a disgrace." Sirius was breathing heavily now, wishing more than anything that they would just send him to his room and stop telling him how awful he was for not being in Slytherin. "You are not to associate yourself with anyone who isn't a pureblood. Nor are you permitted to fraternize with blood-traitors. You are my heir. You will uphold the Black family name. You have a duty to this family, Sirius. The same duty that I also have, and the same duty that my father and his father had before us."

Orion paused and stared at his son. He gave a sigh.

"Sit." Sirius crossed and sat in one of the winged-back chairs. Orion sat in the chair across from him. "I am going to tell you something that my father told me, Sirius. It wasn't easy to hear then, and I don't believe that you will like hearing it now."

His stomach sunk even lower. _Oh great._

"You are the heir to this family. Do you know what that means?"

"Yes, sir."

"What does it mean?"

Sirius had to pause. _It means insurmountable expectations. It means I'm 'special' and yet that means I have no control over my life. It means I was born to be unlucky and yet have everyone tell me how fortunate I am that I'm the heir and one day I'll be rich._ He knew he couldn't say these words to his father; yet, thinking of the words his father wanted to hear was more challenging than he had expected.

"It means…that one day I'll be responsible for the well-being of the family."

"That is correct. One day, everyone will be relying on you to ensure our family's positon, our power, honor, pureblood status, wealth, influence, the list goes on. You will oversee all marriage propositions. You will appoint members to our family to which occupations they will take on in order to further the family's status. The family is a unit, Sirius, and the responsibility of maintaining the unit will fall to you."

"So I will get to say whether or not people can get married?"

"Yes. They will need your permission." Sirius couldn't help it; his first thought went to Bellatrix and Rodolphus, and how much he couldn't wait to see their faces when he denied them their request out of spite.

"Like Bella?" he was careful to merely sound inquisitive rather than hopeful.

"No" Orion said, and Sirius came close to letting out a frown. "But likely you will be responsible for overseeing the marriages of her children. As well as Regulus' children."

Sirius' eyes widened. _That hardly seems fair. Does Regulus know that?_

"As such, you will also choose career paths for the next generation, that is your cousins' children and Regulus' children, as well." Orion paused once more to let this sink in fully.

Sirius had always known that his father was responsible for such things, and that, as his heir, he would one day be responsible for them as well, but he had never thought about it so literally before. He had only ever really thought about finally having the freedom to control his own life and, of course, the money to buy whatever he wanted. He had also, more so lately, thought that perhaps he could change the way his family did things in relation to cutting all ties with those they deemed blood-traitors, like Andromeda; he didn't want his family to cast off certain family members simply for loving someone who wasn't chosen for them.

"Do you agree that this is a very important role?"

"Yes, sir."

"I would think so. Yes, the role of heir has a lot of responsibility. You will be the head of the entire family unit. As such, you must behave accordingly from here on out. We have been far too lenient with you, and your sorting into Gryffindor is proof of that. You have acted selfishly and the entire family has suffered for it."

"I'm sorry, Father. I never wanted to -"

"But you did. …It does not matter what you do or do not want, Sirius. As heir, your personal desires are irrelevant. You must behave properly. You must excel in your studies and then take up a career in the political sphere. You must one day have a respectable marriage to a pure-blood within the Sacred Twenty-Eight, and you must have male heirs. You must then raise your heir to take on the responsibilities one day when it is his turn. That is your duty to your family. Whatever other plans you have for yourself, you had best extinguish them now. All eyes are on you, because you are the heir, and you represent our family. You must not disappoint me any more than you already have. Do I make myself clear?"

Sirius stared at him miserably. _So that's my whole life, is it?_

"You've made yourself perfectly clear, Father" Sirius said firmly. His sorrow at displeasing his father had changed somewhat into resentment.

"Good. Then I trust there will be no more imprudence on your part." Sirius nodded obligingly. Orion sighed once again, eyeing his eldest son with both dissatisfaction and pity. "How are you adjusting to school?"

Sirius' shoulders relaxed slightly with relief. The lecture was over. Finally, someone had asked him how school had been.

"It's been enjoyable, Father. The classes are easier than the lessons are here. I made friends."

"What are the names of these friends?" _Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned them._

"Well, there's James Potter. He's a pureblood too, sir."

"I'm aware of the Potter's lineage. Continue." _Oops._

"I have two other dorm-mates, sir. There's Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew."

"I don't recognize those names, which means that they are not purebloods, Sirius." His father sighed with disappointed exasperation. "What have we told you about people who are not purebloods?"

 _That's a loaded question. You've told me hundreds of things._

"Are they real wizards?" Orion pressed.

 _Yes! Yes they most certainly are! Though, I know that's not what you believe._

"They certainly seem to be, Father." This was evidently not the desired response. His father was glaring at him.

"They are not. They are conniving little mutants that claim to be magic and add filth to our world through their incessant breeding."

Sirius had heard such claims from his family for his entire life, but he had never met anyone who wasn't a pureblood before. Now that he had, and he was friends with them, he adamantly disagreed with the accusation and felt loathing for his father's words.

"That's not true!" Sirius shouted before he could retain himself. "I've lived with them and they are real wizards. They are just as magical as we are!"

Before Sirius could even register that he had just yelled back at his father, he was being dragged up from the chair and thrown onto the floor. Sirius watched as his father's wand dropped down into his hand from inside the sleeve of his robe. Orion Black had a quick temper, but it was very rare that he used magic for discipline.

 _He must_ _be livid._

"I'm sorry. Please, I'm sorry."

"Be quiet. You are a Black. You do not beg." Orion raised his wand and Sirius shut his eyes and cringed, waiting. Seconds passed, a full minute. He dared to look up. Orion was still there, his wand raised, his tall dark form the picture of intimidating.

"I see you've decided to open your eyes" Orion said, and there was nothing but malice in his voice. "Get up off the floor." Sirius hesitated. "You aren't a dog! Stand up!"

Sirius stood, still shaking.

"Stand up straight. Shoulders back. Head up. Eyes on me" he commanded fiercely, and Sirius complied. He had to admit that standing straight and tall before his father did make him feel more confident than cowering on the floor at his feet. "This is how an heir stands when faced with an opponent. Not trembling on the floor like some sort of muggle scum."

"Okay, sir." His voice came out small, and Orion was visibly revolted. He raised his wand higher. Without warning, a spell shot from the wand and hit him in the chest. It knocked every ounce of air from his lungs and sent him reeling to the floor, gasping for breath.

"Up. Again. We are going to do this until you can keep your eyes open like a man."

* * *

 **(James Potter)**

James had been singing Christmas carols aloud ever since he'd arrived back home the day before. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed his bedroom, and his house, and his parents while he was away. He did, however, know just how much he had been missing his broomstick. It was quite the reunion when he had arrived home.

James had gone out flying for hours shortly after returning home from King's Cross station, and again for several hours that day once daybreak came. At last, his mother had gone out to the yard and waved him to come down and come inside. James did a last glorious loop around the large Potter estate, and then turned the tip of his broom into a steady descend towards the stone front porch. He was fortunate enough that they owned a lot of rather woodsy, secluded land, so that he could fly around at home as he pleased without having to worry about being seen by any muggles.

"James, dear," he heard his mother saying from the kitchen when he came inside. Twinkle, their house elf came hurrying up to him.

"Would you like me to put away your broomstick, Master James?" Twinkle asked

"Sure, Twinkle. Thanks" James said, smiling. He'd even missed Twinkle. He handed over his broom and his wet winter gear to the elf and then headed through the brightly sunlit atrium, around the corner, down a wide lavish hallway with white oak-paneled walls, and into the kitchen.

His mother was in there rolling out ginger bread: his favorite. She smiled at him.

"I know that you've missed your broomstick, James, but I'd love to be able to spend a little time with you before you go back to school."

James hopped up onto one of the stools at their overhanging marble counter. He stuck his finger into the nearest bowl of colored frosting – green – and then scooped some of it into his mouth. His mother raised her eyebrows at him, but she didn't tell him off. She'd missed him too much to tell him off; he knew that.

"So, you're bribing me with gingerbread cookies, are you?" he asked her with a smirk.

"I most certainly am." He laughed.

"Aw, Mum. You don't have to bribe me with cookies to spend time with you…not that I'm complaining." She laughed at him. "…Zonko's products work too."

"Tell me more about your time at school. I want to hear everything." Just then, James' father turned into the kitchen.

"Did I hear James Potters' voice?" he teased knowingly. Dorea rolled her eyes, knowing what was coming.

"You heard correct" James said back, mocking a commentator's voice.

" **The** James Potter? Star-chaser for England?"

"The very same!" James replied beaming.

"Merlin's beard! This must be my lucky day! My son's a huge fan." James laughed, and Charlus Potter sat down on the stool next to him and pulled him into a sideways hug. "How was flying today? It's quite nippy out."

"Not too cold for me" James assured him confidently. _Star-chasers don't cut practice short because of it being cold out._ "It was brilliant. Can I bring my broom back with me to school?"

"Well-" his father began, but his mother cut him off.

"James, we've been over that already. It's against the rules."

"But Mum-"

"I don't want to have the discussion again, young man" she replied calmly.

"Dad-" James tried, but Charlus chuckled and shook his head.

"If your mother says 'no' then the answer is 'no.'"

"Charlus" Dorea said a little harsher. Charlus gave a guilty grin that was clearly the same one that he had passed on to his son.

"That's not to say it was her decision alone" he corrected. "I agree with her. You should be following the rules."

"Did **you** always follow the rules?" James asked, knowing full well that the answer was 'no'. The look on his face showed his father that he knew the answer was 'no' too.

"I think we should make the gingerbread cookies into hippogriffs" Charlus said, blatantly changing the subject. It made all three of them laugh.

"Ha!" James called him out. "I knew it."

* * *

 **(Sirius Black)**

A few days had passed since he had arrived back home, and Sirius had never hated the place more. Meals had continued to be scarce, yet he was obligated to sit through their entirety while the rest of his family ate the proper amount of courses. His father ignored him completely, and his mother would never shut-up about what a horrible selfish disgraceful son he was. His lessons had resumed where they'd left off, and Sirius found that Regulus had now nearly caught up to him, seeing as Sirius had not had lessons for several months and Regulus was always so eager to please.

His days were tedious, and consisted of an assortment of lessons that varied by day. His lessons included French, Latin, dueling, etiquette, piano, violin, ballroom dancing, and lineage. He had not been invited to dine at breakfast even one day, and so he usually began his 9am lessons with his eyes still half open and his stomach growling.

He'd not been permitted to use any of their family's owls to send mail. As far as he could tell, his so-called friends hadn't sent him any letters either; yet, he had a hunch that his father would not have permitted him to receive them even if they had written to him. The whole situation made him feel even more lonely.

Regulus was still acting oddly – almost angry - towards him, and had yet to so much as smile at him or attempt to speak to him if it was not a necessary question about their lessons. Sirius was positive by now that Regulus believed he had indeed embarrassed the family by being sorted into Gryffindor instead of Slytherin.

Sirius had also managed to work out that his parents must have lied to his brother and told him that Sirius had not planned to come home for the holiday. Sirius tried multiple times to once again – as he had already mentioned at his first dinner back – explain to Regulus that he had always intended to come home for the school break, and that had not been forced to return – as Regulus seemed to believe. Sirius understood why Regulus would be mad at him if he truly believed that Sirius would have left him alone at home for the entire break when he could have come back to visit him. He also understood that his parents – or at least his mother – would have lied to Regulus to turn him against him out of spite. She was manipulative that way.

Yet, no matter how many times Sirius grabbed his younger brother's arm and said "I swear I was never going to stay at school and leave you here" or "Regulus, please. I miss you. Just talk to me", his brother would shy away without more than a sad disbelieving glance. Sirius didn't understand how so much could change between them in a matter of a few short months.

 **.**

 _Regulus was lying on Sirius' bed watching as Sirius happily went around the room packing things into his new school trunk. The next morning, he would be getting on the Hogwarts Express and heading off to school for the first time ever; he'd never been more excited for anything in his entire life._

 _"I don't think they'll notice if I'm gone, Siri." Sirius stopped what he was doing – digging around in one of his drawers – to look back over at him with a 'we've-already-been-through-this' look on his face. The one downside – and it was a huge one – to finally being old enough to go to Hogwarts was that Regulus wasn't old enough yet._

 _Sirius and Regulus had always been very close, spending every day together, and not really having the opportunity to see many other people. Sirius knew he was going to miss his brother, but that wasn't enough to curb his excitement about leaving home. What did matter enough to do so was the fact that he'd be leaving his brother unprotected. Yes, Regulus had always done a better job at following rules than Sirius had, but he was by no means perfect to their parents' high standards._

 _Sirius hated that he'd have to leave him. He couldn't imagine what he'd be feeling like if it were him being left behind in their dimly lit stuffy home with no one but their parents and the house elves for company – if any of them could even count as suitable company. Their father mostly ignored Regulus, and their mother … she mostly only spoke to her sons when she was angry. He knew Regulus would be incredibly lonely._

 _His brother was bright, smiley, and silly, but Sirius had an unspoken fear that Regulus wouldn't still be that way when he returned from school to visit. Months of relative solitude in such a dreary environment were bound to take their toll on him. Not to mention the fact that Regulus was even more afraid of their parents than he was. Still, Sirius tried not to let his brother catch on to the fact that he was worried for him; it wouldn't make things any easier for Regulus if Sirius openly confirmed that he had reasons to be so sad and afraid._

 _"Please don't start that up again, Reg. You know I can't take you with me."_

 _"Please Siri! I'll be so good. Just please take me with you. Please don't leave me here alone with them."_

 _"Reg, I can't. I would if I could, but it's not allowed. You don't even have a train ticket."_

 _"I can stay in your trunk. And then I'll stay down in your dorm room and …and I'll do all your homework for you…and you'll only have to bring me food once a day. Please, Siri!"_

 _Sirius gave a sad sigh. There was nothing he could do, and Regulus had to know that already._

 _"I'm sorry Reg." Regulus got off the bed and came to stand in front of him. Regulus was a few inches shorter than him, but otherwise the resemblance between the two brothers had always been quite striking._

 _"Please!" Regulus begged loudly. "I can't be here alone. You're the only one who talks to me, Siri. I'm going to be all alone."_

 _"Mum talks to you" Sirius tried, knowing that it was a weak argument. His little brother looked ready to burst into tears._

 _"Mum yells at me. That's different. Please, Siri. If you leave me here alone I'll…I'll just disappear." Sirius cocked an eyebrow to feign amusement for his brother's sake, trying to keep him calm. Regulus had the strangest way of putting things sometimes._

 _"That'd be a neat trick."_

 _"I mean it!"_

 _"What are you talking about, Reg?"_

 _"I'll be all alone and no one will talk to me, and I'll just die without you here, Siri. Please, you have to take me with you. Please." Sirius' expression softened to sympathy._

 _"You won't just stop existing, Regulus" he said gently. "I'll still be thinking about you. I'll write back and forth with you, and I'll come home and visit you on the breaks."_

 _"It won't be the same" Regulus cried. Sirius' stomach knotted seeing Regulus so upset._ There's nothing I can do, Reg. I'm sorry.

 _"It's only for a few months, Reg" Sirius tried. "Next year you'll get to come with me. Then we'll get to have whole new adventures together. And maybe we'll both join the Quidditch team and then we'll get to fly together all the time. I'll go first and scout out all the best things to do at the school so by the time you come, I can show you."_

 _"Please just take me with you" Regulus whined again._

 _"Stop it, Reg. I can't do that and you know it. Stop making me feel guilty about it. I didn't make the rules." Regulus let out a sob. Sirius felt his own eyes stinging. "Reg…Reg…shh. You're going to be fine."_

 _"What if you go and you have so much fun that you forget all about me?" Regulus choked out. Sirius narrowed his eyes at him sarcastically._

 _"Who are you?" Sirius asked him flatly, jolting Regulus from his crying. He looked up at him in confusion. "Come on, let me hear it. Who are you?"_

 _"R-Regulus Black." Sirius rolled his eyes and let out a small laugh._

 _"Well yes, but that's not what I meant. You're my brother, Reg. My only brother… and my only friend. How could anyone or anything ever make me forget about you?"_

 _Regulus gave a small shrug._

 _"That's what I thought" Sirius with a grin as he nudged Regulus playfully in the shoulder. "I could never forget about you, just like you could never forget about me. Right?" Regulus nodded. "That's right." He put his hands on Regulus shoulders as he looked down at him. "You just have to be good for her, okay?"_ Merlin, please be good for her and stay out of trouble. _"Just do whatever she tells you. You're good at that. You can do that, can't you, Reg?"_

 _Regulus nodded, still looking very scared and sad. Sirius gave him a weak forced grin._

 _"Just behave and they'll leave you be. She likes you better anyway, so you should be fine." Regulus sniffled. "We'll write, and I'll be back before you know it."_

 _To Sirius' grief, a new rush of tears flooded his brother's light grey eyes. Sirius pulled him into a stiff hug. They weren't used to hugging, but to Sirius' surprise, even Regulus wrapped his little arms around his waist._

 _"I h-hope you h-have f-fun at sc-sc-school" he sobbed into Sirius' shoulder. The part that made Sirius feel guiltiest was that he knew Regulus genuinely meant it._

 **.**

The house was lonelier than ever before without Regulus to talk to and keep him company. Despite the fact that he sat next to him for tutored lessons several hours per day, his brother felt more distant than he had when he had still been at Hogwarts. Still, Regulus was his brother and his friend, and he was determined to make him realize the truth.

Thus, it was a rainy afternoon when Sirius passed Regulus' doorway and saw his brother laying on his stomach with papers sprawled all around him on the floor. Regulus was writing, or at least that's what it looked like until Sirius walked in.

He knew he should have knocked; Regulus had always afforded him that courtesy, but he didn't want to risk his brother's rejection. At first Regulus didn't even notice his entrance. He was so focused on what he was doing – writing out musical notes. The papers around him were covered in notes, some hand-written and others already known masterpieces. His own work was detailed and complex, representing multiple clefs, and instruments. If Sirius had to guess, he'd say his brother was composing a piece, and not just for one instrument, but for a full symphony orchestra. His brother had always loved classical music.

"What's all this, Reg?" Sirius asked, trying to sound as amiable as possible. Regulus gave a start and then looked up at him, his face reddening.

"It's nothing."

"You've got quite a lot of nothing all over your bedroom floor" he added with a smile. _Please, Reg. Just talk to me. It's still me. I'm in Gryffindor, but it's still me._

"Leave me alone, Sirius."

"Aren't you tired of being alone?" It was an honest question. Regulus looked away, his eyes glaring at some point on the wooden floor across the room.

"Like you care."

"Reg, I do care" Sirius said earnestly, sitting cross-legged in front of his brother. He was careful to move the papers aside and not to sit on them. "I don't know exactly what she said to you, but it wasn't true. I mean, I did disgrace the family by being in Gryffindor, and I'm sorry if that hurt you, but it doesn't change who I am. I was never planning to stay at school and not come back and see you."

"Why should I believe you?" Regulus huffed.

"Do you think that being in Gryffindor makes me a different person?"

Regulus paused for a couple minutes and then looked up at him. Sirius did his best to wait patiently. When he spoke, he sounded close to tears.

"She called you a traitor." Even after he'd read them in her daily letters and heard her yell them in person, the words still hurt, especially coming from his brother's mouth. Sirius grimaced.

"It doesn't matter" Sirius told him firmly. "What matters is that we're brothers, and we're friends, and I need you to know that I wasn't going to just leave you here and not visit."

"You didn't write me back" Regulus said, his eyes now swimming. "I sent you all those letters and you never wrote me back. Not even once."

"What letters?" Sirius asked in alarm. "Reg, I never got any letters from you. I only ever got letters from Mum and Father and the grandparents. I never got any letters from you."

"I wrote you every day. Mum said that you didn't like our family anymore and that you refused to come home. You never even wrote me back once, and then you w-weren't even going to c-come visit me." He was crying now.

"Reg, no. Please don't cry." Sirius made towards him to consul him, but Regulus jerked away quickly.

"You're a l-liar, Sirius. You said you'd write to me. You promised, but you didn't." Sirius felt a stab of guilt. He had promised that, and he hadn't sent Regulus any letters.

"I'm sorry, Reg. I'm so sorry. I got so caught up with school and the term went by so fast. But I swear I never got any of your letters. Not even one. Are you sure Mum sent them?"

"Of course she did."

"Did you see her send them? Did you see her, or did you just give them to her? She's very mad at me, Reg. Maybe she didn't send them."

Then it hit him. Yes, of course that was the case. It was exactly the sort of spiteful manipulative thing that she would do. As if her personality wasn't proof enough, it suddenly made sense why Rabastan, of all people, had confronted him at school about not replying to his letters, and then had gotten so furious when Sirius had responded that he didn't write to people he didn't like.

 _Rabastan must have been writing back and forth with Regulus. Of course Mum sent **those** letters. Reg must have told him that I wasn't answering him. I thought Rabastan was talking about my parents, but he thought I was talking about Regulus. Rabastan was trying to stick up for him… _ His heart sunk in his chest. _Merlin, I hope he didn't tell Regulus what I said. I wasn't talking about Regulus when I said it._

"She wouldn't do that."

"Regulus, I never got them. I got letters every day from home, but none of them were from you."

"I don't believe you."

"Regulus" Sirius pleaded, "I swear I would have written you back if I'd known you were sending me letters." Regulus' expression hardened briefly.

"Even if you didn't get them, which I don't believe, you don't need a letter from me first in order to write to me. Did you send me any letters? Even one?"

 _No. I'm so sorry, Reg. No. I…I was so caught up in school, and making friends, and learning about the world outside this house… I should have. I wrote to you but I never sent it. I know I told you I would. I'm so sorry…_

Sirius could only stare at him – his little brother, who he now realized was more than just angry at him over lies his mother may have spread. Regulus didn't care if he was in Slytherin or not, at least not in the way that the rest of his family cared. Regulus must have been miserable over the past months, all alone terrified of their parents and thinking that his brother suddenly wanted nothing more to do with him. Sirius knew his mother must not have sent Regulus' letters to him, which meant that if he had written to Regulus, she probably would have intercepted those as well. He could always lie…to spare Regulus' feelings and reveal their mother as the manipulative person that she was…only…he really hadn't sent any letters to Regulus, and that guilt was stopping him from lying.

Regulus' face remained firm.

"Just get out."

"Please, Regulus. I'm so sorry. I swear I'll write to you next term. I promise" Sirius begged.

"That doesn't mean anything to me now!" Regulus shouted, rising to his feet. "Your promises are lies. Get out and leave me alone. It shouldn't be that hard for you to forget about me again."

"Regulus, please just – "

"Get out before I tell Mum that you won't leave me alone" Regulus threatened, and Sirius retreated.

 _You wouldn't do that. You wouldn't do that to me._ But he couldn't take the risk; Sirius backed out of the room and Regulus slammed the door in his face.

Sirius stood there in shock, letting the guilt sink in, as he heard his brother start weeping on the other side of the door.

* * *

 **.**

 **.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing!**


	16. Chapter 15: When it Matters Most

**Thank you for the reviews on last chapter! I appreciate them!**

 **.**

 **.**

* * *

 **(Remus Lupin)**

Remus stood from his bed and walked quietly over to his door. He could hear that his parents were at it again, arguing on about their problems. They always kept it quiet, and he knew how they tried to hide it from him, but he knew they weren't happy. It wasn't that they weren't happy in their marriage, no, it was him. It was him and his "situation" as they preferred to put it. It never gave them any peace.

 _I wonder if they argued this much when I was away at school. I wonder if they could forget about me a little, just enough to be happy._

He didn't want to hear what they were saying, but he couldn't help himself. He noiselessly opened his door just a crack, and he leaned his head against the doorframe to listen, as he had done more times than he could count growing up.

 **.**

 _The six-year-old boy leaned against the doorframe, shaking like a leaf. He didn't know if tonight was the night, but he felt like it was. He felt sick and completely exhausted the way he always did before it happened. He'd pestered them earlier, asking them if it was tonight, but they hadn't given him a straight answer; instead they'd distracted him with other things and made him forget that it could be the night that it happened again._

 _Now it was nearing sunset and he couldn't forget._ Please not tonight. Not this month. Just not this month. _He didn't understand. They'd told him before that it wasn't his fault…that they were sorry that they couldn't stop it from happening…that tomorrow he could eat as much ice cream and chocolate as he wanted…but yes, when the moon came up he would have to go to the basement. Lately he'd been thinking that if only they didn't make him go to the basement, maybe it wouldn't happen. If they would just let him stay upstairs…_

 _When he was younger, he'd go to sleep in his own bed only to wake up on the bed in the basement in pain; it was terrifying. For a long time, he was afraid to ever go to sleep, in case he woke up in the basement. Now he had learned that it wasn't just any night that it would happen. It never happened too close together, though it always seemed like never very long in between. He had also learned to recognize the warning signs. He would get sick - so sick that it was hard to get out of bed - and that was when it would happen. That was when they'd bring him to the basement and lock him down there._

 _Their basement had not been an awful place, and if he did not have to endure what would happen to him, he would not have entirely disliked being down there. It didn't have any windows, but it had a tile floor and walls painted light blue. It was warm and brightly lit. It had a bed with blankets and pillows, which Remus had grown to hate. It also had a large bathtub that had not been there originally, which was always filled with clean cold water when he went down there and was nearly empty when he left._

 _Remus heard his father's footsteps drawing nearer to his door. He backed away from the door hurriedly, hoping that his father would turn into his own bedroom instead of going to Remus' at the end of the hall._

Not tonight. Not tonight. Not tonight.

 _The door pushed open and Remus instantly knew. His father had the resigned, longsuffering expression that he always had right before he came to force him into the basement. Remus stared at him, momentarily too scared to speak or move._

 _"_ _Remus" Lyall said softly. "How're you feeling?"_

 _Remus' mind was racing and his heart was pounding._ _He shook his head 'no' frantically and backed away further until he hit the wall opposite the door. His father didn't move from the doorway; instead, he kneeled down._

 _"_ _Remus, I'm sorry. It is tonight. But we will get you the first-"_

 _"_ _No!" Remus shouted. "It doesn't have to be tonight."_

 _It was the same conversation they had every month. It was always the same. Lyall shut his eyes for a moment and took a few breaths before opening them again._

 _"_ _Remus, it has to be tonight. It's not up to us. I'm sorry" his voice cracked. "Merlin, I'm so so sorry. You have to come with me though, Remus. Come on, now."_

 _"_ _No" Remus sobbed, shaking his head. "Can't I just stay in my room? It won't happen if I can just stay in my room."_

 _"_ _Remus, I've told you… It doesn't work that way… And you don't want to ruin your nice room, do you? Come on. Please come nicely. We don't have a lot of time."_

 _His father waited over a minute but Remus did not come any closer to him, nor was he going to. So then his father stood up and walked slowly towards him. Remus knew he would pick him up and bring him to the basement. He collapsed to the floor, making himself as heavy as possible, and screamed at the top of his lungs. It didn't stop him from being lifted off of the floor, carried out of his room, down the hall, and down the stairs to the basement._

 _His mother was already down there, fluffing up the pillows and the down comforter, which would be only feathers come the morning._

 _"_ _Remus, love. Remus." Her voice calmed him enough for him to stop screaming. He momentarily stopped struggling and looked around for his mother. He felt her hand on his back a moment later. "Hi, sweetheart. Shh, now. It's going to be alright in the morning."_

 _His father put him down on the bed and his parents sat down on either side of him._ I could make a run for the door. _It wasn't a new thought; he'd tried running before, but they'd always caught him. His mother had him wrapped in her arms tightly._

 _"_ _We love you so much, Remus. We're so sorry. In the morning, we will come and bring you upstairs straight away. Mummy will make you whatever you'd like when you're ready to eat. Even cake. And I will read to you whatever story you pick. We can do whatever you want."_

 _They sat with him a short while longer – it didn't feel long enough; it never did._

 **.**

Remus could tell that they were in the kitchen. They had a rather small house, a cottage really, and voices carried.

"It's not for over a week, Lyall" his mother said in a hushed irritated voice. "There's no reason why you can't take him-"

"I said 'no', Hope. I said 'no'" his father's angry whisper shot back with finality. "There'll be several Ministry officials there. They could notice something."

"For Heaven's sake, Lyall! He was at a school for months and no one noticed."

"That we know of" he shot back.

"Don't do that" she said angrily. "Don't discount it. He fits in fine. All these years I have believed your paranoia that people with magic would catch on instantly. But they haven't. It's you who sees him differently. No one else notices a thing."

"Those were children, Hope. A bunch of kids. It's not the same as having the Head of Magical Law Enforcement there. I won't put him in a position where he is going to be scrutinized."

"Scrutinized? Lyall, it's a Quidditch match, not a trial. Take your son to see a match."

"I've already said 'no', Hope. I won't endanger-"

"Don't you dare" she cut him off. "This is about you, Lyall. You don't want to worry that someone might say something you don't like about your son, so you're not taking him. It's not about his safety. Don't you dare try to make it sound as if you're the only one who pays mind to our son's safety."

"I never said that, and that is not true" Lyall objected, sounding very frustrated. Remus shut the door. He didn't want to hear any more of it.

So his father was going to a match with his co-workers, probably solely for work, since his father wasn't the type to watch a match, or to spend money on anything leisurely. Remus didn't have a strong liking for the sport either, but he would have liked to go somewhere with his father if he'd been invited. Now, even if his mother won the argument, and his father did invite him, Remus would make himself say 'no thank you'. His father obviously didn't want to bring him and was ashamed of him.

Sure enough, after dinner that evening, his father spoke up about it. The three of them sat at the kitchen table.

"Remus" he said, not looking at him and instead choosing to look at the vase of wild flowers on the table as if he were excusably distracted by it. "The head of my department at the Ministry has invited me to attend an upcoming Quidditch match this week for business. Would you like to come?"

If Remus had not been privy to his parents' earlier conversation, he would have been ecstatic to have been invited to go somewhere with his father. Only he had heard their argument, and so he knew better than to mistake this for any kind of acceptance. _He doesn't really want me to go. He's worried about taking me. He's ashamed of having me for a son._ It left him feeling far less than confident in himself.

He looked over at his father but he didn't look at him, so Remus looked at the vase of flowers as well.

"Thank you for inviting me, Dad, but I think I'd rather stay here with Mum." Both of his parents looked at him, visibly surprised. He felt he had to offer an explanation of sorts. "I just haven't been home in a while, and I was able to watch a lot of Quidditch matches at school already. Is that okay?"

"Of course that's okay, honey" his mother assured him warmly. "I'd love to have you with me. I've missed you so much!"

Remus nodded and gave her a weak smile. He hoped she couldn't read through it.

"Well, alright then" Lyall said, and Remus could just tell that he was relieved. Remus swallowed and then drained the rest of his tea.

"So, tell us more about your friends, dear" his mother asked with a warm smile as she poured him another cup of tea. Remus knew how happy she was for him. Her son had finally made friends – _I was finally normal enough to make friends. At least until they find out about me. Then I'll be lucky if I'm not driven out of the school._

His father seemed to share a similar mentality to his own. Lyall's grip tightened around his own coffee mug at the mention of Remus having friends. _Is he worried for me or worried for them?_

"They're my dorm-mates, Mum" Remus explained, trying to appease both his mother and his father. _See, I have friends but I didn't go out of my way to lie to people to make friends. I'm keeping my distance…sort of._

"Yes, of course, dear. What are their names?" she asked him brightly, determined to ignore her husband's lack of joy over his son's triumph. Though, at her question, Lyall turned his head towards Remus.

 _He wants to see if he recognizes the names. I'm probably going to school with some of the kids of people he went to school with._

"Peter Pettigrew" Remus began, stealing a glance at his father, who looked away uneasily. His father never could seem to look him in the eye. His mother put a hand on Remus' arm, clearly trying to compensate for Lyall's lack of affections. As a muggle, she had not been raised with any of the prejudices against werewolves that those in the wizarding world were brought up with; as such, she saw his horrible condition as an illness, but not as a lack of humanity or something to be ashamed of in any way.

"He's the one who is a bit shy you said, right, Remus?" his mother asked.

"Yes. He's very nice though."

"I'm sure he is, honey."

"One of my other … dorm-mates is James Potter."

"Potter?" Lyall spoke up gruffly. "Charlus' son?" Remus replied without looking at his father; instead he looked down at his mug.

"I don't know his father's name."

"Right, right" Lyall muttered softly. "I wouldn't expect you to, Remus. I'm sure you all had more exciting things to talk about than your parents."

Hope Lupin smiled.

"Did you go to school with Charlus, Lyall?"

"No, dear. Charlus is older than I am. Good man though. Good family. I know him from the ministry. I do remember him saying that he had a son currently at Hogwarts."

"Well that's lovely then, Remus, isn't it?"

"Yeah" Remus agreed for politeness' sake. _I don't really care whether or not Dad likes his father._ "James is always making jokes." Hope's smile broadened.

"Good. I need someone to keep you smiling while you're so far away from home."

"My third friend – dorm-mate" he quickly tried to correct for his father, "is Sirius Black."

"That's lovely –" But his mother's words were interrupted by his father's almost panicked outburst.

"Black?" Lyall asked loudly. He rose to his feet.

"Lyall, what on Earth is the matter?" Hope asked in shock.

"How much does he know, Remus?" Lyall asked, sounding worried. "You were careful, weren't you? Hope, he can't share a room with that boy."

 _That boy?_

"Why not? What's wrong?" she asked.

"That family is horrible, Hope. Absolutely horrible. Prejudiced beyond belief. They think anyone who isn't a pureblood is scum, I can only imagine how they'd react if they found out about Remus. That boy is dangerous, Remus."

 _No he's not!_ Remus' first reaction was to defend his new friend. Yes, Sirius could be more than a bit intimidating, but he wasn't a bad person. _You don't even know him. You're judging him based on his family, just like everybody else does. He's not like that._

"He's not, Dad. He's not prejudiced like his family."

"Really, Lyall. He's just a little boy. I'm sure it's fine – "

"No" Lyall asserted firmly. "No, it is not fine. He may be a free-thinking little boy now, but that is not what he will stay. You two don't understand. That family is … they've got their hands in every facet of the ministry. If they find out that their son is sharing a room with a w-" he caught himself mid-sentence; Remus burned with humiliation. "….with Remus, they will have the power to have Remus kicked out of school…or worse. Remus, you can't share a room with him. I'm writing to Dumbledore tonight. I don't know what he was thinking putting you in danger like that. That family is vicious."

"I know his family is bad Dad, but he isn't" Remus informed him pleadingly. "He's my friend and he doesn't even get along with his cousins or his parents."

"Remus" his father said a bit calmer. He sat back down and tried to explain more empathetically. "Please listen to me. You are eleven years old, and you are just starting to make impressions of these people. I have dealt with that family in the past, and if there's one thing they do it's stick together. I know you think he's your friend, but you'll make **better** friends. It's too big of a chance to risk him finding out about you. Even if he's not prejudiced now, which I find it very hard to believe, he's going to grow up, and then he will be. His whole family is bigoted Remus; they think they're better than everyone else, and one day he'll think the same. He'll side with his family in the end; most people always do."

"But-" Remus protested – usually he never argued back in such a way, but he had to in this case – "I don't want to switch rooms. I like my dorm-mates. They're nice to me, and they care about me. And…and they even miss me when I'm gone."

"Would they miss you if they knew what you were doing while you were gone?" Lyall shot back.

"Lyall" Hope nearly yelled in surprise. Remus stared back at him with a stunned pained expression on his face. _He's right. If they knew…they wouldn't miss me. They'd despise me._ His father paled and calmed down slightly.

"I don't mean that against you, Remus. I mean it against them. Especially Black. He would not miss you if he knew. He would be blinded by prejudice."

The words drove home what Remus had always feared: being rejected by his new friends once they found out his secret.

"But won't everybody be?" Remus asked, tears rushing to his eyes. His father stared at him a moment before giving the soft but definitive reply.

"Yes." The words stung, bringing more tears to his eyes.

"Then what's the point in trying to make better friends? Everyone who would find out would hate me, so why does it matter if I switch dormitories or not?"

"Please don't get upset" Lyall asked him gently. "I'm not trying to make you upset. I'm just trying to keep you safe."

"What good is being safe if I can never have any friends, or be in school, or go to Quidditch matches?" Remus blurted out. He froze as soon as the words left his mouth. The three of them remained in shocked silence for a few moments.

"His family is more dangerous and powerful than most of the others you could end up with" Lyall explained at last.

"You want him to have a room by himself?" Hope asked her husband.

"Of course I do."

"I don't want to be in a room by myself" said Remus, starting to panic. "What will everyone think?"

"He's right, Lyall. Switching his dormitory will only draw attention to him. Remus is very careful. Has everything been going smoothly, Remus? Has anyone given you any trouble or asked you too many questions?

 _Yes._

"No, Mum." _Liar_. Lying, even to his parents, was somehow easier now. He still hated it, but he now knew how to use the skill to his advantage. "Everything has been going well with them."

"You'll tell us the moment that it isn't? And you'll go straight to a professor?" Lyall pressed.

"Yes" Remus answered softly. Lyall let out a heavy sigh of discontent.

"He's a Black. You can't trust him, no matter what you think you know about him. He will side with his family when it matters most. Remember that Remus."

* * *

 **(Sirius Black)**

 **.**

 _"_ _I'll race you!" Sirius called, as he sprinted down the hall on the first floor._

 _"_ _I'll win!" Regulus shouted back, running after him as fast as his five-year-old legs could take him. Sirius waited for him at the bottom of the stairs._

 _"_ _All the way up to the top. First one all the way on our floor wins. Ready…Set…Go!"_

 _The two clambered up the stairs on all fours and then dashed along the long narrow corridor to the next flight of stairs. Sirius was in the lead, but Regulus was right on his tail. Before long, they were on the third staircase, the final stretch of their well-practiced race. Sirius slipped on one of the steps as a result of silk socks, and Regulus passed him. But Sirius was quick to regain the distance, and both boys launched themselves at the top landing at the same time._

 _"_ _I won!" They both shouted simultaneously. They were laughing hard and still trying to catch their breath._

 _"_ _Rematch?" Sirius asked grinning wildly._

 _"_ _Race you down first" Regulus said smirking. Both boys scrambled to their feet and stood positioned at the top of the stairs._

 _"_ _Ready…" Sirius began, and Regulus laughed with excitement, "Set…Go!"_

 **.**

 _…_ _What was that yelling? There had not been yelling that day…._

"Get up now!" His mother's scream pierced his consciousness and Sirius jolted awake. She was hitting his thick blankets. "Get up, you lazy child!"

"I'm up!" Sirius shouted, trying to roll out of her reach. "I'm up!" He looked at her in shock. She hardly ever demeaned herself to waking her children; she found the task utterly beneath her.

His mother stood by the edge of his bed, her hands now on her hips. She was an unusually thin, yet curved woman. She had been born with the same characteristics as were common in the Black family, jet black hair, startlingly grey eyes, and stunning attractiveness. Today she was wearing yet another expensive gown, and she was decked out in massive jewels that had been in the family for generations. She was perpetually overdressed. Her hair was curled and only slightly pinned up, thus accentuating her high cheekbones and narrow face. She was young compared to many mothers, for she had been eighteen when she had had her first son.

Get up and make yourself useful" she said coldly. "I'm having an event tonight, and you will be expected to play Frederic Chopin's, 'March Funèbre.'"

"Is your event a funeral, mother?" Sirius asked with feigned innocence. She saw through his mock virtue, per usual.

"It will be, if you don't behave." He rolled his eyes. "Do not roll your eyes at me, Sirius."

"Anything else?" Normally he wouldn't risk making her angry, but he knew that she wanted to be able to show him off tonight, and so she would be more lenient than usual. She glared at him.

" **Mind** your tone. Yes, you will also play Mozart's 'Rondo alla Turca' and…" she paused to think, and Sirius suppressed a grin; he actually loved that piece.

"…Regulus' new piece."

 _What?_

"Did you say Regulus?"

"Yes. Also, I want you to wear the emerald robes this evening."

 _Of course you do._

"Yes, Mother" he replied through gritted teeth.

"Now get out of bed and go join your brother in the music room." She turned on her heel and left. Sirius let out a huge sigh of frustration and collapsed back down onto his back.

Not long after, Sirius found himself in the music room with Regulus. He walked in on his brother playing Pachelbel's Canon in D on the black grand piano located in the center of the room. It was light and happy and Regulus had had it memorized since he was six.

Sirius stopped to listen before making his presence known. Regulus had always had a flare for music that neither he, nor his cousins, had possessed. Regulus didn't simply perform a piece; when Regulus played music his audience could feel it. When he finished, Sirius cleared his throat politely and entered the room fully. Regulus slid off of the piano bench and sat in one of the cushioned chairs without looking at him.

"I can wait until you're done practicing" Sirius offered.

"I'm already done. I was just playing Pachelbel for fun" Regulus muttered in a tone that clearly communicated 'I still don't want to speak to you'.

"What's she having you play?"

"Beethoven's 'Bagatelle in A Minor'…'Für Elise'…" Sirius noted that Regulus looked very unhappy about it.

"It's a good piece. Why are you upset?"

"You get to play my piece. **My** piece is way better than 'Für Elise', which I could play half asleep."

"Someone's getting a bit conceited aren't they?" Sirius teased, cocking an eyebrow. "Comparing yourself to Beethoven now are you?"

Regulus folded his arms and looked away, looking every bit the snobbish son that his mother so desperately wanted him to be.

"Surely she's got you playing more than that." Regulus rolled his eyes.

"Of course. But she gave **you** my piece." This time he sounded much more hurt than annoyed.

"Ah, Reg, it's not like anyone will know if we just trade. You play it if you want to. One less for me to learn. Tell me what else you're playing so I can choose my replacement. Or I'll just take 'Für Elise' if you're so upset by it."

"Mum will know."

"So? It's not like she'll cause a scene in front of the guests."

"No, Sirius. Just try not to ruin it."

"Thanks for your vote of confidence." Regulus rolled his eyes once more and pointed to his stack of papers, which he'd now re-written so that they could be read easily. Sirius took the stack and unfolded the pages and placed them in front of him. "Shit, Reg, there's like ten pages here."

 _Let's see if this is any good or if she just wanted me to look like an idiot._

"Twelve."

Sirius gave the first two pages a quick glance over and then began to play. He'd never played anything Regulus had written before. He had barely made it through the first page before Regulus was standing at his side.

"Cross over" he instructed.

"I can reach."

"You won't be able to. The tempo increases and –" Sirius was forced to stop playing.

 _Ah, it increases so I can't cross over later. Got it._

"That's why I told you to cross over at measure 24" Regulus said, sounding more than a little annoyed. Sirius suppressed his retort and began from the beginning. "You're over tempo." Sirius slowed down. He made it to the third page before: "F's aren't sharp there, Sirius. Didn't you see the natural sign?" Regulus did not relent until Sirius finally stopped playing abruptly on the seventh page after Regulus commented that "If you're going to get all the credit for my work, you better at least play it right."

"Shut-up, Regulus! I've never even read it through before and you're expecting me to know it as well as you do, even though you're the one who wrote it. I already told you: if you want to play it instead of me, I'll trade with you. Otherwise you need to be quiet and let me play it through a few times without your incessant commentary. You made it bloody complicated."

Regulus scowled, but obliged and returned to his chair. Sirius played it through repeatedly for over two hours. He wasn't sure how he was ever going to get it performance ready by that evening. Finally, he turned back to face Regulus, who was sitting with his arms folded tightly and an angry look on his face.

"Alright. Now I'm ready for your feedback. How am I doing?"

"You're butchering it" Regulus snarled, his grey eyes shining.

 _Keep it together. Keep it together. He's already mad at you for a lot of reasons. Keep it together._ He knew Regulus was just angry, so he tried not to take his rudeness too personally. He suspected Regulus wouldn't be able to keep up this level of anger for long; it was too unlike him to be disrespectful. Sirius took a long deep breath and then answered as calmly and passively as he could manage.

"Would you be kind enough to play it through for me? Perhaps that would help." Regulus considered this for a moment, a look of disdain on his face.

"Fine."

 _Thank you. Keep it together._ Regulus took up the bench seat and Sirius stood beside the bench so that he could watch how Regulus' hands corresponded with the music.

At first Sirius was irritated and solely focused on where the crossovers were to take place versus the reaches, but by the third page, he wasn't watching Regulus' hands anymore. He was listening, only listening. Regulus had been right; it sounded completely different when he played it. Regulus, besides not missing any notes, brought an emotion to the sound that he had not brought.

It wasn't a happy piece, Sirius realized as he heard the sound. It was slow and sad at times, and loud with frightening furious chords at others. Regulus didn't even have his eyes open. As Sirius watched him and listened to the music, he began to understand. His brother was turning his own emotions into sound. He understood why it was a violation for Sirius to be playing it.

"That's what it's supposed to sound like" Regulus said softly when he had finished playing. Sirius stared at him; the intensity of the piece was astounding.

"It's incredible" Sirius said. "Has anyone else heard it?" Regulus shook his head. "I can't play this piece, Regulus. It's…yours. It wouldn't be right for me to try to play it."

"Well, Bella saw me writing it and told Mother, and now she insists on hearing it, doesn't she?" Regulus answered matter-of-factly.

"Why didn't she just ask you to play it then?" Sirius asked bewildered. Their mother made no sense to him. Regulus shrugged passively.

"She always gives you the better pieces to play. You can play it. I'll teach you. …It just would have been nice if she'd consulted me before handing it over to you."

"I don't know why she does that, Reg. You're much better than I am. Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"And you're alright with everyone hearing it?" Sirius asked him gently. Regulus was a very private person.

"It's not like they'll understand it" Regulus muttered, but then he broke into a teasing grin, "even if you do manage to play it half way as well as I do." Sirius chuckled.

"I understood it, Reg." _Why are you looking at me like I should know better?_

"You're you, Sirius" Regulus muttered with a grin as he got up. They switched places so that Sirius could play. "Alright," Regulus said much more calmly than when he had instructed before, "Let's just start at the beginning. Take it slow."

* * *

 **(Peter Pettigrew)**

Peter awoke to the smell of fresh bacon. His mother was a fantastic cook, and she had been making it her mission to prove she was a better cook than the team of house elves at Hogwarts ever since he had returned home. Peter didn't think the elves had had anything on her to start, but he reveled in her efforts nonetheless.

He stretched and rose from underneath the royal blue comforter on the bed he had missed for the past few months. The school bed was just nowhere near as comfortable as his own bed at home. His eyes darted first to the window, checking for signs of snow. It hadn't snowed yet by him and he really wished that it would so that he could go out sledding. James had told him in his last letter that it had snowed at his house.

 _Oh yeah!_ He had yet to reply to James' letter, which now sat atop a cluttered desk in his room. Peter headed over and slumped down in his desk chair. He hadn't sat in it much all break unless to write letters. He had used to always do his schoolwork at that desk, and so now it was not the place he wanted to sit during vacation. Yet, it was convenient for writing letters. He shifted around the assortment of papers, photos, and miscellaneous items that he had left about the house and his mother and father had returned to his room.

 _Aha!_ He quickly reread James' letter, recalling that James had asked him several questions in it that he would expect answers to. Truthfully, Peter was just so incredibly happy to have a friend like James. Ha had been ecstatic when James' first letter had arrived only a week into the vacation. He grabbed his quill and un-stoppered his ink well.

 **.**

 _ **Dear James,**_

 _ **Thank you for the letter. I hope you have a Happy Christmas too! My mum and dad were so happy to have me back home that they went a bit overboard on the presents – not that I'm complaining. I've never seen under our tree so full.**_

 _ **I don't know how tall our tree is… sorry. Maybe six feet? Definitely not eighteen. Send a photo? It's brilliant though. I missed home more than I thought I did.**_

 _ **Yes, I've heard from Remus. He said he wasn't feeling so well, but I think he's doing better now. He said he's going to have to teach us all to use the muggle telephones (had to check back at Remus' letter to make sure I spelt that one right). That'd be fun, I think.**_

 _ **Oh yeah, how did the gingerbread houses go? I told my mum about wanting to make them so she said I could. She bought a whole bunch of candy for it a few days ago but I forgot until I read your letter and remembered you'd made yours.**_

 _ **Want to come for a visit? There's enough candy here for a second house if you want to make another one. My mum could write to your mum if you want. My mum says you can come over any day this week.**_

 _ **Nope, I haven't heard from Sirius, but I didn't write to him. Should I have written to him first? You wrote to me first so I didn't think about it and then I wrote to Remus with you so...maybe I should have. I don't know. I'm sure he's just busy but will get back to you soon. I wouldn't worry about it.**_

 _ **Let me know when you can visit! Oh, and I almost forgot. You're so lucky it snowed by you. All we've gotten is slushy rain that's no fun.**_

 _ **Bye,**_

 _ **Peter**_

 **.**

Peter folded up the letter and hurried excitedly downstairs to send it off with his family's owl.

"Good morning, Pete" his father called from the sitting room, where he was reading that morning's Daily Prophet, per usual. His father always read the Daily Prophet in the morning.

"Morning" Peter called back without stopping on his way to the front door.

There was a perch that they'd installed for Hoot, and he could usually be found on it. Sure enough, Hoot was resting comfortably on the perch when Peter made it outside. He felt a little guilty about waking him up, but he really wanted to send his letter off to James.

"Hoot" Peter called up imploringly. "If I give you some of Mum's bacon, will you deliver a letter to James for me?" The owl opened one eye and peered down at him for a moment – as if debating whether or not Peter would give up and let him sleep if he ignored him. "Please" Peter tried again. "I'll give you a whole bacon strip."

At that, Hoot ruffled his feathers and flew down to land on Peter's arm.

"Thank you" Peter grinned. He brought Hoot back into the house with him to make good on the bacon he'd promised before sending him off with the message.

After breakfast, his mother wanted to take him out shopping for the Christmas gifts that she hadn't yet gotten for people. He hadn't really wanted to go with her, but he consented without a fuss to be nice. It was another day of rainy sludge – cold enough to need a scarf but not enough for snow. _Sorry Hoot_ , he thought as he remembered that he was out flying in this mess.

That night they lit a fire in the fireplace; Peter had never thought of their fireplace as small, but now that he had seen the ones at Hogwarts, his perception of it changed. It was slightly less exciting than it used to be. He didn't tell his parents that however; he didn't want to disappoint them. He waited all day and evening but he did not receive a letter back from James until the next morning.

 _Yes!_ He though happily as he leapt out of bed to let Hoot in through his bedroom window.

"Thank you Hoot!" he exclaimed. Hoot nipped his shoulder affectionately, dropped the letter and flew off. Peter opened the letter as quickly as he could; he had a real friend who wrote him back whenever he wrote to him, and who might even want to come and visit. As usual, James' letter was written around doodles that he'd drawn often mid-sentence. Little snitches, goal posts, and broomsticks were mixed in with Christmas trees and rein deer.

 **.**

 _ **Hi Peter!**_

 _ **Thanks! I CAN'T WAIT for Christmas! Yeah, mine too. My mum is totally bribing me with cookies. I think she wishes I'll just suddenly ask if I can stay home forever, haha.**_

 _ **Six feet? Wow. Do you have low ceilings or something? Bet it looks super decorated then! Mum said I couldn't send a photo of our tree. I think she thought I was bragging or something. Sorry.**_

 _ **I heard back from Remus too. He says he's feeling much better. Only had a cold. I talked to my Dad about the tele and he said he's used one before! I had no idea! I do think it'd be fun to learn, but I don't want Sirius to become all obsessed with it like he is with the motors and airplanes.**_

 _ **Speaking of… I still haven't heard back from him. I sent two letters now. I don't know. Maybe our owl can't find his house? Is that even possible? My mum said that I should let it go, but I think that's just because she doesn't believe me that I made three great friends. I think she thinks he's not answering on purpose. She didn't say that, but I could tell.**_

 _ **Anyway, gingerbread houses went great! Frank came over and we each made one. He said mine was better! It's hard to tell with Frank though; he's always trying to be so nice. I do think mine was better though. It had crushed peppermint bark for siding. I'd love to make another one, of course! Thanks for inviting me! It'd be great to see you!**_

 _ **I asked my mum and she said yes. She just wants to come drop me off so she can meet your mum. That's fine, right? How's Wednesday? What time should I come over?**_

 _ **Fingers crossed for snow! See you soon!**_

 _ **Infamous Star Chaser,**_

 _ **James Potter**_

 **.**

Peter grinned broadly. James was going to come and visit! He ran downstairs to tell his mum and see what time James should arrive on Wednesday so that he could write back to James as soon as possible.

 **.**

 **.**

 **Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!**


	17. Chapter 16: 1 Step Forward, 2 Steps Back

**(Sirius Black)**

It was the first Christmas he could remember that he didn't wake up to Regulus shaking him awake. Sirius rolled onto his back and stared up at the heavy emerald-colored drapery hanging above him. In the past, Christmases had made him excited – nowhere near the level of excited that he'd seen his new mate James Potter get worked up over Christmas, but still excited nonetheless.

There was never any guarantee that he and Regulus would get presents on Christmas; they'd always get new clothes around wintertime, but it was not necessarily on Christmas. It wasn't until they were about five and four that they realized that Andromeda, Bellatrix, and Narcissa would all receive mountains of gifts on Christmas. Then, Walburga and Orion had been "in a position" as they'd called it, and so now they usually could expect a few gifts so long as they behaved within range of their parents' standards.

If there was ever a year that Sirius did not anticipate getting any presents, it was definitely this year. _It doesn't matter_ , he told himself. _There're no lessons today. And I'm one day closer to going back to Hogwarts. That's two glorious gifts right there._

There was a feint, almost unsure, knock on his door. There was only one person in his house who would ever do him the courtesy of knocking. Sirius sat up against his many pillows and looked right at the closed heavy door.

"Come in" he called.

He didn't want to let himself get his hopes up about Regulus forgiving him. Regulus had, in recent days, began speaking to him again – though, Sirius had the dissatisfying feeling that it was simply because Regulus had no one to talk to otherwise, rather than because he had believed and forgiven him. The door opened slowly and Regulus took only one small step into the room. He wasn't bouncing up and down with excitement, or spinning around in circles, or taking a running leap at the bed the way he usually did on Christmas mornings. He wasn't even smiling.

Sirius just stared back at his brother for a moment, neither of them saying anything. Regulus was still in his pajamas too, but his hair lay neatly, unlike Sirius'.

"Happy Christmas" Sirius tried at last. _Please forgive me._ He just wanted his relationship with Regulus back. The last night before leaving for Hogwarts that past summer now seemed ages away.

"Happy Christmas" Regulus replied softly, still looking wary of forgiving him. It made his stomach sink.

"Why don't you come in, Reg?" he tried again. There was a pause. Then, all at once, Regulus shut the door, went over to the bed, and climbed on to sit cross-legged at the end. Sirius gave him a small smile. It meant there was hope; _he wants to forgive me at least._ "D'you think you'll get presents?" Sirius asked; it was the beginning of the same conversation they had every Christmas morning. Regulus smiled at last.

"I don't know. I tried to be good."

"I bet you will" Sirius told him, and Regulus brightened up a bit. "I don't think I will."

"Probably not" Regulus muttered, then he quickly added "But maybe."

Sirius laughed at his little brother's weak attempt to cover his honest slip.

"It's alright. I just hope you get something good that you can share." Sirius half-wished he hadn't said it; Regulus was barely speaking to him, let alone wanting to share his presents with him. Yet, Regulus nodded agreeably.

"Me too."

Several hours later, Sirius found himself in the crowded pre-dinner hall. He was wearing stuffy dark green and blue formal dress robes that his mother had recently purchased in Milan; they were, in his firm opinion, hideous. Regulus was in a similar outfit, yet he hadn't seemed nearly as put off by the clothes as Sirius was; perhaps it was that he was now much more used to comfortable school robes.

He'd had to greet each of their dinner guests personally when they'd arrived – a task he had never found more unbearable. His Uncle Cignus, Aunt Druella, Bellatrix, and Narcissa had arrived first. They nearly always arrived first to such events – "to make themselves feel important" his mother had always commented. The Rosier's were there as well through their connection with Druella, and they had brought along their horrid son – Evan, who was the same age as Regulus.

His Uncle Alphard had come as well – a single guest whom Sirius could actually be happy to welcome in. His father's sister - his Aunt Lucretia - and her husband – Uncle Ignatius – were among some of Sirius' least favorite to greet. Neither of the pair were in the least bit inclined to liking anyone below the age of 25, and neither of them had ever said anything even remotely kind to him. The other Prewetts that Sirius had met at school had all seemed wonderful, and they were in Gryffindor; yet, Ignatius Prewett was evidently an exception.

The extended Crabbe family had arrived as well on his grandmother Irma's side. One of them was a son in Regulus' year as well – Adamantis. Yet, the worst one's to greet were the Malfoys, and the Lestranges, in particular Lucius and Rodolphus. They had to pretend that they did not despise each other. Sirius had had no choice but to shake their hands. Lucius had acted aloof, as if Sirius had no reason at all to loathe him. Rodolphus, on the other hand, had smirked cruelly at him, clearly relishing in the uncomfortable situation. Sirius did his best to act aloof as well, though he gripped their hands as tightly and as briefly as he possibly could.

Of course, both sets of grandparents came – Pollux and Irma, along with Arcturus and Melania. Pollux and Irma were by far the lesser of the two evils. They had at least politely said that they were glad to see he was doing well. Arcturus on the other hand, had greeted him with a raised cane, which he did not need for walking, but someone had grabbed his upper arm tightly and jerked him out of the way.

"We're at a party" Orion growled at Arcturus.

"I don't care" Arcturus had snarled back bad-temperedly. "A Gryffindor sorting is a disgrace to this family."

His father's grip loosened on his arm.

"Sirius" Orion spoke slightly less furiously than he had when it had been to his own father. "Most of our guests have arrived. Go and play something for your mother on the piano."

Relief spread through Sirius; his father had rescued him. Orion was the only one who ever dared to say anything against Arcturus, who was the head of the family – and even that was usually a respectful and cautious disagreement on Orion's part.

"Yes, Father" Sirius said, communicating his gratefulness through his eyes, and then he had hurried off to the piano. Sirius played for the sixty or so mingling guests until his Uncle Alphard came over to talk to him about fifteen minutes later.

"Happy Christmas, young man" Alphard said with a smile, a glass of bourbon in his hand as he leaned against the black grand piano.

"Happy Christmas, Uncle Alphard" Sirius replied.

"How do you like school?" Sirius had been drilled on how to answer this question by his mother prior to the party.

"I was supposed to be in Slytherin" he told him softly. He didn't feel like this obligatory response was untrue. He was intended to be in Slytherin, even if he himself was not a Slytherin by nature.

"So I have heard" Alphard replied with small grin. He took a drink of his bourbon. "Yet, you are, for now, a Gryffindor. How has that been?"

"I like it a lot." He felt almost guilty admitting this fact; he knew most of his relatives would be unhappy with him to hear him say that. Yet, Alphard was not like most of his relatives, he was unique, so he felt a little safer telling him.

"I'm relieved to hear it. Have you made any friends?"

"Yes." He waited for his Uncle to ask the loaded question of 'are they purebloods?', but he did not.

"Good. Smile, Sirius. You're allowed to be happy, even though you're not in Slytherin." Sirius couldn't bring himself to it. His parents' words were still too prominent in his memory. Alphard leaned down to be closer to him. "Can I tell you a secret?" Sirius' perked up and nodded. "There is not a thing wrong with being in Gryffindor. You were sorted into the house that was best for you, and that's all that matters."

 _But, it's not a good thing that the house that was best for me is an embarrassment. I was supposed to be in the best house._

"You're the only one who thinks so" Sirius told him. _You and Andromeda._ But, he couldn't bring up Andromeda.

"Yes" Alphard sighed, taking another long drink of his bourbon. "I know." He put a hand briefly on Sirius' shoulder and walked off. Sirius remained on the piano bench looking around at his relatives. He scanned the crowd for his brother, who was the only person he wanted to be around there, even if Regulus was still upset with him.

It didn't take too long to see that Regulus was sitting in a corner chair accompanied by Rabastan. The circular table between them was outlaid with a game of snap. Sirius debated.

"Are you going to occupy everyone's source of music for the next several hours?" Sirius was jolted form his thoughts by the tall blond boy who'd come up in front of him. His whole body tensed; it made him furious that Lucius Malfoy could make him so nervous. He'd known Lucius Malfoy his whole life, and he'd never once made him nervous before school. "Are you going to speak, or are you just going to gape at me?"

 _He won't do anything. He can't do anything._ Sirius assured himself.

"Lucius." It was Narcissa. She came hurrying over to him and wrapped her arms around one of his. "What are you doing?"

"I was hoping to get a little music." Narcissa turned to the piano and met eyes with Sirius. At once, understanding set in.

 _Please just make him leave._ He knew she'd never take a side against her precious boyfriend. _She isn't like Bellatrix, who has a mind of her own._ He could tell from her nervous expression that she wasn't happy with the situation though. She wasn't a particularly nice person, but she had never been much for being intentionally mean either.

"I'm rather thirsty. Have you seen any of the elves serving drinks?"

"I'll go get you something" Lucius replied promptly, as she knew he would. He walked off without another glance at Sirius.

"Sirius" Narcissa said not unkindly. "He'll be back in a moment. You should find somewhere else to linger." He nodded.

"Okay" he agreed softly. _It's my house. I should be able to 'linger' wherever I please._ Without many options, he made his way over to Regulus and Rabastan. "Can I join you?"

"Yes" Regulus answered at the same time as Rabastan said

"No." Rabastan had never been rude like that to him before, but Sirius knew why – or at least the main reason why. He swallowed, not wanting Regulus to know what had happened between them regarding Sirius' letters.

"I didn't know you were talking about him" Sirius said, hoping Rabastan would catch on while Regulus would not be able to. Rabastan looked caught off guard slightly, but he replied firmly.

"I don't believe you."

"What are you talking-?"

"Shh!" Rabastan cut Regulus off quickly. _So Regulus doesn't know. He doesn't want Regulus to know what we're talking about. He must not have told him._ Sirius wanted to believe his assumption so badly, but he wasn't sure if he was just reading too much into that "shh".

"Reg, can I play too?" Sirius shot him a pleading look. Angry or not, he knew Regulus would not make him wander around the party with all the adults all night. His brother nodded while watching Rabastan curiously. Sirius moved his chair closer to Regulus and sat down.

"Ce que vous deux parliez? (What were you two talking about?)" Regulus whispered discreetly a half hour later when Rabastan was distracted by the house elf offering him hors d'oeuvres.

"Rein. (Nothing)" Sirius whispered back. "Ne vous en faites pas. (Don't worry about it)."

* * *

 **(Rabastan Lestrange)**

Rabastan just couldn't allow himself to believe Sirius. It was bad enough that Sirius, the heir, thought that he was so much better and different than everyone else. But to treat Regulus, who was so devoted to him, with such casual indifference and neglect… it was more than Rabastan could let slide. He had envied the relationship that Regulus and Sirius had with one another, or at least the one that he'd always thought they'd had with one another for as long as he could remember.

He'd always felt more similar to Regulus – the second born son, the one who was never going to be quite as important as the heir to the family. They were alike, Rabastan and Regulus in that way, and Rabastan had clung to that bond ever since he was old enough to form the concept.

They were both the ones who would be perpetually left behind. But even Rodolphus had written home to him when he had gone away to school leaving Rabastan behind with their parents, and, after their mother's death, just their father. For three whole years, Rodolphus had written to him at least once a week, and they were not even particularly close. It was just an obligation, Rabastan knew, but at least he had done it. Even Rodolphus hadn't left his brother all alone. He had kept him sane. Rabastan had no idea how he would have gotten by without being able to still communicate with him, which is why he couldn't begin to forgive Sirius for abandoning Regulus.

He never would have imagined Sirius ignoring Regulus. The two had always been inseparable. More critically, he understood how desolating it felt to be left behind. If only he had known earlier that Regulus wasn't writing back and forth with Sirius, he would have started writing to him sooner to try and fill the gap.

Rabastan had never had anything particular against Sirius. He'd always liked Regulus more, finding him the friendlier and the more relatable of the two, yet he hadn't held a grudge against Sirius before. Even when Sirius was shockingly sorted into Gryffindor, and his housemates were in an uproar, as if it was the biggest scandal of the decade, Rabastan had not really understood what the huge predicament was. So Sirius was not in Slytherin. It didn't seem like it should mean a permanent black ball on his record, at least to Rabastan. He learned quickly enough however, that he was incorrect in thinking that it did not matter and that Sirius was still a decent person.

* * *

 **(Regulus Black)**

A week had passed since Christmas. Regulus sat in silence at the breakfast table with his mother and father. Sirius remained upstairs in his bedroom, where he had been for every breakfast served since his return home from school. Nearly four months of dining without his brother had passed, but he still found these meals just as unbearable as he had the first night that Sirius had left – well, maybe not quite as bad as that first week, when it was just his father and himself. Those meals had been so silent from start to finish that Regulus could hear the slight static from the magic that radiated in the air throughout their home.

"Regulus" his mother said, stopping her conversation with her husband.

"Yes, mother?"

"After breakfast, I would like you to practice the piano for me. You will not be having lessons today. I am having company over, and you will be expected to play while we have tea."

Regulus tensed in his chair. He was glad to be missing his lessons, and he was certainly happy to play the piano, but the pressure of playing flawlessly for company always weighed on him.

"I will be honored. Thank you." He was always mindful of speaking formally, especially to his parents. He knew that they preferred it, and it really wasn't much work once one got used to it.

The conversation between his parents resumed and Regulus took the risk of tuning them out so that he could focus on determining the truth about the letters. The winter holidays were coming to a rapid close and Regulus felt barely closer to figuring out whether it had been his mother or Sirius who had lied to him.

His mother had told him that Sirius planned not to return home for the holidays… that he had disgraced and betrayed their family, and that he wanted nothing more to do with any of them. He had not believed her at first…but then, why hadn't Sirius returned any of his letters? Perhaps he really did want nothing to do with any of them. Perhaps he had forgotten all about him. He didn't dare ask his father about it.

By mid-October, he had convinced himself that something must be wrong if Sirius wasn't answering him. Sirius would never choose not to answer him. He had promised – sworn – that they would write back and forth. Regulus had not been able to fathom that his older brother would leave him behind so completely as to not even send him a letter in reply. One day, he finally worked up the courage to express his concern to his mother, and to his complete surprise, she had not gotten angry with him – lately the mere reminder that Sirius even existed had brought her to a rage. Instead of becoming angry, she had confided that his brother had ignored her letters as well. At this fact, Regulus had felt even more convinced that Sirius was not alright, but he could not understand why his mother disagreed with him, stating that Sirius was simply being a selfish spoilt brat.

She had refused to take further action. So, when he had grown desperate enough, he had confessed to Rabastan that Sirius wasn't answering his letters. He didn't usually write with Rabastan, mostly because Sirius did not like him, but he felt that this was an exception. If Sirius was not alright, he would certainly forgive Regulus for writing to Rabastan Lestrange about him. Rabastan had written him back the very same day; he had assured him that Sirius was fine, though he had been slightly cryptic when writing back to Regulus' question of "ask him why he hasn't replied to me".

 **.**

 ** _I spoke to him, Reg. I promise you, he's perfectly safe. He is just very busy with his homework and striving to get good marks. First year can be quite busy. I'm sure he just hasn't had time to write you the long letter that he wants to. Perhaps you should not write to him so often…give him a chance to catch up. If you want someone to write to, I'll write with you._**

 **.**

Regulus had found it very hard to understand why Sirius wasn't able to spare a single minute to even just tell him that he was so busy. He had tried very hard to remain patient and forgiving. But as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months, he'd been forced to accept that Sirius was indeed leaving him completely alone. How he could do that to him, Regulus didn't know; he would never have been able to ignore Sirius that way. It was a constant physical hole in his chest. It had been all he could think about – maybe today will be the day he'll write back. Maybe this hour. Maybe this minute. Maybe right now.

 **.**

 _Regulus entered his mother's favorite lounge to find her, as usual at this early hour, sitting on the French sofa reading._

 _"_ _Excuse me, Mother?" She looked up from her book, unsurprised to see him._

 _"_ _Yes, Regulus. I know what you're going to ask" her words came out calmly. He watched her patiently, awaiting her statement. "There were no letters from Sirius this morning."_

 _The crushing feeling was still there in full force, even though he had been expecting it. He gave her a polite nod._

 _"_ _Thank you, Mother." He turned to go but a wave of loneliness overcame him. He did not want to spend another miserable day in his bedroom alone, or in the music room alone, or in the library alone. "Mum?" he asked in a strained voice, turning back to her in the doorway. She looked surprised._

 _"_ _What is it?" she asked, with just a hint of concern._

 _"_ _Can- May I stay in here with you?" He had never asked her such a question before, and there was a long pause before she recovered from the shock and replied._

 _"_ _If you behave."_

 _Relief spread over him – it wasn't much comfort to the fact that Sirius had abandoned him, but it was at least more than he'd had._

 _"_ _Thank you, Mum. I will." She fixed him with an un-angry but still corrective expression. "Mother" he amended. "Sorry, Mother."_

 **.**

Then Sirius had returned, and he had admitted that he had not sent even a single letter to Regulus, and he had lied about not receiving his letters. He had to be lying, didn't he? Because his mother wouldn't do that to him. She knew how wrecked he'd been over it, though he'd done his best not to show it. She had seen him, day after day, when he'd walked into the lounge asking if he'd gotten a letter back from Sirius. No, she would never have done that to him. She had witnessed how much he was hurt by not receiving letters from Sirius.

 _She would never have not sent them._ _She would never have done such a thing. No one would be that cruel._

After breakfast concluded, he went straight to the music room to practice. A very short while later, his mother entered the room as well and sat down on one of the chaises, looking elegant as ever. He glanced over at her, not faltering in his playing. She nodded in rare approval. _She wouldn't lie about that._ He trusted her enough to be sure of that. The only problem was that he still also trusted Sirius enough not to lie about that either. He had been positive that Sirius was lying at first, but after spending time with him again, he just couldn't believe that his brother would do that to him.

 _One of them is lying_ , he reminded himself _._ That much he was now sure of, though he had tried valiantly to concoct scenarios that exonerated them both. Perhaps she had sent the letters, but Sirius had truly never received them. Perhaps the owl had dropped his letters…every time? After a while, he'd had to come to the reluctant decision that there was no possible way that one of them wasn't lying to him.

He hadn't been afraid to ask his brother, but his mother was a different story. He knew that she would not take the question well, no matter how delicately he went about it. Still, he had to ask her. Thus, as nerve-wracking as it was to do so, he was going to do it. He could not stand not knowing for even one more minute.

Regulus stopped playing at the piano, letting his fingers slide lightly off the keys that they last rested on.

"Why have you stopped playing?" his mother asked him almost instantly from the chaise lounge that she had been reclining on. He took a very deep breath.

"I have a question, Mother…please."

"About the piece? Fine. Choose another, but be sure to ask your instructor at your lesson tomorrow."

"It's not about the piece" he replied softly. Her response came about rather agitated.

"Well, what is it then?"

His heart was pounding as he turned slightly to look at her.

"It's about the letters I wrote to Sirius." Her expression turned cold and she fixed him with a narrow-eyed stare of warning. He swallowed. "I… Do you think perhaps… Sirius mentioned that I had not written to him. D-Did you send my letters to him with a different owl?" He couldn't risk telling her what Sirius had really said, or accusing her of not sending them. She was glaring at him now. "I… I don't think they reached him." She raised a delicate black eyebrow.

Silence. Nearly a full minute passed.

"Are you suggesting that I am incapable of sending mail properly?" she asked stiffly.

"No, Mother" Regulus said frantically, shaking his head 'no'. "No, I'd never-"

She rose to her feet and walked over to him on the piano bench. He looked up at her, more and more fear rising in him by the second. He shrunk lower on the bench. She cut off his words.

"Then are you implying that I didn't send your brother those letters?"

 _Well…_

"No, Mother. I don't mean to. I just was asking why he didn't get them."

"Don't make excuses with me, Regulus. You know perfectly well that your ungrateful selfish brother did not elect to write back to the vast majority of the letters sent to him. If he has made an excuse for himself by telling you that he did not receive any letters from you, then that is a lie. He is a traitor to this family. I will not tolerate you accusing me of such deeds when he is the one who has betrayed this family. Do not try to lie to me about what you are asking."

Regulus shook his head 'no' at her pleadingly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it that way. It wasn't what I meant. I'm sorry."

"Look at me." He obeyed. She slowly shook her head down at him. "He is perpetually getting you into trouble. He is a liar, and he is a traitor to this entire family. We're going to fix him – or so your father assures me. But, for now, you are to stay away from him."

 _What?! Stay away from Sirius? But… it's Sirius._

"Now, I suggest you return to your practicing. Do not even think of asking me such a ridiculous question again. Consider this your warning, as I know how devastated you were over his betrayal of this family. But Regulus" she paused for effect, "I will not be so forgiving again." She returned to her seat. "Now…continue."

Regulus did not have the opportunity to speak to Sirius alone until after supper when they were finally allowed to retire upstairs for the remainder of the evening.

"How was playing for Mum's friends?" Sirius asked from two steps behind him as they traveled to their bedrooms on the top floor. "Lessons were dreadfully boring."

"It was fine" Regulus replied. He still hadn't determined the best way to tell Sirius what their mother had said.

"Still want to play chess?" Sirius asked hopefully. He'd made the offer to play to Regulus at lunch. Regulus didn't reply, but he went into Sirius' bedroom and sat down on the bed anyway. They needed to talk. Sirius joined him a second later, finally realizing that he was upset.

"Regulus" Sirius asked. "What's happened?"

Regulus wasn't sure that he wanted to tell him. A part of him truly believed his mother. He stared up at Sirius for a long while, trying to decide. He stared for so long that Sirius' expression went from curiosity to genuine worry. Sirius, the same familiar Sirius that he'd always known, was looking at him with eyes filled with concern. He didn't seem like a traitor. He seemed like he cared.

 _Then why did he abandon me? Why did he ignore me?_

"Answer me, Regulus" he ordered in the authoritative tone that reminded Regulus of their father sometimes. Complying was instinctual more than it was by his own choice.

"I asked mother why you hadn't gotten the letters from me."

Sirius looked both shocked and impressed.

"What did she say?" he asked curiously. Regulus must have hesitated a moment too long because Sirius' tone grew commanding once more. "Tell me now."

"She said you were lying. She said that she sent them with the others." The words weighed heavily on Regulus as he reiterated them.

 _I don't know who to believe_ , he thought despairingly _._ He **wanted** to believe Sirius. He desperately wanted to believe Sirius. But, if that was the case, and Sirius had told the truth, then Regulus would be stuck at home with a mother who was lying to him even though he was devastated over it. _I just don't think that she would do that. He didn't answer her letters either._

"Do you believe her?" Sirius asked firmly, yet Regulus recognized the desperation in his eyes. "Or do you believe me?"

Again, Regulus took too long to respond.

"Get out then."

Regulus' stomach dropped.

"I want to believe you, Siri" Regulus answered desperately. But, it was too late; Sirius was angry at him.

"Wanting to believe me and actually believing me are not the same thing." Sirius glared at him. "If you're going to hold her word as the same as mine, then get out of my bedroom. I don't want you in here."

"Please" Regulus begged. The last thing he wanted was to argue with Sirius. He was just starting to talk to Sirius again, and now he had ruined it. "I'm sorry."

"I don't care. I've told you a hundred times that I never got any of your letters. I should have written to you. That's on me. But I won't have you believe that I just didn't reply to your letters. It isn't true, and if you're going to believe that about me then I don't want you in here."

"Please. But you said we could play chess after I finished playing piano for Mother" he said, grasping at straws.

"I have other friends who I can play chess with when I get back to school. Friends who believe me when I tell them something. Even though my own brother, who's known me forever doesn't. I can wait a few more days to play chess."

The words cut through him. " _I have other friends."_ " _I have other friends."_ " _I have other friends."_ Was that all he was now? Someone to play chess with when he was at home so that Sirius didn't get too bored? Replaceable by these faceless nameless chess-playing friends?

Regulus sat gaping at him, too shocked and hurt to even speak. Sirius seemed to realize his mistake quickly enough. He put his hands on Regulus' shoulders.

"No" Sirius said hurriedly. "No, I didn't mean that. Reg, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that." Regulus was too stunned to answer. Sirius gave his shoulders a light shake. "…Regulus, please. I'm sorry, okay? We can play chess. I was just angry. Reg…"

Regulus rose slowly to his feet, and Sirius dropped his hands back to his sides.

"Reg. Don't you want to play chess? Sit down. We'll play."

Regulus shook his head without looking a Sirius. The hole inside his chest was feeling larger. _First the letters, and then not wanting to come home for the holiday, and now this._

"Come on, Reg. Yes you do. I bet you'll win. Please sit back-"

"I don't want to" Regulus answered flatly. He had to get out of this room. He had to leave now. He walked straight out the door and into his own bedroom without another word. Once he was safely shut behind his door, Regulus buried himself into his own bed.

He blamed himself, as he always did. Why had he taken so long to answer? Why couldn't he tell who was lying? Why couldn't he just believe Sirius? Or even if Sirius was lying, was that really not Regulus' own fault as well? Maybe Sirius had just been busy with schoolwork, like Rabastan had told him. Or maybe Sirius just hadn't had time to spare from his new friends to write back to Regulus' boring letters. Maybe he should have written Sirius more interesting letters?

 _No. He should have written me back. He promised._

* * *

 **(Remus Lupin)**

When Remus arrived at the platform to return from Christmas break, the first thing he did was look around in the hopes of catching sight of his new friends. He spotted James almost instantly, as he was drawing a considerable amount of attention to himself via his exclamations of glee. There were too many people in between them on the platform, however, for Remus to see what had made his friend so jubilant. He continued to scan the crowd for Sirius and Peter.

After a moment, he spotted Sirius standing very stiffly next to an exceptionally tall lavishly dressed wizard who must have been his father. The two weren't speaking; they weren't even looking at one another. In fact, Sirius' wandering gaze met up with Remus'. He didn't return Remus' smile or wave.

Remus hugged his mother farewell for what must have been the twentieth time that day. Even his father looked disappointed to see him return, though Remus was sure that that was only because he was worried about Remus' secret being revealed. When Remus boarded the train, he walked along the corridor until he found the compartment with Sirius alone in it. Sirius sat with his head resting against the window, though he wasn't looking out it.

"Hey" Remus said softly as he entered. Sirius looked up at him slowly, the despairing look still in his usually cheerful eyes, but he gave Remus a small smile. He could feel Sirius' eyes giving him a once over before darting to the closed compartment door and then back to his face.

"You okay?" His tone was one of concern; Remus knew that he looked weaker and more fatigued than usual. Remus knew that Sirius' suspicions that his frequent weakened states were a result of his father. He wished more than anything that he could correct such a false accusation, but he knew he could not do so without opening the door for Sirius to seek alternative causes.

"I'm fine. You?" He looked at Sirius, and truthfully he did not look at all well.

"Just ready to be back."

"How was your Christmas?" Sirius moved his eyes to look at him without moving his head.

"Typical Black family Christmas. Nothing special. How was yours?"

"It was nice. We had a really pretty tree that made the whole house smell like pine. It wasn't anything grand, but it was nice to be home." _Should I have said that it was nice to be home? Will that cause Sirius to question the scenario he's made up in his head to excuse my injuries?_ Sirius was staring at him with a very quizzical look.

But Remus was saved from any further questions by James and Peter bursting into the compartment talking loudly about their Christmases. James cheered when he caught sight of his other two friends.

"Remus! Sirius! Happy New Year! How were your holidays? Peter was just telling me his was swell and mine…" James gave a whoop of delight "…well let's just say I got another unexpected gift just a minute ago from Mum and Dad, and it's brilliant! Ugh, I'm almost sad to be going back to school so soon, but I'm happy to see you!" James sat down beside Remus after hauling his and Peter's trunks up. Peter was beside Sirius.

"Remus!" James said again, beaming at him like he hadn't seen him in ages. James wrapped him up in a hug. "Ahh! So how was it?"

"It was great, James. It was nice to be home. Thanks for all the letters." James had written Remus, and each of them Remus assumed, several letters over the holiday break.

"Glad to hear it mate! Get anything good?" Remus proceeded to tell him about the new books he'd gotten and how he'd beaten his parents on the chess set James and Sirius had gotten him for his birthday. "That's because you're so brilliant at chess! That's a lucky set!"

James proceeded to talk jubilantly with Remus and Peter as the train left the station. He told them about his last minute surprise gift, which was tickets to the Quidditch World Cup Match that summer. Then he broke into a rather dirty Quidditch chant that had Remus laughing, and Peter gasping for breath and practically falling out of his seat. The trolley came by a bit earlier than usual, and James bought an armful of candy and dumped it on the open sections of the benches.

"Dig in!" he shouted. "Oi, Sirius!" James chucked a taffy at him. "Why are you so quiet? How was your break?"

"Regular" Sirius muttered.

"Get anything good?" Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Define good. If you mean costs a fortune and is completely useless, then yes."

"What about from your cousin then? The decent one?"

"Drommie can't send things to the house. She's disinherited. They burned her photo off the family tree years ago." He said it all rather matter-of-factly and James simply gasped.

"They **what**? Why? Because she married a Hufflepuff?"

"Because she married a muggleborn" Sirius corrected.

"But why can't she still send gifts to the house?" Remus asked.

"Because she's **disinherited**. Why is it so hard for all of you to understand?" He sounded quite irritated now. "She ran off and got married to a muggleborn. They had a whole blasting her off the wall ceremony and everything; she's dead to them. They don't know I still talk with her. I'm not supposed to. So she can't exactly be sending me Christmas gifts to the house."

"Cor Blimey, that's rough. If anyone in my family ever tried to erase someone from our family records, my father would probably murder them" James announced, sounding shocked at this new revelation into the Black family dealings. Sirius slumped back into the corner of the compartment, his head still leaning up against the side.

"Are you sick, Sirius?" Remus asked.

"I'm fine" Sirius muttered irately. "All of you, talk about someone else for a change."

"Did you get my letters?" James asked, and Remus realized that perhaps Sirius had not answered any of James' letters either. He had thought that perhaps Sirius had just elected not to trouble himself by answering his. "Why didn't you respond?"

"No" Sirius said. "Are you sure your owl got the address right?" But there was something in his tone that gave Remus the feeling that Sirius was not being entirely honest.

"Well…yeah I was…but if you didn't get them…. Why didn't you write to me at all then?"

Sirius only shrugged, though he looked exceptionally bothered by that question.

"Too busy with the Black family's holiday festivities, huh?" James added, still very cheerful. "Let me guess! All those lovely family members together under one roof, lots of wine and music, and emerald worm spit robes as gifts all around?"

Sirius didn't look at all amused.

"Well I suppose not all Christmases can be like the Potters'. I bet you had a massive tree towering over piles of presents that you don't need." His voice was bitter.

"As a matter of fact we did, thank you very much" James retorted, half-laughing. "It was lovely." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Why are you being such a git, Black?" There was no anger in James' voice, only genuine inquisition.

"I said to talk about someone else, not to guess about my Christmas" he snapped. "You're so bloody nosy, Potter."

"You're being a sodding prat. D'you know that?" James asked, still free of antagonism, almost laughing.

"Brilliant. Then leave me alone" Sirius snapped back, his voice rising.

"What is your problem? You don't write all holiday, and now your acting like a right fowl git for no reason." Sirius rose to his feet and left the compartment without a word, slamming the door behind him. James gaped after him. "What the hell was that all about?"

 _I'm not sure._ Remus thought back to the look on Sirius' face at the platform. _I'd better go make sure he's alright._

"I'll go see."

"Don't bother. He's being dramatic. Probably just upset that he has to go back to school." _Maybe._ _I don't think that's it though._

"I'll just go check to make sure."

"Suit yourself." Remus slipped out of the compartment and glanced down the hallway each way. It was unclear which direction Sirius might have gone in.

 _The train does have regular seats up in front_. It seemed like a logical guess that Sirius may have gone off to find a single-person seat up front. Remus headed to the right and walked swiftly towards the forward-facing seats. There were much less students here, because it wasn't conducive to talking with a group of friends. It was mostly scattered first years, like Sirius, who perhaps didn't have anyone else to sit with. Remus walked up the aisle, careful to look at each grouping of seats as he made his way. He'd checked nearly every row, and gotten some odd stares. He was beginning to think that Sirius wasn't there. _Only two rows left._ Remus turned to look in the second row. Sure enough, there sat his friend, his forehead leaning up against the window. Remus sat down in the seat next to him.

"There's a whole bloody train –" Sirius began irritably as he turned around to face him "- Oh, Remus. It's you."

"Can I sit?" Sirius' expression softened.

"Did he start in on you too?"

 _That's an interesting way to put it. He wasn't trying to bully you, Sirius._

"No."

"You get it don't you?" Sirius asked desperately. "I mean, doesn't listening to him prattle on about his sodding perfect family drive you crazy too? He's so bloody spoilt."

It was an interesting choice of insult, coming from a boy wearing impeccably tailored black silk dress robes inlaid with real emeralds and shiny stylish dragon-hide shoes that must have cost a few hundred galleons. Remus thought it better not to point this out.

"I-I don't think he realizes. I think he thinks everyone's family is like his own."

"Well he's met enough of mine to know that it isn't." Sirius gave a loud sigh. "…I do sound like a jealous git, don't I?" Remus gave him a small smile, which Sirius returned gratefully. "Yeah, when Remus Lupin agrees that you've been a git, it's fact." He chuckled.

"No you're not" Remus said, not daring to let Sirius think he would venture anywhere near insulting him.

"Christmas isn't really a big thing at my place" Sirius explained. "I mean we get some gifts, but it's more because they want to appear a certain way to everyone else rather than actually give a gift. They don't wrap them or anything." He fiddled with some of the silk of his robes, letting it slide smoothly through his fingers. "And there's no tree."

"No tree?" Remus burst out before he could stop himself. Sirius grinned.

"Of course not, silly. Who do you think we are? The Potters? We don't even always get the gifts on Christmas. We just get them some time before we're expected to be seen in public. Wouldn't want people thinking we couldn't afford the latest styles."

 _That's not a Christmas at all._

"Though I'm really surprised I got anything at all this year" Sirius continued casually. "But I got a few. They're useless, mind you. But it made my mum pretty angry when they arrived at the house, so that counts for something."

"Why did it make your mum angry?" Sirius hesitated a moment, evidently deciding how to answer.

"Because I'm the spawn of the devil. Didn't you know?" He was smirking now. Remus was aware that he was looking confused. "Ahh, don't trouble yourself with it. I expected them to be angry with me this holiday. They'll eventually get over it."

"She's really so angry that she didn't want you to get Christmas presents?" Remus asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. I knew she would be." He shrugged and continued with a tone of studied nonchalance. "I mean I didn't know they'd be so furious when I was first sorted; I thought they'd take it better than they did. But, after daily letters of them detailing their immense disappointment in me for disgracing the family by my sorting all first term, I somehow had an inkling that they'd still be mad at Christmas." He smirked at his own cynical humor.

 _He's always hated his letters. That's what they were saying to him? Merlin, that's awful._

"That's what all your letters were about?"

"Couldn't you tell?" Sirius sounded genuinely surprised. "I mean I know I'm not transparent; James is too wrapped up in his own fantasy world to catch on to them, and Peter's just too daft, but I thought you knew. I mean, you even mentioned knowing that my parents are mad at me for being in Gryffindor."

"Yes but… I didn't think they were that mad. Mad enough to send daily letters about it… or still be angry at Christmas."

"Eh, my mother doesn't get mad; she gets furious."

"Oh" Remus replied; he didn't know how else to answer. Sirius looked back out the window. It was raining heavily now, and countless drips ran along the glass, distorting the landscape view.

"I don't care" Sirius muttered softly, still facing away from him. "By next Christmas everything will be back to normal. They can't stay this angry forever."

They were both quiet for a while after that as Sirius cooled off and Remus waited patiently, not knowing at all what to say in such a situation. Luckily, with Sirius, it was often best not to say anything. After a time, Sirius turned back to him, his expression observant rather than defensive.

"You look better than you usually do after going home" Sirius commented.

 _That's because the full moon was a while ago._ Of course, Remus knew he couldn't explain that. He merely shrugged, not wanting to offer up any more lies to his friend.

* * *

 **(Peter Pettigrew)**

After a delicious welcome back feast in the Great Hall and a few ours catching up with their fellow Gryffindors in the common room, the four boys made their way up to their dormitory.

"School sweet school" James remarked as he stepped inside. Sirius rushed over to his own bed and flopped down on it face first and hugged a pillow. "Someone missed his bed" James laughed.

"Shove off" Sirius mumbled defensively, curling up to face them, still holding the pillow tightly to him. "I just want to go to bed is all."

To Peter's surprise, James didn't object. Instead, his face finally fell; it was the last straw in a day and night of being shut down by Sirius on any attempt to talk or joke with him. James looked over at Peter as he went over to climb onto his own bed. Peter couldn't help but feel badly for James, who looked incredibly disheartened and confused.

They all readied for bed in a rather uncomfortable silence. Peter tried to lighten the mood as best he could by talking about how excited he was to explore the castle more in the coming weeks, and how much he had missed the feasts. Most of his effort was in vain, but he thought that at least Remus and James appreciated his attempts. Sirius and Remus had their bed curtains closed before he and James did.

"Do you want to play a game of snap downstairs before bed?" Peter offered. Truthfully, he was very tired, but he felt like he shouldn't go to bed without trying everything he could to cheer up his friend. James looked across at him from his own bed, where he was seated cross-legged.

"Did I do something?" James muttered quietly enough so that only Peter would be able to hear him.

"I don't think so."

"This always happens to me." James laid down, looking miserable. Peter was confused.

"What d'you mean?"

James just shook his head.

"I don't want to talk about it. Night, Peter."

Peter didn't want to go to bed with James upset, but now he was given no choice.

"Night, James. I'm sure everything will be alright in the morning."

* * *

 **Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!**


	18. Chapter 17: Evans' Friend

Thank you so much to VoicesOffCamera for beta reading!

 **.**

 **.**

* * *

 **(James Potter)**

The morning after returning to Hogwarts arrived early for James. The cold winter wind could be heard loudly as it crashed its way around Gryffindor tower. From inside his heavy red bed curtains, he couldn't yet see the dim rays of sunlight that crept their way through the dormitory windows despite the grey sky. He lay awake after adorning his round-rimmed glasses just thinking over everything he had said to his moodiest friend since their return. James was determined to make amends for whatever it was that had gone wrong since they'd parted at the end of first term. He was not going to let it happen again; he was not going to lose another friend, especially not Sirius.

There was a time when James Potter would not have recognized the situation for what it was; there were many times, in fact, when he did not. But he knew now. His mother had tried, in her way, to prepare him for it all break. Of course, she had tried to be subtle with her interpretations of why his new best friend didn't reply to any of his letters, but he had known. It was the one thing that had been the downfall in many of his friendships: jealousy. He had known well enough for some time that Sirius was somewhat jealous of him, though he didn't exactly understand why. For once, it had nothing to do with Quidditch; he was certain of that at least.

 _It happens most when I talk about my family._

He had indeed come onto the train talking on about his parents and his holidays, but was that really something that someone had a right to be jealous over?

 _It's not like I said anything bad about his family._

He racked his brain, trying to be absolutely certain that he hadn't said something offensive. Surely he had communicated his fair share of negative opinions of the Black family last term, but he hadn't said anything on the train or at dinner. He was desperate to understand so that he could fix it.

 _I need to fix this._

A familiar chiming noise of Peter's alarm went off, growing gradually louder in the few seconds that it took Peter to wake up and locate it with one arm stuck outside of his bed curtains.

"Sorry!" came a small voice.

"It's alright, mate." James couldn't help but grin. He had missed Peter even though he had seen him twice over the holidays. He didn't have siblings to grow up with, and he found that he quite liked having others his own age to live with and spend time with each day. Both boys opened their bed curtains. Peter was sitting up and smiling, friendly as could be.

"My mum must have set it before I packed it. I told her I didn't use it, but…" he gave an explanatory shrug. "D'you suppose we'll get a lot of assignments today?"

"Ugh. I didn't think about that." He'd have to get back into the swing of doing homework again every day now that he was back at school.

"Sorry for the reminder" he said smirking. He stretched. "You know, I forgot how much more comfortable my bed at home is compared to this one." He gave a small laugh. "Can't wait for breakfast! There's really nothing like a Hogwarts breakfast. But don't you dare tell my mum that."

James laughed.

"You can say that again" came Sirius' voice from across the room. Peter shot James a look that read 'guess he's in a better mood?'.

"Good morning, Sirius" Peter replied after his brief exchange with James.

"Is it?" he replied sarcastically as he pulled open his own bed curtains. James rolled his eyes and ignored him.

"Bet I can get ready faster than you" James grinned at Peter.

Without even replying, Peter leapt from the bed and sprinted to the bathroom. James raced after him and got there just in time to battle over him closing the door. Both were laughing happily and James heaved his way in and shoved Peter playfully away from the sink, causing Peter to squirt toothpaste all over the floor.

"Ha!" James yelled, trying to wrestle the toothpaste out of Peter's clenched hand. Peter was half laughing half screaming.

Remus, woken by their ruckus, hurried from his bed to see what all the noise was about. He let out a very quiet laugh just as there was a loud banging on the door to their dormitory. Jumping as if he'd walked through a ghost, Remus rushed to open it.

Cassian Spinnet, fifth year prefect, stood in the doorway with a very stern look on his face. His arms were folded tightly in what James instantly recognized as the 'you're in for it' pose. He walked right in without invitation, stopping a few feet outside of the lavatory door as he spotted James and Peter wrestling over the toothpaste.

"Come right in, why don't you" Sirius said sarcastically, gesturing his hands to give dramatically usher him in. Cassian ignored him.

"What in the world is all this noise? You know, some of us have first period off."

James and Peter both stared at him, one hand each still clasped tightly on the toothpaste.

"We…um," Peter began. "We're brushing our teeth." James, Sirius, and even Peter couldn't hold in their sudden laughter at such a ridiculous reply. Cassian raised his eyebrows at them, not looking in the slightest bit amused. It was then that James took in that he was still in his pajamas – his prefect badge pinned to the front pocket of his pinstriped shirt.

 _As if we could have forgotten he was a prefect._ He'd been boasting rather obnoxiously about it three people down the table from him at dinner.

"Yes, well, do it more quietly in the future. Understood?" James thought his tone was a tad aggressive for the crime.

"Yes" Peter answered with a broad smile.

"When they made you a prefect, did they know you'd be restricting people's teeth brushing habits?" Sirius asked loftily. "Is there some sort of guide that grants you permission to just barge into our room and dictate our morning routines?"

Cassian turned on him, his facing growing redder.

"You are aware that I'm allowed to dock points, aren't you?"

"Go right ahead. I bet that would earn you Gryffindor's favorite prefect award."

James fought the urge to interject that they absolutely did not want house points taken away, but he managed to refrain. _He wouldn't dock points from his own house. Who would do that? It'd be like treason._

"I wouldn't be nearly as disliked as the first-year who lost us the points."

"Let's find out" Sirius said confidently as he stood up. "I'm willing. How many should we go for? Five? Ten?"

 _No way!_ James quickly got to his feet. He had to stop this ridiculousness. Before he could intervene, Cassian shook his head at them and left without another word, closing the door loudly behind him.

James shot a mock stern face at Peter.

"Yeah, Pete. Brush your teeth more quietly." Peter smirked back, but James could see that he was thinking the same thing: what in the hell was Sirius thinking. They went back into the bedroom to find Remus looking shell-shocked and Sirius still fuming.

"I say we fill his dormitory with toothpaste" Sirius huffed as he switched into his robes. Peter giggled.

"But that wouldn't be fair to his dorm mates, and let's face it, they already have to put up with living with him" James replied.

"Well we should do something to get back at that obnoxious git. He just came right in."

"Actually Remus opened the door for him" Peter protested. James stole a glance at Remus, who seemed to shrink in on himself in guilt.

"Yes, but Remus didn't invite him to walk in" Sirius said dismissively. He suddenly seemed to catch himself and he looked over at Remus, his tone changing to a more docile one. "It's not your fault, Remus."

Remus, their most quiet and shy friend, did not seem to believe him, but he nodded sadly to be agreeable.

"I just wish there was a way to get back at him. Then I'd feel better" Sirius announced. Almost inaudible, they could just make out Remus muttering something. All three turned to stare at him.

"What, Remus?" James asked encouragingly. He looked almost reluctant to answer.

"Vox iterum."

"What's that?"

"A jinx." His words could barely be heard. "It can make someone hear the same thing over and over."

Sirius broke into a huge grin.

"Like the brushing of teeth?" Sirius asked, growing more excited.

Remus nodded, looking exceedingly guilt-ridden.

"That's possible?" James exclaimed joyously. "How d'you know about that, Remus?"

"Chapter 36 in the defense book" he literally whispered.

"But we're only on chapter seven" Peter replied. Remus shrugged and looked down at the floor.

"Thank Merlin one of us is bookish!" Sirius cheered. "Remus, you're a genius." He ran over to his own trunk and began digging around for his Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook.

James exchanged a grin with Peter. Fifteen minutes later they were fully caught up on the details of the jinx and its countercurse.

"Who wants to cast it on him at breakfast?" Sirius asked.

"Shouldn't we practice it first?" Peter asked in alarm. "I mean, what if we mess it up and actually damage his ears or something and then he ends up listening to brushing teeth for the rest of his life?"

Sirius groaned as if this was rather a waste of time, but he said

"Fine. You can test it out on me. Just be quick about it; I'm hungry."

"But what if we mess it up on you?"

"Eh" he said with a shrug. "I trust you. Well, James anyway. No offense Peter, but I'm not letting you test it on me." Peter looked slightly put off, but he didn't object. "Go on, James. Let's get this over with."

James wasn't entirely comfortable with the position he was now in; yet, he was nearly as reckless as Sirius, and so he quickly put his reservations aside, focused his mind on the sound of brushing teeth, and aimed the jinx at Sirius' ears.

"Vox iterum." Sirius didn't move, but after a few seconds he made a face and rubbed his ear with his shoulder.

"Wow. It works. …Merlin this is annoying. Do the countercurse." James hurried to counteract the jinx. Sirius was smiling. "Brilliant. James, you cast it on Spinett at breakfast.

"He will know it was us" Peter logically reminded James fifteen minutes as they made their way down to breakfast.

"Yes." There was nothing more to say about it. If the one flaw in their plan was that Spinett figured out it was them then it was still worth it in his opinion.

 _Besides, it's mostly harmless._

He wasn't particularly upset with Spinett for barging in; instead he was frustrated with the fact that he had threatened to take points from his own house. Regardless, he deemed the retaliation as all in good fun anyway.

He glanced over his shoulder to see that Sirius was several paces behind them. Despite their plan, his friend still wasn't acting quite like himself. James hung back, allowing the other two to pass him.

"Hey" he muttered casually to Sirius when he caught up with him.

"Hi." He sounded bored.

 _Better to just come out with it._

"I'm sorry, you know."

"What?" Sirius looked bewildered.

"I'm sorry for whatever I did or said that made you upset with me. I didn't mean to, and I'm sorry." He got his words out very quickly, hoping that they could both just move on, but Sirius stopped walking. They both stood quietly for a moment while Sirius attempted to collect his thoughts. At last, he spoke.

"It's not your fault. …I was being a prat."

James was very surprised to get such a sincere reaction from Sirius. He wanted to ask him why he was being a prat, after all, he had just confessed to it, but he didn't want to push his luck.

"How about we nick some brooms later and go flying?" James suggested.

"It looks like it's going to snow."

"And?" James grinned back, grateful for the change in subject, and that things seemed like they might return to usual between them now. Sirius smirked, shrugging.

"And don't forget to remind me to wear my Gryffindor scarf when we go out."

* * *

 **(Sirius Black)**

By mid-day, Sirius had sent a total of four letters to Regulus with four different owls since he had returned to school the evening before. He'd had to write them hastily inside his bed curtains and in the public lavatory so that the others wouldn't see him. It was harder than one would think to find privacy in such a massive castle. He was also running out of excuses to take long trips alone, which was when he'd run up to the owlery and back. In his last attempt, he had even written "From Rabastan Lestrange" on the outside in an attempt for it to skip his mother's surveillance.

He was fairly certain that Regulus would have written back by now if he had been given any of the letters. True, maybe he wasn't giving it quite enough time, and maybe Regulus wasn't going to just drop everything and write back to him immediately, but he was mostly certain that Regulus should have received at least two of his letters by now.

He had kept a lookout for owls all morning, even during his classes. Every time he heard the ruffling of parchment, he'd look up to see if it had in fact been the rustling of feathers.

As the morning progressed into afternoon, they'd received so much homework that James – remarkably - was the one to put off flying.

"I think I may actually have to go to the library tonight" James sighed as their third essay was assigned. Remus brightened up; he clearly enjoyed the prospect of having company in there for a change.

"Me too" Peter groaned, scooping up his Transfiguration textbook and rising from his chair as class was dismissed. The four of them made their way to lunch rather drearily.

At lunch, Spinett came storming up to them at the Gryffindor table. He was glaring mostly at Sirius.

"I know it was you" he said furiously.

 _Why does everybody always just assume it was me when something bad happens?_

"I don't know what you're talking about" he replied flatly, doing his upmost best to not give Spinett the time of day as he scooped food onto his plate like he wasn't standing there.

"I had to go to Madam Pomfrey to make it stop. I'm sure you think you're very clever."

"To make what stop? Do any of you know what he's on about?"

"Not a clue" James looked nearly as innocent as he did. _If anyone will give us away with a guilty conscious, it'll be Remus._

"No idea" Peter said. Remus shrugged and shook his head, and Sirius figured that he was not quite able to pull off lying outright to a prefect. Spinett looked furious; still Sirius only found his anger amusing.

"D'you mind? First you intrude on our morning and now you're bothering us at lunch."

"Watch yourself, Black." He pointed a stern finger at him, as if he was teaching him some sort of lesson, and then walked off to join his own friends down the table. Once he was safely out of earshot, James broke out laughing.

"You berk" Sirius grinned. "Why'd he think it was me?" Though he found it amusing, it was a genuine question.

"Why wouldn't he think it was you?" James laughed.

"Because it wasn't!"

James only laughed at him and shook his head.

There was little more excitement for the rest of the afternoon save for additional mountains of homework. To Sirius' dismay, there were no more letters arriving for him either. After dinner, the four first-years made their way slowly up to Gryffindor tower to collect what they needed for the library and then began their long walk back down to the main floor.

They found a cozy spot at a corner table where they could all lay out their work and still have space. Sirius had no desire at all to do homework, so he decided he would complete the assignments in as little time as he could possibly manage. He always seemed to receive good marks, even when he did his work rushed, so that was how he planned to continue. He had learned mostly everything in his lessons at home prior to coming to school anyway. Remus on the other hand, was working on a two page outline prior to even beginning his first essay.

"Oh no!" James groaned before he had even sat down.

"What?" Peter asked urgently.

"I forgot my stupid potions notes."

"You can borrow mine."

James tried not to look ungrateful, but there was no way anyone in their right mind would want to borrow Peter's notes for an assignment.

"Er, thanks Pete, but I, er…"

"Don't want to borrow your notes because you don't take very good notes" Sirius finished for him bluntly. Peter scowled across the table at him. Sirius gave an innocent shrug. "What? I'm honest."

"I think James just means that it's easier to work off one's own notes" Remus said softly to Peter.

"Yes" James beamed. "That's correct. …Except Remus' notes are remarkably easy to work from actually. So…"

Sirius rolled his eyes and smirked down at his own transfiguration textbook.

"I didn't plan to work on potions today, so my notes are in the dormitory" Remus muttered quickly, clearly feeling guilty for Peter's sake. James groaned and looked at Sirius in a last attempt. Sirius scoffed comically at him.

"Don't look at me. I don't take notes."

"I hate all of you" James grumbled as he snatched up his wand and left without a backwards glance.

They worked productively for the most part until Peter spoke up.

"Shouldn't James have been back by now?" Remus and Sirius looked up at him from their side of the table.

"When'd he leave?" Sirius asked. "My timing's off. Every time I do work it's like I'm living in dog years."

"What?" Remus laughed. Sirius grinned. Making Remus laugh was rare.

"Everything feels seven times longer than it really is."

"He left forty minutes ago at least" Peter reminded them stubbornly. "We all know what happened the last time one of us went missing." Sirius went rigid at the sudden mentioning of that evening.

 _They wouldn't attack James. And he'd know better. This is different._ Still, he did now feel a little uneasy.

"Well, what are we waiting for then?" Sirius stood up abruptly. "Let's go find him." They hastily packed up their things and began their search.

"One of us should check Gryffindor tower, don't you think?" Peter asked.

"Sure" Sirius replied, shoving his and James' books on top of Peter's, and then grabbing Remus' books and doing the same. "Take these with you. It'll slow us down lugging them around." Peter looked weary but he didn't complain as he set off towards Gryffindor tower. Remus looked up at him, looking very worried. "I'm sure James is fine. Let's just try to find him."

The search started off calmly enough, but when an hour had passed, and they had checked every plausible spot, along with anywhere else they happened to pass by, Sirius was starting to get a little more nervous. They'd even managed to stumble upon Peter, who had been looking for both them and James since he'd come down from the common room. It wasn't the best sign that Peter had been able to find them by chance and they couldn't even find James while searching.

Two hours passed since they'd began their search.

"This is bloody ridiculous! How is anyone supposed to find anyone in this bloody school?!" Sirius snapped furiously.

His mind kept wondering if they should find some way to check the Slytherin common room. _But they'd have no reason to attack James._ He knew it wasn't logical.

"I think we should ask a professor for help" Remus suggested sensibly. But, to Sirius, asking an adult for help was the most useless idea in the world.

They rounded a corner and came face-to-face with one Bellatrix Black. He faltered for only a moment and then charged toward her.

"Where is he?" he demanded rather more aggressively than was needed, especially since he didn't really think that there was a high probability of her knowing anything about where James Potter currently was at. Her dark eyes widened in surprise and then she smirked condescendingly at him.

"I have no idea of whom you're talking about." He wanted to believe her, but she was using that mock serious voice that made it sound like she was lying for sport.

"James Potter. Where is he?"

Her face contorted in disgust.

"Why would I know where your little blood-traitor friend is?" He glared at her, unable to tell whether or not she was telling the truth. "Personally, I hope he's a long fall off the astronomy tower" she laughed. Sirius pulled out his wand almost without realizing. Bellatrix only looked amused. "Don't even think about it. One try and I'll be writing a nice long letter to my favorite aunt and uncle."

He knew he wouldn't be able to beat her with anger or force. She surpassed him in those areas. He took a deep breath.

"Please Bella" he asked as calmly and respectfully as he could manage given the fact that he wished he could blast her into the far wall. "He's missing and I just want to know if you know where he is." At last, she grinned. Though, he knew that grin. He'd pleased her, and she wanted something.

"I'll tell you what I know... if you give me the password to the Gryffindor common room."

"Why d'you need that?" he asked in astonishment.

"That's none of your concern. Besides, maybe I just want to prove that you're not really a loyal little lion after all. You don't belong anywhere."

Sirius didn't know what to do. How sure was he that she even knew anything? Would she believe him if he just gave her a fake password? He didn't have more than a few seconds to ponder because Remus was suddenly beside him.

"I don't think she knows anything about where James is, Sirius. If they had him, she'd be with them. We should just keep looking." His words brought Sirius back to his senses and he nodded.

"You're right. Let's go." They turned their backs to her but she grabbed him back by his arm and jerked him back.

"Don't you turn your back on me, you little brat" she hissed. Without thinking, Sirius cast a stinging hex at her. She let out a little yelp and released him out of reflex.

"Run!" Sirius shouted and the three of them took off running as fast as they possibly could towards the staircases.

"You little monster!" She screeched after them, her voice echoing off the stone walls.

"Jump!" Sirius called ahead to them.

Peter and Remus were approaching the staircase down just as it was about to change. The two of them both took running leaps and landed roughly on the staircase down below them. Sirius knew she wasn't far behind. He willed himself to run faster and then, without even looking to see that the staircase was still in reach, he jumped straight off the end. He was in free fall for a few seconds before crashing hard onto the top of the downward staircase below him. He tried to catch his grip but the worn marble was slippery and he went tumbling down the staircase.

Just as the top of their staircase came into contact with the staircase above it, the one below him shifted. He could just see that he was going to fall off the staircases completely, six floors up, if he didn't catch on to something. It was all happening so fast, and then there was nothing under his legs, and then – stop. Two tight fists had managed to grab one of his wrists in the last second. He was half off the staircase, but he was being pulled back up onto it. The slow in momentum allowed him to use his other hand to climb back on as well and he helped to pull himself safely back onto the stairs. He lay sprawled out on the staircase for a moment with his eyes shut, breathing heavily.

That was when he noticed that someone was still holding his wrist in a death grip. He opened his eyes and looked up. Peter and Remus were on either side of him, and Remus, white as a ghost, was holding his wrist.

"You can let go now" Sirius gasped, breathing heavily. Remus instantly released him, looking as though he had not even realized he was still holding his wrist. He looked positively terrified. "Thanks" Sirius managed, siting up. He let out a small nervous laugh. "Good reflexes."

When they'd managed to regain themselves enough to stand, they took the first exit onto a corridor. They were all eager to get off of the staircases.

"You could have broken your neck" Peter exclaimed once they were safely off the stairs. Sirius rubbed the back of his neck, panting. Plummeting down a tall flight of marble stairs left him aching.

"But I didn't."

"You would have fallen to your death" Peter insisted, looking sick. "If Remus hadn't gotten to you,… I-I wasn't fast enough, and…you would have…"

Sirius shook his head at him.

"Nahh, I would have caught myself on the last step and held on. The other staircase was on its way. Don't be dramatic, Peter." He gave Peter a little nudge forward and he stumbled on ahead of him and Remus. Then he put his hands together in a "thank Merlin" expression and mouthed "Thank you for saving my life" dramatically to Remus.

Remus tried to smile, but it was clear that he too was taking the situation quite seriously. Sirius knew it was true; he had not been about to catch himself, and if Remus hadn't been there, he probably would have just died. Still, he had bigger things to worry about than that now that it was over; if anyone knew how to hold a grudge, it was her.

 _Bella is going to murder me._

* * *

 **(Remus Lupin)**

By absolute luck, they were passing Professor McGonagall's office as they made their way along searching for James.

"We should ask Professor McGonagall" Remus said aloud. He felt so strongly about this that he was going to do it whether Sirius and Peter agreed with him or not.

"Alright" Sirius consented, much to Remus' relief. Professor McGonagall's office door was closed. Sirius knocked on it rather loudly.

"Come in." Sirius pushed open the door without delay and the three of them entered. They all instantly took in the same scene: Professor McGonagall behind her desk, three occupied desks in front of her, two Slytherin boys, and one James Potter. All three of them had turned to look at the new entrants.

James broke into a wide confident grin. Relief spread through Remus upon seeing that James was indeed safe and perfectly unharmed.

"I believe they're here to see me, Professor." His tone could not have been more egotistical. McGonagall raised her eyebrows.

"Not everything is about you, Potter." She looked at the three boys expectantly.

"Actually, we are here for James" Sirius shot back cheerfully. "They still haven't given him his own office yet, you see."

Peter chuckled and then quickly rushed to cover his mouth. Remus on the other hand was mortified.

"Do you want to start this term off with another detention, Mr. Black?"

"It's bound to happen sooner or later, Professor. I might as well let you have the first one. My schedule fills up rather fast."

"Leave my office, Mr. Black."

"But-"

"Now" she interjected firmly. Sirius only smirked in mock defeat, as if he did not take her seriously in the slightest.

"If you insist."

Peter and Remus backed out with him, now seeing clearly that James was safe.

"Don't forget to bring my things back up from the library!" James called after them.

"Ungrateful prat" Sirius huffed, but he was grinning. "I'm going back to the dormitory and calling it a night."

 _But we've gotten hardly any homework done._

When they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, none of them were in particularly high spirits over the wasted evening.

"Were you really going to tell her our password?" Peter asked.

"'Course not" Sirius said quickly. Remus wasn't quite so sure that he believed him. "Ginger root."

Inside they were met instantly with a girl's loud voice. When they turned the corner, Remus saw instantly that it was Lily Evans. She was recanting something to the other girls in her dormitory, along with Alice Abbott and a few other Gryffindors whose names he had not yet learned

"I tried to get them to stop, but none of them would listen to a word I said." She sounded upset, both angry and sad.

"And you don't know what they were fighting about?" Abbott asked.

"No. They were already fighting when I arrived. Then Professor McGonagall came around the corner and she stopped it."

Remus wanted to ask if she meant James and those two Slytherins, but he was not comfortable interjecting. Sirius however had no qualms in doing so.

"Who was fighting?" The girls stopped talking and looked over at them.

"Potter and Sev,… and Sev's friend."

"Who was winning?" The girls gaped at him. "What? It's a normal question for a fight, isn't it?" Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

"Why don't you ask your friend, Black. I'm sure he's the one who started it."

"How's that, Evans, seeing as I just heard you say that they were already fighting when you arrived?" he shot back, his temper already growing the way it did when he got defensive.

"I know Sev, and he wouldn't start a fight."

"What about his friend then?"

"That's not what it looked like to me. Potter attacked them. I could tell."

"What rubbish. Are you a Gryffindor or not? You should be on James' side."

"So I'm supposed to condone violence just because he's in Gryffindor?"

"You're supposed to be loyal to your house."

"I am."

"Alright" Abbott cut in trying to be mediating. "Why don't you just move along upstairs boys? We were having a private conversation."

"No you weren't" Sirius shot back, ever stubborn. "You're in the common room."

In the brief moment of quiet Remus heard a giggle. All eyes fell on Carina Fawley.

* * *

 **(Sirius Black)**

"Sorry" she giggled again. "I just find this whole conversation a bit ridiculous is all. There's no reason for anyone to get worked up over it. You weren't even there, Sirius. And Lily, you didn't see it start either. There's no point in any of us trying to guess what happened. We'll hear the truth sooner or later."

Only because it was Carina, his friend, did Sirius let it go.

"Fine" he said sharply. "Good evening, ladies." He marched off towards the spiral staircase, followed closely by Remus and Peter. "Can you believe Evans?" he shouted, wheeling around as soon as he was inside.

Both of them looked a bit nervous at being with him so angry, but he couldn't help it. _How could she blame James?_

"Even if he did start it, I'm sure they deserved it" he went on. "I mean, James doesn't just go around attacking innocent people. And how in the hell is Snivellus her friend? How well could she know him?"

Neither of them answered him within a normal time frame – at least in his opinion.

"Are you just going to stand there staring at me?" he snapped at them rather harshly. He couldn't help it; he was just so furious at Evans and what he firmly considered her disloyalty to Gryffindor house by siding with Snape against James.

To his surprise, it was Remus who spoke first; his voice was low but quite steady.

"James does go around pranking people. Maybe Snape didn't take it well, or maybe James took it too far."

Sirius simply stared at him, his words not entirely computing in his still angry train of thoughts. _Remus had better be on our side in this._

"Now isn't the time to be the epitome of diplomatic." He refrained from shouting, but only barely, and only because it was Remus.

"I suppose it's the time to go around yelling and trying to pick fights with whoever's nearest you" Remus shot back calmly without missing a beat.

Sirius stared at him in shock; it was rare when those moments of witty sarcasm would show themselves in Remus, but he had known they were there, ever since the last time he was defending Lily in fact. Then, without meaning to, he let out a barking laugh. It was just too bizarre seeing such a contrasting part of Remus' personality than what he normally showed them.

Peter was looking from one to the other as if wondering whether he should prepare for an explosion or relax and laugh with them. Sirius shot Peter a 'can you believe Remus just said that to me' look as he laughed. Peter returned it with a nervous smile.

"Well then, I'm just going to get ready for bed and then try to get some homework done" Peter announced in what was clearly an excuse to leave the situation. However, Remus followed him into the bathroom too.

Sirius sighed heavily, wishing that he wasn't still so angry. _Why am I still so mad?_

He seemed to be the only one. He thought briefly of his family, and how quickly they'd get furious, and how it'd take weeks for his mother to stop being incensed over the smallest of things.

 _I'm not like her_ , he assured himself rapidly.

Just then there was a knock on the door. _If that is bloody Cassian Spinett-_

It was Carina, standing there smirking at them like she owned the world. She strolled in without invitation.

"They started talking about their holidays again, so I had to make my escape."

"D'you think James started it?" Sirius asked rather more aggressively than he meant to. Carina, unlike both Peter and Remus, didn't look in the least bit unsettled. In fact she gave a laugh, as if she found his inability to hold his temper comical, and she put out her hands in mock defense.

"Down boy." He knew she was teasing him. "I think James is perfectly capable of fighting his own battles. Besides, I don't really care either way about who started it. It's more about who finishes in a fight, and unfortunately McGonagall takes the gold on that one."

"You aren't amusing" he muttered, finally realizing that he may have over-reacted.

"Really?" she asked, her tone and expression still aloof and exuberating confidence. "Give it time. I find that honesty is always the most entertaining in the long run." She sat down on his bed without invitation. "How were your holidays?"

"Joyous" Sirius replied, his voice dripping with as much sarcasm as he could muster.

"I bet mine were more joyous." Her tone was slightly more serious now. He crossed his arms and turned to face her. He was still standing in the middle of the room. He shot a glance at the half-open bathroom door to check that Peter and Remus where still occupied. Still, he had to be discreet; he wasn't about to tell Peter and Remus to leave the room, but he didn't need them knowing more than they needed to either.

"Tomato bisque." He wasn't sure if she'd understand what he was telling her, but he was curious to know how her holidays had actually gone. She was the only person he could think of that might have had as bad of a time at home as he'd had.

Carina stared back at him a moment. For a second he thought she wasn't going to understand, but then she smirked.

"Uncooked spinach."

He couldn't help it. He let out a barking laugh. _That's worse._ Uncooked spinach was a worse welcome home meal than tomato bisque. He felt guilty for laughing but then she started laughing too.

"Wow" he said at last, unable to stop grinning. "You win."

She placed a hand to her chest and dramatically pretended to be giving an acceptance speech.

"I'd like to thank my parents."

"What are you two laughing about?" Peter asked as he and Remus re-entered their room. Neither he nor Carina answered him. Just then the door to their dormitory hurtled open with a jolting bang.

"Miss me?" James cheered, bounding energetically into the room and taking a running leap onto his bed.

"We spent hours looking for you" Peter informed him. James made a guilty face, but it was made less effective by the fact that he was still grinning.

"Sorry. I would've come back but McGonagall wouldn't let me."

"We heard you got into a fight with Snivellus" Sirius smirked.

"You heard correct. Evans I take it?"

"Yeah."

"Merlin, for top of the class, she can be pretty thick."

"What do you mean?" Carina asked, interest peaking.

"Well I was on my way up to the dormitory to get my potions notes when I overheard Snape and that Cain bloke talking about –" he quickly cut short. "-About the "m" word for muggleborns. They were going on about how they couldn't stand them and how they couldn't stand muggles either, and how they support some new nutty movement or other. So I went up to them and told them off, and they didn't take it well, so I…" again he trailed off, but this time he was smirking guiltily. "I was so furious. I don't know enough dueling spells, so I just… tackled Snivellus to the ground."

All four of them gaped at him.

"Well, I guess we know who was right downstairs then" Carina announced, breaking the silence after a few seconds.

"But there were two of them" Peter squeaked. James shrugged.

"Yeah, well, I don't think I would have ended up winning. I wasn't really thinking it through. And then, who should come around the corner but Evans. She started trying to get us to stop and then she was calling for a professor. And then I remembered that she's **friends** with him. She's friends with him and he hates muggleborns and talks about them…well worse than Sirius did before he knew better. I tried to tell her but she didn't believe me."

"We knew there was something off about him" Peter told them, nodding.

"Yes" James said heatedly. "And he has to pay. No one's allowed to talk about other people like that. Especially not when he pretends to be their friend. Vile greasy git. …Let's plan."


	19. Chapter 18: Andromeda

I know that there was a very long delay for this chapter, so I apologize.

Thank you for the reviews; I really appreciate them. Thank you very much to HLN, who left a review about waiting for this chapter. That made my day! :-)

* * *

 **(Sirius Black)**

They were sitting in the rather full Gryffindor common room that Saturday when a large snowy owl pecked at the window. One of the older students who was near the window let the bird in without delay. It swooped gracefully over to Sirius and landed in front of him carrying a sealed letter. He knew instantly that it was from Andromeda. He'd recognize her owl anywhere.

He used to see Andromeda almost as often as Bellatrix and Narcissa. Their families would often vacation together and they were always in attendance at the same social functions. She was ten years his senior and so she was often missing from gatherings he could recall because she had been away at Hogwarts. Still, she had always been his favorite cousin for as long as he could remember.

Andromeda had been different than Bellatrix and Narcissa; all three were spoilt. Of course her parents would dote on her and buy her all the latest fashions and jewelry and anything else she saw that caught her fancy, but she had not come across spoiled the way her sisters did – at least not that he could remember.

Most of his relatives weren't particularly nurturing to him, even when he was a young child. But she had at least made the effort to talk with him and Regulus kindly. She would speak to him as if he were a real person with thoughts, opinions, and feelings, which was so rare in his family. Right from the start, she had made such an impression on him.

If she'd had thoughts and opinions that went against their family's views, she had done a very successful job of hiding them – a much better job than he did. Their whole had family adored her up until the day she was gone.

He wasn't there the night that she told her immediate family about her muggleborn fiancé. However, he could still remember when his mother received the letter from his Aunt Druella. She had screamed for his father and then they both had looked so horrified – as if someone had been killed. Even at that moment, he could tell that something incredibly major had happened - something that would affect everyone.

Andromeda, "the traitor", had "abandoned the family" after she graduated school; Sirius had been only seven. He had heard a lot of very terrible things about Andromeda after that. He had tried to ask why she was a traitor, what was so bad about marrying a muggleborn, and why she wanted nothing more to do with them. He didn't understand why anyone would give up their family.

They all had to wear all black for a whole month. "Is Andromeda dead?" Regulus had asked him, and he hadn't known how to answer: "I don't know." After a month had ended, he learned the word "disavowed". She had been disavowed and he had been informed that she was no longer his cousin and that he was never allowed to speak to her, or of her, ever again. That had been the worst day of his life.

When her image had been burnt off of the family tapestry, Sirius had believed his relatives when they'd told him that he'd never see or hear from her again. She was dead to them and therefore was supposed to be dead to him. All of his extended family came. They'd all had to stand there in all black inside his family's drawing room staring at the tapestry of his family tree. His grandfather Pollux had spoken to all of them while they listened; Sirius had not agreed with what he had said about Andromeda. He had asked his father in a whisper if he could go up in front too and tell everyone what Andromeda was really like, but he had said no.

That night, he'd made himself sick crying over losing the only person in the world, besides Regulus, who he considered to be kind. Regulus had been too young to understand what it meant when someone was never coming back; he had not been as close with her as Sirius had been, and Sirius knew it. He had felt like he was the only one mourning her loss.

It was made known that he was never allowed to even speak her name ever again. He hadn't spoken to, or heard mention of Andromeda, for a year and a half after that day - not until the day she'd shown up unexpectedly at her parents' house when his family was over. She'd come alone, without her husband – a muggleborn that none of them had met. She'd been pregnant. She'd been trying to make amends.

He didn't understand as he watched the scene play out – as they all watched their family drama play out. He was savvy enough to see that she had not willingly left their family. They had driven her away. They had driven their Andromeda away because she did something so wrong that it betrayed them all. But he didn't understand why she had done it, or why it was so bad that they would rather pretend she was dead than talk to her and one day meet her baby.

They didn't even let her come into the house. After that, she'd left crying and angry, and Sirius had excused himself to use the bathroom, but he'd really left and ran after her.

 **.**

 _"Drommie! Drommie wait!" He'd yelled, running after her down the long stone walkway, which was lined with tall sculpted hedges, as fast as his legs could carry him. She had stopped and waited for him to catch up. Her pale cheeks were streaked with tears and still she was crying._

 _"Sirius, go back inside. You'll get into trouble for talking to me."_

 _"I don't care. I miss you, Drommie. Don't…don't go." But he'd known that she had to go. She looked shocked. To his surprise she'd actually choked out a laugh and she'd cupped his face in her hands softly._

 _"You don't hate me too?" she'd asked._

 _"No! No, of course not." She'd stared at him for a long time, almost in awe._

 _"Even Narcissa won't speak to me. Maybe…maybe you and I could still be family, Sirius. But we'll have to be very careful. No one can know, or you would get in so much trouble, and I couldn't live with myself if I was selfish enough to let that happen. …But it would be so nice to have a part of my family back again. Especially with the baby coming…"_

 **.**

They had corresponded irregularly after that, never frequently, and usually with little more information exchanged than a "Hello. Hope you're well. The baby is well" in case Orion or Walburga got their hands on any of the letters before he did. He was always careful to destroy her letters in the fireplace in his bedroom after reading them. That was before they'd screened his letters…back before Gryffindor…when he only knew the people they wanted him to know and would therefore have no one unacceptable to communicate with. Andromeda had never been able to divulge too much in her letters, like where she was living, in case they fell into his parents' hands. But their communication had been a comfort both to her and to him.

When she'd first sent him a letter at Hogwarts, he had been worried that he'd lose her due to his sorting. But she had been proud of him. She had congratulated him… she was the only one.

He glanced around the common room. He wanted to open up her letter in private. Their relationship, like all relationships in his family, had always been very formal. He didn't need anyone – James – reading over his shoulder and laughing at the way his cousin addressed him so properly. He didn't care; he wouldn't have cared if she made him call her ma'am as long as she kept writing to him. She was all he had as far as letters went – enjoyable letters anyway.

"I'm going to go upstairs." All three of them looked at him curiously.

"Alright, mate?" James asked.

"Yeah" he nodded "It's from Drommie so …" _So it's not going to say vile things about me._ He bolted up the spiral stairs to the dormitory as he was very eager to hear from her. He lay on his bed and quickly ripped open the envelope.

 ** _Dear Sirius,_**

 ** _I must confess, cousin, that I deeply regret not writing to you earlier upon your return to school. I am afraid that I have been rather beside myself with the baby and I lost track of when the second term would begin._**

 ** _I am relieved, to say the least, that you are now back at Hogwarts, though I regret having to write it. I do sincerely hope that you were well-received at home. I remember vividly how your mother and father can be when vexed. I worried for you over the entire holiday. Please write back to me as promptly as possible so that I know you are alright._**

 ** _I trust that you are settling back into the school routine seamlessly, as you always were one to excel in your lessons. How are your classes going?_**

 ** _To keep you updated, Ted, Nymphadora, and I are doing quite well despite the fact that we remain unable to acquire a house elf. At this point, I think we may have to leave country in order to get one. I have reason to believe that it's my fault and that our family has used its influence to spite my well-being. I do say that it is the sincerest of blessings that Ted is familiar with cleaning spells or else I really do not know how I would manage. His darling mother has been helping us so much over the past few years, and especially with the baby, but I honestly am not sure what I am going to do if we cannot get some help in here._**

 ** _I have not been able to properly shop in nearly four seasons, yet Dora has managed to ruin nearly every dress and blouse I own. I don't know if you remember my favorite one? The cerulean silk with the little silver buttons. Well, last month she was sick all over it and we just couldn't save it._**

 ** _On a similar, though slightly happier, note, I have tried my hand at cooking. I made a salad the other day. Of course Ted prepared the ingredients, but I mixed them and tasted the dressing to perfection. He was so proud. Really it wasn't so challenging, so I really don't know what the fuss has been about all these years. Tomorrow Ted has said that he will teach me how to cook an egg. Wish me luck!_**

 ** _Truthfully, I am so fond of writing to you. I feel we have been robbed of it all these years while we had to write with such secrecy and vagueness. I am quite looking forward to having so many more details exchanged between us._**

 ** _Now I must go for Dora has just woken from her nap and Ted is out in the garden. Furthermore, I do not wish to delay this letter getting to you any longer than I have done already._**

 ** _For fear of being remiss, I reiterate to please write back to me as soon as you receive this regarding how your holiday went at home._**

 ** _Hoping you are well and devotedly awaiting your owl, my dearest cousin!_**

 ** _Andromeda_**

He couldn't stop smiling as he read her letter through for a second and then a third time. _She cares about me. She cares about my holidays and my classes._ He was so eternally grateful that she cared to ask these things. She was fond of writing to him. He kept reading over his favorite lines: "Truthfully, I am so fond of writing to you" and "Hoping you are well and devotedly awaiting your owl, my dearest cousin!". He had it in his hand, real proof that Andromeda was alive and well, that she hadn't betrayed and abandoned their family, and that she cared about him. He hadn't seen her years and yet she still wrote to him, and she had still sent him a birthday present last term.

It was clear that she missed their family. She was telling him things that no eleven-year-old boy would be interested in hearing. How would he have possibly remembered her favorite shirt? Did he really care at all about her shopping save for the fact that it effected her happiness? But he knew why she was sharing these things with him. Like him, she had no one else.

He was the only person from her family who she had been able to remain in contact with. Her whole life, and everyone in it, had been taken from her when she was seventeen. He felt a slight obligation to be everything for her: a cousin, a sibling, a parent. She had no one else in her own family and from her own childhood to share the details of her marriage, her child, and her new life with. That was why Sirius was never going to write that he didn't remember or care what her favorite blouse was, or that he wasn't sure making a salad constituted as cooking. He was thankful that she had at least married someone who knew enough to take care of things for her because Merlin knew she had never been expected to lift a finger, or even pull out her own chair, at home.

 _What a change it must have been for her when she left, if she is still experiencing it now._

He decided he'd write her back immediately, just as she'd requested. _You're lucky I'm reading this alone, Drommie._ He definitely would not have written back to her in front of his friends, especially since he planned to write all formal and sweet the way that he usually did with her, simply because she was **Andromeda**.

 ** _Dear Andromeda,_**

 ** _Thank you so much for your thoughtful letter. Please do not fret over any delay. I was not anticipating a letter from you, so this was a very pleasant surprise to my afternoon._**

 ** _I assure you that I am perfectly fine. Mother and Father weren't pleased about my sorting, as you can imagine, but I am fine._**

 ** _My classes are going along well. They are easier than my lessons at home, and nearly all of the material is repetitive to what I have already studied. I assume that you faced the same dilemma of boredom as I do, as you had similar lessons, did you not? I've attempted to have the Professors teach me other things, but they are insistent that I should sit through their lessons on material that I already know. Frankly, it's ridiculous, but I think I have to stop asking them or else they may grow too offended._**

 ** _I have marvelous roommates as well: James, Remus, and Peter. I have told you their names in case I mention them in future letters – now that we are fortunate enough to share more details, as you mentioned. Please be mindful not to send me any letters while I am home, as I believe they are screening all of my mail._**

 ** _I am sorry to hear about your house elf situation. Have Ted and his mother really been cleaning, cooking, and taking care of the baby all these years without an elf? If so, I am thoroughly impressed because I wouldn't have believed it if you hadn't told me it was possible. How long does it take to bring in a house elf from another country?_**

 ** _I am sorry to hear about your clothes, Drommie. I hope the baby isn't sick. Please don't be too mad at her. I'm certain that she never meant to ruin your clothes. What color is her hair now?_**

 ** _Congratulations on successfully learning to cook! That is quite the accomplishment. You will have to let me know if making an egg is terribly harder than making a salad. The best of British luck!_**

 ** _I am very grateful for your letter, Drommie. Thank you for writing to me._**

 ** _Yours Sincerely,_**

 ** _Sirius O. Black_**

Smiling to himself still, he folded the letter up with care and handed it back to Andromeda's large owl, which was now resting on top of one of his bed posts.

"You can rest here for as long as you'd like, but bear in mind that I'm sure Andromeda asked you to return promptly."

 _I should really try to figure out why Regulus hasn't responded as well._

He was all but certain that his mother was intercepting the letters, probably on both ends. However, the last thing he wanted was for Regulus to think that he wasn't writing to him after everything that had transpired between them regarding that fact over the holiday break. He knew what he had to do, though he was anxious about doing it. Yet, he had sent nearly twenty letters to Regulus in the week since he'd returned to school and none of them had been answered.

Thus, Sirius reluctantly drew out another new piece of parchment and dipped his long-feathered quill delicately in the ink.

 ** _Father,_**

 ** _I hope that this letter finds you well. I am writing regarding Regulus' mail restrictions._**

 ** _I have written to Regulus several times, and he has yet to respond. I have reason to believe that Mother has decided that it is in Regulus' best interest to cease written correspondence with me._**

 ** _I respectfully implore you to allow Regulus access to my letters and to the owls, so that he may write me back. I promise I won't write anything in the letters that you and mother wouldn't approve of me writing to Regulus. A quick censorship of my previous letters to Regulus will confirm that. I also will not complain about a continued censorship._**

 ** _He really should be allowed to talk to someone. Please, Father; he is really unhappy. I won't write anything bad; I swear. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon._**

 ** _Respectfully,_**

 ** _Sirius_**

It took Sirius nearly half an hour to write the letter to his father, as he knew that it had to be worded just so in order for his request to be considered. With a deep breath and sealed up the letter. _Please let this work._ Then he tucked the letter into his robes. _To the owlery._

* * *

 **(Peter Pettigrew)**

"If you move there, I'll take your queen with my rook."

 _How?...Oh!_ He quickly moved his piece back to its original position – as if the speed in which he did it effected whether or not Remus was going to change his mind and take his queen anyway.

Peter and his three friends were up in a small eastern tower. They had found it last night while exploring under James' invisibility cloak and had thought it would be rather a nice change of scenery for their snowy Sunday afternoon. With the weather so cold, the Gryffindor common room was packed with overly energetic students, and James had complained that he would go stir-crazy if he had to spend one more minute cooped up in their dormitory. Thus, Peter had suggested that they travel back up to this tower with bags full of snacks and a few games. To his delight, the others had happily agreed. James had even threw an arm around his shoulders and told him that he was brilliant.

They were now spread out leisurely in the round space. There was little up there save for a dusty circular rug, an old armchair, and a bookcase full of old books. There were windows, but they were far too high in the circular vaulted ceiling to be seen out of; however, when they looked up, they could see the light snow falling gently outside. Remus sat curled up against the stone wall with one knee pulled up, chin resting on it, and the other leg bent around his ankle. Peter lay on his stomach across from him with the tangerine-colored pillow from the chair propped up under him.

James was sitting sideways in the armed chair and Sirius was sitting with his legs outstretched and his arms behind him, propping him up. James was a bit restless again, and he and Sirius were plotting out ways in which they could get back at Snape. Apparently no one had yet to have a suggestion that James deemed fitting for what he had said about muggleborns. Peter had half a mind to think that James enjoyed planning out revenge plots far more than actually carrying them out.

Peter moved his castle instead. Remus shook his head slowly at him.

"No?" Peter asked.

"I'd still be able to take your queen."

"You do realize that if you keep telling him, then you two will be playing forever? Pete never figures out how to win" Sirius commented – unnecessarily in Peter's opinion.

"Well Pete's lost the last four games" James chuckled. "Remus took pity."

"Lucky you're playing against Remus. I would have taken your queen every time."

"Me too" James laughed.

"Well then I guess Remus is my favorite person to play against" Peter shot back, trying to sound like it was in good fun, even though he was a little hurt and annoyed at them mocking him. So chess wasn't his forte? So what?

"I'll bet" Sirius smirked none too kindly. "You should play my brother in chess, Remus. He's the only one I can think of who could give you a run for your money."

"That would be nice" Remus replied politely.

"D'you reckon he'll be in Gryffindor?" James asked and Sirius looked over at him, away from the chess board. Remus used the opportunity to discreetly point out the move that Peter should make to protect his queen.

 _Remus, you are so nice._ _Sometimes I don't know what I'd do without you._ He smiled gratefully up at him.

"Er, probably not. I mean, he could make it. I just don't think he'd want to."

"What?" He exclaimed so loudly that Remus flinched in surprise. "Don't tell me you didn't correct him on the whole Slytherin's the best house rubbish?"

"He wouldn't want to upset my parents."

"But doesn't he want to be in the same house as you? Not to mention away from all those cousins of yours."

Sirius shrugged dismissively.

"The hat will decide. Anyway, I'm bored of thinking of ideas to prank Snivellus."

"Yeah" James sighed. "I did think of one thing, but… I dunno …it sounds kinda… not our style."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow at him.

"We have a style?"

James ignored his question.

"I was thinking…when I talked to you, and explained it all to you, you came 'round. Maybe we should just try to –"

"You call that an idea?" Sirius asked accusatorily, cutting him off abruptly.

Peter and Remus were both starting at the two of them now. They were never quite sure when something would upset Sirius to the point of him yelling. He'd been a particularly loose cannon since returning from home; it was like he was looking to be angry about everything.

"I do" James replied with confidence. "And I'm going to do it. I've just decided."

"You're going to get yourself hexed."

"Doubtful. He's only a first year. He knows about as many hexes as I do." James made a thinking face for a moment. "Is the stinging one a hex or a jinx?"

"A hex."

"There. Well I know one."

"Are you serious?" Sirius asked in shock. "How is it you only know one?"

"Well it's not like you know loads more, is it?"

"Of course I do" Sirius said back, sounding astounded that James didn't know more. "I know you didn't take dueling lessons like I did, but didn't you at least pick them up from your parents?"

"Why would I pick them up from my parents?"

"Well, I suppose if they're big on nonverbal magic…, but anyway that's beside the point" Sirius said in exasperation. "I'll teach you some before this big chat, yeah?"

"Alright" James said with a dignified shrug. "If it'll make you feel better."

"And Protego. Do you at least know Protego?" James shook his head. Sirius sighed. He looked around at Remus and Peter. "How about you?" Both Remus and Peter shook their heads as well. "Merlin, you lot are lucky you have me."


End file.
